HALLOWEEN IS HERE! Well, almost. Technically, it’s just Mischief Night and an excuse to drink skunked Heineken while Tales From The Darkside spins softly in my DVD player. But we’re so close to Halloween, you can taste it.
Actually, by the time most of you read this, it will be Halloween. And for a fair portion of you, it’ll actually be after Halloween. It’s almost…too much to make sense of. Perhaps God should not have created the pumpkin to be so easily converted into an organic bong.
So ends another X-Entertainment Halloween Countdown. Can’t say that it’s been one for the books, but at least it hasn’t been one for the list. I hope you’ve gleamed some small semblance of morbid merriment from the site over the past two months, but even if you didn’t, I scored a life-sized audio-animatronic Jason Voorhees out of the deal, not to mention lots of sweet chewy candy.
This actually isn’t the last post of the Halloween Countdown — there will be one more. A final party post, including the remaining Die-O-Ramas and, if the rumors are true, dancing skeleton GIFs. I’d give you that stuff now, but since those first few paragraphs up there will only make sense if I publish this bitch by midnight, I’m kind of in a rush.
And yay, I actually have something decent to cover! I found this “Ghost Finders” disposable camera weeks ago at Party City, and it was as if some giant-sized, benevolent-version of the Grim Reaper parted the skies, pointed his scythe at me and said, “today…is the day I give to YOU.”
A camera that automatically adds ghosts to the pictures you take! Inconceivable! I haven’t been this satisfied with a ten dollar purchase since Best Buy took 50% off Dragon Wars.
As the box promises, each of the photos taken with the disposable camera will feature a ghastly image of a spirit, or, in some cases, a disembodied skull. Sure, it’s just a Halloween spin on an existing gimmick, but holy shit, it’s clever. Is there anyone on this planet who wouldn’t want to take pictures of their sneakers and see floating blue lady heads over them after the film develops? Only the blind could balk!
I snapped those photos like my life depended on it. Any previous photograph-related speed-taking records were soundly eradicated. I can’t say that I was taking the pictures with any sense of artistry, but then, that sort of effort is best saved for film that doesn’t belong to a disposable camera that throws skulls over the pictures.
After snapping and winding and snapping and winding and then doing the biiiiiig wind at the end, I was ready to get my film developed and revel in the glories of wacky photography. Unfortunately, there were two problems:
1) Getting normal film developed isn’t as easy as it used to be. The normal stores are mainly expecting digital deliveries. Though virtually any photo-related kiosk is able to act as the liaison between you and another place that actually develops film, I was adamant about getting my pictures back in one hour. After all, I stood to receive pictures of my cats with floating ghost heads covering their midsections. Can you blame my impatience?
2) Even when I was finally able to find a store that could develop film in-house and adhere to the commonly accepted standards of “one hour photo,” I had to come to terms with handing a “Ghost Finders” camera over to someone in public. It’s not that I was ashamed, but do I always have to be that guy? You’ve seen the stuff I buy for your entertainment. Just once, I’d like to exit a store without causing someone there to wonder if I mutilate children in my basement.
But, for wacky photographs, no problem is insurmountable!
I got real, actual, in-hand photographs, but I also had them create a CD with digital pictures, as I was worried that I wouldn’t meet CVS’s unspoken $10 Minimum Purchase clause otherwise. Sad to say…I know they’re inherently doctored photos…but they’re a lot more doctored on the box. 
I saw ghosts, yes, but not on all of the pictures. Any photos taken outside or in very bright light lacked ghouls. And, on the pictures that actually did bear some supernatural artifact, the ghosts were often too faint or small to notice without the aid of a monacle. The bright side is, you finally have an excuse to buy a monocle.
But the pictures weren’t all bad. Above are my favorite three, or maybe just a random three. Because the makers of “Ghost Finders” cameras were aiming for bonus points from me, there are actually a lot of different spirits in the pictures. Old bald men, skulls, shrieking women, children — there’s even a cloaked demon in the mix!
The final picture shown above is probably the creepiest in the batch. It’s just a picture of our front windows, if you couldn’t tell. There’s this gnarly old couple shown in the middle, with blacked out eyes and latex-level wrinkles. And they’re smiling. If I developed this film without prior knowledge that the photos were taken on a ghost camera, that picture would’ve caused my head to explode into hilarious confetti.
Not a bad find for ten bucks, and a nice piece of business for us to end this year’s Countdown on. Only, this isn’t ending the Countdown, because I’m posting again tomorrow. I think I already said that. Let’s assume it warranted repeating.
Happy (almost) Hallo!
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
3rd to last pic… is that an upside down Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man head?