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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Chucky: Pro-Wrestling Superstar.

Quick note for those who are planning to participate in the Spooky Die-O-Rama Contest: Due to e-mail size restrictions, yes, you may e-mail a link to your photo if the attachment is too large. Also, I will reply to let you know that I've received your entry. If I haven't replied to your e-mail within 12 hours, it means that I have not received your entry! Keep 'em coming!

I've developed almost total blindness to the many street vendors near my office, but this one caught my eye. A guy with a table full of crappy "I Love NY" and Michael Jackson memorial t-shirts was also selling, for whatever reason, one lone Chucky t-shirt. I'm assuming it was a bootleg, or at least, I hope it was, as the idea that Child's Play could inspire bootleg clothing at this late date really warms my soul.

I knew that I was toying with my destiny by not buying it, but I had no cash on me, and street vendors don't take American Express. I could have hit an ATM, but in the frenzy of conflicting thoughts battering my head at the end of a long day, getting on an earlier bus won out over wasting precious minutes to buy a bootleg Chucky "Wanna Play?" t-shirt.

I make no excuses. It was the wrong decision, and I've been bent out of shape over it all night. Worst part is, I just know that if I went back tomorrow, the shirt salesman will be gone and some random peanut vendor will be in his place. Of all the missed opportunities that will keep me up at night for however long I have left, this lost Chucky shirt will forever sting hardest. Damn.

To quell the depression, I knew I had to write about something Chucky-related tonight. Something, anything. I wracked my brain. Chucky's top ten kills? Top five quips? A rhyming ode to the turkey baster scene from Seed of Chucky? So many options, but none seemed quite right.

Then it hit me. Duh! The time Chucky appeared on WCW Monday Nitro!

It's the stuff of legend among wrestling fans, and one of my old pal RD Reynolds's favorite things ever. Seeing something totally ridiculous was not out of the ordinary on any pro-wrestling show, but this was different. This was Chucky. This was Chucky cutting a promo on one of the good guy wrestlers on live television.

The year was 1998. WCW Monday Nitro was still arguably the hottest wrestling show out there, backed by a giant corporation with an enormous budget. After enjoying a few shocking years of ratings victories over the once-unbeatable WWF, the cracks were finally starting to show. The storylines were getting repetitive and the stars were losing steam. Making matters worse, the WWF had finally reinvigorated itself and was poised to retake the wrestling throne for good. It was a situation when every TV show mattered. When every segment had to have a point and a purpose. This was sooo not the time to have random appearances by Chucky.

Here's how it went down:

The unforgettable moment begun as a simple in-ring interview, with "Mean" Gene Okerlund confronting Rick Steiner about his newly-evil brother, Scott. (Formerly, Rick and Scott were an inseparable tag team known as The Steiner Brothers, but Scott went bad and Gene wanted answers.)

Rick was never a great interview. Actually, he was one of the worst. The fans liked him well enough, and he did have the ability to make the most out of seven-syllable "I'ma BEAT you"-type phrases, but an extended interview with Gene was certainly unexpected. We should've known something was up.

So, Gene asks a question, and Rick barely has a chance to best his seven-syllable interview record before...it happens.

Disembodied, ominous laugher fills the arena. Nobody knows where it's coming from, or what it is.

And yet, the laughter was strangely familiar. Viewers had been hearing it for weeks. At random points during WCW shows, this insane cackling would overtake the broadcast. Normally in a case like this, such theatrics would lead to the introduction for a new wrestler. You'd get these mysterious teases for a few weeks, and then wham, some new guy would run out from the back and lay everyone out with crazy supplexes.

Insider fans may have heard rumors, but most viewers (and certainly the majority of those in the arena that night) had every reason to believe that they were about to see the debut of a mysterious new wrestler with a nutty laugh.

Rick and Gene, seasoned thespians that they were, scanned the arena in a forlorn attempt to match the laugh to a face, only stopping short of checking each other's pockets for the source. The laugh continued, growing louder and more frequent. Fans sat on the edge of their seats, ready for the payoff. Who would this laughing mystery man turn out to be? A new wrestler? A familiar face who jumped ship from the WWF? WHO?!!

Well, you probably already know the answer. It was Chucky.

Materializing on the enormous video screen halfway across the arena, CHUCKY HAD ARRIVED. But why?! Over ten years later, and wrestling fans are still trying to answer that question.

The crowd's reaction was surprisingly enthusiastic, but really, the segment bombed before it even begun. There was simply no justification in having Rick Steiner converse with Chucky on WCW Monday Nitro. All across the world, viewers who had anxiously awaited the debut of a new superstar were faced with the unforgivable truth: This whole thing was just some lameass immersive advertising for the Bride of Chucky movie!

