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7777.

I was hoping my first post after a seventeen year drought of blog entries would be more substantial, but I had work today, so all you get is filler.

The Advent Calendar isn't finished. I feel okay with this, because we still haven't taken down our Christmas tree. I'm serious. And it's a real tree. And the decorations are still on it. And it's right in the middle of our living room window, so it's not like we can keep this dastardly secret to ourselves. Believe me, it has nothing to do with refusing to let go. When you get down to it, we're just kind of disgusting,

Or maybe the Advent Calendar is finished, but linked in mysterious ways. It's very doubtful and I'm probably lying.

I don't owe anyone anything. I was quoted on the Ghoulies IV DVD box, for Christ's sake. You're lucky I turned down Hollywood.

I hope everyone's well. I don't have work tomorrow, so unless I come up with some brillaint excuse to get out of writing, there will be new, actual content here. What will it be about? I'm not allowed to tell you.

Clearly, a survey is in order. In the comments, tell us your least favorite movie of all time. It doesn't need to be the worst movie you've ever seen, because bad movies can be great. Muster all of your personal bias, and present the reasons why "Movie X" makes you want to kill people with rocks.

Once I finish building my robot, I'll join in.

Posted by Matt on 01/16/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 1,240 comments
1 … 3 4 5 6 7 … 50

I thought subUrbia was kinda lame..it tries to be all relevant and credible, like Reality Bites, but just falls apart.

And yeah, Mr. Andy R, those films are garbage.

Of course, if you wanna get into B-grade crap I’m saying Soultaker or Demon Keeper…maybe Basket Case

Chestnuts roasted by Tutsuro @ 01/17/2009 4:02 AM

DarkSideofBrightness Yo totally agreed on League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It’s sad, soooo much potential but just terribly done. There should be no reason a movie involving super powers is so bad.

Chestnuts roasted by Jess @ 01/17/2009 4:16 AM

Teddy Ray, DarkSideofBrightness Totally agreed on Ace Ventura – and Yes Man (which is what I think it is called is wildly close to Liar Liar)

Chestnuts roasted by Jess @ 01/17/2009 4:40 AM

Cat the Vampire Slayer OMG agreeeeed on Napoleon Dynamite, I recently had an especially heated argument on how the only interesting part is how the actor of the steak eating uncle is spitting it out between shots because he is a vegetarian in real life.

Chestnuts roasted by Jess @ 01/17/2009 4:44 AM

Here is one for you – recent – Vicky Christina Barcelona, winner of a golden globe for an award it didn’t even classify for.

A film advertised as sultry with massive voice over dialogue. Woody Allen – yeah I guess but nothing great. As for that advertised as sultry – barely sultry at all. Twas a waste of a good idea.

Chestnuts roasted by Jess @ 01/17/2009 5:08 AM

Kid Nicky, I was so excited when I found a track ball controller to play Centipede…it was awesome! Sure wish we’d kept that system and all of the games.

Chestnuts roasted by Trish @ 01/17/2009 5:15 AM

Jason: Yes, let’s pray that Happy Flight, like the plane it centers around, never actually makes it out of Japan. I’ll never live down saying, ‘hey, it could be interesting’, because walking into the theater.

Chestnuts roasted by N @ 01/17/2009 6:15 AM

I made the mistake of wanting to see the 2002 remake of “The Time Machine.”

Kids, never satisfy your curiosity.

Chestnuts roasted by M.Fireball @ 01/17/2009 7:07 AM

The worst film I ever saw in my entire life was Terry Gilliam’s “Brazil”…nothing was wrong with the visuals or the acting or the characters, it was just the ending that made me never want to watch that movie ever again.

Also a very bad movie to me was Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Jar Jar ruined that movie for me, saw it one time, never going to see it again…

And Napoleon Dynamite was billed as a comedy? Why? What’s funny about it? I saw nothing to laugh at in the entire movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Delkon @ 01/17/2009 7:17 AM

Starter for Ten. It wasn’t a bad movie at all, but two of the things that happened in it were so awful and cringeworthy and rotten that they actually gave me anxiety dreams of it happening to me. And that doesn’t usually happen.

I agree with Delkon about Brazil. Although it all depends on which version he saw…

Chestnuts roasted by Erin F @ 01/17/2009 9:02 AM

Donnie Darko.Over rated/over hyped and WTF was all that about anyways?!

Chestnuts roasted by Blazer @ 01/17/2009 9:11 AM

I have to disagree with a hater above. Mystery Men is an excellent movie. Casanova Frankenstein!

Chestnuts roasted by Barry @ 01/17/2009 9:19 AM

Matt, you do know that it’s bad luck to keep your tree up after the twelfth night (of Christmas)? You could be cursing a whole year’s worth of articles.

Bad movie… hmm… hard to chose, ‘cos I’ve seen a LOT. I can’t narrow it down right now, but – as some previous posts have already reflected – there are hideous cheap horror movies, whose most truly scary points are the cheap and tacky way in which they were produced in the first place.
…”Hideoous”. I must use that word more often.

