The Advent Calendar has been updated through 12/22. I’m going to try to finish #23 between now and tomorrow morning — try — but I’m not sure I’ll make it. If you’ve seen the length of the last few, I don’t think you can blame me. 
Whatever I don’t finish, I’ll resume right after Christmas. Late? Yes, but at least you’ll have something to do during those cold, sad days after Santa packs it in for another year of bear-like hibernation. (Plus, I think #22 is both suitably celebratory and cliffhangerish to last us a couple of days, if it comes to that.)
The holiday season has blitzed through in what feels like hours, and I’m sitting here wondering how the fuck it’s possible that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. It’s kind of mind-blowing that by this time tomorrow night, I’ll be drunk, full of rumaki and trying to remain upright in my sister’s crowded living room while kids zip past with still-wrapped Wii games, screaming loudly. I can’t wait.
On Christmas Day, the woman’s family is coming here for dinner, and we still aren’t prepared. Case in point: A 24-inch Playmobil circus tent remains on the dining room table. We haven’t even gone food shopping yet, which bodes for an interesting dinner menu. I assume we’ll end up serving jelly beans and toast a la A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Nobody will appreciate the humor in it.
And despite my best efforts, or at least my best half-hearted efforts, I still haven’t even finished getting presents for everyone. Thank God for gift cards and holiday-themed scratch-off Lotto cards. Rumors persist that a number of six-year-olds will be receiving them for Christmas.
I’m pumped. Christmas Eve is my favorite day of the year, and nothing can mess that up.
That’s our Christmas tree. By the end of the night, ten thousand presents will be underneath it. (Still haven’t wrapped them, and I’m honestly desperate enough to comb the paper for some gift wrapping service that will charge me a hundred bucks to cover things in tearaway paper.)
It’s a great tree. I feel like I haven’t looked at it enough this year, but perhaps that’s how I can justify keeping it up until April. Right now, we’re writing shopping lists, listening to Christmas songs blare over a dusty old stereo, drinking spiked Cranberry Splash and trying to find the right place to keep my coconut crab taxidermy while company pours in and out of our apartment. It’s an atypical and beautiful Christmas, no matter the bullshit.
I want to do one more blog entry before I call it quits until 12/26, but in case I can’t, let’s get it out of the way now: Merry Christmas, you’re all awesome, and you’re the reason that I can still enjoy doing this ridiculous website after almost a decade. Have an amazing holiday, and come back prepared to share stories.
Comments are open — talk about your Christmas!
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
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