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I’ve developed almost total blindness to the many street vendors near my office, but this one caught my eye. A guy with a table full of crappy “I Love NY” and Michael Jackson memorial t-shirts was also selling, for whatever reason, one lone Chucky t-shirt. I’m assuming it was a bootleg, or at least, I hope it was, as the idea that Child’s Play could inspire bootleg clothing at this late date really warms my soul.

I knew that I was toying with my destiny by not buying it, but I had no cash on me, and street vendors don’t take American Express. I could have hit an ATM, but in the frenzy of conflicting thoughts battering my head at the end of a long day, getting on an earlier bus won out over wasting precious minutes to buy a bootleg Chucky “Wanna Play?” t-shirt.

I make no excuses. It was the wrong decision, and I’ve been bent out of shape over it all night. Worst part is, I just know that if I went back tomorrow, the shirt salesman will be gone and some random peanut vendor will be in his place. Of all the missed opportunities that will keep me up at night for however long I have left, this lost Chucky shirt will forever sting hardest. Damn.

To quell the depression, I knew I had to write about something Chucky-related tonight. Something, anything. I wracked my brain. Chucky’s top ten kills? Top five quips? A rhyming ode to the turkey baster scene from Seed of Chucky? So many options, but none seemed quite right.

Then it hit me. Duh! The time Chucky appeared on WCW Monday Nitro!

It’s the stuff of legend among wrestling fans, and one of my old pal RD Reynolds’s favorite things ever. Seeing something totally ridiculous was not out of the ordinary on any pro-wrestling show, but this was different. This was Chucky. This was Chucky cutting a promo on one of the good guy wrestlers on live television.

The year was 1998. WCW Monday Nitro was still arguably the hottest wrestling show out there, backed by a giant corporation with an enormous budget. After enjoying a few shocking years of ratings victories over the once-unbeatable WWF, the cracks were finally starting to show. The storylines were getting repetitive and the stars were losing steam. Making matters worse, the WWF had finally reinvigorated itself and was poised to retake the wrestling throne for good. It was a situation when every TV show mattered. When every segment had to have a point and a purpose. This was sooo not the time to have random appearances by Chucky.

Here’s how it went down:

The unforgettable moment begun as a simple in-ring interview, with “Mean” Gene Okerlund confronting Rick Steiner about his newly-evil brother, Scott. (Formerly, Rick and Scott were an inseparable tag team known as The Steiner Brothers, but Scott went bad and Gene wanted answers.)

Rick was never a great interview. Actually, he was one of the worst. The fans liked him well enough, and he did have the ability to make the most out of seven-syllable “I’ma BEAT you”-type phrases, but an extended interview with Gene was certainly unexpected. We should’ve known something was up.

So, Gene asks a question, and Rick barely has a chance to best his seven-syllable interview record before…it happens.

Disembodied, ominous laugher fills the arena. Nobody knows where it’s coming from, or what it is.

And yet, the laughter was strangely familiar. Viewers had been hearing it for weeks. At random points during WCW shows, this insane cackling would overtake the broadcast. Normally in a case like this, such theatrics would lead to the introduction for a new wrestler. You’d get these mysterious teases for a few weeks, and then wham, some new guy would run out from the back and lay everyone out with crazy supplexes.

Insider fans may have heard rumors, but most viewers (and certainly the majority of those in the arena that night) had every reason to believe that they were about to see the debut of a mysterious new wrestler with a nutty laugh.

Rick and Gene, seasoned thespians that they were, scanned the arena in a forlorn attempt to match the laugh to a face, only stopping short of checking each other’s pockets for the source. The laugh continued, growing louder and more frequent. Fans sat on the edge of their seats, ready for the payoff. Who would this laughing mystery man turn out to be? A new wrestler? A familiar face who jumped ship from the WWF? WHO?!!

Well, you probably already know the answer. It was Chucky.

Materializing on the enormous video screen halfway across the arena, CHUCKY HAD ARRIVED. But why?! Over ten years later, and wrestling fans are still trying to answer that question.

The crowd’s reaction was surprisingly enthusiastic, but really, the segment bombed before it even begun. There was simply no justification in having Rick Steiner converse with Chucky on WCW Monday Nitro. All across the world, viewers who had anxiously awaited the debut of a new superstar were faced with the unforgivable truth: This whole thing was just some lameass immersive advertising for the Bride of Chucky movie!

Though there was a feeble attempt to make it look like this was a live conversation, it was really just a pre-taped diatribe from Chucky, who berated Gene and Rick mercilessly before shamelessly plugging his new movie.

Chucky brought his best material, but Gene and Rick could not say the same. After verbally piledriving Rick like a hundred times in a row, poor Steiner’s possibly ad-libbed retort was one for the ages: “BRING YER RAGGEDY REAR END DOWN HERE….YOU GOT SOMETHIN’ TO SAY!”

And the best part? Chucky totally no-sold it.

Product placement and in-show advertising had happened on wrestling programs many times before, but this was something else. Why anyone would choose Rick Steiner of all people to carry a segment like this, we may never know. I personally theorize that nobody bothered to tell him that Chucky would be interrupting his interview, and I don’t ever want to find out if I’m wrong.

The segment lasted for about four minutes, with Gene and Rick finally leaving the ring in disgust. Chucky’s appearance on Nitro is still celebrated today as one of the worst moments in wrestling history, though that’s only true if you’re a purist who believes that wrestlers who are being pushed as never-say-die heroes should not be bested by talking dolls from horror movies. For us Chucky fans, this was a treat.

I don’t know if it’ll be up forever (it’s not my upload), but for however long it lasts, enjoy this video of the full segment. It’s amazing. I <3 Chucky.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!