Cape is the new rock.

I haven’t posted anything for a week, and in that time, the retail world has all but completely moved away from Halloween and onto Christmas. Not unexpected, but still infuriating. I like Christmastime a thousand times more than Halloween, but I don’t want to see it in October.

In many stores, the Halloween sections have already been shrunk down to half an aisle, surrounded by a growing assortment of red and green baubles — like a lone farmer trying to keep the universe’s most festive locust swarm at bay. I know that I shouldn’t correlate Halloween’s vitality with its shelf space in department stores, but I do. No holiday season should have to die before the holiday actually happens.

But hope is not lost, as the spooky products in today’s post — all found earlier this afternoon — prove.

A series of impending niece-and-nephew birthdays required a Best Buy run, because all any of the kids in my family want are $60 video games and DVD box sets. While there, I stumbled upon an awesome display of lesser-celebrated horror movies, each arriving in its own body bag for 9 bucks a pop!

Pretty clever, actually. The movie are collectively presented as FEARnet’s “most feared,” and we’re to assume that these “body bag editions” were selected by way of an impressive FEARnet poll on the world’s scariest movies. Given the gamut of DVD titles on display, I’m gonna call bullshit on that. What they’re really doing is gathering a bunch of older/independent/unpopular movies, and throwing them in awesome body bags purely for purchase persuasion. And…it absolutely works!

The DVDs come in their normal cases, but they’re all shoved into an extra case, body bag-themed. Incredibly, this is all it takes to get me to buy DVDs that I would never normally buy. I mean, the body bags have working zippers and everything! I’m not entirely convinced that I wouldn’t have bought one even if there was no DVD inside.

I think they missed an obvious opportunity, though. Most body bags are black. At least, they’re black when they’re intended to create an ambiance of dread and terror. These DVD body bars are see-through. It would’ve been much cooler to get “surprise” DVDs in all-black bags. I’m sure that some of you are mentally arguing with that statement — you just can’t picture anyone buying a DVD without knowing what DVD they were buying. I disagree. I think people are much more likely to buy surprise DVDs than repackaged copies of Slaughter High and Stir of Echoes 2. I have confidence in this idea. I will patent it.

And now, a little sumptin’ sumptin’ for the ladies:

Found at Target, it’s another run of those holiday edition “cylinders” filled with tiny-sized dolls in seasonal clothing. I’ve written about other “cylinder edition” exclusives at least a hundred times in the past, but truth be known, I’m aiming for 200.

Among the brands represented, we have My Little Pony and Littlest Pet Shop. The packaging is suitably Halloweenified, but not in any dangerous kind of way. The dolls inside are much more dramatically themed, all wearing removable costumes.

Previous special editions such as this have desensitized me to the otherwise otherworldly thought of horses and dogs dressing up as pirates and witches, but the Littlest Pet Shop pack provided one nice surprise: A spider! I had no idea that Littlest Pet Shop delved so deep! Arthropods! Arthropods with removable ghost sack costumes! Suddenly, the idea that I stood on line and charged toys meant for five-year-old girls on my American Express card feels less sour. A Littlest Pet Shop spider? That was made for me.

Finally, CVS has a new line of Peanuts Halloween figures, in costumes that totally disregard the comics and TV specials. I consider this a good thing. The world did need an action figure of Charlie Brown in his classic multi-holed ghost bedsheet costume, but it didn’t need 80 of them.

Charlie Brown may not have dressed like a vampire in any of the comic strips or cartoons, but that kind of accuracy just doesn’t seem important when you’re purchasing Peanuts action figures from your local pharmacy.

I picked up Chuck and Schroeder, but according to the cardbacks, Snoopy and Lucy are also available. I never held anything but total apathy towards Schroeder, but he’s clearly the chaser figure in the collection, arriving in an awesome Phantom of the Opera costume with a piano accessory. All Charlie Brown got was a cape. Cape is the new rock.

75 thoughts on “Cape is the new rock.

  1. ULTRAMAN

    I bought a Halloween CD at Halloween USA. It’s got some ok tunes on it, but the X-E jukebox is definitely better. I can’t believe that October is almost over! Before you know it it’ll be Thanksgiving. Time really does fly . At least when your havin fun. lol

  2. Cameron T.

    Man, Christmas stuff before Halloween is an evil that no one should have to witness. I have an absolute strict rule of NO Christmas before Thanksgiving. Absolutely NONE. Of course, I’m Episcopalian, so for me, Christmas does not stop dead at Dec. 25th, but goes to Jan. 6th. I can’t imagine celebrating Christmas for two whole months. It just cheapens the Holiday. I was appalled to see the new CGI Christmas Carol film opens the second week of November. That’s just wrong.

