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04/06/2009: Monster Rap.

Hello!

I was going to post this as a comment, but considering that the last thread is nearing 1000 comments (all positive) and takes about seventeen minutes to load, we may as well start anew.

I’m alive and unchanged. Seriously, I’ve just been working. A lot. It’s been a less-than-ideal grind and I very much look forward to the current wave passing so I can get back to doing what I love to do best: Nothing, with a side of you.

Some of you have expressed interest in an early return for the Halloween Juke. I couldn’t agree more and will try to include this soon as a partial mea culpa. I’ve been listening to that shit constantly, though I don’t know if it has as much to do with me wanting Halloween as it does the fact that Geico’s “Somebody’s Watching Me” commercial airs 772 times each hour.

Also, there was an a site in circulation that evidently attempted to redirect users to a bad place. I cannot lie: I thought you guys were mistaken, but you were right, and the ad guys at UGO (and me) really, sincerely apologize for any trouble it caused. It’s been eradicated and you should have no further trouble.

I finally watched that Clone Wars movie. Now, I was as hard on the prequels as anyone, but despite what seemed to be common opinion, I really didn’t think it was bad at all. Granted, I fell asleep halfway through, but I’m assuming it grew no more offensive from there. Plus, the first reveal of Jabba’s son, suddenly crawling out and goo-goo gah-ing with absolutely no build or fanfare, cracked me up so much that I had to rewind the scene seven times before watching the rest of (or the rest of the first half of) the movie.

Very odd to hear an ice cream truck’s jingle playing during a thunderstorm in early April, but I swear, I just did.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 571 comments

Oh- and my licked flavor is either pumpkin or CRANBERRY SPLASH!

And I keep forgetting. Rev. – this one’s for you- http://i.buyoly.com/arcana_filthyviking_med.jpg

Ghosted by Plantmonster @ 04/16/2009 10:38 PM EDT

If licked I (honestly) would taste like cigars, wine, 5 gum, Jolly Ranchers and well, probably my 3 cats!!

Anyone else NOT working tomorrow? I have this whole week off for Easter (YAY Quebec for being soooo Catholic) and therefore I am on the internet this evening, wine in hand.

My favorite part of the 90s?? Nickelodeon.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 04/16/2009 11:18 PM EDT

A week off of work? In America? You’re living in a fantasy land for sure…..

I did get last Friday and Monday off, though!

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 04/17/2009 12:41 AM EDT

I take weeks off of work all the time.

Substitute teaching, ftw.

Ghosted by Neg @ 04/17/2009 1:32 AM EDT

Cameron T – No dude, not America: Very Catholic Quebec, Canada, hence the week off work.

Anyone else miss GUTS?? The best Nickelodeon game show after ‘Double Dare’???

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 04/17/2009 2:45 AM EDT

Do any ya’ll remember that Nickelodeon game show that had contestants going inside a video game at the end? There were 3 big bosses in the game. This big green guy, this medium sized blue guy, and this red chick. I definitely remember watchin it, but I can’t remember the name. I ask thee, what is the name of this show, oh great and mysterious X-E? :)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 04/17/2009 4:39 AM EDT

Don’t remember GUTS. I do miss me some Double Dare though. The obstacle course was the best.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 04/17/2009 5:03 AM EDT

ULTRAMAN- Are you talking about Nick Arcade? Very cheesey use of the blue screen on that show.

Ghosted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 04/17/2009 7:26 AM EDT

If you want to talk game shows for kids lets talk Carmen Sandiego on PBS. Now that was a great show!

Ghosted by drew do @ 04/17/2009 8:21 AM EDT

DarkSideofBrightness never ceases to amaze me. *bats eyelashes* She’s hit the nail right on the head, it was Nick Arcade indeed Mr. ULTRAMAN.

That show was really hard. Not because of the quiz questions, not because of the arcade game point challenges – the game was difficult because the blue-screen technology was archaic at best. Kids would swat away at the key they were supposed to pick up to advance and no matter what they did it just wouldn’t register that they’d touched it. The game was broken! It made me so angry sometimes.

The only other annoying thing was the host – particularly when he cheered people on while they played an arcade game. He clearly knew nothing about video games. “Okay yea now grab the mushrooms! YEA! YEA! Oh wait..those hurt you…okay ha nevermind.”

