I hate having to link to the barebones and silly 2002 edition, but it’s important as a canon-setter for the others. Other goodies: The 2003 edition features more than just talking toys, and the 2005 edition had a sidebar Advert Calendar.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/19/2008 11:35 PM

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mezzanine: Here’s a “brief” breakdown of the events of each calendar:

2002: A series of femme fatales who all look exactly like Mare Winningham arrive with unclear intentions; we now know that Playmobil “births” many Mares, and that they’re all born evil.

2003: Arrival of the one “true” Mare, who has starred in every Advent Calendar since. Only, in 2003, she was completely evil and, in the climax, was fed to the Rancor Monster by Santa Claus.

2004: Knacks and Kuse, then teenagers, are enthralled with the mythology of Mare and seek out her remains, ultimately resurrecting her. Having learned from her past mistakes, Mare is now a hero, and guides her new friends through the perils of the 2004 Advent Calendar. One of that year’s gifts turned out to be a new Mare — nicknamed “Claire” — who was of course born evil, and planned to stay that way. In the end, Mare sacrifices herself to save the world, and Santa encases Claire in magic ice to ensure that she’ll never be a problem again. 2004 is also notable for the introduction of Waiterbot, who began humbly as a waiter at a sushi restaurant Mare, Knacks and Kuse went to.

2005: Waiterbot returns in a new body as the year’s star villain, who steals the 2005 Advent Calendar’s “new” Mare and makes her his #1 gun. Fortunately, the “new” Mare somehow retained the spirit of the Mare who died in 2004, and with some help from Knacks, she remembered who she was and went good again. After Waiterbot was soundly defeated, a new threat arrived in Santa Claus himself. (Santa Clauses are supposed to pass the torch to the new Santa Clauses that pop off the Advent Calendar each year, but this one didn’t want to do it.) In the end, the good guys won, and Waiterbot even got to join the hero crew in his new Santa Claus body. (The villainous Santa who almost ruined things in 2005 is the vessel Waiterbot still uses to this day.) 2005 is also the year that Kuse and Mare began their romance.

2006: The year begins with just the usual bunch of gift-opening and domestic disputes, but soon enough, a new batch of villains, led by some wizard dude, start wreaking havoc by kidnapping the heroes. Ultimately, it’s revealed that these villains are under the mind control of Claire, who has retained her special Mare abilities despite still being locked in a block of ice. Making matters worse, that year’s Advent Calendar gave us another new Mare — nicknamed “Mare II” — who ultimately became a heroine and love interest for Knacks, but not before freeing Claire from her icy prison. In the finale, the original Mare blasts Claire in half, and everyone has a happy Christmas.

Of course, if you scroll to the end of the last entry of 2006, 2007′s ominous setup is revealed.

2007: Hssxxlllo Ussall and his unnamed leader, a pair of humanoid rabbits from one of Saturn’s moons who practice witchcraft, arrive amid great mystery and intrigue. Forming a small army and packing more power than any of the previous villains, it’s eventually revealed that the larger of the two rabbits is Mare’s sister: Hare Winningham. Despite her religious bravado, Hare is really just out for blood and glory, and Hssxxlllo switches sides, feeling misled. In the end, Hare fails to summon the demon god Leviathan, who deems her requests of destruction unworthy. With aid from Hssxxlllo, however, Kuse is able to raise Leviathan: A 100-story demon rabbit who grabs Hare and brings her to Hell. The day is saved, but in the epilogue, we find Hare in hell, despondent…until she’s met by an old colleague with similar interests: Claire Winningham.

Holy fuck.

Okay, so for this year, the question is: Did Hare and Claire find a way out of Hell? What do they have in store for our friends? FIND OUT SOON.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/20/2008 12:52 AM

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