Happy Thanksgiving!

This is your all-purpose Thanksgiving thread. Discuss what you’re eating, where you’re going and who you’re seeing.

What are you thankful for? Is it turkeys? It should be. So many turkeys gave their lives for tomorrow’s dinner.

Let us honor their sacrifices with random turkey facts, stolen from the Internet at large.

It is not uncommon for turkeys to hide in trees at night. Despite popular misconceptions, many turkeys can fly. The ones we eat are specially bred to be too fat to do so.

If a turkey looks up during a rainstorm, it can drown.

Turkey eggs are generally tan, with intense speckles. They are predictably larger than chicken eggs, and they’re even shaped a bit differently. (Actually, if you picked up a pen and drew an egg right now, chances favor your creation more closely resembling turkey eggs than chicken eggs. Do a blind test and then check Google Images. Tell me I’m wrong.)

Turkeys can and have had heart attacks.

A “hen” is a female turkey. Males are called “gobblers” or “toms.” Chicks are “poults.” I don’t know what any other types of turkeys are called.

Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be our national bird – not bald eagles. Since he didn’t get his wish, we may surmise that Ben Franklin was a reasonable fellow who would gladly listen to a good counterargument.

Turkeys prefer a diet of nuts and berries, but they’ll also eat everything from insects to frogs.

When you eat turkey, there is always the remote chance that you’re also eating some small part of a frog.

The thought disgusts me to the point where I am now and forever eating nothing but farina. I won’t even spike the shit with cinnamon.

My only regret will be a steady diet of the only foodstuff to share a name with the worst-ever host of Unsolved Mysteries.

With encouragement, captive turkeys will shed their grosser instincts and dance for Winter Oreo cookies.

114 thoughts on “Happy Thanksgiving!

  1. Matt Post author

    For those interested – relive X-E’s ancient Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade reviews:

    1984
    1985-1986
    1987
    1989
    1991
    1993

    I’m not sure if all of the old videos still work, but they should. They’re also in WMV format. Good luck with that.

    We’re on stuffed mushroom duty, year 100!

  2. Brandon (brandmed)

    The pictures. The pictures. Excellent..

    I am going to my sister’s house tomorrow. For the third year now, I am on sweet potato souffle duty. Right now, I am boiling sweet potatoes while I put my Christmas tree up. Thanksgiving is just pre-gaming for Christmas anyway, right Pilgrims?.

    I’m also watching Nightmare Before Christmas. It’s always the first Christmas movie I watch while putting up my tree. It’s too Christmas-y for me to watch at Halloween despite its beginning so I watch it in November. It’s a transitional movie for me. Next, I’m going to put on old Roseanne and How I Met Your Mother Thanksgiving episodes followed by Charlie Brown and Garfield. Then, I’ll settle down for the night with Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. I already watched Thankskilling this weekend.

  3. Meg

    Happy Thanksgiving, XE friends. Thanks for being the only website I have continuously read since being a freshman in high school (which is a long time ago).

  4. drew do

    There’s so little reason for these pictures… yet they exist. What the hell possesses (jesus that’s heavy on the letter S) you to do these things? I love it!

  5. Graham

    i am confused by your images. Is that turkey edible, if so then why put it with the non edible woodshavings? Are you keeping it as one of your numerous pets? Where can i get those oreos?

  6. Dann

    Had a pre-Thanksgiving lunch with some Pumpkin Curry Bisque and Trukey Chili. Sick now, but it was so worth it.

  7. Tresjolie9

    One pumpkin pie is in the oven, but I always make the mistake of using graham cracker crusts. They aren’t meant for pumpkin pie, but I love the combination of graham crackers and pumpkin pie.

  8. Meg

    Why ask why, Graham? Why not just let the turkey cake be itself, happy in its’ aquarium?

  9. Graham

    also, love how we are still ghosting things
    i plan to have an apple filled thanksgiving, apple crisp, apple potato lahtkahs, applejack (not the pony) basted turkey, and applecider and applejack to drink.