Though there was a feeble attempt to make it look like this was a live conversation, it was really just a pre-taped diatribe from Chucky, who berated Gene and Rick mercilessly before shamelessly plugging his new movie.

Chucky brought his best material, but Gene and Rick could not say the same. After verbally piledriving Rick like a hundred times in a row, poor Steiner's possibly ad-libbed retort was one for the ages: "BRING YER RAGGEDY REAR END DOWN HERE....YOU GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY!"

And the best part? Chucky totally no-sold it.

Product placement and in-show advertising had happened on wrestling programs many times before, but this was something else. Why anyone would choose Rick Steiner of all people to carry a segment like this, we may never know. I personally theorize that nobody bothered to tell him that Chucky would be interrupting his interview, and I don't ever want to find out if I'm wrong.

The segment lasted for about four minutes, with Gene and Rick finally leaving the ring in disgust. Chucky's appearance on Nitro is still celebrated today as one of the worst moments in wrestling history, though that's only true if you're a purist who believes that wrestlers who are being pushed as never-say-die heroes should not be bested by talking dolls from horror movies. For us Chucky fans, this was a treat.

I don't know if it'll be up forever (it's not my upload), but for however long it lasts, enjoy this video of the full segment. It's amazing. I <3 Chucky.

Posted by Matt on 09/18/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 100 comments

I haven’t been to Kmart yet. If I strike out there I have a Target about 20 minutes away. It’ll probably be just my luck that after all this time and energy spent searching I’ll find them and not like them. Oh well. I refuse to give up, it’s become a matter of pride.

Chestnuts roasted by ericnrosesmom @ 09/18/2009 10:31 PM


My target (in Chicago) only had regular dots in the actual Halloween section, but a few aisles away near chips and snacks I found boxes of candy corn, bats, and ghosts. There were only 2-3 boxes of each flavor left, so I bought them all. I also bought up all their blood orange Jones soda, and a bunch of decorations with those weird, but kinda cute little monsters. My boyfriend’s going to be so mad at me.

Chestnuts roasted by Colls @ 09/18/2009 10:38 PM


Someone mentioned finding the blood orange dots in Michigan. Where are you? I’m in Indiana about 10 minutes from New Buffalo Mich.

Chestnuts roasted by ericnrosesmom @ 09/18/2009 10:41 PM


I looked for the Chucky shirt today in Times Square. No luck.

Last week I ordered the Halloween 6: Producer’s Cut bootleg (starring Paul Rudd). It is supposedly still shitty, but much better than what they released in theaters. However, I don’t think I’ve actually seen Halloweens 4 & 5 so I’m gonna watch those first before I dive in.

Chestnuts roasted by BUCKLY! @ 09/18/2009 10:51 PM


That was me with the Dots. I’m near Jackson, which is in southern central Michigan. And I found them at the Jackson Walgreens.

Chestnuts roasted by Big McLargehuge @ 09/18/2009 11:07 PM


I don’t know if the Big “Boo” bug is dressed up yet, unfortunately. I should know this weekend.

Also, for beatles, muppets, and halloween fans alike: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfNg484cRCQ

Chestnuts roasted by Cat the Vampire Slayer @ 09/18/2009 11:47 PM


It’s still better than Robocop rescuing Sting.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 09/19/2009 12:03 AM


“After enjoying a few —>shocking<— years of ratings victories over the once-unbeatable WWF, the cracks were finally starting to show."

Matt, this is the second insider wrestling reference you have made, lol, j/k. I just wanted to mention this because I finally got a Shockmaster action figure from my local Toys R Us. Plus Wrestlecrap.com is great, I have been reading that site for many years. Have you read the Wrestlecrap books? It's the only trilogy that can give the Star Wars original trilogy a run for it's money.

Chestnuts roasted by Ultra Magnus 2005 @ 09/19/2009 12:19 AM


That segment was sad. Tsk Tsk WCW. Still, it’s a whole lot better than what WWE is showing now. (I hate John Cena)

Chestnuts roasted by Hazard @ 09/19/2009 1:14 AM


I wish Chucky had been in the ring and the wrestlers fought w/ him like the in Hobgoblins!

