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7777.

I was hoping my first post after a seventeen year drought of blog entries would be more substantial, but I had work today, so all you get is filler.

The Advent Calendar isn't finished. I feel okay with this, because we still haven't taken down our Christmas tree. I'm serious. And it's a real tree. And the decorations are still on it. And it's right in the middle of our living room window, so it's not like we can keep this dastardly secret to ourselves. Believe me, it has nothing to do with refusing to let go. When you get down to it, we're just kind of disgusting,

Or maybe the Advent Calendar is finished, but linked in mysterious ways. It's very doubtful and I'm probably lying.

I don't owe anyone anything. I was quoted on the Ghoulies IV DVD box, for Christ's sake. You're lucky I turned down Hollywood.

I hope everyone's well. I don't have work tomorrow, so unless I come up with some brillaint excuse to get out of writing, there will be new, actual content here. What will it be about? I'm not allowed to tell you.

Clearly, a survey is in order. In the comments, tell us your least favorite movie of all time. It doesn't need to be the worst movie you've ever seen, because bad movies can be great. Muster all of your personal bias, and present the reasons why "Movie X" makes you want to kill people with rocks.

Once I finish building my robot, I'll join in.

Posted by Matt on 01/16/2009. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 1,241 comments

‘twould seem that we have quite a few new people here at the X, so as a long-time poster, let me point out that even if it’s impinging on the AC (welcome to the AC, bitch!), the delay(s) at the beginning of the year is par for the course. If you want to wast time here, be brave, and start reading every blog posting here, as far back as possible, then you can make a informed comment about Mr. Matt’s punctuality. Meanthewhiles, we’ll just do what X-Eteers do, and babble randomly amongst ouselves.

And Happy Burpday to Mystie and Shaunfu!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/22/2009 2:02 PM

BgBlyStyle I should be the one thanking you! It’s a mere variation I created on the already widely-accepted term “funbag”. None of my friends liked it, they would always foolishly correct me any time I used it. You are the first person to both accept and applaud it! I thank you profusely and urge you to spread the word of Morfnblorsh!

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 01/22/2009 2:03 PM

HBs to the people I missed :o And yes, once upon a time updates were even less frequent.

Settle down, people. We are more than capable of sailing this vessel on our own.

Don’t go getting all emo on us~

Chestnuts roasted by Neg went there, yes he did Mwuahaha @ 01/22/2009 2:06 PM

In a couple of weeks, I will have been posting here for a whole year. Does that mean I’m no longer a noob?

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 01/22/2009 2:14 PM

mandy – I’m so sorry about your grandma. It sounds like she had a life surrounded by love, and had an especially close relationship with you. Not everyone is lucky enough to live near their relatives these days, and some people get so wrapped up in their own lives that they don’t spend time with them, which is a shame…think of the fun they would have had like you did, to say nothing of learning about your family’s past. I firmly believe that this life is one of many; a place to learn and experience and grow, and when we’re finished here we can still stay connected to those whom we held dear. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you not to be too sad. Of course you’ll miss her (but it sounds like it was painful seeing her go through such a drastic personality change). And I believe that your grandma will be watching over you and guiding you whenever you think of her.

Chestnuts roasted by Trish @ 01/22/2009 2:22 PM

I took a class in college where we all had to sit in a circle and discuss poetry. Across the circle from me sat a tall and handsome boy, and I spent much of my poetry hour lavishing meaningful glances at him.

We went on a date, and it didn’t go well. I’ve never been the kind of person who could feign an interest in someone. But that boy sure did like me!

He would call, and I would gently blow him off. And he’d call again, and I’d kind of ignore the phone. And he’d call again, and finally I was so turned off to the idea of dealing with him that I stopped going to my poetry class.

I was the advent calendar.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 01/22/2009 2:29 PM

The first rule of the Advent Calendar: We do not talk about the Advent Calendar.

The second rule of the Advent Calendar: WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE ADVENT CALENDAR.

Any questions?

Chestnuts roasted by BgBlyStyle @ 01/22/2009 3:02 PM

Passes out crayons and coloring books to keep the children occupied and tells them to quit fussing.

Morfnblorsh, Happy birthday!! Any special plans?

Annette, There’s a euphemism I use that works for either gender: happy zone. Or sometimes fun zone. And I think it’s the British that say twig and berries, which is oddly descriptive – although if I were a man I doubt I’d want anyone to use a twig for size comparison…

Goob, I loved Welcome To The Dollhouse. I saw it on IFN last year – it kind of has a Freaks and Geeks flavor but you’re right, it’s got a dark side to it.

Moony, it’s called The Return of Spinal Tap, although IMDB lists it with an alternative title. It’s got The Folksmen, a concert introduction by Bob Geldorf, some new songs, and some interviews: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123278/.

Razzy the Cat, I never have been able to eat at McDonald’s. BK rules!! My standing order is a #4 with no pickles and a Coke…yum.

