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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Christmas Eve Eve.

The Advent Calendar has been updated through 12/22. I'm going to try to finish #23 between now and tomorrow morning -- try -- but I'm not sure I'll make it. If you've seen the length of the last few, I don't think you can blame me. :) Whatever I don't finish, I'll resume right after Christmas. Late? Yes, but at least you'll have something to do during those cold, sad days after Santa packs it in for another year of bear-like hibernation. (Plus, I think #22 is both suitably celebratory and cliffhangerish to last us a couple of days, if it comes to that.)

The holiday season has blitzed through in what feels like hours, and I'm sitting here wondering how the fuck it's possible that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. It's kind of mind-blowing that by this time tomorrow night, I'll be drunk, full of rumaki and trying to remain upright in my sister's crowded living room while kids zip past with still-wrapped Wii games, screaming loudly. I can't wait.

On Christmas Day, the woman's family is coming here for dinner, and we still aren't prepared. Case in point: A 24-inch Playmobil circus tent remains on the dining room table. We haven't even gone food shopping yet, which bodes for an interesting dinner menu. I assume we'll end up serving jelly beans and toast a la A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Nobody will appreciate the humor in it.

And despite my best efforts, or at least my best half-hearted efforts, I still haven't even finished getting presents for everyone. Thank God for gift cards and holiday-themed scratch-off Lotto cards. Rumors persist that a number of six-year-olds will be receiving them for Christmas.

I'm pumped. Christmas Eve is my favorite day of the year, and nothing can mess that up.

That's our Christmas tree. By the end of the night, ten thousand presents will be underneath it. (Still haven't wrapped them, and I'm honestly desperate enough to comb the paper for some gift wrapping service that will charge me a hundred bucks to cover things in tearaway paper.)

It's a great tree. I feel like I haven't looked at it enough this year, but perhaps that's how I can justify keeping it up until April. Right now, we're writing shopping lists, listening to Christmas songs blare over a dusty old stereo, drinking spiked Cranberry Splash and trying to find the right place to keep my coconut crab taxidermy while company pours in and out of our apartment. It's an atypical and beautiful Christmas, no matter the bullshit.

I want to do one more blog entry before I call it quits until 12/26, but in case I can't, let's get it out of the way now: Merry Christmas, you're all awesome, and you're the reason that I can still enjoy doing this ridiculous website after almost a decade. Have an amazing holiday, and come back prepared to share stories.

Comments are open -- talk about your Christmas!

Posted by Matt on 12/23/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 229 comments

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MinorDetail: Hints were dropped, but the reality is that you didn’t miss anything. The idea is that after their massive triumph last year, Hare and Claire (who teamed up at the very bottom of the last entry in 2007, if you missed it) struck back, destroyed their house and sent them on the run. Giant crabs were alluded to throughout the year, and also during this year’s Calendar, as how they did it. (And in #22, we finally see the crabs — and we also learned that they were teamed with Arcano, a super powered demon guy.)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/24/2008 5:00 PM


Kid Nicky There is a wii speak channel now…if you register friends that have the wii speak as well, you can all voice chat together like skype kind of. Its gonna be used for a game called The Conduit…and some others that are yet to be named. Its not BAD for 30 I guess…people are hoping a patch will be available so people can use it during brawl and mario kart.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 12/24/2008 5:08 PM


I sure hope they defeat the giant crabs. I don’t want the world to end on my BIRTHDAY.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 12/24/2008 5:43 PM


Merry Christmas everyone. I am trapped in a house with all my relatives. If I get a Red Rider BB gun tomorrow, someone’s getting shot in the ass.
If you need me, I’ll be boozing in the basement watching A Christmas Story while wrapping presents.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 12/24/2008 5:43 PM


Just finished wrappin my gift to my momma. I still have SO MUCH MORE TO DO! And I don’t think I’m the only one either. lol.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 12/24/2008 5:48 PM


Everyone’s a critic.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back it On Up 13 @ 12/24/2008 6:29 PM


MAtt Merry Christmas. You’re hard work during the past 10 years and especially during the past few Holiday seasons with the AC are greatly appreciated.

Merry Christmas to all the X-Eers. Be safe, get presents, and in the case of those old enough, get drunk and enjoy the friends and family around you.

I know I will.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 12/24/2008 6:46 PM


Merry Christmas everyone! Matt, i’ve been a huge fan of the site for years, and i’m glad i finally started posting on here. You all are definitely some of the nicest people in internet land.

Also, props for saying Christmas Eve is your favorite day of the year…i know everyone loves getting shit on Christmas (and giving it), but i think i like looking forward to it even more than actually doing it.

Chestnuts roasted by guidedbyvenkman @ 12/24/2008 7:04 PM


wonderfull AC! it made the last month seem fun, instead of horribly rushed and chaotic. i had to work today, with a line out the door all morning of stressed people. CHRISTMAS MAGIC!!!

