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Jingle Hell.

I'm not sure if it's possible for me to have more to do between now and Christmas Eve, but I've decided to take it in stride.

I'm lying. I'm freaking. And I'm taking it out on everyone.

Right now, our main priority is whipping the apartment into shape for Christmas Day, since we'll be hosting dinner for the woman's family. I'm not really worried about the food aspect, because one way or another, that'll get done. What's concerning us is that our apartment is more of a place that should be studied than occupied, and trying to get it to the point where over a dozen folks can sit without setting off a chain reaction that will lead to some pointy statue falling off a shelf and killing someone is a serious challenge.

Whatever, we'll get there. I still prefer hosting Christmas dinner to going somewhere else, because it justifies all the money and effort we pumped into decorating the house with ceramic Santas and festive tablecloths. Plus, it's fun to drive the action. I like to play God. Perhaps I will spell "MERRY X-MAS" out on a large serving tray using nothing but prosciutto-wrapped breadsticks. And I'll spend Christmas telling everyone not to eat them because I worked so hard on it.

A few of you have asked for a status report on my Chia Christmas Tree, and...UGH. I don't know where I went wrong. I had such high hopes for this thing, but it just refused to sprout a full coat no matter what I did.

I have to take my share of the blame. I was so frantic about making my Chia grow correctly that I just wouldn't stop doing stuff to it. I kept adding water, kept changing its lighting, kept moving it to warmer/colder areas -- it was like a simple zit transformed into a volcanic lesion by my own hand. Had I just let the thing be, maybe it wouldn't look like the jpeg attachment of an e-mail to Chia Headquarters, demanding a refund.

But it isn't all bad. It certainly won't be used as a table centerpiece, but it's not like I need to hide the thing in fear of mass ridicule. Nobody has to know that it's already lived a full life -- I'll just pretend that it's still in its formative stage. Yeah, that's the ticket. Formative stage.

It's kinda symbolic of my Christmas season as a whole -- overworked and messy, but still somehow pretty and peaceful. Or maybe I just refuse to shit on a Chia Pet that comes with a light-up Christmas star. You don't burn bibles.

I'll leave you with a little reading material from X-E's Christmas past:

Santa's 900 Hotline!
A Very Brady Christmas!
A Family Circus Christmas!
The Pac-Man Christmas Special!
The Ninja Turtles Christmas Special!

Happy SNT. I have muuuuch to doooo.

Posted by Matt on 12/20/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 249 comments

I’m still here, too. I’ve been brawling again. I need 3 more trophies to get the trophy that you get for getting 500 trohpies. Those enemy trophies are such an enormous bitch.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 12/21/2008 4:24 AM

I wonder if Matts still takin pictures, or has passed slick out. Probably the second one.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 12/21/2008 5:18 AM

ULTRAMAN I think I got better at the end! I will seek my vengeance when I catch up to you! I would think it would get boring winning by 5 miles every single time you race against me? It reminded me when my cousin and I would play a game called double dribble for the NES it’s a basketball game for those of you that can’t figure that out lol. He would kill me every time. Like if I got one basket it would be a miracle. And he would get over 100. Anyway he would BEG to play me and I would tell him no because it wasn’t fun for me to play against him and get killed. I never got more then one or two baskets :(

Kid Nicky So that is who I was playing against earlier! I was wondering who you were. I knew if it was Aaron it would of just said Aaron lol! If it didn’t give me a blank slate as far as information is concerned I would play against you and ULTRAMAN as Michael Myers. In the Wii Yourself channel I found a great Michael Myers Wii that is super creepy.

Rev. What did I tell ya in October when you said you were going to be so sad when Halloween is over? I told you not to worry about it! But after Christmas well… I consider it a vacation. I like the slow times as much as the busy times at X-E. No offense guys but I do sometimes want to be interested in other things online and not be so emotionally invested in all that is this place.

Also Rev. thank you for your words the other day about perfume that is what my best friend Harry meant exactly. He said that the higher ups are impressed by that stuff and going to job interviews it might impress them. It’s not what you hear it’s what the person meant. He said that he wouldn’t change a thing about me it’s just the world judges accordingly sometimes.

Matt I haven’t been really heavily listening to the Christmas Jukebox this year. I get an RSS feed of episodes of Loveline I so haven’t been listening to. So when it’s time to turn on something to listen to when I am busy with something I think it would be more “productive” to catch up on those and not listen to the Jukebox.

But I have it on right now! Just you having all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth on the jukebox is enough to make me feel like an adorable little kid again. My Granddad growing up would sing that song to me. Out of my two sisters and I he always chose me as the favorite.

I was the youngest and was called a spoiled little brat several times by my second youngest sister in fights and well I wasn’t as spoiled as I could of been but I did get away with some things sometimes. But he would always sing that song when asking what I wanted for Christmas. He would sometimes ask if I wanted something with Homer or Bart on it because when I was a kid I was obsessed with the Simpsons and was evil with my greed for merchandise. I am still a fan of course but I have other things I am interested in as well.

I think that is enough from me. I am going to do some housecleaning and I have a sugar cookie mix I am going to make sugar drop cookies with. I am more in the mood for fluffy and sugary cookies then the hard cut out kind you let kids smear frosting all over.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 12/21/2008 5:36 AM

goob: Hope I didn’t discourage you from playin me again. Cause I had a REALLY fun time playin against you! :) I just tend to lose myself when I’m playin Mario Kart. If you want, i’ll hold off till you get some more practice. Also, it’s not at all surprising that i’m as good as I am. I have after all been playin it since it first came out. It’s not a hard game to master. Keep at it. :)

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 12/21/2008 5:55 AM

ULTRAMAN I understand. I kept on telling myself don’t let it get to you you’ve only had this game for less then a week! I just have a pride thing where if someone is kicking my ass at something I don’t want to play that long. I tend to forget that it’s the fun in playing and not winning or losing.