And finally…in scrolling back, I can’t believe I missed this comment:

At least the Mail-Aways didn’t make him decode the message “DON’T FORGET TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE”

Son of a bitch!

kingklash…get OUT of the bathroom!!!! Randy needs to GO!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Trish @ 01/22/2009 3:04 PM

BgBlyStyle – I still haven’t even read all there is to read of the thing which we do not speak of! Thus I wouldn’t dream of complaining. I was only pondering an analogy.

I do wish X-E Matt would start up an aquarium again or something, because his domestic animal mishandling over the years has resulted in some damned fine reading.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 01/22/2009 3:09 PM

Lol, my first hatemail. I feel honored Goob. Uhm I fail too see how defending people rights to want the AC updated brought the quality of this down. Plus, that guy was bein a homo, if people wanna say theyd like to see the end of the calander, they should be able too. Just like people can say Matt can do no wrong. They’re both good answers. When they bitch and moan tho when someone else has a differing opinion than theirs, thats gay. Hence…….. HOMOS. Not racist, or sexist, just trying not to use curse words to the worst extent.

LOL ITS A POP CULTURE WEBSITE, THIS AINT NAMBLA. ILL DEFEND PEOPLE FROM THE BOARD NAZI’S SORRY

Chestnuts roasted by bay harbor butcher @ 01/22/2009 3:18 PM

bay harbor butcher, once people mature past the age of about 12, they do in fact realize how offensive it is to use homosexuality as a derogatory term. It shouldn’t matter whether or not there are people in the room who are gay, but the fact that there ARE should make one twice as embarrassed to be so ignorant.

Obviously, no one ever taught you to use manners. That ship has long sailed, but in the interest of maybe one day saving you a little heartache, here’s a piece of advice: Using gay as an insult is like using the n-word as an insult. If that’s the person you want to be, go ahead. Please, do it elsewhere.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 01/22/2009 3:27 PM

p.s. the “children” do not include Rev or BgBlyStyle…they get smelly stickers for good behavior.

Chestnuts roasted by Trish @ 01/22/2009 3:28 PM

What was it Pete Wentz said? Oh yeah…

Gay Is Not A Synonym For Shitty.

Fantastic song, to boot.

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 01/22/2009 3:41 PM

ANOTHER LONG POST:

Rev I had a similar experience. I meet a girl at the mall working at a game store. As I am paying for my purchase I notice she has a Bubble Bobble tattoo on her wrist. I practically grew up with that game, so I was very quick to point out how impressed I was, and called the character by name. Her eyes went wide.

Girl: “Holy crap you know what that’s from! That’s so cool, you’re the first person I ever met that knew what it was from, and you even know his name!”

Me: “Hell yes! I grew up with that game. I refused to use the green one and always played as Bob, the blue one. I’d force my friends to play ol’ Bub the greenie.”

Her eyes exploded again.

Her: “Are you joking!? I always did the same thing but with the green one! My friends wanted to be him but I said no way! You’re like the Bob to my Bub I’ve been searching for!”

I smiled nervously, but she quickly broke the tension.

Her: “Okay, this has to be some weird fluke. I need more proof that you’re awesome. Think fast, who is your favorite Marvel Universe character?”

Me: “Easy! Deadpool, hands down.”

Her: “…..MARRY ME!”

Me: “I can’t say I’d mind that at all!”

We laugh and talk a little more. Things looked good, too good. I decided to leave this one up to fate and play the “set it free if it comes back” thing. She works at the local mall, she must live nearby. Deal with it if I run into her again.

Well, about a month later I run into her again in a comic shop about an hour in the opposite direction from both my house and the mall. We say hi, and share the same nervous grins we did the first time. Small talk takes over, and went eerily too well as usual. I had to bail, this was just too perfect. I quick said my “see you later take care” goodbyes and dashed to the back of the store and pretended to look at the posters.

A few minutes go by and I hear the bells on the door chime. Good, she left, phew. I turn around and see someone else had actually come in, and about two steps away to my left she’s walking up to me. GAH!

Her: “Well, I have a few errands to go run, I just wanted to say bye.”

Me: “Ah, cool, well it was nice seeing you. Good luck on your errands.”

Phew, it’s finally over.

Her: “Oh, and in case you wanna talk or hang out sometime, here’s my number” *hands me folded paper*

GAH! Okay fate, you win. I get the hint. I took her number and waited the obligatory 3 days. Gave her a call on a Saturday afternoon. And…she seemed like a totally different person. What the hell happened? She agreed to go get some coffee with me at the mall though.

So I get there and she says “Do you mind if I do a little shopping while we hang out? I have a few things to pick up.” No problem, or so I thought. The entire time we hung out I felt like a child struggling to keep up with mommy. She walked SO FAST like she was trying to lose me, and I believe she probably was. But then, why did she agree to meet me? Some people are cowards. *shakes head*. She finished her shopping and then told me “You know, I’m kind of full, I had dinner recently, can we skip coffee and have it another time maybe?”. Fine by me, I was kind of embarrassed at this point anyway.

