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11/19/2008: The Advent Calendar is almost here. :o

Tough to believe that we’re about a week and a half away from the 2008 Advent Calendar! Now, truth time: I know that not all of the site’s core readers bother with the Advent Calendar. I’d say half of them do, at best. I hope that number will increase this year, but even if not, hey, it’s pretty nice that even that many people count it among their holiday traditions. Plus, talking through Waiterbot really helps relieve my stress.

I don’t know how to explain the Advent Calendar to those who’ve never read it. What started off simply has now grown so complicated that, frankly, even I have trouble remembering the continuity. The best way to understand the Advent Calendar is by reading it, so below are links to the first six editions. You need to read all of them to “get” it, but note that the real storyline-driven Advent Calendars didn’t begin until 2004.

The Advent Calendar: 2002.
The Advent Calendar: 2003.
The Advent Calendar: 2004.
The Advent Calendar: 2005.
The Advent Calendar: 2006.
The Advent Calendar: 2007.

After spending so many holiday seasons with these characters, it’s hard for me to picture Christmas without them. Every year, my only goal is to top the previous story. Considering that last year’s Advent Calendar featured a human-sized rabbit and James Lipton turning his “hand cavities” into flame throwers, we’re probably in for some fucked up shit this December.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 116 comments

OMG OMG Almost time for MISTA SNOWMAN!!!!!!!

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/19/2008 11:32 PM EST

Thanks for postin the links to previous calanders Matt. I look forward to this years .

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/19/2008 11:32 PM EST

I hate having to link to the barebones and silly 2002 edition, but it’s important as a canon-setter for the others. Other goodies: The 2003 edition features more than just talking toys, and the 2005 edition had a sidebar Advert Calendar. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/19/2008 11:35 PM EST

I love MISTA Snowman! Am I the only one that imagines him talking in an ultra-femme voice? I love him!

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 11/19/2008 11:36 PM EST

Man, I realized I’ve never re-read all the calendars. I think I may do that over Thanksgiving holidays (it is GREAT to be working for an institution of Higher Learning).

I can’t wait to see what ROARMarkablous things this year brings, Matt!

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/19/2008 11:38 PM EST

The Advent Calendar here has become a highlight of my early December mornings in recent years.
On a different Christmasy note, and this may have been mentioned by someone else already: Target is selling Star Wars Christmas bobblehead stocking stuffers. I could only find Yoda and a Jawa here, but there’s bound to be more.

Ghosted by Ragnarok @ 11/19/2008 11:41 PM EST

I just looked at my calender. Yep, it’s almost a week and a half before December; Thanksgiving is late this year. It’s mind-blowing. Soon, we’ll all be reading the Advent Calender full of stormtrooper and Mare goodness, while visions of Waiterbot and toy sushi bars dance in our heads. Not to mention oversized rabbits.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 11/19/2008 11:43 PM EST

gingela5: Mista Snowman is a guy, so i’m gonna have to say no, I don’t imagine him talking with that type of voice. I imagine him speakin like Frosty. Happy Birthday! =)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/19/2008 11:46 PM EST

The Advent calendar gets me up on some icky, snowy December mornings. Can’t wait!

Ghosted by Lara @ 11/19/2008 11:53 PM EST

Wow!!!! I cant wait the time will now take forever since you actully said how much longer.

Ghosted by Issac @ 11/19/2008 11:56 PM EST

Matt: crazy and f-ed up is just the way we like it. Keep up the good work, dude.

Ghosted by DocDragon @ 11/19/2008 11:57 PM EST

Is it so wrong that I literally look forward to this more than presents?

Ghosted by Terror Claws @ 11/19/2008 11:58 PM EST

Hey who is that guy???? on the 23 box

Ghosted by ~JaM~ @ 11/20/2008 12:02 AM EST

I can’t wait. The Advent calendars might even be my favourite part of X-E.

Ghosted by Johee @ 11/20/2008 12:05 AM EST

The giant rabbit still plagues my dreams… T__T

Ghosted by Spiffy @ 11/20/2008 12:09 AM EST

How to explain the Advent calendar? Sheer, unadulterated awesome.
–or–
The advent calendar: It’s roarmarkoublus.

(Holy crap, have I really been reading these advent calendars for 7 years????)

Ghosted by Ann @ 11/20/2008 12:13 AM EST

Matt, the Advent calendar is one of the only things I look forward to after Halloween (not a big Christmas or Thanksgiving fan), and I’m glad you’re doing them! Even ignoring the fun of trying to figure everything out last year, the “straight” calendars are super fun as well! I’m halfway through a marathon re-read of them now, and like Ann I’m feeling deja-vu at realizing it’s been 7 years!

