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I suppose the growing rumors of my demise and the 72 MySQL errors littering the site mean that I should probably, uh, write something.

As for why I haven't posted -- that's a loaded question. A short break turned into a long one would be the simple answer. A longer answer would involve descriptions of the changing landscape of the industry I work in, and the copious amount of extra effort it's taken to remain vital within it. It's a personal journey and a boring story, totally unsuited to becoming a major motion picture, but the point of it is that the past several months have been so loaded with responsibilities that, bluntly put, I maxed out and couldn't handle another.

I would never dare to say that writing about junk food and Krang is an outright responsibility, chore, job or anything of the sort, but there just came a point where if I had a free moment, I wanted to spend it privately. Being a go-getter is not my nature; I am, at heart, a lazy slug. But if I had to pretend otherwise, it could only be for 8 (or 9, or 12) hours a day. Not 24. I'd make a terrible Behrooz.

Then again, I guess it's not brain surgery to package crap up all pretty like.

immat the library, do u no why??

my books r dewback lol

Anyway, finally, things are settling down, and I'm getting the itch back. I have big grand plans, but I can't tell you about them, because if I break another site-related promise, I'd likely turn up dead. But, let's roll the dice and try this much:

This Saturday, I will write about something. And you will tell me what that something is. Your options are:

A) Matt spends $25 at a Dollar Tree or some other such store, and describes his purchases. I've done it before, but not for years, and the statute of limitations has gotta be working in my favor by now.

B) Matt gets a new pet and writes about it. Don't get your hopes up, I'm not buying a dog just to have something to write about. But it will be something alive.

C) Matt tries to find his collection of Kool-Aid; if he succeeds, he reviews a new flavor.

D) Matt builds a robot using only the materials available in his kitchen junk drawer.

I really hope you don't pick "D."

Okay, for the twelve of you who still read X-E, please, choose my adventure!

Posted by Matt on 05/26/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 403 comments

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Either A or C… useless dollar store brand junk or Kool-Aid always sits better than “The Boring Adventures of Hermes the Hermit Crab” or Fork-Bot 4000 for me.

Chestnuts roasted by Class3KillStorm @ 05/27/2009 6:11 PM


I also vote A becuase for some reason your dollar stores carries more interesting stuff than ours. Or it could be my imagination and you’re such a great writer that you can make the most boring item in the world seem like the most exciting and make us want to buy it. You’re like a pop culture Oprah.

I do have another suggestion of what to do with that 25 bucks. You can buy that new “Saturday Morning Cartoons of the 70s” DVD I’ve been seeing ads for and review those.

Chestnuts roasted by KING JLA @ 05/27/2009 6:27 PM


Carp from dollar tree! Carp from dollar tree! You will be better than Leno!

Chestnuts roasted by Tresjolie9 @ 05/27/2009 6:31 PM


Voted A…….always my favorite articles. It’s like several small articles in one.

A.) SEVERAL PICS AND POSTS OF CHEAP AWESOMENESS!!

B.) I bought a hamster/snake. It is furry/scaly. Its been sitting there for a few hours so I guess the article ends here

C.)KOOL-AID packet I will end up Googling for hours to find out more about and see what Matt is referring to (Mother never bought kool-aid :-( )

D.) I built this. This is what I used. This is a picture. I was trying to make it look like X but it came out looking like Y.

Chestnuts roasted by Charlie LXXVI @ 05/27/2009 7:17 PM


I vote for D.
However, if that’s not realistic, I would like B. Sounds more personal which = more better.
I’m so glad you’re back!

Chestnuts roasted by Faith @ 05/27/2009 7:39 PM


I choose A…welcome back, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Whatsisface @ 05/27/2009 7:43 PM


Get creative with the robot!! Scissors, plastic bottles, bendy straws and sticky back plastic = Hoorays!

Chestnuts roasted by Petey @ 05/27/2009 7:52 PM


Petey: Matt could pretend he’s Macgyver and build a robot out of rubber bands and paperclips that saves the earth from homicidal whales or something.

Actually, I’d probably read that article. :)

Chestnuts roasted by fuyoutakai @ 05/27/2009 8:11 PM


B of C, but id favor C cause it sounds (ye) ole skool. thanks for surviving your work load to make it back here!

Chestnuts roasted by dphunkt @ 05/27/2009 8:13 PM


Holy crap, definitely A! A!

