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I suppose the growing rumors of my demise and the 72 MySQL errors littering the site mean that I should probably, uh, write something.

As for why I haven't posted -- that's a loaded question. A short break turned into a long one would be the simple answer. A longer answer would involve descriptions of the changing landscape of the industry I work in, and the copious amount of extra effort it's taken to remain vital within it. It's a personal journey and a boring story, totally unsuited to becoming a major motion picture, but the point of it is that the past several months have been so loaded with responsibilities that, bluntly put, I maxed out and couldn't handle another.

I would never dare to say that writing about junk food and Krang is an outright responsibility, chore, job or anything of the sort, but there just came a point where if I had a free moment, I wanted to spend it privately. Being a go-getter is not my nature; I am, at heart, a lazy slug. But if I had to pretend otherwise, it could only be for 8 (or 9, or 12) hours a day. Not 24. I'd make a terrible Behrooz.

Then again, I guess it's not brain surgery to package crap up all pretty like.

immat the library, do u no why??

my books r dewback lol

Anyway, finally, things are settling down, and I'm getting the itch back. I have big grand plans, but I can't tell you about them, because if I break another site-related promise, I'd likely turn up dead. But, let's roll the dice and try this much:

This Saturday, I will write about something. And you will tell me what that something is. Your options are:

A) Matt spends $25 at a Dollar Tree or some other such store, and describes his purchases. I've done it before, but not for years, and the statute of limitations has gotta be working in my favor by now.

B) Matt gets a new pet and writes about it. Don't get your hopes up, I'm not buying a dog just to have something to write about. But it will be something alive.

C) Matt tries to find his collection of Kool-Aid; if he succeeds, he reviews a new flavor.

D) Matt builds a robot using only the materials available in his kitchen junk drawer.

I really hope you don't pick "D."

Okay, for the twelve of you who still read X-E, please, choose my adventure!

Posted by Matt on 05/26/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 403 comments

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A. Various amounts of crap are always fun.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 05/26/2009 10:21 PM


A. sounds good to me, too. Dollar Stores are a treasure trove of wonderful crap.

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 05/26/2009 10:24 PM


B or C

Glad you’re back Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by SuperRecoome @ 05/26/2009 10:24 PM


D! D! D! and, in reality, I really meant to choose…D!

Chestnuts roasted by Delkon @ 05/26/2009 10:25 PM


Welcome back man!

Glad to see you writing again.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 05/26/2009 10:25 PM


Oh yea, and please do D.

Anyways, see you in a couple months!

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 05/26/2009 10:27 PM


Your shopping trips are epic, so as much as I love Kool-Aid, I’m gonna have to go with A

Chestnuts roasted by Saint @ 05/26/2009 10:29 PM


Option A has always been my favorite style of article. I vote for that.

And it’s amazing you posted, because just today I’d decided to stop checking and come back in a few months to see if you were around. You saved me a couple of clicks!

Chestnuts roasted by KeyguardActive @ 05/26/2009 10:30 PM


Nice to see your cadence, Matt.

I got married a couple weeks ago and spent the honeymoon at Disney. It was like I was channeling X-E.

I vote A. It sounds the least time-consuming.

Back to Rhythm Heaven on the DS before turning in.

Chestnuts roasted by MysteryD8 @ 05/26/2009 10:36 PM


Shit MATT!! Do the Dollar Tree and post it on the front page for the whole world to see! I always loved those grab-baggy articles!!

Def. still reading, still checking every day!

And now, back to Heather’s!

Nice Behrooz ref! Can’t believe how Tony turned out this year!

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 05/26/2009 10:40 PM


Welcome back oh creator of the marvel that is X-E!:D
Honestly, I’d LOVE IT, if you did D! But since that would be a little to much to ask of you since your SO maxed out, I’ll settle for A. MK? :)

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 05/26/2009 10:42 PM


Option C, I choose you!! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 05/26/2009 10:45 PM


ooo i vote for b!

Chestnuts roasted by leota @ 05/26/2009 10:45 PM


D would be the best thing ever, but A is an acceptable substitute. I love articles on ridiculous dollar store crap.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 05/26/2009 10:46 PM


OH SHI- Its Matt, and He’s posting. Glad to see some new text, there Matt. As for your Adventure, I loved the last article about your trip to Toys R Us (If I remember correctly there was a Godzilla rip-off involved), so I can only concluded that the 25 dollars spent at a Dollar Tree or similar would be an article of epic proportions!

I CHOOSE YOU, “SELECTION A”!!
*Throws Pokeball*

I will be back on Saturday slapping the hell out of my F5 key in anticipation.

Chestnuts roasted by NintendoMan @ 05/26/2009 10:48 PM


I’ll be satisfied with A or D. Or E. Yes, Option E, I can see you there…

Chestnuts roasted by PlantMonster @ 05/26/2009 10:58 PM


Matt,

I’ve been coming here for years when I needed a dose of dopey eighties Americana – it’s nice to see you’re still around. I’m gonna suggest option A, but at a thrift store. Those places are da bomb. I recently bought a Man-o-War, Leonardo, and something that looked vaguely like a pissed off missing link between sharks and crabs for two bucks. And most of them had all their limbs!

Chestnuts roasted by daikiki @ 05/26/2009 11:00 PM


I’ve gotta go with Dollar Tree. As much as I’d love to see you build a robot out of your random junk, I just can’t put you through that trouble. The Kool-Aid idea seems just doesn’t strike me as a “wow” post right now, so that’s out. I’d love to hear about a new pet, but as busy as you are I’d feel terrible if the poor thing (or things) wound up dead due to lack of attention. So I’m gonna have to go with option A. Although I DO have an addendum to make:

Instead of spending $25 at Dollar Tree, spend $25 buying random useless crap they sell at the gas station. I’m talking about novelty lighters, budget DVD’s, those cheap little toys that always seem cool until you get them in your car…you know what I mean. I think that would be an even more interesting article. :) Glad to hear you’re alive!

Chestnuts roasted by Stevezilla @ 05/26/2009 11:00 PM


I’ll choose E…The Advent Calendar. This cliffhanger is worse than Who Shot JR!

Chestnuts roasted by kingchachi @ 05/26/2009 11:06 PM


OMG! HE’S BACK!

Nice dewback joke. lulz

As for the vote, gotta go with D.

A is a close second, and that seems to be winning so far, so I’m down with that.

Chestnuts roasted by UncleGramps @ 05/26/2009 11:07 PM


A! Can’t go wrong with the leader of the alphabet.

Chestnuts roasted by Hazard @ 05/26/2009 11:08 PM


Options A AND D. Buy crap, and build a robot out of it!

Nice to see you writing again, Matt!

And LOL at the Dewback joke..I work in a Library so I am easily amused by librarian jokes.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 05/26/2009 11:08 PM


D!D!D!D!

Spoon-bot would kick much ass!

And good to see you still breathe, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Tom @ 05/26/2009 11:12 PM


D

the Dewback joke just made my day muuuch better.

Chestnuts roasted by xero @ 05/26/2009 11:13 PM


Welcome back, Matt. Glad to see you motivated.

Chestnuts roasted by ArthurCluck @ 05/26/2009 11:17 PM


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