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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Zhu Zhu Pets, Snow and Chocolate Scrabble.

Well, the Advent Calendar has kept me too busy to really write much else, so to the more than half of you who don't read it: Haha, you're fucked.

We got a lot of snow today, which is nice, because this has been one whirlwind of a holiday season that I've barely had a chance to smell, eat, digest or otherwise own.

Christmas is less than a week away, which seems both impossible and absolutely insane. I'm not done shopping. I'm not even done decorating. Thank Leviathan for that "Christmas Lite" week between the 25th and New Year's. (Seriously, let's all plan to make that week the most festive, relaxing post-season in history -- it's a mandatory rule for all of you.)

Back to the snow: The photo above (actually a screengrab from a low-rent Quicktime) gives almost no impression of the vast sea of white seen from our front window, but trust me, it's killer. We must be up to six inches (not that bullshit "six inches where snow collects at its highest" thing, either -- a legit six inches), and if the reports are to be believed, there will be over a foot of God's dandruff waiting for me to shovel by tomorrow morning.

It's gotta be the biggest snowstorm we've had in years. It's completely white out there, but also dead silent. No cars, no stupid kids, no pissing strays...just totally empty and silent, and I love it like that. It totally removes any sense that I should be doing more with my weekend than taking pictures of crab taxidermy and homosexual rabbit figures, or conversely, blabbing about Zhu Zhu Pets.

I'm sure you've heard about these Zhu Zhu Pets. They're this year's biggest "fad toy," reminiscent both in popularity and gimmick to the Furby of old. Kids are absolutely wild for these, and thus, they're impossible to find. I purchased mine from a third party seller on Amazon for $35, not even realizing that they actually retail for just eight bucks.

And if that 400% markup (the cheapest I could find) doesn't mess with your head, consider this: The random Zhu Zhu Pets vehicles and accessories (which are all but essential to have any real fun with the things) are even harder to find, with stuff that costs $10 in stores selling for up to and over $100 online.

As the story gets told from one person to another person to another person to a cat and back to another person, Zhu Zhu Pets have garnered a reputation that they might not deserve. They're cute, fun and interesting, but they're not loaded with insane levels of artificial intelligence. At root, they're just battery-powered hamster dolls that roll around the floor and chirp. (Which isn't to say that they aren't capable of wonders beyond that, but don't be fooled into thinking that your Zhu Zhu Pet will fetch the newspaper and help out with the crossword puzzle afterwards.)

I made a tiny movie of the miracle rodent, though after uploading it, I noticed that YouTube has no less than 700,000 other Zhu Zhu Pets videos available, which all tell the tale more thoroughly than mine. While I haven't really engrossed myself in all that this wondrous little rat can do, I've seen enough to say this much with confidence: If I was a kid, I would go absolutely apeshit until somebody gave me one.

It isn't so much what Zhu Zhu Pets do that make them so appealing. It's the idea that you're getting a "real" pet. Think of all the similar fads that existed for the same reason, from Tamagotchis to Furbys and beyond. Sure, they were interesting toys with some progressive ideas and technologies at play, but at heart, it was the "pet concept" that really sold 'em. Same thing here. What kid wouldn't want to spend Christmas morning convincing themselves that they got a new hamster to take care of, even if that hamster was filled with wires and plastic instead of bones and blood?

Thumbs up. Factor in all of the weird vehicles and "hamster habitats" that you can buy for your robot rats, and the Zhu Zhu line seems well worth the hype. Mainly, I just find the idea of electronic hamsters sold in perfectly rectangular window boxes too adorable not to commend.

Finally, there's a new line of "Chocolate Edition" spins on your favorite board games, including the one I chose to spend ten bucks on during my last lapse of judgement at Target: Chocolate Scrabble.

Many popular board games have been remodeled like this, and while I can't honestly claim that they're intended to be "Christmas editions," the fact that Target put them in their stocking stuffer section makes it hard to deny, because Target is never wrong. Besides, I don't know how your family does their Christmas party, but we always have random, wacky shit like this at ours. A chocolate Scrabble set would fit right in.