Ghosted by Dr Sketch @ 11/20/2008 12:19 AM EST

Can someone make a Cliffnotes guide for The Advent Calendar? I really can’t remember the details on everything and I don’t want to go over it all AGAIN. I remember the Mare that Knacks liked is dead, though.

Keep it up Matt, I love it. And the cryptic shit reminds me of Cloverfield. It’s awesome.

Ghosted by mezzanine @ 11/20/2008 12:25 AM EST

YES!!! The box 23 is up! =D

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/20/2008 12:32 AM EST

Matt,

Every time I read the first advent calendar I cant help but to think about how quickly you became bored writing about playmobil animals and how your brain forced you to turn it into a story. Your mind probably made the switch on the 6th, the first mare post.
Anyway, you should revisit the first year but this time, with “directors” commentary….

Ghosted by Boner Jams 03' @ 11/20/2008 12:38 AM EST

mezzanine: Here’s a “brief” breakdown of the events of each calendar:

2002: A series of femme fatales who all look exactly like Mare Winningham arrive with unclear intentions; we now know that Playmobil “births” many Mares, and that they’re all born evil.

2003: Arrival of the one “true” Mare, who has starred in every Advent Calendar since. Only, in 2003, she was completely evil and, in the climax, was fed to the Rancor Monster by Santa Claus.

2004: Knacks and Kuse, then teenagers, are enthralled with the mythology of Mare and seek out her remains, ultimately resurrecting her. Having learned from her past mistakes, Mare is now a hero, and guides her new friends through the perils of the 2004 Advent Calendar. One of that year’s gifts turned out to be a new Mare — nicknamed “Claire” — who was of course born evil, and planned to stay that way. In the end, Mare sacrifices herself to save the world, and Santa encases Claire in magic ice to ensure that she’ll never be a problem again. 2004 is also notable for the introduction of Waiterbot, who began humbly as a waiter at a sushi restaurant Mare, Knacks and Kuse went to.

2005: Waiterbot returns in a new body as the year’s star villain, who steals the 2005 Advent Calendar’s “new” Mare and makes her his #1 gun. Fortunately, the “new” Mare somehow retained the spirit of the Mare who died in 2004, and with some help from Knacks, she remembered who she was and went good again. After Waiterbot was soundly defeated, a new threat arrived in Santa Claus himself. (Santa Clauses are supposed to pass the torch to the new Santa Clauses that pop off the Advent Calendar each year, but this one didn’t want to do it.) In the end, the good guys won, and Waiterbot even got to join the hero crew in his new Santa Claus body. (The villainous Santa who almost ruined things in 2005 is the vessel Waiterbot still uses to this day.) 2005 is also the year that Kuse and Mare began their romance.

2006: The year begins with just the usual bunch of gift-opening and domestic disputes, but soon enough, a new batch of villains, led by some wizard dude, start wreaking havoc by kidnapping the heroes. Ultimately, it’s revealed that these villains are under the mind control of Claire, who has retained her special Mare abilities despite still being locked in a block of ice. Making matters worse, that year’s Advent Calendar gave us another new Mare — nicknamed “Mare II” — who ultimately became a heroine and love interest for Knacks, but not before freeing Claire from her icy prison. In the finale, the original Mare blasts Claire in half, and everyone has a happy Christmas.

Of course, if you scroll to the end of the last entry of 2006, 2007’s ominous setup is revealed.

2007: Hssxxlllo Ussall and his unnamed leader, a pair of humanoid rabbits from one of Saturn’s moons who practice witchcraft, arrive amid great mystery and intrigue. Forming a small army and packing more power than any of the previous villains, it’s eventually revealed that the larger of the two rabbits is Mare’s sister: Hare Winningham. Despite her religious bravado, Hare is really just out for blood and glory, and Hssxxlllo switches sides, feeling misled. In the end, Hare fails to summon the demon god Leviathan, who deems her requests of destruction unworthy. With aid from Hssxxlllo, however, Kuse is able to raise Leviathan: A 100-story demon rabbit who grabs Hare and brings her to Hell. The day is saved, but in the epilogue, we find Hare in hell, despondent…until she’s met by an old colleague with similar interests: Claire Winningham.

Holy fuck.

Okay, so for this year, the question is: Did Hare and Claire find a way out of Hell? What do they have in store for our friends? FIND OUT SOON.

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/20/2008 12:52 AM EST

MATT!! I barely ever comment because I am too lazy but I have been around since the 2004 advent and they are as much a part of my holiday tradition as anything else so thanks a bunch! I love what you do for us

Ghosted by Vwarb @ 11/20/2008 12:58 AM EST

Oh, Matt! You almost brought a tear to my eye!

