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11/29/2008: The Chia Christmas Tree!

Every year, the Advent Calendar seems to take up more and more real estate in our apartment. When I started doing this in 2002, it was just a little box on the edge of a table. By last year, my imaginary girlfriend and I ate dinner with a three-foot Playmobil “Victorian Grand Mansion” standing between us. This year? Good Christ. I’ll say this: To properly set up everything, I had to spend fifty bucks on lumber and lighting at Home Depot.

Advent Calendaring can be expensive, so if you’re doing any holiday shopping this weekend, do me a favor and use X-E’s Amazon Affiliate Link. Costs you nothing, but if you buy stuff on Amazon after clicking that link, I’ll make a solid thirty cents. Yessss. (Advent Calendar starts Monday. Barring very few exceptions, there will be a new holiday-related blog entry for each day of December, too!)

Man, it’s Christmassy. Honestly and truly. Everyone in our neighborhood used the extended weekend to string blinking lights up outside, and while we didn’t get that far, our apartment is starting to get that familiar waft of artificial pine and cinnamon (thank you Glade), with Christmas decorations old and new beginning to take the place of the many piles of magazines that had been growing in height since last March. Despite the season’s reputation for being gratingly hectic and full of holiday bustle, I don’t think that there’s a time of year when it’s easier to find peace. Or maybe I’m just in that tiny percentage of people who are capable of being totally hypnotized by 89 cent silver garland.

I’ve “raised” a fair share of Chia Pets in my life, but it wasn’t until last year that I decided to turn Chia Pet horticulture into one of my bona fide Christmas traditions. Both the Chia Pet and The Clapper (Chia’s distant, robotic cousin) have long been advertised and sold most aggressively during the holidays, I guess serving as catch-all gifts when you need to buy presents for people you absolutely don’t know at all.

I really wanted this annual rearing of a Chia Pet to be an on-site tradition as well, but I worried that I’d just end up repeating things I’ve already written. Luckily, the Gods of Chia threw me a bone, because I’ve never seen one quite like this before.

It’s not a Chia Pet at all, actually — it’s a Chia Tree with Star Light! This cumbersome title seems to be the nondenominational way of selling what is very obviously a Chia Christmas Tree. Do I need to tell you how much I dig the idea of a Chia Christmas Tree? Do I even have the words to properly manifest my utter ecstasy over this?

It gets better. If you’ve grown Chia Pets in the past, you probably remember the sad rule about soaking the “pot” (or “pet,” or “tree”) and the seeds for a full 24 hours before getting to do anything fun. Typically, I’ve found this waiting period so grueling that I never have fingernails left when it’s over. Well, get ready for a CHIA NEWSFLASH!!! At some point in 2008, they modified the formula, and now, you’re only required to soak the pot and seeds for one measly hour! Incredible! It’s too early for a Christmas Miracle, so what this is, I suppose, is a November 29th Miracle.

After letting my tree and seeds soak for sixty minutes (it still felt like years), I did the ol’ seed-spread. The coat of green Chia sprouts won’t fully materialize for up to two weeks, so I’ll keep you updated. I considered buying a webcam strictly for the site’s readers to have a live status report on my Chia Tree’s growth, but considering that I’m about to spend a month making Playmobil dolls say bad words, I figured that setting up a Chia webcam would push the boundaries of what I can get away with and not be termed an absolute loser by society at large just a little too far. That, and it seemed like a lot of work.

Oh, and as for the “Star Light” — the set comes with a waterproof, rod-shaped battery compartment topped with a light-up star, which sits right in the tree and beams a rainbow of colors from your kitchen windowsill. Really nice touch. I didn’t think I’d find a way to justify my decision to use a Chia Pet as a table centerpiece when we host Christmas dinner in a few weeks, but thar she blows.

Time to go prep, prep and prep some more. I hope you’re all getting into the spirit, and if you’re not, I’m going to beat you over the head with it for the next month. Over and over again. You’re really going to hate me when all’s said and done.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 179 comments

first???

Ghosted by Hazard @ 11/29/2008 11:09 PM EST


I may have to get one of those trees…

Ghosted by Ragnarok @ 11/29/2008 11:10 PM EST


Haven’t really seen any holiday decorations around the city here. I’m sure someone somewhere has them up just nowhere I have come across.

Ghosted by El Loco Gordo @ 11/29/2008 11:15 PM EST


Thank you for the hot Christmas injection.

