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X-Entertainment loves Christmas and will not stop talking about it, ever.

I kissed a deer.

The Advent Calendar has been updated for 12/2. Actually, it was updated many hours ago, which is another reason why you shouldn't rely on X-E's RSS feed to tell you when to come here. You should come here every fifteen minutes, all day long.

I've been staring at these "Tiny Lites" sets for several years now. No idea why it's taken me so long to pick one up, considering that I'm the world's most enthusiastic proponent of Christmas lights. Perhaps this is proof of my rumored masochism.

Though the idea of tiny-sized Christmas lights is phenomenal, it is apparently a concept still not perfected. The main issue is that the wires are just as big as those from a regular-sized set. This seriously limits the amount of potential goofy uses for tiny Christmas lights, which while at the store seemed positively endless.

Another issue is the batteries. How the frig can a set of Christmas lights with bulbs no bigger than match heads require four "AA" batteries to run? I could power a small island nation with less expense. This is like some low-rent 2nd grade science fair project, where a generator the size of a car battery is used to make potatoes sink in water.

The ridiculous amount of batteries paired with the ridiculous wire size denies "Tiny Lites" their expected thumbs up review, but for whatever it's worth, the bulbs are pretty neat. It's hard to tell from the photo, but they give off a bright-but-subtle glow, which could be put to good use if you wanted to do a little indoor decorating but didn't want to make your living room look like a supernova.

I made a quick stop at some faraway 7-Eleven over the weekend, and picked up this thing without really noticing what it was. Now I notice, and I'm a little appalled. "Reindeer Licks" is a kind of Push-Pop candy, where the cherry sucker has been molded to look like a reindeer's tongue. I believe common opinion would dictate that there's something a little off about sucking a reindeer's tongue.

Granted, the candy is targeted at kids who can get away with weirder shit than the rest of us, but I doubt that even a child could successfully finish a Reindeer Licks lollipop without someone branding them a pervert. Then again, considering the lasting success of that other reindeer-themed Christmas candy -- the one where you push on a reindeer's back to make it shit out caramel jelly beans -- maybe I'm reading too much into this. Go on and have your fun. Make out with Donder.

Posted by Matt on 12/03/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 109 comments

This is an interesting (and funny) way to promote Rudolph.

http://www.imdb.com/video/cbs/vi4002677529/

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 12/03/2008 2:11 AM


I’m wondering if the people who came out with the frenching reindeer pop really thought through all the gross implications. The only pop that licks you back? Did someone actually consider the bestiality thing and release it anyway?

What if there were a snowman one out there somewhere, with an orange flavored carrot nose? It would be like the lunch scene in Fast Times and Ridgemont High.

Chestnuts roasted by hobbitsubculture @ 12/03/2008 2:11 AM


Reindeer Licks! And what a frosty, snowy background!
In other news, my birthday is over. :( So, vicariously speaking, I received a dead tree and a sideways fire grey machinistic bit. ?
Now off to bed, to wake up in 5 hours. I’m incorrigible!

Chestnuts roasted by Faith @ 12/03/2008 2:13 AM


Although the concept is a little too low brow for my taste, the fact that the pooping reindeer is labeled, “Oh deer!” is pretty funny.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 12/03/2008 2:18 AM


That reindeer tongue could’ve been worse…

http://www.warpbreach.com/8/jarjarsuck.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by Christopher Stalkin @ 12/03/2008 3:32 AM


My theory is that the reindeer tongue is by the same creepy man in the toy factory who invented the goo-shooting squirt gun that was all over the Internet two years ago.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 12/03/2008 4:17 AM


Ah I have four Christmas trees at my house. Or will, only two are “up” yet.
Strange? Nah.
Now that reindeer popsicle is just… beyond words. I don’t even know what to say to that, other than the thought of licking a fake reindeer tongue is just repulsive. I can’t really see it appealing to anyone except maybe teenage boys that are going for the grossout factor, but that may be even a little too edgy for them. Pooping reindeer? Sure. But kissing reindeer tongue? Maybe if the person was intoxicated or something then it would be funny. I dunno. It just seems a weird marketing idea. I’d be freaked out if that was in my Xmas stocking that’s for sure.

Chestnuts roasted by kittygirl @ 12/03/2008 5:20 AM


I was browsing the fandomsecrets LJ community, because I’ve become a shameful LJ addict lately, and found this:
http://i36.tinypic.com/n6x3lu.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 12/03/2008 7:33 AM


Argh that link didn’t work. Try this one:
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=1r2ohu&s=4

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 12/03/2008 7:35 AM


RUDOLPH TONIGHT! Don’t forget everyone, that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on CBS tonight at 8:00PM.

And since I know everyone of you reading this embraces every tradition of Christmas read closely:

I will be watching tonight on the analog channel of our local CBS affiliate, off the air antenna.

Remember that on February 17, 2009, those analog channels will be gone. I just think of how all those years, those Christmas specials traveled those same paths. For Rudolph, this will be the 45th and final time that Rudolph will fly through the sky along those analog channels. After that, the FCC has broken them up and auctioned them off to various communications companies.