  10. squee

    I wouldn’t think I could love anything more than this series of pictures, but the total lack of explanation does it.

    Happy T-Day, X-E people!

  11. kittygirl

    The Turkey cake thing is totally amazing!! I hope it is happy in its new home!! Have had some.relative trouble over here with my moms side of people and with dad having passed away, wasn’t sure what I would be doing for Thanksgiving since my brood and him always spent the major holidays with his relatives but wasn’t sure if we would be OK going over there without him or what was going on.. so I bought everything necessary for a feasts here…and an hour later was invited to dinner anyway. Ill be having two thanskgivings! Now that’s full of awesome! Happy Turkey day everyone.

  12. Lara

    I’ve been lurking here following X-E for, oh god, years and years. I think I may have posted once or twice in some drunken stupor or other over the years. But tonight I am so moved to post, because this set of pictures, with no explanation whatsoever, has made my Thanksgiving.

    Screw stuffing and mashed potatoes! Screw pumpkin pie. I can rest happy now, knowing the holiday was a success.

    Thanks, Matt, for all you do.

  13. drew do

    Grahm: That sounds great! I can never find it in myself to try anything new at Thanksgiving. I stick with the classic recipes my mother has used for years.

  14. Bluejay

    Oh my god. This pet turkey. Which eats Oreos. I have no words. <3 <3 <3

    At my house we're having all the standards – turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes with marshmallow, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, stuffing (from the bird and not from the bird), etc. Well, actually, I haven't talked to my mom about any of this, but I think it's a safe assumption because that's what we have every year.

    I'm on dessert duty. I made an apple pie and a cherry pie. Tonight I'm going to make inaccurate scotcharoos. It's like a rice crispy treat only you use peanut butter instead of marshmallow. The original idea is to melt butterscotch on top, but I hate butterscotch so I use chocolate. I still call them "scotcharoos" even though it no longer makes sense. I'm also going to make an extra batch using cocoa crispies, though I'm undecided if I'll top those with even more chocolate.

    We'll also have other desserts that are not made by me. Pumpkin pie and ice cream, and probably a few other things too.

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

  15. King JLA

    I made a pumpkin apple cider pudding cake and a strawberry pretzel pie for tomorrow. We’re having white bean chicken chili at my parents, which is delicious. We’re saving the traditional Thanksgiving foods for Saturday when the entire family comes over.

    Happy Thanksgiving.

  16. MikeyD

    I’m making Candied Apples there were my Grandmother’s recipe. Lots of peeling & coring ahead this evening; then chilling them and stuffing them with a blend of cream cheese & sweetened whipped cream.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  17. Bill

    Just got in town to the folk’s place and am now relaxing while reading this chock full of knowledge about turkeys. They rove in gangs and can attack in a group. I found this out a few years ago.

    Also, I am torn between Hires root beer and A&W. Both of which I have by my side. It’s a Thanksgiving conundrum.

  18. a2stylee

    LOL!! Too cute. I’m kind of grossed out by the thought of the bedding getting stuck in the frosting but I know that’s probably just me. I’m pretending to tolerate violent bloodshed between warring factions, brought to me by DH’s video game, and trying to figure out which rotten pre-Thanksgiving chore to tackle next. :/

  19. starwenn

    Hi, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving! I’m heading down to my mom and stepdad’s house tomorrow with my sister, her boyfriend, and their son (and probably a dog or two). I’m bringing Cranberry Bread and Cinnamon Strusel Bread. This is a tradition going back to college, when all I had time for was to throw together a couple of loaves of bread from Pilsbury Bread mixes. They were such a big hit the morning after, I’ve continued to bring them ever since. The Cinnamon bread is still Pilsbury, but the Cranberry is now made from scratch. (Mom loved the Cranberry Bread I made last year so much, she said she ate almost the whole loaf herself.)

    And yeah, I think the Turkey Cake is awesome, too. Someone in Matt’s local bakery department did good there.

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