Nobody’s ever given me a chia pet. What a sad, empty life I’ve lived.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 11/29/2008 11:18 PM EST


I MUST HAVE ONE @___@

Ghosted by Spiffy @ 11/29/2008 11:20 PM EST


Okay, that response was a bit hasty. But um…I’ve wanted a Chia Pet since I was a weeeee little kid, and now there’s one that’s topped with fucking RAINBOWS? I’m so in!

…also my dad bought oreos today…came home from a crappy night at work and saw the cookie jar filled with the black and white yumminess. My glee was short lived when I grabbed one and bit in….only to find it’s PEPPERMINT FLAVORED. I hate anything minty, so this was depressing. ;__;

Ghosted by Spiffy @ 11/29/2008 11:22 PM EST


They’ve made Chia Trees forever, but this is the first time I’ve seen one with a star on it.

I’d ask when we could find a new part of the Chia Plot, but I’m sadly resigned to the fact that it’s in XE Limbo with the 2002 Advent Calendar, this year’s Summer Jukebox, and several Halloween Countdowns.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/29/2008 11:23 PM EST


Christmas Tree Chia Tree? Me want, NOW! Once again Happy SNT! =)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/29/2008 11:24 PM EST


Matt, firstly on the subject of the Advent Calendar and in spite of it slowly taking over your home like some mutant virus, think I speak for a majority here when I say we do appreciate all the effort that you put in each year, as well as the creativity and dedication to it.

As for Chia, I have yet to see an import in any stores here, the nearest we get is usually the ‘growing watercress in cottonwool stuffed in to an empty eggshell that has been decoradted with a face so it gives the effect of hair’. I want pottery that sprouts leaves!

Ghosted by Guise @ 11/29/2008 11:25 PM EST


really hope you do the chia-tree webcam thing. great idea.

Ghosted by drew @ 11/29/2008 11:28 PM EST


My puppy chia pet is still sitting on the porch with dead chia plants stuck on it from June. I can sympathize with Rev. Back it on Up, because it took me twenty years of sporadically wishing for a Chia before someone finally got me one. Maybe I’ll plant it again and also make a tradition of it. I’m kind of jealous of the tree. Puppy doesn’t have a star core.

I’ve been in the spirit, especially after making Christmas favors with family yesterday while listening to the jukebox. Earlier today I made the mistake of going to one of the area’s major shopping centers, and that killed the spirit for a bit. It’s really frustrating to spend twenty minutes trying to park just to bring a cup of coffee to a friend at work.

Knowing that there is now lumber involved makes me even more excited about the advent calendar. I’m rereading the old calendars right now.

Ghosted by hobbitsubculture @ 11/29/2008 11:32 PM EST


I’ve already started aimlessly driving around town to look at Christmas lights.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 11/29/2008 11:44 PM EST


Man, wish I had the time away from evil retail to do more Christmassy things. However, at work, I’ve taken to bringing a bunch of candy canes to work to give to kids. They really like it.

Ho ho ho!

Ghosted by Terror Claws @ 11/29/2008 11:50 PM EST


The people across from me started doing their lights right after Veteran’s Day. They look eight times as bad as Clark Grizwauld – lights all over the house that blink, fifteen different Santa and reindeer (ten of them on a miniature ferris wheel that really moves), blow-up figures, signs advertising a local radio station, and once we get to December proper, Christmas music blasting. Thankfully, no one else in the neighborhood gets anywhere near that obnoxious (and my apartment is facing the riverside and not the street, so I don’t have to listen to “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” cranked to 11 until Three Kings Day). There’s a few other folks with lights up, but most people will probably put them up next week.

I really appreciate Christmas lights. It’s so much easier to ride home on your bike in the dark in December when almost every house has extra illumination.

I’m also feeling Christmas-y. I have the Jukebox running and am writing holiday stories with a girlfriend. I’ve spent most of this weekend – and will spend the majority of this week – cleaning and decorating for the holidays.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 11/29/2008 11:51 PM EST


Man, I wish you had mentioned the Amazon affiliate thing this morning, before I ordered those Stargate DVDs from my Dad!

Ghosted by Tom @ 11/29/2008 11:55 PM EST


I say, the more decorations, the better! =D Any ya’ll in the mood for Brawlin tonight?

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/30/2008 12:03 AM EST


Ultraman: Yes. :) I’ll set up the room and wait for you and anyone else to click in.

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/30/2008 12:04 AM EST


Ah, my daily dose of x-e-mas to tide me over until the Advent Calendar starts in earnest. How I enjoy it. Here’s hoping the Christmas Chia Plot is a success.

Ghosted by DocDragon @ 11/30/2008 12:09 AM EST


Why is the 23 on the advent calender there, why, why?!?

