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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Christmas Night Lights, Magnets and Bumbles.

It was supposed to be so innocent -- a simple evening run to Toys "R" Us for batteries and a few other needed bits. The place was expectedly mobbed, but I managed to sneak in and out without a long wait, as the second I got on line, a bunch of registers opened up and speeded everything along. Most of the stuff that I needed was on sale, too. It was shaping up to be the most perfect little TRU run in holiday history, until my car exploded on the way home.

Actually, it was just a flat tire. A flat tire may be a minor nuisance for the planet at large, but it isn't for me. I can't change tires, and even if I could, my old donut tire wasn't even in the car. To further the drama, I'd left my cell phone at home.

Struggling to find the button to put on my hazard lights for the first time ever, I sat on the side of the road, waiting for a cop to come rescue me -- just like in the movies. Twenty minutes and a chewed tongue later, and I was still sitting there. Ultimately, I drove the thing home with a flat, clunking the whole way, assuredly twisting my front-right rim into a pretzel and increasing the cost of tomorrow's repair job tenfold.

That's the long way of saying: Today's AC entry will be up a bit late. :)

Tonight's SNT is brought to you by G&E's Color-Changing LED Night Light, snowman-themed. I love this thing. The crude animated GIF really doesn't sell the smoothness of the color-changing feature, where reds subtly morph to blues, and blues subtly morph to whites, and yadda yadda. Most electrical outlets have to spend the holiday season uglied by a dozen extension cords, but with this, your outlet becomes a decoration in itself.

Getting back to Toys "R" Us for a moment: It wasn't easy to navigate the store's aisles with so many stressed out shoppers present, but because Matt is dead and I'm actually a sentient mutant ferret who took his place years ago, I managed. Somewhere in those zips and dashes, I found Christmas magic...

This LEGO Holiday Magnet was a nice surprise, and not just because it's a tribute to the LEGO Santa who died on December 21st, 2007. It was also a nice surprise for at least, oh, thirty other reasons.

The lower base is the only truly magnet-related artifact in the set, and if it would've fit as nicely on the package, this would be more correctly titled a "LEGO Miniature Christmas Playset." You get Santa, a bare tree, a lantern, and what appears to be a toolbox filled with random, orphaned LEGO parts. Mainly I'm just happy that there's something more interesting on our fridge to look at than pictures of my distant cousins' kids now.

While there, I also picked up this small, musical Bumble snowglobe. I love Bumble, and I've failed at every opportunity to see something Bumble-related and not buy it.

A little button on the front activates the globe, sending the styrofoam snowballs spinning like mad while various, Rudolph-related songs blast at a surprisingly high volume. I gave the globe a test run at TRU, and was surprised to learn that it will play music for approximately 17 minutes even if you only press the button once. Not knowing how to turn it off at the time, I was forced to shop with my own personal musical score following me around.

In our collective travels with small, styrofoam snowballs, we've all learned that they're extremely static and adhesive. Hence, as they fly around Bumble's spherical abode, they have a nasty habit of getting stuck to his head. Maybe the snowglobe's makers made it this way to distract us from the unfathomable "BUMBLES" label above the activation button. Why did they pluralize? Clearly there is only one Bumble in this globe.

Off to work on the AC. If I'm lucky, red wine by 3 AM. Happy SNT!

Posted by Matt on 12/12/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 401 comments

hmmm…lots o snow…and we still all need to hear about this years Church bazzar winnings Matt

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Jingle belle_Reeves @ 12/19/2009 9:14 AM


Holy sweet monkey balls!! I didn’t get to read the last 2 entries due to work (I’m now off for the rest of ’09) and I come back to pure, kidney tickling, unadulterated awesomeness in the AC. James Liptop doppleganger????!! “Fuck you Charles!” the catch phrase for the next decade??! The return of Knacks/Kuse/Mare??!?

I don’t know if I can take it….

King JLA My condolences to you and your family.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 12/19/2009 9:43 AM


citygirl: Both. It’s just best not to give the weirdos of the world the attention they crave. Too bad the media does the exact opposite…did you hear Jon and Kate are divorced???!!!

I’m really gonna have to go to Walmart today to see if there’s Christmas Crunch left. I didn’t even want any till now…I detest our Walmart, but I found one 15 miles away (because that’s not too close to have another Walmart) that’s glorious.

Chestnuts roasted by Amy @ 12/19/2009 9:49 AM


thejyav- They’re the ghosts of Christmas Present! Or the ghosts of ACs past!

Chestnuts roasted by PlantToymaker @ 12/19/2009 10:23 AM


*Points and laughs at Cameron T* “Breaking Dawn! Breaking Dawn!”
Just kidding…but not really. LOL

Man, Jugendsehnsucht. That Mexican eggnog dessert would make an excellent blog post. Too bad you don’t write.

Just finished food shopping and now I’m waiting for this crazy winter storm to hit NYC. It’s a big deal here since we don’t get hit with much snow. Just going to relax, watch some Christmas toons, play Ghostbusters on my 360, and wait for the SNT and possibly a new blog post. It would be the perfect time for one.
:)

Oh yeah, and “expletive deleted” you Charles!

Chestnuts roasted by Berdo saves Christmas @ 12/19/2009 1:58 PM


I think the ending of the most recent AC entry was the first time in an Advent Calendar that I actually said to myself, “Oh shit!”