When I was growing up I played with my cousins hide and seek a lot. I was always the one that was tagged first out of the 5 of us and always was it it seemed. We changed the rules so you could only be it 3 times and then the person that was it 3 times picked whoever they wanted. That rule was made for me because I didn’t want to play and be it all the time because I never could catch anybody. But I did get aggravated because I consistently was the first one to get tagged. I would storm off and not want to play anymore, that was a common reason why we stopped playing hide and seek. I’m proud of myself though ULTRAMAN for sticking with playing with you for so long!

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 12/21/2008 7:23 AM

The Chia Tree looks terrible! I wonder what went wrong, it looks sadder than Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree.

Chestnuts roasted by Palmerholic @ 12/21/2008 8:22 AM

Goob: Glad to heart that. Just keep practicing. That’s what I did. Also, see if you can beat my time trial ghosts I sent you. If you don’t win at first, don’t worry, you can keep tryin as MANY times as you want! :)

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 12/21/2008 9:14 AM

Yes, Happy Yule indeed. I can’t believe it’s time for the battle between the Oak and the Holly King already! I’m a little saddened because I totally bought this huge lot of packs of herbs on eBay and was gonna make magickal gift bags for everyone in my group, but the package hasn’t shown. Alas. Maybe I should just go to the Dollar Tree and get everyone a pair of socks and tell them I’ve just saved them from being eaten by the Yule Cat. But honestly, I got my Secret Santa present and made sure the hubby-to-be got his so it should be enough.

I’m making turkey for the first time to take to my Yule party this afternoon…. provided the weather peeks up so I can drive without killing myself. I remembered to take the bag of gizzards out and pull the plastic off, so really I don’t see how I could fuck this up unless a swarm of dogs comes in and eats my turkey.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 12/21/2008 10:04 AM

Mystie
so really I don’t see how I could fuck this up unless a swarm of dogs comes in and eats my turkey.

BUMPUSES!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/21/2008 10:24 AM

Attention Everyone
I need a little help because I know if anyone will know this it’s someone on here. A friend claims to remember a christmas cartoon that was black and white. She claimed that man had stopped telling the story of baby Jesus and that war and stuff had basically wiped out mankind and that animals told the Christmas story now.

Any ideas or was this likely a fever dream?

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 12/21/2008 11:58 AM

Goob,Ultraman is the man at that game. It’s not an uncommon occurance for me to spend an hour trying to beat his Time Trial time on a given track.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 12/21/2008 12:09 PM

thejyav:

I believe that was Hugh Harmon’s “Peace on Earth.” It was released in 1939.

Chestnuts roasted by Sprocket @ 12/21/2008 12:10 PM

And you can watch the holiday goodness on YOUTUBE:

Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 12/21/2008 12:22 PM

Matt, it looks like your Chia grew some mold and killed some of the seeds. I would give it another go if I were you.

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick N. @ 12/21/2008 12:54 PM

Thejyav= It was in color.

Chestnuts roasted by LoneStar76 @ 12/21/2008 1:36 PM

ITA with Patrick N, I don’t think all is lost in terms of the Christmas tree. Rinse it off once the holiday is over, then try again next year! Or you can rinse it off now, and see what you get in three days, however I’ve never grown a chia and have no idea how long it takes them to grow.

Chestnuts roasted by Tresjolie9 @ 12/21/2008 3:14 PM

They should find a way to incorporate The Clapper and Chia Pet together next year, I’m totally serious about this.

Chestnuts roasted by Palmerholic @ 12/21/2008 6:26 PM

#19 is up.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/21/2008 6:29 PM

And it kicks so much ass, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Russo @ 12/21/2008 6:42 PM

Is it me, or was there no Lego gift today?

Chestnuts roasted by Boner Jams 03 @ 12/21/2008 6:47 PM

Nah, they need to combine the Clapper, the Chia Pet, the Ove Glove and the Creosote Sweeping Log. And the Empire Carpets guy. All together.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 12/21/2008 7:02 PM

Sprocket & Steve
Thanks alot I told them that you guys would know and after lots of talk and trying to figure it out and it took this board 12 minutes. nice.

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 12/21/2008 7:02 PM

Read 19…now all i want for Christmas is a fiery protest torch. Preferably delivered by someone named Texas Mandarin

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 12/21/2008 7:13 PM

I really want to have a reason to yell “Texas Mandarin, I’ll have your head!” now.

#19 was great!

Chestnuts roasted by glowsocks @ 12/21/2008 7:21 PM

Yeah, the Calendar is shaping up to be quite the event this year. All the twists and turns of a Korean soap opera.

I vote that Hare and Claire should actually be able to take over the calendars…or perhaps just one…and then raise what ever comes out by their evil ways. Twice the drama — all of the awesomeness. It can also be a Christmas miracle as well when is captured once again.

Great job on it this year — feels like no time has past at all since 2007. Good luck in preping the party and there can never be a shortage of holiday M&M’s!

Chestnuts roasted by Eggnoggy @ 12/21/2008 8:14 PM

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