    We have a football game on Halloween next week. I’m trying to figure out if I can make a cheap costume to wear….But the game is in the afternoon, so it will likely get hot. Hell, I’ll probably just wear my Fedora…

  3. mandy_Reeves

    im eating fruit loops and diet coke and watching childs play….i never saw it before….

  4. Berdo

    @Shawn You really need to post the cross streets for that house in Bay Terrace. I live in South Beach and would love to see something as crazy as that.

    As far as Christmas coming early, I went to Applebees in Times Square last night because I visited the Toys R Us over there with my family and I ordered the Sam Adams Oktoberfest, but they changed it for the Winter Ale. It feels so wrong drinking Winter Ale with fake cobwebs and bats surrounding me. I purchased the last 6-pack of Oktoberfest last night and had a few rounds. Too bad the XE site was giving me shit.

    Um…do I talk about beer in an inappropriate amount on XE?

  5. ericnrosesmom

    plantmonster thanks for the info. I don’t remember either of those. I’m starting to get into recovery mode from a bad case of (I think) food posioning that I had yesterday. I will NEVER eat at Long John Silvers again!!!

  6. Teddy Ray

    Neg, I don’t recall mentioning Hello Kitty and I don’t think she belongs in Manland either. :)

    I think it’s time for Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy to come back, even it’s just a Halloween only thing.

  7. Cameron T.

    BaconI watched a little bit of it. Not a huge Ice Skating fan but I loves me some Mannheim Steamroller, even if their Halloween stuff isn’t as good as their Christmas stuff.

  8. Muppet Baby

    Just bought a new car (2010 Hyundai Sonata) and for the 1st time ever, I have satellite radio…starting tomorrow they are launching a Halloween themed channel! So I can dig some spooky tunes on the way to work.

    Maybe it’s because I am high on cold medicine, but those Peanuts figures are frigging ridiculously cute.

  9. Annette

    I want that Schroeder figure. It is amazing.

    Also, I love Christmas but it needs to stay the fuck out of October and November. Jeez.

  10. drew do

    I don’t know, I could do without those Peanuts figures. I guess I’m a purist. I’d take the originals any day though!

  11. Terror Claws

    Ahh Sunday night. Peace descends upon the house as the church day ends. Ahh, quiet and peace. And time for Halloween specials.

  12. sirdaveysockrocker

    nice how they know how much scene kids love retro stuff so they put one on the cover. its like saying, “hey! do you wanna be a cool scene kid? then watch this and laugh at it, get high while watching it, we dont care just buy it!”

  13. ULTRAMAN

    Terror Claws:Nothing like peace,quiet and order.
    I’ve never actually seen Slaughter High. I remember passing it all the time in the video store when I was a kid, but I never actually rented it. I’ll give it a try.

  14. AJ

    Slaughter High is definitely worth a watch or seventeen. Especially that DVD, because the trivia track was made by someone who knows very little about the film Slaughter High and its cast, and instead will tell you facts about things such as spiders and chemicals.

  15. mandy_Reeves

    totally awesome food network challenge tonight!!! Horror cakes! it might be up on fancast i dunno…but I love cakes, and wanted to start making my own one day…with the fondant and stuff.

  16. godjilla

    Just got back from a fun night at the NC State Fair. As my fiance’ and I were chowing down on some elephant ears and fried cheesecake-on-a-stick, we saw a sign for something called a “Pig Licker” which is a big ‘ol slab of bacon dipped in chocolate. I love being from the South. Yeehaw!

  17. nork

    I rented “Trick R Treat” from the Playstation Store last night. I thought it was pretty awesome, I’ve been pumped for it to finally come out.

    Has anyone else seen this? What did you think?

  18. Jugendsehnsucht

    Berdo: I feel the brew dilemma.
    I’ve been trying to take advantage of the seasonal märzen beers, and was tempted to try another pumpkin ale (which I’ve never had much luck with, although I’ve yet to try Dogfish Head’s version), but the colder weather has awakened a a part of me that is having a hard time resisting the urge to cave in and get some Samuel Smith’s Winter Welcome or Delirium Noël.

    mandy_Reeves:
    Between horror cakes and pumpkin carving on Food Network Challenge, and the re-run of The Secret Life of: Halloween, Food Network seriously delivered the seasonal goods today. Cheered me right up.

  19. shortcake79

    Please let me say that my local did NOT have these fantastic Charlie Brown items this year for Halloween. I have been so disappointed about it,and now seeing these pics of what should have been,I’m thinking of going to a corner to weep.
    Bright note is my 6 yr old son is totally into It’s a Great Pumpkin and quoted me many lines. A mother’s joy!

  20. Ed Hunter

    Slaughter High is an excellent movie, its a fun and cheesy film. And its got the lovely Caroline Munro, too.

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