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7777.

I was hoping my first post after a seventeen year drought of blog entries would be more substantial, but I had work today, so all you get is filler.

The Advent Calendar isn't finished. I feel okay with this, because we still haven't taken down our Christmas tree. I'm serious. And it's a real tree. And the decorations are still on it. And it's right in the middle of our living room window, so it's not like we can keep this dastardly secret to ourselves. Believe me, it has nothing to do with refusing to let go. When you get down to it, we're just kind of disgusting,

Or maybe the Advent Calendar is finished, but linked in mysterious ways. It's very doubtful and I'm probably lying.

I don't owe anyone anything. I was quoted on the Ghoulies IV DVD box, for Christ's sake. You're lucky I turned down Hollywood.

I hope everyone's well. I don't have work tomorrow, so unless I come up with some brillaint excuse to get out of writing, there will be new, actual content here. What will it be about? I'm not allowed to tell you.

Clearly, a survey is in order. In the comments, tell us your least favorite movie of all time. It doesn't need to be the worst movie you've ever seen, because bad movies can be great. Muster all of your personal bias, and present the reasons why "Movie X" makes you want to kill people with rocks.

Once I finish building my robot, I'll join in.

Posted by Matt on 01/16/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 1,241 comments

So many movies I hate, but I guess I’d have to give the award to “Dude, Where’s My Car?” Aside from featuring the dual black holes of talent called Seann William Scott and Ashton Kutcher, besides a script that could only have been improved upon by a lemur with a red pencil having appendicitis, my friends somehow latched onto this as the film to torment me with whenever they feel like screwing with me. So it’s achieved a new strata of hatred.

Chestnuts roasted by BlakeMP @ 01/16/2009 11:23 PM


Definitely the one where those 3 ‘ninja’ kids save that amusement park…. from those ‘terrorists’ that have Loni Anderson as their leader? I mean they had goddamn JIM VARNEY AS THEIR “TOUGH BAD-GUY ASSASSIN”, FOR CHRISSAKES!
Big cell phones and puffy, puffy pants….Every kid actor in this turd looks like some ‘You Can’t Do That On Television’ reject….

Chestnuts roasted by borloff1313 @ 01/16/2009 11:35 PM


I’m going with biggest disappointments. I’ll list 3.
#1 The Avengers. Finnes, Umma and Sean Connery couldn’t make a good spy movie with 75 million bucks in 1998. Hell they couldn’t even get Sean’s lips to synch with his voice. Such an awful movie and an even worse waste of opportunity.

#2 Peter Jackson’s King Kong. Love the original love LOTR hate hate hate this movie. I won’t even get into details as I think the only thing you need to say is King Kong went Ass-skating through central park with Naomi Watts. I know Mare loved it but she is wrong.

#3 Crystal Skull. I wasn’t even expecting a great Indy movie I just wanted watchable. I just wanted a movie with Indy you know..does more than stand around and stare in the last act watching John Hurt and aliens do all the work. I wanted a movie where Ray Winstone did more than say “Jonesy” I didn’t want freaking CGI prairie dogs 3 times in the first 20 minutes. I didn’t want suriving a nuke in a fridge, green screen after green screen after green screen, tower making killer ants, bad snake-quicksand jokes and most of all I wanted Steven Speilberg to give a crap and not just stand behind the camera saying action and cut while George Lucas got to run wild with all the stupid ideas he used to suck this franchise down like he did Star Wars.

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 01/16/2009 11:37 PM


The one that has Glenn Danzig as the angel and they all have shiny black eyes was kind of a turd, too.

Chestnuts roasted by borloff1313 @ 01/16/2009 11:39 PM


Cat= Someone is actually making a spoof movie about spoof movies. It’s called Not Another Not Another
Movie. According to Wikipedia, the film spoofs the
ceaseless parody films released every year
revolving around a group of filmakers trying to
conceive a parody film. The film stars Chevy Chase
(Clark Griswold), and Burt Reynolds (Bandit).

