Helllooooo, and thanks for being a part of X-E's 2010 Halloween Countdown: Week 1! Still six more full weeks to go, which, now that I type it, sounds pretty daunting. I remain confident that I will break tradition and not putter out. At least, I'd better not, since I already booked a few spooky trips in totally non-refundable fashion just so I can take wacky photos and write about them.

This is your all-purpose SNT, the first of the season. For the two of you who don't know: "SNT" means "Saturday Night Thread," and it's basically your chance to turn the comments section into a 1998-era Internet hangout, or as X-E's hat-wearing jaguar mascot calls it, a chill zone.

Have at it, but first, a long aside: While not at all Halloweeny, I found these last night and they were too remarkably strange not to comment on:

Hot off the heels of their much-celebrated Halloween Pop-Tarts victory, Kellogg's has brazenly entered a new arena: Breakfast pizza. Cold, normal, sauce-and-cheese pizza would be an a-okay breakfast for many of us, but since this bitch lives with a big "Eggo" logo on its package, they had to make it more decidedly first-mealy. And they've done this by replacing tomato sauce with yogurt. Microwaved yogurt.

It smells better than it looks, but unfortunately, it also smells better than it tastes.

Nah, no thanks. Maybe I just ain't the right test dummy for a "real fruit pizza" consisting of a cheap pancake crust, hot yogurt and nuked berries. I don't know who would be the right test dummy for such a thing, but surely one exists.

There's a reason yogurt doesn't come in see-thru cups: It's kind of gross. I'm no yogurt hater, but I can clearly see that the modus operandi of all yogurt companies is to develop their product and product packaging so that we spend as little time actually looking at yogurt as possible. Even if all foods technically grow more rancid with each passing second that they're exposed to air, you really feel that with yogurt. It's nutritious and delicious, but it was never meant to be spread all over a nuked pancake and eaten leisurely, especially when the yogurt in question is steaming and purple.

On the other hand, maybe that isn't actually yogurt, because the nutrition label shows startling evidence that these "real fruit pizzas" are worse for you than many normal frozen pizzas. If you're going to eat shit, it may as well be Ellio's shit.

I'm being a little more negative than I should be, and it's probably because I feel weird throwing a random fruit pizza review in the middle of a Halloween Countdown. Follies such as this are why I've been secretly honing my special magic abilities for several months.

I. Can. Not. Be. Stopped.