X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment UGO
You are all doomed. Why not surrender? We might let you live.

05/26/2009: 88.1873006730561

I suppose the growing rumors of my demise and the 72 MySQL errors littering the site mean that I should probably, uh, write something.

As for why I haven’t posted — that’s a loaded question. A short break turned into a long one would be the simple answer. A longer answer would involve descriptions of the changing landscape of the industry I work in, and the copious amount of extra effort it’s taken to remain vital within it. It’s a personal journey and a boring story, totally unsuited to becoming a major motion picture, but the point of it is that the past several months have been so loaded with responsibilities that, bluntly put, I maxed out and couldn’t handle another.

I would never dare to say that writing about junk food and Krang is an outright responsibility, chore, job or anything of the sort, but there just came a point where if I had a free moment, I wanted to spend it privately. Being a go-getter is not my nature; I am, at heart, a lazy slug. But if I had to pretend otherwise, it could only be for 8 (or 9, or 12) hours a day. Not 24. I’d make a terrible Behrooz.

Then again, I guess it’s not brain surgery to package crap up all pretty like.

immat the library, do u no why??

my books r dewback lol

Anyway, finally, things are settling down, and I’m getting the itch back. I have big grand plans, but I can’t tell you about them, because if I break another site-related promise, I’d likely turn up dead. But, let’s roll the dice and try this much:

This Saturday, I will write about something. And you will tell me what that something is. Your options are:

A) Matt spends $25 at a Dollar Tree or some other such store, and describes his purchases. I’ve done it before, but not for years, and the statute of limitations has gotta be working in my favor by now.

B) Matt gets a new pet and writes about it. Don’t get your hopes up, I’m not buying a dog just to have something to write about. But it will be something alive.

C) Matt tries to find his collection of Kool-Aid; if he succeeds, he reviews a new flavor.

D) Matt builds a robot using only the materials available in his kitchen junk drawer.

I really hope you don’t pick “D.”

Okay, for the twelve of you who still read X-E, please, choose my adventure!


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 402 comments

A

Got to be A, those were some of the best.

Ghosted by Grey Weirdo @ 05/28/2009 9:07 AM EDT


Summer has started. I vote for A! I love dollar tree shopping sprees

Ghosted by fireballislandsurvivor @ 05/28/2009 9:38 AM EDT


Pick D! Make sure it has a lazer cannon.

Honestly though I miss your adventures in drinking extremely old Koolaid. C.

Ghosted by Zoe @ 05/28/2009 10:01 AM EDT


I’d go with A.

Good to know you’re still around, Matt!

Ghosted by Papa_Taz @ 05/28/2009 10:08 AM EDT


I like option A. You do great articles that would otherwise be junk to the average joe!!

Ghosted by Jeffininer @ 05/28/2009 10:43 AM EDT


(A)

But while your shopping at the Dollar Store and reviewing your new treasure you should be drinking Kool-Aid, it will enhance the experience. I’d go with Sharkleberryfin or Purplesaurus Rex, if neither are available just go with classic cherry.

Ghosted by Fox @ 05/28/2009 10:45 AM EDT


Dolla Dolla Tree, y’all.

A!

“Say A, Bobo.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Ghosted by Berdo @ 05/28/2009 10:55 AM EDT


I, for one, vote C.

Welcome back Matt!

Ghosted by Jeremy @ 05/28/2009 11:20 AM EDT


I vote A from a thrift or dollar store – I love your “look at this glorious crap!” articles! :)

Ghosted by Silvertongue @ 05/28/2009 11:25 AM EDT


B!

Ghosted by north dakota matt @ 05/28/2009 11:26 AM EDT


Choose your own adventure! OK, I’ll follow the knight into the dungeon. Let’s see where that goes…AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! Go back! Go back! See Lois? I still had my hand on the page! It didn’t count! It didn’t count!

I’ll go with choice A.

