Empire Records is pretty bad. Liv Tyler is awful, plus it’s just full of horrible Gen X stereotype hipster vomit. Terrible movie. There’s worse ones, but that’s all I’ve got.

Braveheart is one of the few movies that I walked out of theater on. I still don’t know how it ends… I imagine it’s with me yelling at everyone else watching it. I’m not sure why it rubbed me the wrong way to such a degree.

7777! OMG!

Good to see you back, Matt.

Oh and Meccapocolypse… Monkey Shines rocked. The paralyzed sex scene is engraved in my mind forever.

Zombie 3d must have basically been made by an amateur filmmaker as a high school project. Basically they took the plot of Night of the Living Dead, took out all the racial overtones, and made it a bad grunge music video from 1992. Now, anyone going into a movie named something like Zombie 3d should know it’ll be bad. I thought, just ridiculous, maybe in a funny way, but not this. Nothing this bad could ever make it to a theater. So I thought. I can’t even say watching it end was good, because the 3d of the zombies coming to get you was so horrible it made me groan, audibly. Second would be Happy flight, but since anyone primarily English speaking will be spared the pain of a movie with no less than 64 plots(not sure I’m exaggerating either), all of them uninteresting, I’ll just leave it at that, so the primordial bad doesn’t seep into other parts of the world.

…and by 17 year drought Matt I hope you meant 17 days. Unless you’ve been time travelling without our consent.

Ok and after spitting out my drivel and thrice posting I’ve come to a decision on my worst movies that I’ve seen and actually walked out of. Didn’t even bother demanding my money back.

Night at the Roxbury

Ghost Rider

I didn’t ask for my money back because I really should have known better.

NatR: Because I realized I was watching a 2 hour SNL skit. Those are only good in short doses.

Ghost Rider: It just got retarded. I don’t know how to quite put but my finger on it but I knew I just had to leave and find something better to do.

Clearly I have made some bad decisions.

Anything with Julia Roberts…she can’t act, and she’s really not pretty at all.

Contact…I’d rather gouge my own eyes out with a dull rusty spoon, than sit through that Jodi Foster crap fest one more time!! 2 hours to find out the godamn alien is her father…..bleeaaggghhh!!!!

Scary Movie, and by extension all of its sequels and every Freidberg/Selzter-produced “______ Movie” that’s ever come out. They get worse and worse each time, and even their target audience of idiots is starting to realize they’re not funny, but people still pay to see them. These guys are literally conning movie audiences out of their money, and they need to be stopped by any means.

There have been a few movies that I have turned off in the middle of watching them, but I don’t remember their titles. They were just so bad and forgettable, that is exactly what I did. The one I do remember hating and turning off to do something more fun, like pick fuzzballs off a sweater, was League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. What a snooze-fest.

Boy pulls stunt from “A Christmas Story”

http://news.aol.com/article/dared-to-lick-boys-tongue-sticks-to-pole/308259

There’s this movie currently on HBO called “My Zinc Bed” that’s basically lecturing us about Alcohol addiction and AA. Just very boring.

I recently saw No Country for Old Men and that sucked. We don’t see the showdown, Woody Harrelson is wasted in a minor role, that stupid speech at the end.

National Lampoons Movie Madness- Just not funny

Hostel, Part 2- Gore for gore sakes, and I liked the first one.

Batman Forever- If you’re gonna go campy, just go full camp like they did in Batman and Robin, which I kinda like.

Man with the Screaming Brain- Bruce Campbell can’t make everything good.

Chariots of Fire- BORING

I couldn’t make it 30 minutes into “3 Extremes”

Yes, I am a Cyborg- Good luck with this one.

Man who Fell to Earth- Wanna see David Bowie naked, this is the movie for you.

Bug- This is kinda a strange one in that it was marketed as a horror film, but that only happens in the last 30 minutes. Otherwise, it’s a rather good film on lonely people, but when it turns into a horror film it gets bad.

Joshua- If you’re gonna do an evil kid film, make sure the kid you hire actually does something evil, and not a a lame twist at the end.

RV- Not funny

Man of the Year- Is actually a funny movie when it all of a sudden turns into a thriller for some reason.

Legend of Bagger Vance- Boring

Wild Wild West- Just plain bad. Great theme song, though.

The last two Matrix films- YAWN.

Star Wars sequels- I actually fell asleep during one.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning and The Next Generation- Just plain bad.

House of 1000 Corpses- Also bad. Interestingly, I actually like the sequel “The Devils Rejects.”

Never liked the Ring or Grudge films.

Stephen Kings Night Flier and Desperation- BORING

King Kong 1976- Horrible remake.

Fargo- Not funny.

Stepford Wives- Not funny

Even Cowgirls get the blues- Boring

Every M Night film after “Sixth Sense”

Wes Cravens New Nightmare- Needed more Freddy

Avengers- Couldn’t make it through.

Ladykillers- Not funny

Hitch- Not funny or romantic

I love “good” bad movies, but the down side is that I see a lot of BAD bad movies in the hunt. One of the biggest punches to the crotch I’ve seen in a long time is the Nick Cage version of The Wicker Man. Most BAD bad movies leave me feeling slightly unhappy, this one made me violently angry and full of hate. I would like to personally bitch slap Nick Cage just to teach him a lesson. Seriously. GRRRRRR!!!!

Someone saw Happy Flight?! What are the odds.. I went to the theater to go see that (I’m currently living in Japan)!

Amazing.

