You know, when I mentioned in the previous post that it was the last Friday before October, I didn't actually realize that October was starting today. I always assume that every month besides February has 31 days. Stupid svelte September.

Colleagues, brothers! October is here, and with it, the permission to do nothing but "Halloween things" during each and every minute of your lives. (Well, except for the minutes where it'd be inappropriate, like when you're at work, or pissing, or consoling the random stranger who decides to tell you that her kid has neuroblastoma. Other than that, it's all mummies and mirth.)

I desperately need a great October. I've been in and out of an indecipherable funk for weeks. Someone commented on one of the MM videos that my voice sounds like an "old Jewish grandmother," and there's some logic behind it, because I'm experiencing something akin to menopausal mood swings. I'M CATHOLIC YOU ASSHOLE.

So, I need Halloween to wash it all away. I know it can, because there are almost no problems that can't be solved with the "Tunnel of Terror" episode of Roseanne, or trips to Six Flags Fright Fest.

Beyond those joys, I wanted something a little less fleeting. Something Halloweenified that would always be there.

I knew just the thing.

Heck yes, it's time for the Halloween Mood Table! It's become a semi-annual tradition for me, as you'll remember from my 2007 and 2010 guides. YOU BETTER REMEMBER.

If you can't be bothered to read old blogs, the deal is this:

A Halloween Mood Table is a repurposed...table...which you clear off and then fill up with any and every Halloween thing you can find. Decorations, candles, bowls of candy – whatever you want. Whatever's going to make your season darkly bright. DARKLY BRIGHT WOULD BE A GREAT NAME FOR A BAD BAND.

Depending on your living space and preference, your table can be big or small. It certainly doesn't need to be big, because the only goal is to create a corner of your home where Halloween is always happening.

Whether you're sitting right next to it or only catching it with passing glances as you hop to and fro, the Mood Table will remind you, again and again, that October is a special month for reasons all its own.

I HATE BREAKING TRADITIONS, so I started off with the same table from the 2007 version. It's a ratty thing with busted legs and a hideously tiled top, but I love it. It's the perfect four-legged canvas to make my monster grow.

Keeping in mind that aforementioned funk, this year's Mood Table was super important. It couldn't just look good. It couldn't just be "inspiring." I pretty much needed this table to organize and execute every free minute of my entire October. I wanted this thing to bake me witch-shaped cookies. I wanted it to drive me to the library so I could take out old books about satanic cults.

I was putting tremendous pressure on this table, especially considering its shaky legs.

Okay, so maybe I was asking too much from my Mood Table. No table could bake and drive. Still, when I was through, I think it came out pretty close to perfect:

(click that pic to see it HUGE!)

Presenting! My 2011 Halloween Mood Table!

Have to say, it's already eradicating whatever bullshit needed to be eradicated.

As usual, the table is a big old mess. It's supposed to be. I've thrown everything from a squishy Freddy Krueger to tiny faux gourds on there, along with more prized possessions, like my sealed can of Ecto-Cooler.

The big Frankenstein head is a portion of a toy called "Mad Lab." I found it at that horror convention for $10, and loved the price sticker too much to remove. It's missing around a hundred pieces, but it still has its removable eye. It seemed like the perfect centerpiece for a table full of evil spirit.

Rounding out the display is a bowl of candy, because nothing says "Halloween" like baby Snickers. A bit harder to see are a couple of creepy books. I have dozens upon dozens of these, but the idea is that if they're on the Mood Table, I have to read them before Halloween.

Remember, your table isn't meant to just be something you look at. It's supposed to be something that you, for lack of a better term, do.

With that in mind, the biggest upgrade from my past tables is a portable DVD player. Obviously, there's no reason for me to squint at an 8" screen when there's a big television in the same room, but that's not the point. All through October, this player will provide Halloween with its needed "background noise." I'm considering it more like a moving picture than a tiny theater.

Unseen is the pile of DVDs to aid in this endeavor, neatly stacked below that $10 Frankenstein.

Also of note is that little coffin-shaped container in the lower-right. It's a rare occasion when my siblings' kids visit, but sometimes, it does happen. And if it happens this October, I know they're going to gun for my Mood Table. Most of the stuff on there IS NOT FOR TOUCHING, so I filled that tiny coffin with junk they can touch. (Primarily candy I hate, and Halloween-themed vials of bubbles.)

There are times when I detail some ludicrous activity, fully knowing that none of you will do it. This shouldn't be one of those times. I've never exaggerated the power of the Halloween Mood Table, and strongly urge everyone to make their own. It will seriously boost your season's worth, and even if it doesn't, the thirty minutes you spend decorating a table will be moderately enjoyable.

My Mood Table's first screening: Ghoulies II. Yes!

Happy October! I have so many treasures to show you this month. Or at least ten treasures. The rest, I'll wing.