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 9:38 AM EDT

Carmen San Diego was one of the best gameshows ever! It seemed almost impossible to win, though. Of course, it had Rockapella going for it as well as one of the best and most clever theme songs for a television show ever!

Ghosted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 04/17/2009 9:38 AM EDT

Totally, although the “chief” calling everyone “gumshoes” used to really piss me off. The final game was impossible though. I think every once in a while the rigged it so someone could win just to keep kids interested.

Ghosted by drew do @ 04/17/2009 9:42 AM EDT

No no no… people, people!

LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE!

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 9:54 AM EDT

Olmec: “…and then DarkSideofBrightness, you’ll have to pass through the Shrine of the Silver Monkey!”

DarkSideofBrightness: “Pshh, I’ve seen this show a million times. Your challenge doesn’t scare me, you granite bastard.”

Olmec: “Oh really?! I should probably also mention that all the Temple Guardians have been replaced with rabid kodiak bears….”

DarkSideofBrightness: “I see…”

Olmec: “Oh, and you know the rooms normally filled with foam packing peanuts that you have to sift through to find a key?”

DarkSideofBrightness: “Of course!”

Olmec: “Now they’re filled with sexually-frustrated octopuses.”

DarkSideofBrightness: “Guh…alright…”

Olmec: “Now let’s talk about the drone-guns…”

*watching from home*

Rev.: “GOD DAMN IT HOW DO I GET ON THIS SHOW!!!!”

*roundhouses television*

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 10:11 AM EDT

As a kid a was also a big fan of Finders Keepers and on Nick. There was a Nick Gameshow Channel not to long ago (but they got rid of it) that showed all of the gameshows. There was also Get the Picture and Figure It Out.

Ghosted by King JLA @ 04/17/2009 10:28 AM EDT

And the less-popular “Do This Or Else!”.

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 10:32 AM EDT

A week off for Easter? Wow. I’ve had to work the last two Christmas Eves.*

* – But I’ve gotten the day AFTER the Fourth of July off, which never fails to mystify me.

Ghosted by tanta07 @ 04/17/2009 10:32 AM EDT

OH…MY…Gosh…FINDERS KEEPERS!!! I totally forgot about that show!! I loved the crap out of it! Thank you for bringing that memory back into my life.

I was going to ask if anyone remembered this from the 90’s…it was a sandwich spread that already mixed the peanut butter and jelly all twisty-like in the jar…they also had peanut butter and banana and most likely some other combos. The PB/Banana was my favorite…too bad its extinct.

Ghosted by jennyroo @ 04/17/2009 11:30 AM EDT

Darksideofbrightness&Morfnblorsh: THAT’S the name! That would’ve bugged the livin crap outta me if ya’ll didn’t tell me the name.lol And Carmen Sandiego was easily one of the best game shows EVER! I remember watchin it every day after school. The toon of the same name was great too. Fox Kids was just beyond awesome.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 04/17/2009 11:38 AM EDT

jennyroo: The already mixed PB&J is still around actually. And it’s tasty.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 04/17/2009 11:39 AM EDT

Another Nick favorite of mine was the sorta gameshow
“What Would You Do?” mostly for the Wall of Stuff and Pie Pod. Wild and Crazy Kids was also fun.

Ghosted by King JLA @ 04/17/2009 11:48 AM EDT

Fox kids was an excellent line up. I was just looking at the TV guide and am amazed to realize that network television has NO after school kids cartoons whatsoever! EVEN PBS! Granted cable TV is much more widespread now, but I had it as a kid and still always watched the network toons as they were always way better.

What kind of world is this?!?!

Wiki has all the old lineups, here is one that I think I remember best (1992):
* Batman: The Animated Series
* Dog City
* Eek! The Cat
* Super Dave – Daredevil for Hire
* Tiny Toon Adventures
* X-Men

Ghosted by drew do @ 04/17/2009 12:08 PM EDT

Don’t forget Bobby’s World.