As far as movies I’ve really hated, I’d have to say ‘Blackhole’. My brother has sworn it’s a classic, ‘good, bad movie’.. but dear god, I just die inside a little more whenever it’s on.

there have been so many truly-bad-and-not-in-a-fun-way movies over the years but the last one that really REALLY made me mad was Scanner Darkly because …

a) there was absolutely no reason for it to be animated… bad imac rotoscoped animations worked for Waking Life so Richard Linklater decided everything he made from then on needed it. how much sense does it make to film all the scenes with live actors, and then trace over them in after effects and then NOT CHANGE ANYTHING ELSE!?!?

b) most of the acting was horrible… the only person who did a half decent job in the movie was Robert Downy jr.

c) most importantly, it destroyed every important theme of the book! it cut every scene that would make the story make sense and made a great novel about justified paranoia, isolation, dependency, freedom and justice, and turned it into a drug freakout film for people to watch while they’re high….

(stepping down from soapbox now)

nice to have ya back Matt!

I’d have to say “View from the Top”, as it was the first movie I paid for after leaving my movie theater job for college, and I felt so cheated by what I paid for. I erased most of my memory of that experience, but it was dismal.

Most movies that people consider “awful” I probably own and love. You want Troll 2? Got it. The complete works of Ed Wood including one of his pornos? Ditto.

Actually, Roseann sang the anthem first, and then grabbed her crotch after. Matt, great to see you
back Are you really building a robot? And if so,
is he part of the Advent Calendar?

Con Air was mostly good. One bad part is the
unbelievable accent Nicholas Cage used for
the film. Many people blasted Last Action
Hero. Robocop 2 was okay, until the end.
“Patience Lewis, we’re only human.” Don’t
get me started on that crap tv show that
came later.

Not Another Teen Movie, really bad, and most
of the films that parody other films like
Epic Movie, Disaster Movie (I haven’t seen
it though), and Scary Movie 4. Scream 3.
Wes, when they start spoofing one of your
movie series, it’s time to stop making
films for the series.

The Grudege films. Sarah Michelle Gellar, if
you can’t handle ghosts, then what good are
you in fighting the darkness?

The Last Samurai is showing on AMC right now.

Hi, Matt. Welcome back. Do what you can when you can.

Bad movie? “Quest for Camelot.” This was one of the movies Warner Bros released in the wake of the popularity of the Disney animation boom in the mid-late 90s, and whoa, was it bad. Bad animation. Bad acting (Eric Idle as one half of a two-headed dragon was defeated by the awful attempt at a “comedy” number). Cheesy music. Cliched leads that even Disney wouldn’t have bothered with. I didn’t walk out of the theater, but in retrospect, I really wish I had. It might have been more fun. Hell, I had a better time seeing “Batman and Robin” with my sister. That was weird. This was just lousy.

JLAJRC-I assume you meant “Star Wars prequels” not “sequels”? I find it hard to believe you hated Empire Strikes Back,yet I can easily picture you disliking films of a more JarJarian nature.

Anyway,my least favorite is Cloverfield. They hardly even showed the fucking thing. It’s 2 hours of the worst kind of hipster assholes out there,talking to each other about petty myspace shit,and two minutes of a monster. The parts where the little monsters attack the douches were just stale,we’ve seen it Gamera 2 AND Godzilla vs. Desotroyah,hell it’s not really that different from Alien. Even if you count the little monsters as monsters,it’s hardly action packed. Cloverfield had less time on screen than the Mountain Dew logo.

Where did Cloverfield come from?
Was he defeated? How?
Why did I waste money on this?

It’s just a big budget CGI enhanced version of The Lady Or The Tiger. Total Bullshit.

“You know who Superman is?” WTF?
Not to mention,the camera guy is called “Hud”,because you see it through his perspective,LIEK XBOX GET IT?!1? Except a “HUD” doesn’t refer to perspective,it means “Heads Up Display”,and I didn’t see any info on ammo or life left or score or anything like that.
Thanks Matt,now I’m pissed all over again.

I heard of this movie Michael Jackson was in. It has never been released. Matt, this topic is just like
that worst movie we ever saw on the big screen idea
of mine we did a few months ago. I’m not complaining
about it. We should do something like this more
often.

That whole Watchmen lawsuit has been settled, so it
looks like the movie premeire is back on. Silk
Spectre II is so beautiful. Earth Girls Are Easy.
Geena Davis is so stupid in that film. A good
example of how not to make a musical. As much as I
like Monty Python and The Holy Grail, the ending is
stupid.

The worst movie I’ve seen recently would be Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I’m able to go along and suspend disbelief to a certain extent, but this film went too far. The main characters walked through the middle of an open room with people firing automatic weapons at them from the balconies above and they NEVER GOT HIT EVEN ONCE! They were able to shoot everyone and walk away unscathed. This made the movie seem cartoonish and unrealistic in my opinion.

My least favorite movie would have to be “The Year Matt Didn’t Finish The Goddamned Advent Calendar (Which Is 2009)”, starring the late Jim Varney.

That’s an interesting point of view on Scanner Darkly, TOmmy. I thought it was the closest any movie has come to capturing the essence of a PKD story — including Blade Runner — and really, that’s what PKD’s all about for me: the mood. The surreality of his worlds and the sense of absolute futility in his protaganists was something that’s missing from every movie made from his work, except the above two mentioned.

I’m a big fan of rotoscoping too, though – blame it on Bakshi.

My most hated movie for a long time? The Brave Little Toaster.

Mine would be Duplex. For one, It was a movie where bad things happened to Ben Affleck and Drew Barrymore. What was worse was that you were supposed to root for them!

Also, it was pretty goddamn awful. It’s the only movie that I have never finished watching.

Great to have you back, Matt.

I’m surprised no one has mentioned Clark Griswold getting Arcano-ized.