Chestnuts roasted by Jay Firestorm @ 01/17/2009 10:31 AM

I will agree with everyone who mentioned freddy got fingered. i wasnt even old enough to see this movie in the theatre(i was only 16 at the time) so my friend and I snuck in to see it, which means it must have sucked a million times worse than any other movie because after all of that trouble, we ended up walking out. i dont know how anyone could actually sit through the entire thing without wanting to fall on something sharp. another one of my least favorite movies(but not because of the movie itself) is the neverending story. the movie itself is great, but when i was about 6 years old, i got really sick to the point that my fever wasnt going down and i had to go to the hospital. the neverending story was playing when i had to be taken to the hospital…it makes me overheated just thinking about it…

Chestnuts roasted by Leigha @ 01/17/2009 10:46 AM

First of all, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is SO terrible that I just watch it as a comedy. I just laugh.
But two movies I can’t laugh through are Goodwill Hunting and The Secret Life of Henry Orient, To be fair, I saw both of these movies on the day that I got my wisdom teeth out. I couldn’t keep food down, and I couldn’t really talk. I found Goodwill Hunting just depressing (fat, serious Robin Williams?) and Th Secret Life of Henry Orient was just incredibly stupid.

JLAJRC- BOTH of those are GREAT MOVIES!!!

Chestnuts roasted by PlantMonster @ 01/17/2009 11:17 AM

I dragged the Colonel to Mystery Men, seeing as I was obsessed with Janeane Garofalo at the time.

Oh do I regret that. Now she’s all militant and shite :o

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 01/17/2009 11:21 AM

Okay, I just finished reading all of the posts…
JLAJRC- HOW CAN YOU SAY “Man with the Screaming Brain” IS BAD?!?! IT’S A GREAT MOVIE! IT WILL GO DOWN IN THE HISTORY BOOKS!

On another note, I’m kind of suprised that no one mentioned “The Happening” by name. I liked it, but…http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10007985-happening/

Chestnuts roasted by PlantMonster @ 01/17/2009 11:32 AM

THE WORST MOVIES EVER

1.BASIC with John Travolta. The ending of this movie has to be one of the Worst ever filmed, only made worse by being set to the Music of Ram Jam’s – Black Betty. Horrible film that my friends and I make fun of to this day.

2.The Good Shepherd with Matt Damon. Wow. 3 hours of boring, cardboard acting. I thought the CIA would be interesting. Probably the most boring movie I’ve ever seen in my life. Most of the characters in the film were about as interesting as a Desk Lamp. Deniro should stick to acting, not directing.

3.The Godfather III – Ugh. Sofia Coppola ruined this movie. I pretend like it doesn’t even exist. Coppola has stated he only did this movie for the money after a string of box office bombs.

4.Mr.Deeds – Fell Asleep twice in a packed theatre on a Free movie night. Left and vent to the bar till my friends were done.

5.The Star Wars prequels – Again, I like to pretend these don’t exist. Watched a bit of Revenge of the Sith on TV the other day, worse than I remembered it, Horrid acting with Hayden and Natalie Portman, why the hell did Chewbacca need to be in the movie?

6.Shrek 3 – never finished watching it. Not funny, no charm of the original.

I’m sure there’s more. That’s all that come to mind right now.

Cheers!
-Ian

Chestnuts roasted by Ian McDonald @ 01/17/2009 12:01 PM

I actually liked Napoleon Dynamite, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Brazil, Sin City, Transformers, and Donnie Darko.

Natural Born Killers sucked, though. Hated Clockwork Orange and Eyes Wide Shut.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 01/17/2009 12:05 PM

I hated The Devil Wears Prada with a burning hatey hate. It pissed me off on so many levels.

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 01/17/2009 12:07 PM

Hi lovely X-E strangers!
I strongly dislike the movie “Stepmom.”
“Loathsome” is honestly the best descriptor I can think of for EVERY character in the film, except possibly Ed Harris. Especially Susan Sarandon.

Also, I feel like I should like this movie on principle, because my own Mom died from cancer when I was a kid. But my Mom was not an intolerable bitch like Susan Sarandon in “Stepmom.” So there!

Also, hey Rev: For some reason, my brain didn’t find it too difficult to conflate my own dubious recollections of Nick Stahl’s (“Carnivale Ben”‘s) face and Matt-Dressed-As-Zombie from some article of yore. Still, they probably are not secret twins – I’m just a nutjob!

Chestnuts roasted by egg @ 01/17/2009 12:12 PM

The wife wanted to add solaris (the clooney version) and Clerks II mostly for the donkey scene.

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 01/17/2009 12:14 PM

Yeah, Transformers (2007) is pretty awful. Yeah, I said I liked it opening night….well…I guess I was on some form of illegal substance :o I can’t stand watching Shia bumble about. Wish Battle of Shaker Heights never got made. DAMN YOU BEN AND MATT!

It pains my soul that he’s in Constantine, as it’s one of my favorite movies ever.

TF (1986) is of course one of the greatest movies ever made.

ARISE RODIMUS PRIME!

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 01/17/2009 12:22 PM

I hate to stick up for Transformers,since the internet hive mind will just flame away,but the Austrailian girl wasn’t supposed to be “nerdy” she was just intelligent. It is possible to be a “very attractive blond girl dressed in the height of fashion” AND know about computers. It would actually be MORE stereotypical if she was fat and zitfaced.

I do agree the 86 movie was better,but then again I think the 86 Transformers movie is an alltime classic. It’s my second favorite movie behind Blade Runner.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 01/17/2009 12:38 PM

I was waiting for some Kubrick to pop up. I just watched Clockwork Orange for the first time in many years and I loved it even more now than I did back then. The brilliance of the satire hit home more now that I’m a little older and more experienced, I guess. Plus, 70′s movie costumes fill me with joy, so hallucinatory 70′s vision of the future costumes completely send me.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 01/17/2009 12:46 PM

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