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 12:21 PM EDT

King JLA, thank you for mentioning Finders Keepers! When I think of the post-Double Dare slot, that’s what I think of. Reading the posts, I was beginning to wonder if anyone else remembered that at all. I know I’m dating myself, but my glory days of Nick were the late 80’s: Rated K, Nick Rocks (with Joe from Chicago!), Double Dare, Finders Keepers, Don’t Just Sit There. I always enjoyed the live action stuff better than animation, so once the Nicktoon era started and most of the programming became cartoons, I didn’t watch as much. I did tune in for Clarissa and Welcome Freshmen, though. I watched Fifteen once in a while, but it was more to laugh at it than because I enjoyed it. Man, that show was overdramatic! Once Snick came along, I’d watch Roundhouse every Saturday, but that was about it. At that point I was a teenager and I really didn’t have much use for Nick at that point. Well, I say that, but when I was 19 I used to tape Blue’s Clues every week because I developed such a crush on Steve.

Anyone around old enough (or had pay cable long enough ago) to remember the game show Calliope on The Disney Channel? Those were my EARLY elementary days.

Ghosted by Lori (The Original) @ 04/17/2009 12:53 PM EDT

What was Finders Keepers? Sounds familiar. I’m a couple of years older than most of you guys I think, maybe only 2 or 3 but it makes a big difference in what kind of media and entertainment resonated with me.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 04/17/2009 1:02 PM EDT

Finder’s Keepers was an awesome show where you had to look through a big, messy house to find a specific items.

Here’s a clip from YouTube with children failing miserably:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_Pwg7opEig&feature=related

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 1:25 PM EDT

Ya know i wanted to say my piece and be done with it. However momo’s like bloodmyre will just keep it going. Leave it to some asshole to act all high and mighty when he just wants to be a prick for not agreeing. Thats ok with me, however unlike you i don’t just sit there and let people sh*t on me. You can, your a brit, so i’m sure your used to it. Go smoke a fag. Either one. lol

Oh and my favorite nick show was double dare. Thats damn hamster wheel cost everyone their prize almost everytime!

Ghosted by owen hart @ 04/17/2009 1:37 PM EDT

I just thought of a couple more obscure Nick gameshows: Think Fast and Make the Grade. The only thing memorable about Think Fast was it’s final round concerned lockers. MtG was basically another version trivia game.

Kids Shows outside of Nick:
Video Power: Another Video game show
Fun House
Master of the Maze
I’m Telling
Wheel 2000: Kiddie Wheel of Forntune. I believe there was a Jeopardy one too.
Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego: The inferior spinoff, although I did like they used actors to portray the villains here.
There was a Tales From the Crypt Game.
There was also a kiddie version of American Gladiators.

Ghosted by King JLA @ 04/17/2009 1:44 PM EDT

What about that show “Kid’s Court”.

I remember feeling really amazed by that show and threatening to take my parents there – but never being able to find a good reason why I should get my fireworks returned to me.

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 1:52 PM EDT

jennyroo: It’s called Goober Grape

Ghosted by DJ D @ 04/17/2009 2:41 PM EDT

As a kid I really enjoyed watching Supermarket Sweep, The Price is Right, and another one that involved running around a faux mall, looking for prizes (of course, the name escapes me now).

Ghosted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 04/17/2009 3:24 PM EDT

Man what happened to Nickelodeon ? The quality of their new shows isn’t nearly as good as their old ones. Kids deserve good quality shows too.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 04/17/2009 3:26 PM EDT

There was once a game show called The Money Maze that I would like to see revived as a kids’ show. I remember watching it and getting all excited when the number 1 was lit during the final round.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Money_Maze

Ghosted by kingklash @ 04/17/2009 5:11 PM EDT

ULTRAMAN I agree, kid shows today suck. The reason they suck now is because they aren’t “fun” anymore. Game shows aren’t popular. Kids today are trying to act more mature than they are (or at least appear that way). It’s almost like being a “kid” isn’t cool anymore, and the cut-off age has been drastically reduced.

Remember the show Wild n’ Crazy Kids? I loved that show and it was dumb as hell.

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 5:21 PM EDT

I was more into What Would You Do? I had intimate dreams about that pie slide.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 04/17/2009 5:44 PM EDT

Mystie I remember watching that show, but only when nothing else was on. It was definitely one of the shows I watched but did not love.

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 5:45 PM EDT

Oh god, Mystie a great clip I found on YouTube. It’s basically a girl becoming an instant snow-monster in your beloved Pie Slide.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aBXrF87GFg&feature=related

I seem to remember a physical challenge where you had to try to drink from 6 soda cans at once. They were taped together and you weren’t allowed to separate them. The kid failed, and then Marc Summers said something like “I haven’t done this since college…but…” and tilted them just right forming a giant stream of soda which he choked down.

