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George’s New Digs.

X-E is the ultimate nostalgia website. Anyway, here's more stuff about my pet crab.

It cost 85 bucks to provide George with an adequate home, and I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. (Though I do admit to buying more decorations than were feasible to fit in his tank, so let's be fair and say 70 bucks. It's still an awful lot of money to spend on such a tiny crab.)

It all went down yesterday night. I was a man obsessed. While at work, I actually sketched out what I wanted the tank to look like, and because I know that sounds made-up, I snapped a pic of the sketch with my phone's shitty camera. It sounds mundane, but it was actually mindblowing action.

We shopped at the same Petland where George was purchased, and the staff kept trying to tell me that the tank he came with was totally fine. Part of me wondered why they were trying to talk us out of spending more money, but it was pretty clear that George needed more than a dinner plate covered in rocks and water to enjoy life. Really, if giant aliens from a distant galaxy scooped me up and kept me in a tank, I'd hope for more than rocks and water.

Researching moon crab habitats is frustrating. Google didn't give me a lot of options, and every new site I came across seemed to contradict the previous. Caring for a moon crab can't be that subjective, can it? I'm sure there's a correct way to go about it, but there's no way to tell which "experts" are on the up and up, and which "experts" are just lameass griefers who get strangers to kill their pet crabs for kicks.

I decided on a middle ground, and built George's home to a hodgepodge of specifications set forth by at least a dozen online strangers who so generously took the time to write random guides on keeping crabs happy.

First up, the floor layer isn't actually sand, but rather a very fine gravel made to look like it. Real sand would've been a better choice, but Petland had none for sale. (I love George, but I'm not going to two stores for him.) Near the back of the tank is George's coconut hut, where he's free to map out his wayward crab schemes in total privacy.

Water is important, even for land crabs. Aside from keeping the sand moist and chewy, I've also provided George with a pool. The pool isn't filled with regular water, but rather with Petland's special "hermit crab water." George isn't a hermit crab, but I must assume that hermit crab water is better for him than people water. PS, if you think shit like Dasani is expensive, get a load of hermit crab water: $5 for an eight ounce bottle.

There's also a little bit of fencing held up by suction cups, so George can give into his primal instincts and climb around. He may be disappointed to learn that the fence doesn't actually lead anywhere, but truth be told, this probably isn't an issue...because George does not move at all. He is a stationary crab.

I have to admit, I'm a little concerned. George hasn't really moved since we got him. I mean, he has, but only when I've made it impossible for him not to do so. He hasn't eaten, either. And it can't be that I'm not feeding him the right foods, because I've tried feeding him every possible type of food, except maybe grapes.

When I can encourage George to move, he does it well enough. His legs are in working order. (Except for the one that's missing, which we just noticed tonight.) George has spent the past 48 hours doing about as much as a dead crab would do, and I'm guessing that this isn't optimum.

Some of the sites on moon crabs claim that they're "very active," and yeah, there are even several YouTube videos that seem to purport this claim. Maybe he just needs more time to adjust?

Then again, it's possible that this is just how George is. He seems relatively healthy, except for the missing leg. Maybe he's just a laid back, take-it-as-it-comes kind of crab? Bleh, this is obviously my punishment for naming him after the most passive character in Gremlins 2.

MI CRO WAF

Enjoy your new Craborama, George. Please do tricks for me tomorrow?

Posted by Matt on 06/11/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 183 comments

Rev. You are a fascinating creature and I adore your habitat.

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 06/12/2009 11:14 AM

Let’s discuss $5/ 8 oz special water. No. There’s no way that’s necessary. Crabs need their water to be clean with a little salt. They sell bags of salt or conditioners for hermit crabs that treat lots of water and is way more cost effective.

Also, it might excite you to learn that not only are these guys nocturnal but they’re also social. Maybe George needs a friend.

Try Googling Gecarcinus quadratus, George’s Latin name, for better info. Also, Petland sucks. You can Google that as well for more information as to why.