Ghosted by Larry @ 05/28/2009 11:44 AM EDT


I vote for the Dollar Tree. Seems like that would be the most entertaining (and longest entry).

You should do a “serious” entry about trying to stay vital in your industry. I’m experiencing similar things and would be interested in your thoughts.

Ghosted by 4-LOM @ 05/28/2009 12:00 PM EDT


My vote is a big fat D. Seriously, it could be X-E gold.

But if it’s unlikely to happen, second choice would be reliable old A.

Ghosted by Jay Firestorm @ 05/28/2009 12:11 PM EDT


Hmmm, I guess I’ll go with A only because you hoped I wouldn’t choose D.

Ghosted by Lucky @ 05/28/2009 12:35 PM EDT


A I love that store!

Ghosted by JillS @ 05/28/2009 12:39 PM EDT


Is anyone keeping track of the votes?

Seems like A is winning, but D might be close.

Can’t believe TRU bought FAO. Wasn’t TRU bankrupt just a few years ago?

Ghosted by Darth Galvatron @ 05/28/2009 12:43 PM EDT


(E)

Congo Action Figure Review!!!

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 05/28/2009 12:54 PM EDT


A

Ghosted by Ford @ 05/28/2009 1:03 PM EDT


C. KOOL-AID!

Ghosted by I love Kool-Aid @ 05/28/2009 1:29 PM EDT


as much as I love new cute critters (I can totally see Matt getting a hairless rat… ) I think getting Matt back into the spirit of things requires a Dollar Store Trip!

Go with A, with B as a fallback if A doesn’t conjure awesomeness.

Ghosted by kittymao @ 05/28/2009 1:57 PM EDT


I’ve been reading this site for…God…who knows how long now? I stopped reading it for a while when the updates slowed, and life caught up with me (work more hours, new house, yadda yadda yadda), but I’m glad to see it’s still going. This is definitely one of my favorite all time sites. Thanks Matt!

As for everyone else, HI! Long time reader, first time commenter, haha.

And for the record, I vote A. Grab bags are hella-good times.

Ghosted by RandomZero @ 05/28/2009 2:46 PM EDT


A) Matt spends $25 at a Dollar Tree or some other such store, and describes his purchases. I’ve done it before, but not for years, and the statute of limitations has gotta be working in my favor by now.

Sounds like a plan!

Ghosted by Daniel L. @ 05/28/2009 3:26 PM EDT


I’m thinking I’m the first person so far to ask this, but does anybody know what 88.1873006730561 is supposed to be? Did I just totally miss something? It’s probably something obvious and I’m sure I’ll feel like an idiot when I find out.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 05/28/2009 3:42 PM EDT


Definitely A!

Ghosted by Maxm @ 05/28/2009 3:43 PM EDT


I don’t know what 88.1873006730561 means either, so don’t feel bad.

Ghosted by Maxm @ 05/28/2009 3:54 PM EDT


I vote A! Glad to see you Matt!

Ghosted by Big McLargehuge @ 05/28/2009 4:14 PM EDT


88.1873006730561 is the square root of 7777. Don’t know if that’s where Matt got it from or not.

Ghosted by Saint @ 05/28/2009 4:19 PM EDT


All this talk of going on a Dollar Store shopping spree, has made me want to go on one myself. Luckily I have 3 to choose from. But then again,I guess I could go to all 3 of them.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 05/28/2009 4:24 PM EDT


I seem to like the Honk’s 99 compared to the Dolla tree, but they are both by far better than Family Dollar!
It’s not even really a dollar store!

Honk’s 88 cent Tuesdays for the win!=)
(Whatever happened to the pranks behind the counter?? I haven’t seen them in like 15 years)

Ghosted by Burninfresh (formely LGKA) @ 05/28/2009 4:35 PM EDT


Saint:

Thanks for that. Now I got gawtdamm Hssxlllo all stuck in my head again…

Ghosted by kittymao @ 05/28/2009 4:40 PM EDT


Thanks, Saint. That makes sense.