Ghosted by Methoes @ 11/30/2008 12:14 AM EST


Methoes: There’s a long explanation behind that one. It’s just a continuation of something Matt did last year. Trust me, you’ll be hearing a lot about it.

Ghosted by DocDragon @ 11/30/2008 12:16 AM EST


Wow, you went all-out there, Matt. Can’t wait for the show to start, and judging by the previews, it looks like it’s gonna be a doozy.

Ghosted by The Real Andrew @ 11/30/2008 12:27 AM EST


I hope y’all are still on, ’cause I’m up for Brawling!

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/30/2008 12:38 AM EST


Thanks for pumping out fun filled holiday stuffs matt, especially for those of us who are not weekly readers, it’s nice to check in and find a plethora of goodies to read about. Out of curiosity does this constitute as the SNT? Usually it has it’s own thread if i recall correctly.

Ghosted by Minnick @ 11/30/2008 12:38 AM EST


Definitely need to find me one of these… Can’t wait for the Advent to start!!!

Ghosted by LovesGreenKoolAid @ 11/30/2008 12:41 AM EST


We alreadt have the tree and lights up. I also got alot of Christmas shopping done yesterday. It was slightly busier than normal at the stores, but nowhere near the tales of hell you hear about on the news. It was actually kind of fun.

Anyway, there was a Charlie Brown double-feature of “A Boy Named Charlie Brown” and “Snoopy, Come Home.” on ABC Family. I only watched “Boy” and I got to say it wasn’t that great. I think they were still trying to get the animated formula down.

One big problem is that Charlie (and to a smaller extent Linus) are such losers (and not of the lovable variety we would all come to love) that you’re surprised they either didn’t kill themselves or go on a massacre.

Also, although Lucy was always kinda of a bully, in this movie she is just a megabitch (along with two other female characters that kinda look familiar, but I have no clue what their names are, and they also aren’t named in the movie) that you want them at least severely hurt, or get SOME kind of comeuppance. But it doesn’t happen.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 11/30/2008 12:43 AM EST


Damn, dude! Snoopy, Come Home is my favorite of the bunch… That song always gets stuck in my head when I watch it! hahaha

Ghosted by LovesGreenKoolAid @ 11/30/2008 12:48 AM EST


Happy SNT everybody!

Some sad news, I got my first bottle of Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash, and while I loved it, my girlfriend hated it.

I’m preparing the stake, and she’ll be aflame by dawn.

*salutes* For the glory of X-E!

Ghosted by Captain Will @ 11/30/2008 12:53 AM EST


I have “Cool As Ice” playing in the other room, and I just noticed something: the costume designer on that movie is the same person that worked on “Batman Forever” and “Batman and Robin.” Hoo boy. Also, this post is very fitting since I just saw a Chia tree commercial this afternoon.

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 11/30/2008 1:03 AM EST


I told my mom on the phone today that when I get back to NY for Christmas, there better be at least ten boxes of Christmas Crunch waiting for me. Every year I choke down those merry sugar balls and I’m not gonna stop now!

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 11/30/2008 1:12 AM EST


Advent is coming! Advent is coming! YES.

Does anyone here know the Peanuts special where they are in school, talking about teachers and they sing a song that goes “She’s gonna ask me something- on Edgar Allan Poe – I know it I just know it any moment now, she’s gonna call on me and ask me something I don’t know, on Edgar Allan Poe.” YEARS later, I still have that song stuck in my head but I don’t even know what Peanuts show it is from!

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 11/30/2008 1:16 AM EST


All of our tree lights crapped out so, even though the tree went up last night, it didn’t get decorated until about 2 pm today.
This may not sound like much but it was really depressing to see a bare tree. Made it feel like the season was over, etc.

But that’s over now. Got a “sparkling, happy tree” kicking next to me right now. The second born has already broken an ornament though. :( .

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 11/30/2008 1:17 AM EST


Muppet Baby, it’s from the play.

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 11/30/2008 1:17 AM EST


I’ll be starting to put up more decorations tomorrow. That Chia pet is real beautiful. This will be my
last SNT for a while. I’ll be heading to Florida
Friday. I’ll be back before Christmas though. So
I’ll be missing at least six days of the Advent
Calendar. Anyway, Matt, I hope your Chia tree grows
up to be real beautiful.

Ghosted by LoneStar76 @ 11/30/2008 1:19 AM EST


Okay, Chia has one holiday covered. But they need to spread and grow (pun?) into other holidays. Chia Easter Bunny, Chia Shamrock, Chia Graveyards, to name a few… This could be more far reaching and signifigant than PEEPS!