So join me tonight, and, despite what can be somewhat snowy reception, watch Rudolph on your local analog channel for the last time… :-(

Chestnuts roasted by Alexander @ 12/03/2008 9:19 AM


I can’t even pick up my local CBS,which is why they’re ditching analog in favor of a better system.

For those of you who play Mario Kart Wii,Ultraman and I have had a bitter rivalry going on over the past couple days on the Mushroom Gorge Time Trials. Both of us have times under two minutes,and we keep trading wins back and forth. I think he’s in the lead right now.
Prior to this,Shaunfu was in the lead for Mushroom Gorge,maybe he’ll read this and reclaim his spot.

It’s a sad little life I lead,but I try to make the best of it. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 12/03/2008 10:22 AM


Have you guys all done your trees already? I think I’m going to buy ours tonight. I also need to check on our new “No Christmas” office policies and make sure it’s okay to decorate my desk in some way. Because I’m rocking the jukebox this morning and Waiterbot’s jolly little face plastered on the left is amping my Christmas cheer. Combine that with reindeer tongues and it’s officially the holiday season.

Chestnuts roasted by velouria_78 @ 12/03/2008 10:33 AM


*Reads label on Reindeer-Pop* “Not to be taken orally…”

AUUUGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Oh I can’t wait to hear when Rev. has to say about that Reindeer Lolly! It’s going to be so erotic!!

Chestnuts roasted by Morfnblorsh @ 12/03/2008 10:44 AM


“despite what can be somewhat snowy reception”

it’s not a bug, it’s a feature….for Christmas

Chestnuts roasted by Dann @ 12/03/2008 10:45 AM


And I do have two trees. My main real one which isn’t here yet, so I’m not cleaning up as many needles (Although for some reason, I like the mess it makes). Then I have my miniture tree which houses my growing collection of Cool-Decade hallmark ornaments.

Chestnuts roasted by Dann @ 12/03/2008 10:48 AM


Has anybody yet mentioned the BRAND NEW holiday special, A Miser Brothers’ Christmas! On ABCFamily Saturday, the 13th. I hope it’s good! And it’s not CGI! Good ol’ stop motion…

And on an unrelated note….just picked up some Honeycomb cereal. Haven’t had it in a while. Honeycomb big? Ummmm….no. Not anymore. Am I wrong? Crazy? It’s tiny!

Chestnuts roasted by Porkins @ 12/03/2008 10:58 AM


velouria_78
No Christmas policy? What kind of Scrooge is YOUR boss!?

And yes, my tree is up. Just need to find an angel for the top. Put the cranberry garland on last night. God that thing is a PITA to do by yourself. Have to reach around the whole tree and pass the whole garland around it, all the time trying not to get it caught in the branches thus causing ornaments to fall and break and dreams to be crushed.

Oh, and the Lego Monorail circles the base. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/03/2008 11:11 AM


Morfnblorsh,

Uh oh! I think I may have accidentally obtained a reputation as some kind of saucy sicko. The truth is, I am completely deadly and utterly serious at all times.

However, those oddly placed reindeer antlers do seem to suggest they are for anchoring purposes. To the floor, maybe. Gee that’s peculiar. Why would anyone anchor a candy tongue to the floor?

scratches head

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back it On Up 13 @ 12/03/2008 11:11 AM


Invader Norbert: I mentioned this a few years back, but here in the ‘burgh, there’s one sure fire commercial to let you know its christmas:

http://www.eatnpark.com/newsVideo.asp

(this should go without saying, but in case it doesn’t, click “play” on the first video on the list)

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 12/03/2008 11:20 AM


I found myself watching “meet the santas” on Hallmark last night. Made for TV with Steve Gutenberg. For some reason, at Christmas time I have no problem watching whatever low-budget, poorly-written sappy Christmas special is showing at the moment. Sure, some of them are classics, but for every classic there’s a horrible dud that you can’t really admit that you watch, but you do anyway…

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/03/2008 11:24 AM


Hahahaha jazzy that’s awesome! I love fandomsecrets but I can’t say I’ve ever seen an X-E one. Nice work, secret fan.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/03/2008 11:46 AM


Didn’t somebody draw some Advent Calendar Fan art a few years ago? I particularly remember one of pregnant Mare that was really good…

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/03/2008 11:56 AM


Jazzy: I’ve been an LJ addict ever since I started mine way back in 2001. Never heard of that comm- I’ll have to check it out!

I have decided that the next time I make a mass gift order from Amazon, I’m adding a DVD copy of Will Vinton’s Claymation Christmas to the cart. If I don’t see those ice skating walruses this year, I will surely shrivel up and die.

Chestnuts roasted by Cheetara @ 12/03/2008 11:58 AM


I like XMas lights and supernovas :D :D :D

Chestnuts roasted by yelinna @ 12/03/2008 12:03 PM


Cameron T., I work in a library, so I can kind of see the whole PC “No Christmas” thing since it’s a public space, even if I am a little cranky about it. I checked and I can decorate my desk as long as the public can’t see it, which seems weird, but whatever.

Oh, and shhh… I even watched “Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus” where Steve and the chick from “Wings” and “Slumber Party Massacre II” meet. I will watch anything.

Chestnuts roasted by velouria_78 @ 12/03/2008 12:08 PM


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