Instead of literally translating the original games into chocolate form, they've scaled down the rules and decreased the number of usual pieces. On the bright side, the pieces you do get are much larger, and they're filled with chocolate!

Though you can't really tell from my photo, the game board is actually a poster-sized sheet of paper. The wrapped chocolate letters are about as large as After Eight mints, and the winner of this delicious game gets to take home that gold medallion shown on the upper left. (Which, of course, is also filled with chocolate.)

I could totally see breaking this baby out after my family's Christmas Eve dinner, when we're all too loaded to really care if we're playing properly, or even if certain players cheat by eating undesirable letters. Somehow, the thought of that just injected a much needed dose of Christmas spirit right up my spinal cord. Chocolate Scrabble, you're an alien Santa Claus.

It's way too late at night to classify this as an SNT, so, uh, Merry Sunday?

Posted by Matt on 12/20/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 303 comments

2 feet of snow here and I’m visiting from Florida :/

Chestnuts roasted by Brett @ 12/20/2009 11:45 PM


I actually had a very similar toy to the Zhu Zhu as a kid in the early 90s. It was the same basic thing: a battery powered hamster that ran around on the floor, and it came with a hamster ball it could run around in as well. I can’t for the life of me remember what it was called but this just looks like a more modern version of that same toy.

Chestnuts roasted by iROB @ 12/20/2009 11:46 PM


Man, that “I miss Waiterbetty” line made me feel really bad for Waiterbot.

I need to start calling more people ‘tablefuckers’.

I hope we get another winter storm this year.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 12/20/2009 11:49 PM


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPISSChpB7k

Jet – by Paul McCartney.

Chestnuts roasted by Garrett Gilchrist @ 12/20/2009 11:55 PM


“Charles, you brainless tablefucker” is my new swear phrase.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 12/21/2009 12:01 AM


Yes, Darth Galvatron! I’m breaking that word out on somebody first chance I get. We’ll see whether I come off as hostile or chummy.

And half the people here don’t read the Advent Calendar?

Chestnuts roasted by Tutsuro @ 12/21/2009 12:02 AM


Matt, thank you for the Advent Calendar! It must take a lot of work and I appreciate you keeping us entertained every year, despite your busy schedule! ^_^ I might need a T-Shirt that says, “Charles you brainless tablefucker! Why aren’t you drinking?!” Now I just need a friend named Charles…

Chestnuts roasted by fuyoutakai @ 12/21/2009 12:15 AM


Matt thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou SO MUCH for staying up late with the AC each night. It is the highlight of my day every day!!!!

Also, as of the 08′ AC, Hare and Claire were an incest item. Are you still going with that aspect or nay? Either way, great work, man!

Chestnuts roasted by ReesiePuffs @ 12/21/2009 1:57 AM


Oh, they still are very much incestuous Winningham sisters. They’re just less comfortable breaking into songs about it when they don’t have a homefield advantage.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/21/2009 2:03 AM


The newest Lego man being killed within seconds of introducing himself made my night. Hysterical!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 12/21/2009 2:56 AM


I really don’t like the Zhu Zhu pets fad, especially when I can do something out of the box and…get a real hamster! Having a robot pet is just lazy and teaches no responsibility…

Holy Shit! I sound like my Dad!!

Chestnuts roasted by Berdo saves Christmas @ 12/21/2009 3:04 AM


…Poor poor Cagey Cajun Moe. I sort of liked him.

Chestnuts roasted by Flippy P. Hambone @ 12/21/2009 3:28 AM


I think this is the night that I get back up to date. :D

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/21/2009 4:19 AM


Teddy Ray Thanks. I think.

What happened to Brit reminds us that we aren’t promised a long life. We aren’t promised anything really. And so we need to live everyday to the fullest and feel grateful for what we have. Everybody that is shoveling snow needs to just shut their yap because they could of been dead!! I said the shoveling snow part in a over the top sarcastic kind of way, so don’t be mad :)

I have sirius radio now, and I was listening to the Martha Stewart radio channel earlier and this chef was talking about cooking meat like lamb or strip steak in branches of your Christmas Tree. Funny how people try to act like he invented something because many many years ago we only had the camp fire to cook meat in. But an interesting idea though, a steak tasting woodsy.