I didn’t make this up. Some people hate Ishtar. I
myself like it, it is worth watching.

BlakeMP= Do you think Demi Moore is on drugs? If not,
why did she marry Ashton Kutcher?

I mention months back, that I actually saw Hudson Hawk
on the big screen. Smokey and The Bandit 3 is
considered the worst of the three films. Burt Reynolds
only appears near the end of the film. Under The
Rainbow with Carrie Fisher. I won’t say anymore about
it here anytime soon.

Chestnuts roasted by LoneStar76 @ 01/16/2009 11:42 PM


All of my Christmas stuff is still up, too. And my poor tree that never got finished is still in front of the window. I never was able to put the top piece on because I ran out of lights, energy and the will to finish it at about 4:30 Christmas morning. So I’m going to yank the lights off of it, pack it away, and bring it back out on November 1st and start restringing it with the new lights I bought on clearance after Christmas. But not yet. Next week, maybe. My house has so many beautiful, wonderful decorations that it almost looks like walking into a Christmas shop, and I just hate how empty everything looks when it gets packed away.

JLAJRC – when you said Wes Cravens New Nightmare- Needed more Freddy, all I could picture was Freddy rocking a cowbell…

Movies I’ve hated:

The Mask – I can only take Jim Carrey in very small doses and like him best in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Truman Show.

The Grinch – live action. Any live action version of an animated classic, for that matter.

Moulin Rouge – I have a liking problem with Nicole Kidman. I don’t like her.

Chestnuts roasted by Trish @ 01/16/2009 11:43 PM


Lonestar please say you’re shitting me. That makes me want to vomit.

Trish I could totally picture freddy with a cowbell. But I thought New Nightmare was 6 kinds of awesome. And probably would go up to 11 with the cowbell Freddy.

Chestnuts roasted by Cat the Vampire Slayer @ 01/16/2009 11:49 PM


thejyav, I was very disappointed in King Kong, too. Especially since that’s the movie Peter Jackson said he’d been wanting to make all his life…I guess I expected something better.

I haven’t even seen The Crystal Skull yet because I’m afraid of being let down. My daughter really liked it and she’s usually a pretty good judge of movies, but still…

Chestnuts roasted by Trish @ 01/16/2009 11:56 PM


They SURE fucked the Garbage Pail Kids franchise over with that awful, awful movie, too. When my son was like 5, he went through this phase where he wanted to watch JUMANJI like, 50 times. Robin Williams sucked SO BAD in that movie, it makes me actually angry! One of the Wayans brothers was in it, the dad owned a sneaker factory, so much mediocrity trying to be quirky!

Chestnuts roasted by borloff1313 @ 01/16/2009 11:56 PM


The Swarm. No, no it’s not “so bad it’s good”– it’s just terminally fuckin’ bad.

Chestnuts roasted by Beckner @ 01/16/2009 11:57 PM


House of the dead.

Good lord. There was even clips from the game randomly thrown in throughout the movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Hyper Dingo @ 01/16/2009 11:58 PM


Cat- I’m sorry if I make you upset, they are. It’s got an IMDB page. The 3 Last Summer films. Eurotrip, why
did Michelle Trachtenberg do that film? There were
some good things in that film. Michelle and that
blonde girl were hot.

Marci X, do I need a reason? Alot of people hate the
movie Gigli.

Chestnuts roasted by LoneStar76 @ 01/17/2009 12:12 AM


i hate the neverending story. i hate when that horse dies.

Chestnuts roasted by surfing pizza @ 01/17/2009 12:12 AM


Ace Ventura…the first one. Did not finish it and never saw the second.

But I still love Empire Records and have no clue why.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 01/17/2009 12:20 AM


CLOVERFIELD omg!!! so awful! Pearl Harbor was almost as bad.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 01/17/2009 12:24 AM


I actually prefer Peter Jackson’s remake over any of the other King Kong films.