Man, my Advent-urer skills have gotten rusty.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 05/28/2009 4:43 PM EDT


That Dewback looks like it’s wearing a customer service headset.

Ghosted by tanta07 @ 05/28/2009 4:47 PM EDT


BBBBBBBBBBB!

Ghosted by tania @ 05/28/2009 5:16 PM EDT


A absolutely!!!!!!! so freakin glad ur back Matt! Was startin to get the why the hell isn’t he posting blues!

Ghosted by Punkass1 @ 05/28/2009 5:27 PM EDT


I vote for the Dollar Tree thing.

Ghosted by Jerrod @ 05/28/2009 5:36 PM EDT


A A A A A!

I love your old posts about blowing cash at the dollar store. I go back and read them from time to time, for a smile, and rereading things is really rare for me.

Ghosted by Stephanie @ 05/28/2009 6:17 PM EDT


My vote goes to “A” as well. Glad you’re getting the X-E desire back again, Matt. More X-E desire means a better chance of me getting that Nightmare on Elm Street set that Pool O’ Lantern won.

Ghosted by Senor Booyah @ 05/28/2009 6:23 PM EDT


DJD and kittymao
If I really wanted to get some people worked up, I could mention that in January, Matt said he would would finish a certain project which shall not be named “after I finish working on my robot”. Maybe he really wanted everyone to vote for D so that he would have to finish working on his robot and be forced to confront that other touchy issue…

Ghosted by Saint @ 05/28/2009 6:28 PM EDT


You are a human and deserve a life and me time. As a fellow lazy slug, I totally understand. For what it is worth, I always knew you would be back and I’m glad you are.

I vote “A”.

Ghosted by Dane @ 05/28/2009 6:45 PM EDT


I say A but pick some crazy story like the .88¢ story in AC

Ghosted by matt @ 05/28/2009 6:46 PM EDT


Gimme A! I need to know what to do with MY $25! Exclamation Point!

A!

For my birthday my dad got me a label maker… I like it, its totally awesome and random, and now I can label all my stuff. But I so want to know what his thought process was to come up with a label maker.

Ghosted by goblin22 @ 05/28/2009 6:47 PM EDT


D would be my first choice because I can totally relate to that, but I know how you could put the awesomest twist on A:
It’s a bootleg hunt!
QUite simply, you search your local Dollar Generals and Dollar Trees for all the “engrish toys” you can find, like this: http://trsrockin.com/engrish.html
Do not purchase them. That’s just feeding the machine.

Ghosted by TheUltamate @ 05/28/2009 6:58 PM EDT


Wow, I can’t believe there is a post! I’ve decided to only check on my days off and I’m so glad there’s a glimmer of hope Matt will be continuing this epic journey of fundum. I’ve been addicted to this site since Matt bought it from X-Wrestling.com lol. And cannot stop coming here. Oh and BTW, I pick A!!!

Ghosted by Mugzy @ 05/28/2009 6:59 PM EDT


i must insist upon “d”

Ghosted by josh @ 05/28/2009 6:59 PM EDT


Okay Saint, I’m not sure whether to love you or hate you.

I will fucking BUILD Matt a robot just to find out what happened to my loverly Hssxlllo.

Ghosted by kittymao @ 05/28/2009 7:02 PM EDT


A!!! I love those!

Ghosted by Jade @ 05/28/2009 7:07 PM EDT


C or D

Ghosted by abiusa @ 05/28/2009 7:17 PM EDT


Ok, I’ve asked this twice now. Someone PLEASE explain Behrooz!

Ghosted by ericnrosesmom @ 05/28/2009 7:21 PM EDT


my vote is for A

Ghosted by michelle @ 05/28/2009 7:25 PM EDT


Actually,I assumed that 88.1873006730561 was the precent that X-E was back from the dead,but I could be wrong.

Ghosted by Lottie_of_Millhaven @ 05/28/2009 7:32 PM EDT


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