I suppose the growing rumors of my demise and the 72 MySQL errors littering the site mean that I should probably, uh, write something.
As for why I haven’t posted — that’s a loaded question. A short break turned into a long one would be the simple answer. A longer answer would involve descriptions of the changing landscape of the industry I work in, and the copious amount of extra effort it’s taken to remain vital within it. It’s a personal journey and a boring story, totally unsuited to becoming a major motion picture, but the point of it is that the past several months have been so loaded with responsibilities that, bluntly put, I maxed out and couldn’t handle another.
I would never dare to say that writing about junk food and Krang is an outright responsibility, chore, job or anything of the sort, but there just came a point where if I had a free moment, I wanted to spend it privately. Being a go-getter is not my nature; I am, at heart, a lazy slug. But if I had to pretend otherwise, it could only be for 8 (or 9, or 12) hours a day. Not 24. I’d make a terrible Behrooz.
Then again, I guess it’s not brain surgery to package crap up all pretty like.
immat the library, do u no why??
my books r dewback lol
Anyway, finally, things are settling down, and I’m getting the itch back. I have big grand plans, but I can’t tell you about them, because if I break another site-related promise, I’d likely turn up dead. But, let’s roll the dice and try this much:
This Saturday, I will write about something. And you will tell me what that something is. Your options are:
A) Matt spends $25 at a Dollar Tree or some other such store, and describes his purchases. I’ve done it before, but not for years, and the statute of limitations has gotta be working in my favor by now.
B) Matt gets a new pet and writes about it. Don’t get your hopes up, I’m not buying a dog just to have something to write about. But it will be something alive.
C) Matt tries to find his collection of Kool-Aid; if he succeeds, he reviews a new flavor.
D) Matt builds a robot using only the materials available in his kitchen junk drawer.
I really hope you don’t pick “D.”
Okay, for the twelve of you who still read X-E, please, choose my adventure!
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
Talk about excellent people watching. 
You could also use the 25 bucks to buy a pet and have it fight the Kool-Aid Man and a robot in a triple threat match.
Or buy the pet and turn it into a cyborg that runs on Kool-Aid batteries.