Chestnuts roasted by Melissa @ 06/12/2009 11:31 AM

Poor George doesn’t feel like moving around. Then again maybe he’s moving around when you’re not looking and he’s just teasing you. :P

Chestnuts roasted by Palmerholic @ 06/12/2009 11:32 AM

I luv the sketch you did of George’s dream tank, especially the little drawing of him in the corner. I think George deserves his own comic. Maybe a “Ghost with the Most” crossover. :-D

Chestnuts roasted by Dan the man @ 06/12/2009 11:39 AM

I hereby appoint Melissa “Master Crab-Monger, Keeper of Claws, Soothsayer of Shellfish, Knowledge Holder of the Great Deeps”!

Huzzah!

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 06/12/2009 11:47 AM

Matt,

Based on 30 seconds of googling, they are nocturnal creatures who like at least 80 degree temps! It is too bright and cold in there with your paltry 65-75 human temperatures.

Give him a heat lamp foo! It is critical to his immune system and metabolism

Chestnuts roasted by MrTroy @ 06/12/2009 12:04 PM

there is a whole website it seems dedicated to the horrors of Petland. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Michelle @ 06/12/2009 12:13 PM

Ghost With The Most (sigh)…I miss him.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 06/12/2009 12:21 PM

Aw, poor guy, not having all his legs and being all stationery. I think I’ll cry if he doesn’t make it. As the Japanese would say, ganbatte, George!

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 06/12/2009 12:24 PM

Petland’s fish department has the highest percentage of apparently half-eaten fish of any fish store I’ve ever been to.

But they do have novelty crabs.

Score one for Petland.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 06/12/2009 12:42 PM

Well, if George dies from inactivity, at least you have a kick ass tank to put some other creature in.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/12/2009 1:35 PM

Looks like he needs some entertainment, how about the Ring Toss” and “Strong Man Game” Circus Toys ? :)

Chestnuts roasted by Water Sucks, Gatorade Rules! @ 06/12/2009 2:04 PM

I’m going to the pet store tonight to get me one of them imitation Rev. pets. It’s not as good as the original, but I’ll be pretty happy with my own Rev in any capacity.

I have the habitat all set up, although it’s more appropriately referred to as a “Study”. I have tiny versions of many classic books in a fine miniature oak bookshelf, a specially-made miniature leather chair (dark red), a hanging bottle filled with spiced rum and another with aged whiskey, and a dish of lovely cigars. The walls all have an early Victorian wallprint with oak paneling. There’s even a small fireplace and a tiny harpsichord in case she gets bored!

I’ll post pictures of her curled up on the itty bitty Polar Bear rug as soon as I get her home and settled in!

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 06/12/2009 2:06 PM

Well that certainly would explain alot. Because to be honest Matt, when you first posted a pic of George, he looked too awesomely fake to be real.

Hope things work out alright for you & George.

P.S. Message me, I’ve got something you might be interested to know about.

Chestnuts roasted by toastedslipers @ 06/12/2009 2:19 PM

Two things I know about crabs (besides being tasty):

1. If George is about to molt, then it’s a first step to regaining the lost leg. Crustaceans use the molting process to regrow lost limbs. A couple sheddings, and he should be back to scuttling marathons..

2. When you’re not looking, he transforms into a tiny TransMetal tank (ie Beast Wars Rampage) and baja-buggys ’round the C.R.A.B.-itat. He probably wants to be the founding member of the Nitro Circus Petting Zoo.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/12/2009 2:19 PM

It’s almost frightening how well you’ve defined my ideal surroundings, Morfnblorsh. Just don’t forget to stock your Rev’s envinronment with lots of subversive literature and tiny little weapons, and she’ll feel right at home.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 06/12/2009 2:22 PM

DJ D, colds in the summer suck chicken assholes. You live in SC? Do you get any deer ticks there? I can’t help but think of Lyme disease when I hear about someone getting flu-like symptoms in the summer. If you find any round, dark red and purplish bullseye rashes on yourself, get to a dr. for antibiotics. They test regularly for it around here (the disease is named after a CT town about 30 miles from here), but Mr. Traj’s aunt had the hardest time getting her Dr. to test for it in VA. She actually had the first positive Lyme disease result in that hospital’s history, but you never know.

