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I suppose the growing rumors of my demise and the 72 MySQL errors littering the site mean that I should probably, uh, write something.

As for why I haven't posted -- that's a loaded question. A short break turned into a long one would be the simple answer. A longer answer would involve descriptions of the changing landscape of the industry I work in, and the copious amount of extra effort it's taken to remain vital within it. It's a personal journey and a boring story, totally unsuited to becoming a major motion picture, but the point of it is that the past several months have been so loaded with responsibilities that, bluntly put, I maxed out and couldn't handle another.

I would never dare to say that writing about junk food and Krang is an outright responsibility, chore, job or anything of the sort, but there just came a point where if I had a free moment, I wanted to spend it privately. Being a go-getter is not my nature; I am, at heart, a lazy slug. But if I had to pretend otherwise, it could only be for 8 (or 9, or 12) hours a day. Not 24. I'd make a terrible Behrooz.

Then again, I guess it's not brain surgery to package crap up all pretty like.

immat the library, do u no why??

my books r dewback lol

Anyway, finally, things are settling down, and I'm getting the itch back. I have big grand plans, but I can't tell you about them, because if I break another site-related promise, I'd likely turn up dead. But, let's roll the dice and try this much:

This Saturday, I will write about something. And you will tell me what that something is. Your options are:

A) Matt spends $25 at a Dollar Tree or some other such store, and describes his purchases. I've done it before, but not for years, and the statute of limitations has gotta be working in my favor by now.

B) Matt gets a new pet and writes about it. Don't get your hopes up, I'm not buying a dog just to have something to write about. But it will be something alive.

C) Matt tries to find his collection of Kool-Aid; if he succeeds, he reviews a new flavor.

D) Matt builds a robot using only the materials available in his kitchen junk drawer.

I really hope you don't pick "D."

Okay, for the twelve of you who still read X-E, please, choose my adventure!

Posted by Matt on 05/26/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 403 comments

My vote goes to Kool-Aid. You gottsta put them Thirsties in they place!

Welcome back, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Thorzul @ 05/27/2009 2:06 AM


Gotta vote for “A” here! The $100 Toys R Us Shopping Spree mini-series from last(?) year was great. I imagine a bag stuffed with $25 worth of Dollar Tree crap will be just as fun.

Chestnuts roasted by Jon @ 05/27/2009 2:10 AM


Matt: Glad to have you back! I am voting for option A. It would be perfect on several levels. 1. It would feel just like the old days 2. If need be it could turn into multiple posts with minimum effort and 3. Nothing beats random dollar tree shit! LOL Welcome Back!

Chestnuts roasted by slick316 @ 05/27/2009 2:18 AM


“C” would seem like a good article, but I think “A” would be more interesting. Buy $25 worth of Kool-aid and make it all in a tank or something!

Chestnuts roasted by FOAME @ 05/27/2009 2:51 AM


dollar tree i guess. kool aid would be great if you can find your collection.

Chestnuts roasted by silverlovingcup @ 05/27/2009 2:52 AM


I really hope choices A and D come together like Voltron… the Voltron of weird plastic toy farm animals and bottle openers.

Chestnuts roasted by vicodinvacation @ 05/27/2009 3:04 AM


Oh man! A or B for sure. Whatever has more points at the end (over C or D). A has the most potential for a long and awesome article, but B has the most potential for novelty/regret. Either way, I’m pumped! :D

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 05/27/2009 3:06 AM


I vote A. Especially if you find stuff that has bad translation grammar or incorrect packaging and merchandise. (I.E. Superman Figure in a Batman Package.) Both on one package is a win-win.

Matt, could we make it so that if anyone votes for the unrealistic D, it’s an automatic vote for A? I wanna see Dollar Store crap, and the comments you’re likely to come up with.

Good to see you take a break with your fans, away from the horrors of the working world. Love the site! :)

Chestnuts roasted by fuyoutakai @ 05/27/2009 3:06 AM


“Buy $25 worth of Kool-aid and make it all in a tank or something!”

FOAME, I think I love you. Then Matt could throw a party.
A, “Guess How Many Flavors is in This Tank” Party.

Chestnuts roasted by fuyoutakai @ 05/27/2009 3:09 AM


A all the way! Grab-baggy articles like that always bring out some of the best (read – weird as all hell!) crap that everyone on XE loves so much!!

Chestnuts roasted by divechaz @ 05/27/2009 3:23 AM


Option A sounds like fun. You always find cool stuff to write about.

Chestnuts roasted by Hope @ 05/27/2009 3:27 AM


Fuck yeah dude! Welcome back, Option A all day!

Chestnuts roasted by Bartleby @ 05/27/2009 3:30 AM


AAAAAA! if only i could count the times i bought stupid crap from dollars stores….

Chestnuts roasted by angrygoose @ 05/27/2009 3:32 AM


I’d vote C but I don’t know how easy it will be for you to find that Kool-Aid. So I’m picking A.

Glad to see you posting again Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Anthony @ 05/27/2009 3:36 AM


its all about C. After being gone awhile you wanna do what feels most comfortable and C is definitely it.

Chestnuts roasted by sirdaveysockrocker @ 05/27/2009 3:48 AM


lol i have to say “building a Robot” strikes my fancy the most!

Chestnuts roasted by theslutsmovieINdallas @ 05/27/2009 4:26 AM


There is no option A, only Zuul!

Chestnuts roasted by Wysefool @ 05/27/2009 5:14 AM


Finally. Welcome back from the dead! Uh… looks like Option A is winning.. though if you go to a Dollar Tree, I just hope it’s better than the one around here. They haven’t had anything interesting I a while… I’m liking option D, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Duskull @ 05/27/2009 5:35 AM


Kool-Aid all the way. KOOL-AID!

Chestnuts roasted by Mike P @ 05/27/2009 5:41 AM


THE ROBOT! THE ROBOT!

Seriously, I think of them would be pretty awesome, so write what you must.(BUT DAMN YOU IF THAT ISN’T THE ******* KITCHEN JUNK ROBOT!)

Chestnuts roasted by IareAwesomecakes @ 05/27/2009 5:43 AM


D ! D! D! Work for it, baby!

Chestnuts roasted by Nightwane @ 05/27/2009 5:59 AM


Hey Matt, I choose C before A. I like both, but familiarity and something I already own gets me back in the swing of things a lot more quickly, you know?

P.S. I’m going to NY for part of my honeymoon. It’s been a while. Any must-sees?

Chestnuts roasted by M.Fireball @ 05/27/2009 6:03 AM


A and D- Twenty-five bucks spent at a Dollar Tree place and use the purchases to build a robot….

A, B, and D! Build a robot pet! That eats Kool-Aid!

E.

Chestnuts roasted by SaveALemming @ 05/27/2009 6:08 AM


a or b

Chestnuts roasted by Anonymous @ 05/27/2009 6:28 AM


as the Fonz would say.

Aaaaaaaa!

Chestnuts roasted by Nigel Chaos @ 05/27/2009 6:56 AM


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