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Russo @ 12/19/2009 1:59 PM


ARRRRRRGGGGGH! It was bad enough when Kuse was courting Mare, now the Rabbit boy and the skater cretin are driving me up the walls! JUST FUCK YOU FOOLS! YOU’RE IN LOVE!

Waiterbot continues to be the only voice of reason in this cacophony of confusion and Christmas magic.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 12/19/2009 1:59 PM


Darth Galvatron – I’m just waiting for the two catchphrases to come together in the ultimate “Fuck you Charles, I AM WAITERBOT!”

Chestnuts roasted by Guise @ 12/19/2009 2:41 PM


One thing bugs me: “Favorite Things” is NOT a Christmas song! I don’t care if it’s included in some Christmas albums and the stores play it during Christmas for some reason. “The Sound of Music” wasn’t a Christmas movie!!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 12/19/2009 2:51 PM


I thought Arcano was singing “Favorite Things” in order to torture our heroes.

Seriously, I would be happy if I never saw Sound of Music ever again. And don’t get me wrong, I love musicals. But sound of music is the most overdone musical in existence. Everyone and their mother has produced it. It’s boring. Played out. Dull.

(For those that care, I’m 1/3rd of the way through Breaking Dawn, and I really feel for you Twilight fans out there. This is crap. I wish my Grandfather would’ve showed up in the book right after the wedding and said (as he said to my Dad before leaving college), “Boy, do you know what a rubber is? USE ONE.”)

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/19/2009 3:03 PM


For your Holiday enjoyment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GUH6CpEOn4&feature=player_embedded

Made me smile, giggle and squeal. :-D

Chestnuts roasted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 12/19/2009 3:23 PM


Mars: Yes it is, it’s the definitive Christmas song and no Christmas song has or will ever be more Christmassy.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/19/2009 3:37 PM


Wow, that was seriously amazing.

Also, it’s snowing where I am (Long Island)! Jeez, I hate driving in snow…

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 12/19/2009 3:42 PM


DarkSideofBrightness- Thanks for that. Here’s this for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnk0KjWxgMA

After years of hearing about it, years of hearing Mista Snowman giggle about it, after reading the reviews so many times, I finally have a box of Christmas Crunch. My season is complete.

Chestnuts roasted by PlantToymaker @ 12/19/2009 4:33 PM


Well, the woman and I just got back from food shopping. We got food, liquor, GH III through 5, Rock Band, Wii Sports Resort, Super Mario Bros. Wii, and whole bunch of other games, and a laptop.
I’m ready for the storm to hit the NY area and ready to get hammered while playing some games and reading X-E. Somehow, my depressing Christmas season is getting a little better.

Guise I think the universe would collapse in on itself if such an awesome phrase were to become widely used.

Either that, or everyone should pay Matt a nickel every time it was uttered.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 12/19/2009 4:52 PM


OH Hell yes Matt is getting the AC band back together. This years has been great but it’s not Christmas with out Kuse Knacks and Mare.

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 12/19/2009 5:19 PM


Of course we’re swell, Rev. I know you always make ME swell. ;)

Cameron T., if I remember correctly you said you were reading the Twilight books because a girl you were interested in liked them. How’s that working out for you? For your sake, I hope it’s working. That crap sucks.

Debs, that singing house was awesome! I wish my house sang! It would sing Mele Kalikimaka.

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 12/19/2009 6:11 PM


Teddy Ray
Well, said girl lives 350 miles away…so that was really only part of it. At least it gives me an excuse to chat with her about it over the internet. But I was also morbidly curious. And I will freely admit to really liking the 3rd book, flaws and all.

But also, as a writer I feel like no reading is wasted. Even terrible stuff has its value. You can’t write well if you can’t recognize crap.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/19/2009 6:29 PM


Well, I had some snow earlier today, but then it just stopped. I got my hopes up for a while that a Blizzard would come, but it didn’t! Oh well. Maybe it’ll cut loose again, and this time, NOT stop!!!

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 12/19/2009 6:36 PM


Cameron T.: What do you think of Gregory Maguire’s books?

Chestnuts roasted by Amy @ 12/19/2009 6:50 PM


Thanks for that You Tube vid, Debs!

Preparing to be snowed in here in NY, have the news watching all the snow stories.

Chestnuts roasted by Tresjolie9 @ 12/19/2009 7:39 PM


Amy
I’ve only read “Wicked” and “Son of a Witch.” I loved Wicked. Loved it. The sequel wasn’t quite as good, but I still enjoyed it. But the original “Wicked” was great.

Did you know he’s also written some Children’s books? After reading Wicked I can hardly imagine that, but he has.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/19/2009 7:59 PM


Yeah, those are the two I’ve read as well, and I agree with you on both. I haven’t seen the Lion one at my teensy-town library yet, but in the meantime I’m reading Mirror, Mirror – his version of Snow White. So far, so good, but yeah, nothing will be as good as Wicked, I don’t think.

Chestnuts roasted by Amy @ 12/19/2009 8:12 PM


I really gotta stop reading the threads before the advent calendar- it keeps killing the surprises.
Do you guys think Tigerboy is dead?

Chestnuts roasted by Tutsuro @ 12/19/2009 8:42 PM


Tusuro, I hope Tigerboy isn’t dead, just maskless. I’m getting curious to see what Tigergoy’s face looks like

Same way Kuse lost his mask…

Chestnuts roasted by Tresjolie9 @ 12/19/2009 8:54 PM


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