Ghosted by PlantMonster @ 11/30/2008 1:22 AM EST


Muppet Baby, it’s Snoopy the Musical, which I guess was an animated version of a stage play they did. I used to have it recorded on VHS and I had forgotten all about it until I heard one of the songs from it on an episode of The Muppet Show.

Ghosted by Annette @ 11/30/2008 1:41 AM EST


Happy SNT guys, I’m pooped so can’t say much. Heading back home tomorrow and I’ll probably wait until Monday to put up the Tree, etc…

And I am SO EXCITED for the Advent Calendar.

As Mista Snowman would say:

OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
ADVENT CALENDAR!

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/30/2008 1:52 AM EST


Happy SNT! Now I need to add THIS to my shopoping list… I’m trying to have the best X-E Mas ever! To addd on to a conversation on the last comment… POKEMON TRAINER AND ASH ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE! Now that my nerdy outrage is done, Matt, I never Brawled you. Everyone keeps talking about how cheap you are. Tomorrow, could I PLEASE Brawl you (away from Wii tonight). I would LOVE to show you a thing or two. Could I please get your friend code? Mine is 0602-7662-3101. Add me tonight and I will add you tomorrow. I don’t have yours yet. Could I PLEASE Brawl you?

Ghosted by Aaron @ 11/30/2008 1:55 AM EST


*Last thread in the comments section

Ghosted by Aaron @ 11/30/2008 1:57 AM EST


I just Brawled Matt, and God, he is cheap. He’s perfected it to an art form. A coinossouir of Spam, if you will. :)

Matt & Ultraman, great Brawling.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/30/2008 1:59 AM EST


Thanks! Answers at last! Damn catchy songs in that one…

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 11/30/2008 2:00 AM EST


I haven’t posted in weeks, maybe months, but I’ve been lying in bed all week after sinus surgery, and though I was around for most of the great advent calendars and Macy’s reviews of years past, I watched and read them all again while bathing my brain in mild narcotics. It was otherwise one of the worst weeks of my life, and you really got me through it, Matt. I just sent my wife to Walmart at 11:00 to find me an f-ing Chia Christmas tree.

Ghosted by Shelby @ 11/30/2008 2:02 AM EST


Matt, Invader Norbert: Awesome Brawlin with ya’ll. My fav one we had tonight was the one where Matt got stuck under that bridge in the Zelda level, JUST as it was reappearing. lol. You can’t tell me that wasn’t funny.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/30/2008 2:12 AM EST


Why does all the Brawlin happen when I’m in Portland, away from my Wii? :( , Matt, could I PLEASE have your Brawl code?

Ghosted by Aaron @ 11/30/2008 2:15 AM EST


Ya, ULTRAMAN, that was awesome.

And you would’ve won that last Brawl had Dialga not appeared just as you got the Golden Hammer…

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/30/2008 2:35 AM EST


Great affiliate link Matt, but I already own Shock Treatment. XD Guess I’ll just have to use it when I preorder Dr. Horrible on DVD for a friend. YES! DECEMBER 16TH!

We need to unwrap (yes unwrap) our tree soon. It’s in plastic wrap in the middle of our living room.. where it’s been since last year. Dad wants to put up the inflatables but I have no clue when he’s going to have the time, seeing as we now have 17 for our yard.

It’s tough being Santa’s daughter.

Ghosted by Cat the Vampire Slayer @ 11/30/2008 2:39 AM EST


Invader Norbert : I know. He came out of NOWHERE! And to think I’m a fan of Dialga. =P

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/30/2008 2:40 AM EST


Oh Matt, never ever stop doing this you make christmas that much more awesome every year ;)

Ghosted by ella enchanted @ 11/30/2008 2:49 AM EST


i saw the chia tree at target yesterday and was entranced. i also spent the last week reading all of the old advent calenders (and pretending to study), so i can’t wait for monday! cursing playmobil dolls have restored my belief in Christmas.

Ghosted by stina @ 11/30/2008 3:14 AM EST


Black Friday shopping finished my Christmas shopping, did the christmas lights today. Sadly, much less then most years. Most years I work with my father, but this year he’s coming off of surgery to remove an infected bone in his foot, and he’s just not able. So my brother and I put up our inflatables, and put up a few strands around the property. I bet the post-Christmas sales will be rather insane to clear channels, so I’ll likely be buying some new ones for next year.

Ghosted by SaintStryfe @ 11/30/2008 5:19 AM EST


Oooohhh, TOMORROW! Cant wait!

Cannot wait, cannot wait, cannot wait.

Ghosted by Hazard @ 11/30/2008 5:35 AM EST


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