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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

I kissed a deer.

The Advent Calendar has been updated for 12/2. Actually, it was updated many hours ago, which is another reason why you shouldn't rely on X-E's RSS feed to tell you when to come here. You should come here every fifteen minutes, all day long.

I've been staring at these "Tiny Lites" sets for several years now. No idea why it's taken me so long to pick one up, considering that I'm the world's most enthusiastic proponent of Christmas lights. Perhaps this is proof of my rumored masochism.

Though the idea of tiny-sized Christmas lights is phenomenal, it is apparently a concept still not perfected. The main issue is that the wires are just as big as those from a regular-sized set. This seriously limits the amount of potential goofy uses for tiny Christmas lights, which while at the store seemed positively endless.

Another issue is the batteries. How the frig can a set of Christmas lights with bulbs no bigger than match heads require four "AA" batteries to run? I could power a small island nation with less expense. This is like some low-rent 2nd grade science fair project, where a generator the size of a car battery is used to make potatoes sink in water.

The ridiculous amount of batteries paired with the ridiculous wire size denies "Tiny Lites" their expected thumbs up review, but for whatever it's worth, the bulbs are pretty neat. It's hard to tell from the photo, but they give off a bright-but-subtle glow, which could be put to good use if you wanted to do a little indoor decorating but didn't want to make your living room look like a supernova.

I made a quick stop at some faraway 7-Eleven over the weekend, and picked up this thing without really noticing what it was. Now I notice, and I'm a little appalled. "Reindeer Licks" is a kind of Push-Pop candy, where the cherry sucker has been molded to look like a reindeer's tongue. I believe common opinion would dictate that there's something a little off about sucking a reindeer's tongue.

Granted, the candy is targeted at kids who can get away with weirder shit than the rest of us, but I doubt that even a child could successfully finish a Reindeer Licks lollipop without someone branding them a pervert. Then again, considering the lasting success of that other reindeer-themed Christmas candy -- the one where you push on a reindeer's back to make it shit out caramel jelly beans -- maybe I'm reading too much into this. Go on and have your fun. Make out with Donder.

Posted by Matt on 12/03/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 109 comments

I’m confused, who the hell is Dixon?

I don’t even want to think about the licking a reindeer’s tongue candy though it would have been fun to listen to the development meeting for this thing.

Chestnuts roasted by Wenthral @ 12/03/2008 12:11 PM


“The only pop that licks you back”

Ugh…there is so much I can do with that but I must refrain or Santa will skip me completely!

Chestnuts roasted by Cricket @ 12/03/2008 12:22 PM


I’ll go where Cricket wouldn’t:

The only pop that licks you back? I should get one based on that line alone. My father NEVER licks me back.

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 12/03/2008 12:45 PM


Just a reminder: Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer is on ABC tonite at 8.

Chestnuts roasted by mutton72 @ 12/03/2008 1:14 PM


Hmm, checked TVguide.com, I think ABC is airing “Pushing Daisies”, and Rudolph is on CBS.

http://www.tvguide.com/Listings/default.aspx

The strange thing is, if you go to the CBS site, they have the Rudolph page, but the date is for last year:

http://www.cbs.com/specials/rudolph/

(Add a day for leap year)

Chestnuts roasted by Alexander @ 12/03/2008 2:06 PM


Thanks to Matt’s crazy ninja edit skills (skillz?), we are now making out with Donder.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 12/03/2008 2:17 PM


Has anyone seen the new Dodge Ram and wnat one?! That thing is awesome! And I want one! Get on it Santa!

I mean…

Wow, four whole AA batteries just to power those tiny things. What a ripoff!

Chestnuts roasted by Hazard @ 12/03/2008 3:09 PM


I could have sworn I saw no update here even at 11 oclock this morning.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 12/03/2008 3:26 PM


Yesssssssssssssssssss!

and the Tiny Lights cameo! so glad i visit the page every 15 minutes.

Chestnuts roasted by Dr Worm @ 12/03/2008 3:26 PM


That clown is one SCARY dude.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/03/2008 3:43 PM


Wait a minute…we never found out what today’s Playmobil gift is!

Also, I hope Kuse is OK. He’s starting to make ME depressed…

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/03/2008 3:46 PM


It’s official! We need a Youtube Vlog of Waiterbot singing “Cheeseburgers in Paradise.”

Yikes, a killer klown. I hope he isn’t from outer space. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 12/03/2008 3:49 PM


Holy Crap, that clown scares me. Even more than burnt bacon.

Chestnuts roasted by Hazard @ 12/03/2008 3:56 PM


That is one scary, bada– clown!

and the XE Advent Calendar popped up on Fandom Secrets, yay!

How many LJ users are out there? Is there an XE comm on LJ?

Chestnuts roasted by Tresjolie9 @ 12/03/2008 4:44 PM


That reindeer tongue sucker could be worse. It could be “Rudolph’s Red Rocket” and be a…well, you can figure it out.

Reni, could this “reindeer poop” be what I call “white trash?” Golden Grahams, raisins, and peanuts, covered in chocolate and peanut butter, then coated with powdered sugar? I LOVE that stuff!

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 12/03/2008 5:36 PM


am I the only one that got a little sad about the little loin? kinda like the cartoon shoe in who framed roger rabbit…

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 12/03/2008 5:44 PM


Man, Mare and I have more in common every day :D

I started a community for X-E fans on LJ a couple of years ago: http://community.livejournal.com/xe_fans/profile . Membership’s been closed because I didn’t want to step on toes, but I just opened it. I’m not letting the MySpacers and Facebookers rule the world any more! ;)

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/03/2008 6:19 PM


Felt sad about that little Lioness as well, it was the one to have spotted the clown. All it wanted was the ability to speak, is that so much for a Lioness to ask for?

Also, since we have quite a few LJ’ers who are advent fans,
I decided to start a comm, Advent Users

Chestnuts roasted by Tresjolie9 @ 12/03/2008 6:19 PM


Oh shoot, just started one of my own. I can delete it!

Chestnuts roasted by Tresjolie9 @ 12/03/2008 6:20 PM


i picked up some of those Reindeer licks last week at my local supermarket for all the kids on Christmas eve.

Today i also got some Raisin Bran and got an awesome little Guitar Hero game in it … its been at least 20 years since i got a toy in cereal , i then gave it to my daughter

Chestnuts roasted by Starscream77 @ 12/03/2008 7:24 PM


poor kitty! :(

Chestnuts roasted by Amy @ 12/03/2008 7:46 PM


that reindeer thing looks a lot like that old Jar-Jar Binks sucker-pop thing from a few years ago where the lolipop was Jar Jar’s tounge, and you pushed a lever to make it come out, and you suck on it.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew2H @ 12/03/2008 7:56 PM


Can’t believe Kitty’s dead. That clown gives me the creeps.

Lipton needs to kick Waiterbots ass.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 12/03/2008 8:17 PM


Poor Kitty. He was just about to earn twice the Christmas presents too.

Chestnuts roasted by lightningkick @ 12/03/2008 8:32 PM


Why do I have the feeling that James Lipton’s hat will become a very important subplot?

Chestnuts roasted by PlantMonster @ 12/03/2008 8:40 PM


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