Hard to believe that it's been four years since I revealed X-Entertainment's Freezer, a place where any foodstuff's expiration date is disregarded, and anything packaged with a cartoon character on the front becomes a collectible in cold storage. I am, frankly, disgusting.

In the years since that article was published (and most of the written-about contents finally thrown away), our freezer has slowly built up a new army of things that would probably sell well on eBay if I had any way to ship them.

Recently, I was told in no uncertain terms that our freezer needed to be used for it's truly intended purpose, and could no longer dedicate 50% of its real estate to five-year-old 7-Eleven Slurpees and breakfast foods promoting the movie Shrek 2. I've learned to pick my battles: It was time to clean the freezer.

For the once-delicious treasure below, today is their last hurrah!

First up, a Superman Returns "Kryptonite Ice" Slurpee from 2006. I have no idea what persuaded me to keep this, as I already wrote about it in full. The Slurpee on the right is from one of the Transformers movies, and I can only surmise based on the cup design and Slurpee color that it had some sort of Bumblebee-themed flavor. Given its condition, it seems that the Transformers Slurpee liked to mouth off to all of the other old food when I wasn't looking.

In the middle, a McDonald's Shamrock Shake, leftover from my 2006 tribute. I went through a lot of trouble to find a McDonald's that still sold Shamrock Shakes that year, and my decision to keep one stemmed out of fear that they'd never come back. I suppose I had dreams of owning the last Shamrock Shake on the planet, with which I could parade into cold climate pop museums and name my price at a later date.

These Sopranos edition Chipwiches came out right around the show's finale, and since it's hard to imagine anyone having a distinct need for ice cream tied to The Sopranos, I'm guessing that they were only sold in the show's Tri-State area home turf.

To make the Chipwiches more Sopranos-esque, they were made with cherry-flavored ice cream, as opposed to the typical vanilla or less-typical-but-still-familiar chocolate. How cherry ice cream makes them more Sopranos-esque, I cannot answer. I'd say it's an Italian thing, but I'm Italian, and I live 20 minutes from Tony Soprano. I've never eaten -- or even seen anyone else eat -- cherry ice cream in my entire life. Maybe it was supposed to represent blood and violence, or the #CB152D series logo?

Ahhh, I'm glad to finally rid our freezer of the above collection, since all of the entrants came in big boxes that made it really difficult to use the freezer for practical purposes. A breakdown:

Fear Factor Popsicle Pop-Ups: ...which I had absolutely no reason to save, as they were reviewed years ago. Plus, I hated and was easily grossed out by Fear Factor, and have no idea why I'd force myself to be reminded of the show every time I went to dig out frozen chicken.

Popsicle "Great White" Bars: Hey, I reviewed these, too! Nearly everything in this blog post is from 2006, and I'm starting to wonder if there was some kind of impending disaster threat that made me want to hoard anything and everything edible, up to and including half-melted shark-themed Popsicles. My memory isn't what it used to be, but if this is any indication, I was in a bad place in 2006.

Shrek 2 Waffle Sticks: Yup, covered these too, but they're from 2004. I'm happy to break the 2006 seal, though I'm not sure if it's an improvement to switch to 2004. I had a ball that year with all of the Shrek 2 foods, which ranged from color-changing Cheetos to an ogre edition of Totino's Pizza Rolls. Though I bought and covered almost everything Shrek-related in 2004, only these Waffle Sticks have survived. And I know why. It's the tubs of "Green Swamp Syrup." There's no way to throw something like them away. (I snuck the aforementioned syrup tubs back into the freezer just now, so if I reveal X-Entertainment's freezer again in 2015, they will be on display.)

Eggo Choco-Nilla Flip Flop Waffles: Do they still make these? No clue. For a while, Eggo seemed to be unveiling a new type of "crazy" waffle at a rate of three per hour. Google tells me that I never bothered to write about them, and I can understand that, because I still can't think of anything interesting to say about two-tone waffles. "Neat?"

Yay!!! Totally forgot about these. A relic from that undervalued X-E classic, From One Fry 2 Anotha, it's Ore-Ida's "Kool Blue" Funky Fries! A big stupid bag of dyed-blue fries, with said fries (and paper eyes) still intact! Clearly, by holding on to these I was hedging my bets that the food industry would never again sell blue french fries. And I don't think the food industry ever has. Where's my fame and power?

In 2006 (again?!), I wrote about a limited edition brand of King Kong ice pops, which fashioned the titular gorilla's head out of fruit-flavored icy goodness, with gumball eyes. Well, I held on to a sealed one, and that's what it looked like upon opening. Evidently, ice pops cannot last forever, regardless of temperature. Poor Kong is reminiscent of a murdered Gremlin, and the look on his gumball eyes betrays grief and confusion. I'm sorry, Kong. There will be another day.

Danny Phantom Kid Cuisine! I'm tempted to open this baby up and show you how ghost-shaped chicken nuggets look after a five year stasis, but I can't. Years ago (guess which year), I wrote about a fan protest in NYC to save Danny Phantom from cancellation. To this day, rabid Phantom fans still make comments on that entry, because the best way to resurrect a years-dead series is by posting on a years-dead blog entry on a near-dead site that's completely unassociated with the subject at hand.

Still, I admire their passion. They love their Danny and they think he's cute. They seem like the type of people who'd fork over hundreds of dollars for the lone remaining Danny Phantom Kid Cuisine, MISB. E-mail me, brothers and sisters. Free shipping.