I call her again a few times about a week later, hoping she was just nervous or sick or temporarily replaced by a rude cyborg. She rushed through each phone call, sometimes rushing off because she had “something to do”, other times she’d put me on hold indefinitely. I got a little upset and decided to make my “final call”.

I was perfectly straight with her, calm and collected, by no means angry-sounding. I said “You gave me your number, and we seemed to have a lot in common, but you don’t seem to want to talk to me. That time we hung out felt like you were trying to lose me or something. Did you not want to be friends? Did you give me your number by mistake or something? Bubble Bobble?”

She acted so innocent. “Oh no no, I never did that. I never meant it to come across that way, you can call any time. I just get so busy sometimes. We can be friends, of course!” But it was painfully obvious she was just being patronizing and didn’t have the courage to say “I thought I liked you but I was wrong” or even a simple “You’re right and I’m sorry, but please don’t call again”.

She wouldn’t give me the courtesy of apologizing for her own flippancy, and she completely lead me on.

I learned from it though. I learned not to trust people so much. It sucks because I was right to be suspicious from the beginning, and if I’d only held out long enough and not trusted her I wouldn’t had to have gone through the pain of a childish prank.

I will forever live with the pain of knowing that I’ve been Rev’d.

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 01/22/2009 3:51 PM

Rev: You’ve practically become the head cheerleader around here (but nicer, if a little kooky like the rest of us).

Trish: You’ve forgot to pass out Ecto Coolers and Teddy Grahams. Children like us get fussy when we’re hungry/thirsty.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 01/22/2009 3:51 PM

Morfnblorsh,

Maybe you had crud in the corners of your mouth, like the boy in my poetry class did. White foamy stuff. I was so afraid he’d try to put those creamy lips on me I didn’t know what to do!

I’d hate to thing an act of cruel heartbreak would be named after me. If it makes you feel any better, when I Rev my husband, I’m doing something totally different and he never minds.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 01/22/2009 4:00 PM

Aw Rev I didn’t really mean it, I was just teasing you. Even our “vague-internet-acquaintance relationship” we have is 9 billion percent more personable than this girl was to me IN PERSON.

I damn well better have had crud mudsliding out of my armpits with such force that she could hear it happening over the phone for her to treat me that way. There’s just no excuse for such bait and switch. Even as shallow and horrible as it would have been if she answered the phone with “Don’t ever call me, ever again.” It would still be better than the way she handled it.

“Heeeheehee! I like you! I really like you and you should call me.”

“Really?”

“No, I’m actually a Hollywood talent scout and I was trying to find someone with a really convincing hopeful expression for our next Christmas Miracle film.”

“Oh… Well, did I get the part?”

“No.”

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 01/22/2009 4:16 PM

Oh, I can’t believe I almost forgot. You guys be tripping with your “Children of Men sucked” stuff. Perhaps some pacing problems, if you really look for something to pick on, but once that third act starts? Pure cinematic perfection. And if you don’t agree, I swear I will turn this car RIGHT AROUND and NO Chuck E. Cheese’s.

Happy bday Morfnblorsh!

mandy, I’m so sorry about your loss. I hope these first awful days go easily and that soon you get past the sadness and are able to just feel the joy that she brought to your life. It doesn’t go away just because she’s gone, I promise. You guys will be a team forever <3

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 01/22/2009 4:54 PM

Hmm… I hope Matt posts again soon. I have a strong aversion to conflict, and this ‘worst movie’ topic makes me feel all squirmy inside when people disagree.

I WOULD LIKE US ALL TO GET ALONG IN AWKWARD AND DYSFUNCTIONAL HARMONY!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 01/22/2009 5:05 PM

I don’t think anybody is truly “arguing” when they disagree with the movie choices in this thread. Everyone’s just having fun. It’s the equivalent of yelling “COCK-GOBLIN!” or “SOCK-FUCKER!” at your friend while he or she is beating you at a video game.

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 01/22/2009 5:30 PM

I know it’s all in good fun. I just strongly dislike disagreement. Thatcan become problematic when trolling this vast “internet.”

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 01/22/2009 5:54 PM

I recently saw one of the best “its-so-bad-its-good” movies i’d seen in a while. I went to my friends house for Movie Night, a weekly gathering, and we watched The Story of Ricky. It had terrible acting, a terribly thought out plot, the dubbing was laughable to say the least, but this made it all the better somehow… excessive gore to the point of being silly was the high point i think… its a movie set in a prison, where all the prisoners just kind of wander around and do whatever they want, and then some stuff happens, then someone dies horribly, that happens a few times, then ricky kicks everyones ass! oh yeah, and theres an overweight assistant warden with one eye and hooks for hands who has a porno movie library in his office… honestly i cant begin to describe how wonderful this movie was to those of you who havnt seen it, so you’ll just have to go and find it somewhere…

Chestnuts roasted by TOmmy! @ 01/22/2009 6:00 PM

Rhino I disagree.

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 01/22/2009 6:05 PM

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

*head explodes*

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 01/22/2009 6:15 PM

More importantly, why was this thread called “7777″? I still haven’t figured it out.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 01/22/2009 6:26 PM

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