I have always liked Waiterbot, I can relate to his bitterness against the world. I am glad that Jet and the Bunny are officially a couple. They can go to gay day at Disneyland next year!

I did some well needed housework because I didn’t want it to sit until I come back next Monday. I washed the toilets and the floors, took out the trash, folded the laundry put it away, packed most of my stuff, and baked a sara lee dutch apple pie I bought on sale at walmart last week. I still have to go to walmart and get some cranberry juice sigh and do a load of dishes. I need to pack this laptop with the cords and my toothbrush and toothpaste when we get up this afternoon. I swear if I were a drinker I would get so hammered on New Years. Or break some ceramic figurines.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 12/21/2009 7:54 AM


Present wrapping time with Chevy Chase and the Grizwalds

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 12/21/2009 8:26 AM


To all the Pagan’s out there today I’d like to wish you a festive and merry Yule. May your solstice celebrations be filled with joy and cheer.

Chestnuts roasted by Shawn @ 12/21/2009 8:53 AM


Yeah, thanks for screwing us who don’t care about the stupid advent calendar but we do care about the candy, the christmas decorations and the soda pop.

Chestnuts roasted by Florsie @ 12/21/2009 9:51 AM


I was in 6th grade when Tamagotchi came out and in 7th when Furbies came around. I only remember getting hyped for Tamagotchi and nostalgic nearly 10 years later when the interactive versions came out (The ones where the Tamas can visit eachother via radio signal).
I wasn’t too crazy about Furby though, I felt that they were a ripoff of the Tamagotchi concept and were ugly to boot.

Chestnuts roasted by Palmerholic @ 12/21/2009 10:16 AM


I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought the Zhu Zhu pets were really just overly-hyped cat toys. It is fun to watch stressed parents lose their shit over $8 cat toys, though. My 3 year-old is night quite old enough to demand particular toys just yet, but I bet I’ll be one of those stressed parents for future Christmases.

Chestnuts roasted by tanta07 @ 12/21/2009 10:51 AM


Anyone who doesn’t read the Advent Calendar is depriving themselves of quite possibly the best writing Matt has ever done.

Zhu Zhu Pets: Ok, now I’m seriously confused. THIS is the big toy? The one that everyone has to have? I mean, WTF? You want a Robotic Stuffed Hamster for Christmas? It doesn’t even transform or anything? It just rolls around and makes annoying noise?

Frankly, I bet the manufacturer is kicking themselves on the $8 price point. They probably could have charged $19.95 and got away with it. I just can’t fathom why it’s so popular. What’s the appeal? I may be 26 years old, but I can still appreciate awesome toys (My Lego collection is a testament to that). But this is not an awesome toy.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/21/2009 11:10 AM


Man-car FTW!

I bought a zhu zhu for my niece for X-mas (it was all she wanted). Thankfully I nabbed one on Ebay for 14.99 before the insanity started.

Chestnuts roasted by Toxikfoxx @ 12/21/2009 11:31 AM


http://www.theonion.com/content/news/holiday_advertisers_seek_coveted

Chestnuts roasted by Bartleby @ 12/21/2009 11:34 AM


Also, Sam Preston talked about “Regenerating.” You think James Lipton is like the Doctor? He died and regenerates into a new Body? That would explain the weird clothes…

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/21/2009 11:54 AM


I haven’t commented in a while, been really busy but still reading the site. Merry Christmas everyone!

Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 12/21/2009 12:15 PM


SWEEEEET update! Lovin’ the back to evil of Claire and Hare. Can’t wait for the next one – but with so little time left, can Arcano be dealt with properly? Or will he be a returning villain each year, sort of the Megatron to Knacks and Kuse’s Optimus Prime?

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws @ 12/21/2009 12:21 PM


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