Marc must have had a wild college life.

Ghosted by Morfnblorsh @ 04/17/2009 5:52 PM EDT

“Man what happened to Nickelodeon ?”

You grew up.

Ghosted by Mike Russo @ 04/17/2009 5:55 PM EDT

SNT PREDICTION

Ghosted by Tommorow For SURE I can feel it!! @ 04/17/2009 6:17 PM EDT

Matt will blow us off. That is my prediction.

Ghosted by Guy @ 04/17/2009 6:48 PM EDT

i once had a special lady go down on me and told me my junk tasted like coffee. i thought that was a huge compliment, considering what weird stuff it could taste like. she hated coffee though and it went downhill from there. why couldn’t it taste like chocolate?

Ghosted by clodhopper @ 04/17/2009 7:25 PM EDT

Wild and Crazy Kids was pretty awesome. And Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego was cool, too. Watched them both all the time.

Yeah, Nick kind of died in the early 90s. After Adventures of Pete and Pete, I lost interest.

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 04/17/2009 9:52 PM EDT

I don’t think it died so much as it changed. Just like the Disney channel. It isn’t really for kids so much as tweens these days. To be fair to them though, they are cleaning the hell up al la Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers while Nick still has the super popular Spongebob.

Ghosted by drew do @ 04/17/2009 11:07 PM EDT

When I lived in Korea, they showed ‘Legend of the Hidden Temple’ all the time for some reason. That show RULED. The obstacle course thingy at the end was actually really hard.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 04/17/2009 11:59 PM EDT

Digging the original Halloween that is on AMC starting right now. A little spooky goodness in April never hurt anyone.

Ghosted by Bill @ 04/18/2009 1:29 AM EDT

Oh man, I used to watch all the best cartoons. Ed, Edd, N Eddy, Dexters Lab, Kablaam!, Hey Arnold, DBZ, All That, Johnny Bravo, and a whole lot of other crap I can’t remember. Nowadays, the shows suck, though there are a few good ones out there. A FEW.

Ghosted by Hazard @ 04/18/2009 1:31 AM EDT

Mike Russo: I’m aware that I’m grown up. I didn’t expect to be a fan of Nickelodeon well into my adult life. I was just saying that they don’t seem to put the effort into their shows like they used to. I showed some old Nick stuff to a little cousin of mine, and he told me he thought they were a lot better than the new stuff,so I don’t think it’s just nostalgia that makes me think this. Then again, maybe it is nostalgia. Nothin wrong with that. :)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 04/18/2009 2:00 AM EDT

I think Nickelodeon really HAS declined in creativity, but I’m not sure it’s necessarily their fault. A lot of their best shows in the 90s were edgy in some way, either because the jokes were sometimes subtly adult or because they actually treated kids like they have brains. (I seem to remember Nick taking political stances pretty often, which I don’t think would fly today, but for me it was an important part of learning to give a shit.) Parents have bigger sticks up their asses these days and everything now has to be squeaky clean. I’ve seriously heard people say they won’t let their kids watch Fairly Oddparents. Having grown up on Ren & Stimpy, I am baffled by this.

I’ve also noticed Warner Bros. cartoons seem to be dead these days, which is sad. Looney Tunes of course was always great, and Tiny Toons and Animaniacs were some of the best cartoons in the 90s. Of course you can’t have any of that now because of the EVIL VIOLENCE that children will imitate. Because the last three or four generations have all run around dropping anvils on their parents, apparently. *sigh*

Ghosted by jazzy @ 04/18/2009 5:26 AM EDT

Ory: Yes, hi.

And as such, we need to call on the power of “Fun House”, “Knightmare”, “Double Dare”, “Crystal Maze”, “Get Your Own Back” and of course floating head god “Gamesmaster”…

Ghosted by Guise @ 04/18/2009 6:19 AM EDT

jazzy: I hear ya. Don’t get me started on the UTTERLY ridiculous logic that A LOT of parents use lol. Also, what could POSSIBLY be bad about Fairly Odd Parents!?

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 04/18/2009 7:04 AM EDT

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