Matt, did George eat the confetti when he had it? Maybe he’s been raised on it and doesn’t realize the fruit is food. That was my conclusion for my bettas and their indifference to the fish food I finally sprinkled in there. How deep is his water? I agree that he probably needs like half water/half sand to be happy. I also read that they like to burrow in the sand, so maybe the gravelly stuff isn’t fine enough to keep his gills moist? Did you get a new tank or did you use the old fish tank? Also, our garter snake, Bob, stops eating and moving, pretty much, right before he sheds his skin. His eyes turn all cloudy-blue, too. Have you found anything about crab molting and what to expect? Did you ever end up checking the library for info?

Teddy Ray, congrats on Delilah! Do you have any pictures?

I posted in the other thread yesterday but it never showed up. Anyway, my poor kitty, Candy, is sick. She was just laying around for two days, and then I noticed she had peed on the floor and it was brown. When we bought her to the vet yesterday, she had 104.8 degree fever (I couldn’t even tell she was warm – poor baby!). So they kept her overnight and, as of last calling, her fever went down to 104.0 – not much of a drop. They’re trying to get her to pee so they can test her for a UTI, but she refuses so far. How long do kitty antibiotic usually take? We can’t afford any more tests, so if it’s not a UTI, I don’t know what to do. Glass half-empty Mr. Traj assumes that the cat is dying and refuses to spend anymore bill money, only to have her put to sleep. He thinks she has FIV or some other 3 letter disease, so she’s going to die anyway. Nice, huh? At least I have my new Guinea Pig to keep my mind off of the cat for now.

“When life’s never dull, wear a hull for your skull.” -Phineas Flynn

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/12/2009 3:07 PM

Here’s hoping George comes around. Maybe he just needs to experience an XE SNT to Liven Up!

Chestnuts roasted by Gregor @ 06/12/2009 3:24 PM

I don’t know how helpful this will be for George, but I thought I’d put it up anyway:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gecarcinus_quadratus

Chestnuts roasted by Thomas @ 06/12/2009 4:15 PM

slick316- Brawndo? The Thirst Mutilator?

Morfnblorsh- Can I move into that habitat too?

Everyone else- Does anyone suspect that the crab IS fake, and that Matt is simply turning into another version of Norman Bates?

“We have a special visitor, George. Don’t pinch him like you did last time…”

Chestnuts roasted by PlantMonster @ 06/12/2009 4:53 PM

George will make it, dammet!

I will cry like a little girl if he kicks teh bukkit.
really.

Chestnuts roasted by kittymao @ 06/12/2009 5:17 PM

If YMCA don’t work, there’s always Jackie Wilson. If you don’t mind G-Crab dancing like a toaster.

Personally, I want a colony of Sand Kings.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/12/2009 5:30 PM

Ugh, I just clicked the blueprint link and got my ass kicked by comedy. So good. If it dies, just quietly replace it so I don’t get depressed.

Chestnuts roasted by Bartleby @ 06/12/2009 5:34 PM

trajeal: Yeah, we do get a lot of ticks. Don’t know whether they’re deer ticks or not though. Lyme disease does happen around here, but I’ve never known anyone personally who’s had it. I try to keep any eye out for ticks. Mosquitoes are a much bigger problem though. Well, that and this fever I can’t kick. I feel much worse today than I did yesterday and I’m supposed to go out of town and help my dad move tomorrow. Ugh. I’m sure that’s going to be a LOT of fun.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 06/12/2009 5:43 PM

DJ D, are your joints achy on top of the fever? Deer ticks are tiny – Here’s a picture of one, to show how tiny they are compared to regular dog ticks. They don’t get very big, even when attached and full, so you could have had one on you and you never even felt it. My daughter had one on her shin and we never saw it. We only knew it was there when we saw the rash. Sometimes, if the tick is in your hair, you’ll never even see the rash, although sometimes (like in the case of mmy daughter) the rash shows up in different places all over the body (she had six different bullseye rashes). If it is Lyme, make sure you get antibiotics, and make sure you get no less than four weeks worth, or the spirochete won’t be completely killed off. Lyme disease can cause all kinds of nerve and heart damage if left untreated, and it can take weeks for the first symptoms to show up after the initial tick bite.
Not to scare you or anything – I’m a bit paranoid after my own kid got it w/o us ever seeing the tick itself. Good luck w/ your dad and moving furniture in the million degree heat while feeling like total dogshit. I feel for you.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/12/2009 6:41 PM

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