Chestnuts roasted by Jtronic @ 09/19/2009 1:51 AM


Like kb, I’ve never been into wrestling that much, but what I’ve heard about all the “theme shows” lately, Chucky definitely seems awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/19/2009 3:12 AM


A few wrestlers that fit with this theme:

http://www.luchawiki.com/index.php/Chucky
http://www.luchawiki.com/index.php/Chucky_(Independent)

Yes, there are not one, but TWO wrestling Child’s Play Dolls in Lucha Libre. Both teamed with a monster masked dude named “Monsther” at some point.

http://www.luchawiki.com/index.php/Jason_el_Terrible
http://www.luchawiki.com/index.php/Leatherface

Two Canadians who’ve gotten over working movie monster gimmicks, these two were super popular in Japan, often teaming (as “The Faces of Death”) or facing off against one another. Rick Patterson is actually the second guy to work the gimmick of Leatherface, having gotten it from Mike “Corporal” Kirschner. I think a couple of different guys have worked as Jason The Terrible.

Brothers Eddie and Doug Gilbert worked as Mike Myers and Freddy Krueger repectively in the Japanese promotion W*NG.

WCW also had the Dungeon of Doom in the early 90′s after they got Hulk Hogan, led by The Taskmaster (Kevin Sullivan as a satanist), The Yeti (tall guy wrapped in TP like a mummy who melted out of a block of ice and dry humped Hulk Hogan), Zodiac (Brutus Beefcake doing gimmick #2246. Did it suck? Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! YES!), Kamala The Ugandan Hobo, The Giant (Paul Wight, AKA The Big Show), among others. It was a pretty big stable.

Chestnuts roasted by steelabjur @ 09/19/2009 4:57 AM


“After enjoying a few >>shocking<< years of ratings victories over the once-unbeatable WWF, the cracks were finally starting to show."

Matt, don't tell me you are going to dress up as the Shockmaster for Halloween??? Anyhow, this is just an excuse to ask you if you have seen the new Shockmaster Action Figure??? Plus have you read the Wrestlecrap Trilogy?? It is one of the few trilogies that can give the Original Star Wars trilogy a run for it's money.

Chestnuts roasted by Ultra Magnus 2005 @ 09/19/2009 5:39 AM


Certainly the best damned moment in WCW history i’ve ever seen.

Chestnuts roasted by BloodMist @ 09/19/2009 8:10 AM


I am here to say that Matt’s analysis is 100% correct. I had been watching NITRO for weeks, being teased with the laugh. It had to be a new wrestler. An ICP or Doink combination or something.
And then…
It was Chucky.
It wassss…Chuckeeee.

And the “go see my new movie” line at the end…sooo shameless.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 09/19/2009 8:25 AM


Avast ye scurvy X-E Dogs! Don’t ye be forgettin today be Talk Like a Pirate Day! Arr!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 09/19/2009 10:48 AM


I was never really that big of a Wrestling fan, but they did have some strange cross promotion back then. Chuckie on WCW? Who would have thought it?

Chestnuts roasted by Palmerholic @ 09/19/2009 11:26 AM


Argh! I be stoppin’ by t’ wish ye all a happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day! May ye have wind in yer sails!

Chestnuts roasted by Capt'n PlantMonster @ 09/19/2009 11:57 AM


Cool video, Cat the Vampire Slayer, but the title said Vincent Price and the Muppets. Vincent Price never showed up!

I’m watching Scream. I’ve always liked those movies…anyone else?

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 09/19/2009 1:49 PM


Wow, i think i was watching this when it was originally on….it definitely was pretty cringe worthy.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/19/2009 2:24 PM


The only thing that tops this is the whole “Robocop Helps Sting Out Of A Jam” crap that WCW laid on everybody way back when.

But this is both terrible and awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike83 @ 09/19/2009 3:21 PM


And yes, Teddy Ray, the Scream movies are ok. The first one is the best to me, though.

Lately I’ve been enjoying more old-school stuff like the original Dawn of The Dead, Evil Dead (the whoooole series) and pretty much all the Friday The 13th flicks.

What a great time of year! Happy Halloween Season to everybody!

Chestnuts roasted by Mike83 @ 09/19/2009 3:24 PM


I watched Scream as well.I remember going to the theatre to see it.Wow!has it been that long?Matt,love the jukebox.The Yeti-I’m doing OK.I’m going to be playing my first show on Oct.24.I’m amped and nervous.We’ll be the opening act for 3 other bands.And maybe going to see Deathklok the following day.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 09/19/2009 4:40 PM


Matt already has a Wrestling Halloween outfit – the Ultimate Warrior outfit that he reviewed (and wore). Funny stuff.

And yes, Rick Steiner challenging a puppet to come down to the ring & fight him was a pretty low moment in WCW’s history.

Chestnuts roasted by Larry @ 09/19/2009 8:30 PM


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