Chestnuts roasted by stina @ 12/24/2008 7:07 PM


Hey guys, is the jukebox down for you?

Chestnuts roasted by Bartleby @ 12/24/2008 7:17 PM


Thanks for another great year Matt! Best holiday wishes to you and your family!

Chestnuts roasted by Mikey Spaghetti @ 12/24/2008 7:51 PM


Merry Christmas Matt- and everyone else!! I love, love, LOVE this site and it really enhances my holiday and pretty much everyday. Thanks so much!!!

Chestnuts roasted by cb @ 12/24/2008 7:55 PM


Thanks Matt, for everything you do to keep Christmas alive and awesome! Long Live X-E!

Chestnuts roasted by Mal @ 12/24/2008 8:00 PM


Merry Christmas movie house! Merry Christmas X-E! :) I just found a nice present in my stocking. A gift card. I LOVE gift cards.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 12/24/2008 8:02 PM


Merry Xmas Matt & all!

I am enjoying some Mad Elf and High Def Yule Log while streaming tunes via Media Monkey.

Hoping for one last xmas eve entry the evening!

Chestnuts roasted by JBUNGIE @ 12/24/2008 8:09 PM


Everyone that asks about coconut crabs disgust me. I feel these people are the ones that ruin intelligent well written movies by saying they didn’t get it. Matt was trying to leave things up to the imagination. Augh.

It’s funny how preparing food the night before and then eating it the next day makes me feel like it’s a major holiday. Isn’t that funny how that works?

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 12/24/2008 8:16 PM


Merry Christmas all! Matt, thanks for all you do. You have no idea how many hours of work downtime you have made joyful for me. I am here all the damn time, it seems. You rock. Fellow X-Eers, you all tickle the snot out of me. I hope you’re all getting the very best out of this Christmas Eve night! Even if the very best means you’re hiding behind the computer for a short break from the family like me (it’s the little things, right?)

Chestnuts roasted by velouria_78 @ 12/24/2008 8:22 PM


HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Chestnuts roasted by gingela5 @ 12/24/2008 8:56 PM


Well I’m off to a Christmas party. I’ll be back. Hope ya’ll are havin a goodun so far. Matt, just wanted to say thanks for all the entertainment you give me for free! :) Really appreciate it.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 12/24/2008 9:18 PM


Long time reader, first time poster… just wanted to say thanks Matt for once again making the holiday entertaining – the Advent Calendar is quickly becoming a Christmas tradition of mine.

A Very Merry Christmas to all.

Chestnuts roasted by The Chad @ 12/24/2008 9:42 PM


I cannot believe its going to be Christmas already in a few hours. I remember as a kid December felt like the longest month of the year from all the excitement and anticipation. Now it feels like I no sooner eat some Thanksgiving turkey and BAM I’m exchanging presents. I think after you turn 21 time speeds up. Oh well, the holiday’s aren’t over yet, so its time for me to go out and have some fun.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!!! And a big thanks to Matt for the advent calendar. It definitely makes December that much more fun and has really become a Christmas tradition with me.

Chestnuts roasted by Jack @ 12/24/2008 10:42 PM


HOLY SHIT!!!!
I just now put 2 and 2 together,about the little clues on the site during the year regarding crabs!
MATT YOU ARE THE MAN.

Jack,you’re not alone. This is the fastest holiday season of all time,I think. At least in my lifetime.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 12/24/2008 10:55 PM


Hey, did any fellow Canadian’s see the He-man She-ra Christmas Special was on YTV tonight? I didn’t have a chance to watch it, but I saw it was on. Classic Stuff!

We just had a night of homemade pizza and Chocolate with my Mom and her SO. I just finished wrapping gifts for the kids and now I am off to bed for another busy day at the in-laws.

Merry Christmas again!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 12/24/2008 11:05 PM


Merry Christmas everyone! Be sure to make the most of it, since in about 24 hours the radio stations will be playing normal music again, the Christmas movies will be back on the shelf, and the Rudolph figures will go back into the closet for another year.

The Advent was awesome as usual!!!! I am on the edge of my seat to see how it turns out.

BTW, to whoever mentioned they were making Oreo Balls a few weeks ago here on the blog… I gotta say a big THANK YOU. I Googled it, since I had never heard of such a thing before. I was then intrigued at a recipe that involved smashing a bag of Oreos into powder. I made ‘em for my big family get-together and they were a huge hit!

Looking forward to the “Fallout” thread now :)

Chestnuts roasted by Jon @ 12/24/2008 11:10 PM


Happy Christmas Eve everyone! X-E has become part of my annual Christmas tradition (not an easy thing to crack) and it just wouldn’t be the same without you guys reflecting about Christmas with me. I can’t wait to hear what all you guys get tomorrow.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff Mack @ 12/24/2008 11:11 PM


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