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 05/27/2009 8:22 PM


A on the basis that you can find some pretty strange stuff, and with 25 dollars, an abundance of such.

Now, if I may enter into lands that are borderline homosexual, i shall say the following: Long have the days been where I come here to look for a sign of hope, today I got one. It put a smile on my face to see ya back Matt.

That being said, I have to wrestle a bear to get my masculinity back

Chestnuts roasted by Precursor @ 05/27/2009 8:39 PM


Wow, you’re back!

A sounds like the most fun to read. :D

Chestnuts roasted by PurPanther @ 05/27/2009 8:40 PM


D!

Glad to hear from you again, Matt. I always liked the articles where you went somewhere and wrote about it, not just about certain products so I’d like to say (A) if it includes witty remarks of your journeys. Sure, you can find pics of pretty much any place on the internet but your observations and style of writing makes it totally an immersible experience to read.

Chestnuts roasted by Anonymous @ 05/27/2009 8:45 PM


I was at the thrift store today and totally saw something that reminded me of Matt….a video tape called Dancin Grannies.

It was like a workout video for old women. I thought of getting it for like 50 cents and sending it to him. Review potential with legendary hilarious possibilities

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 05/27/2009 8:48 PM


hee hee, I love Matt :)

I vote D

Chestnuts roasted by venison @ 05/27/2009 8:48 PM


Well, A is always a fun option, but…

D!!! That’s awesome!

Chestnuts roasted by BritMike @ 05/27/2009 9:12 PM


A! A! A!

Nothing like the assorted junk features. They are my favorite.

Chestnuts roasted by CiCe @ 05/27/2009 9:14 PM


Sorry I’m late to the party. Understood completely about being busy. I spent more than half my Memorial Day weekend at the grocery store where I work, thanks to the massive crowds. I’d better have made some decent money off of that.

I’m also going to side with A. It’s easier to do than trying to build a robot or dig out ancient Kool Aid, and your “buy random stuff from a cool store” articles are always fun.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 05/27/2009 9:38 PM


heh… I am really glad you’re okay by the way… I dont talk often enough here, but i’ve been lurking for what seems an eternity…. and Im just glad to see you’re still alive

Chestnuts roasted by SerialPsychosis @ 05/27/2009 9:40 PM


I’ll vote A.

The last time you did that it was an awesome review.

Good too see you back on the site. :-)

Chestnuts roasted by Spike_85 @ 05/27/2009 9:49 PM


Holy Smokes!

I’ve spent the last week out of town, cut off from any kind of internet access, and couldn’t wait to come back and check in, in hopes that there was something new…and look at what we have! I just got back into town and a few minutes ago I walked in the door, turned on the computer, and it’s a Festivus Miracle! I should go out of town more often…

My vote goes for D. Because…

1) As evidenced by my name, I just like the letter.

And…

2) I think it’s Matt’s penance for keeping us hanging for so long.

Aw, fudge it. I’m just happy to get anything. Go with A. I’m sure it’ll be great either way.

Oh yeah, and I agree with Darth Galvatron and Dan. All the trolls, naysayers, and “this site, sucks, I’m not ever coming here anymore, Matt’s abandoned us, wha, wha, wha” whiners are now free to gingerly suck it.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 05/27/2009 10:08 PM


Once you’re back in the swing of things, I’d like to suggest an investigative piece for you to pursue: Whatever became of dohopoki??? If my memory serves, he disappeared during some mysterious postings in the midst of last year’s Summer Mega-Party. First he stopped posting, then the blogusical got funky, and then he was gone without a trace… I feel like all of us who were involved in searching for the X-E Code of the Megaparty were somehow responsible for this mystery.

Chestnuts roasted by Saint @ 05/27/2009 10:09 PM


Definitely “A”….

…but Then We Need a New Kool Aid Post!!!

Welcome Back, Matt.

We Missed You.

Chestnuts roasted by The Boogeyman @ 05/27/2009 10:10 PM


a

Chestnuts roasted by Diego @ 05/27/2009 10:13 PM


Dollar Tree for the win!

Thrilled to have you back, Matt. The old new thread was getting pretty stanky.

So how is everyone lately? I’m in Reno for a few. So far it doesn’t seem to have as many goofy licensed slots as Vegas does (no Showtime Rotisserie Grill slot machines), but I haven’t been here long yet. Long enough to lose a 20 spot to the Star Wars slots, though. All too easy.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/27/2009 10:16 PM


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