Yes, I meant the prequels bored me. Believe it or not I saw the prequels before I saw the original trilogy, so it’s not like I was holding it up to any big standard or anything. Just entertain me.

Trish: All of the movies you hate I like.

Brokeback Mountain was good, but I didn’t find it to be anything special, though.

Hated the Hitcher remake. But I’ve still never seen the original.

Don’t care for Highlander.

Same goes for Blade Runner.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 01/17/2009 12:34 AM


Cloverfield was a great, GREAT movie. As far as bad movies, though, I’d have to say Snakes On A Train. Yes, you heard me correctly. Snakes. On. A. TRAIN. Makes Plan 9 look like Citizen Kane.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 01/17/2009 12:35 AM


Sorry, Teddy Ray, my whore mouth maintains that Empire Records is horrible. Prove me wrong.

Chestnuts roasted by Carpeteria @ 01/17/2009 12:37 AM


I hate slapstick comedians so you can guess what my worse movies are, fact is if the commercials even look like it will be “that kind of movie” I stay the hell away.( that means no “not another movies, no Napoleon dynamite, No Austen powers, you get the idea)

Let see I hate: any sequel past 2 of an American tail. (ok, I like the second one a little short but I’m fine with that and I would have given the third one a chance… if it hadn’t said that the WHOLE SECOND MOVIE WAS A DAMN DREAM! “click”, No damn way. In my mind there will only be one and two. I have disowned any after that.) any thing past the first Land before time. ( it’s called the land before time, The Comet that “kills” all the dinosaurs actually hits in the first movie so what the heck did the story keep going for another 50 movies and a TV series.)

I love Rocky and Bullwinkle the cartoon, but even though I own the live action movie, I’ve got to admit It try’s WAY TOO HARD to be what the cartoon was. It sucks.

I refuse to watch any resent reincarnation of DR.Suess’s work, They need to quit trying to make his stuff into movies. Just quit. And stop getting Jim Carrie and Mike Myers to do the action, they suck and they are not funny. neither is woody Allen for that matter. (though I’ve got to admit that Carrie’s latter works are better, much.. much better than his older stuff. I liked liar liar, and Bruce almighty..shame they had..to have a sequel)

….Ok, Rant over… don’t like what I said… just forget about it. I’m no one to argue with. You just go ahead and enjoy the number 15th sequel to the land before time, I’m not going to stop you.

Chestnuts roasted by Rookeealding @ 01/17/2009 12:37 AM


I couldn’t really be disappointed by King Kong (PJ version) since I knew it would be terrible. I just kind of laughed along at the audacity of an overnight sensation director trying to top one of history’s classic movies by adding in more CGI and goofy ice skating hijinx.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 01/17/2009 12:39 AM


Adaptation makes me upset. I watched it once and I never want to see it again. It bothered me so much.

The only movie I ever walked out on was Jeepers Creepers. Later I watched it at home and regretted not sticking it out in the theater. But you know when you’re 5 minutes into a movie, and you hope everyone dies? Jeepers Creepers.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 01/17/2009 12:39 AM


“School of Rock” and “Stuck on You” were so bad I didn’t enjoy them despite being extremely stoned at the time.

Chestnuts roasted by boingophile @ 01/17/2009 12:41 AM


The Final Destination movies. What was the point? Stay away from moving trains people.

Chestnuts roasted by LoneStar76 @ 01/17/2009 12:42 AM


Seabiscuit, Dodgeball, and Bourne Supremacy were all shit.

Chestnuts roasted by mezzanine @ 01/17/2009 12:44 AM


Stuff from the last thread:
Happy birthday Ultraman! Hope you enjoyed it on your “distant planet land.”

Trish-
Sometimes I still play Centipede on 2600. It’s a classic!

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 01/17/2009 12:45 AM


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