This will only be my second Christmas with X-E, and I can’t wait!

Ghosted by Captain Will @ 11/20/2008 1:02 AM EST

There are people who don’t read the advent calendar? What is WRONG with them?

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 11/20/2008 1:09 AM EST

I’d like to know if the real James Lipton is aware of his Lego counterpart. I would love for an actual cameo.

I can’t wait for the 2008 calendar. Lipton remains my favorite character. “Roar, roar, I’m a bear!”

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2008 1:10 AM EST

My fav Character is without a doubt Mista Snowman! He pretty much beams with the Christmas spirit.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/20/2008 1:14 AM EST

Truly an epic tale

Ghosted by Hazard @ 11/20/2008 1:16 AM EST

Six years of Advent Content is one hell of a homework assignment.

Anyone got some blow?

Ghosted by croutons @ 11/20/2008 1:24 AM EST

Oh man, I’m so glad I already read all these when they were released. Couldn’t imagine reading all of them back-to-back now.

Ghosted by Kapprika @ 11/20/2008 1:38 AM EST

I think I am bringing my laptop to school tomorrow in order to reread advent calendars allll day. Its one of my favorite parts of the holiday, and definitely the hardest to explain to the uninitiated. How do you tell someone about Legotron, for gods sake?

Ghosted by Nannageddon @ 11/20/2008 1:39 AM EST

Kapprika: I CAN, because i’m doing just that at this very moment. Iv’e got the 2006 and 2007 ones left, and that’s it! =)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/20/2008 1:39 AM EST

Speaking of the Advent Calendar and James Lipton… I was just watching The Late Late Show w/ Craig Ferguson, and James Lipton is going to be on later.

I’m just waitin’ for him to bust out those flame throwers. It’s amazing how, thanks to Matt and X-E, something relatively boring like James Lipton is now the highlight of my night.

So… hi everyone. I rarely post, but the timing of the interview and the entry was just too awesome.

Ghosted by hobbitsubculture @ 11/20/2008 1:46 AM EST

Completely demented, genuinely twisted, and yet somehow cute and sweet. Long live the Advent Calendar.

Ghosted by Monte @ 11/20/2008 2:20 AM EST

I love whenever Lipton cameos on Conan. I keep expecting him to belt out “Remarkablous!”

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2008 2:28 AM EST

I hope I never have to go through December without the advent calender!
It is so remarkablous.

Thanks Matt!

Ghosted by Satanika @ 11/20/2008 3:12 AM EST

God, I don’t know how you’ve kept it all straight, Matt. Nicely summed up!!

Thanks for all the hard work you put into this every year. I feel lucky to be a part of it. It becomes something bigger and more fun every year and I can’t imagine Xmas without it.

And for the record: I, for one, welcome our new clown overlords.

FM

Ghosted by Fungusmungus @ 11/20/2008 4:30 AM EST

Ooh, thanks for the link to all the previous calendars, I was just re-reading the 07 one, and have to reread 04-06!

Ghosted by Tresjolie9 @ 11/20/2008 4:37 AM EST

I love that this is my second Advent. I think I’m going to go back and do some marathon reading to refresh my memory on a lot of it. I agree with what everyone else has said. It’s as much a part of my Christmas tradition as presents now. It’s going to make December so much better this year. I can’t wait!

Ghosted by DJ D @ 11/20/2008 4:46 AM EST

I don’t know if iv’e said this befor, but just ncase I haven’t i’ll say it now. The X-E Advent Calander is a BIG part of my Christmas traditions. Just thought i’d let you know Matt.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/20/2008 4:58 AM EST

I am so very excited, and extremely shocked that its been that long since I read the first one. O_O

Heh, James Lipton was on “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” tonight, and I kept waiting for him to say remarkablous and shoot fire out of his hands. After that segment, I realized just how much X-E has changed my life.

Ghosted by Loneman1 @ 11/20/2008 5:01 AM EST

Matt, the Advent Calendars are one of the highlights of my december! I’ve been reading ‘em since 2003, and I re-read the past calendars every year. WAY more enjoyment than the regular old ‘chocolate-a-day’ Advent Calendars.

Though, this year I got an Advent Calendar full of Pokemon Cards, I’m about 70% sure the X-E AC can beat that, too.

Ghosted by Cass @ 11/20/2008 5:06 AM EST

Every year I look forward to the X-E Advent Calendar. Been reading it since 2003, I just rarely comment (but I often read them all). I’m just as excited for this year’s edition as I am my one gift I asked for (which I linked to, which should be seen as epic by most X-Eers.) More James Lipton, please. Remarkablous.

Ghosted by Darryl @ 11/20/2008 8:15 AM EST

I think the X-E advent calendar is one of my favourite things about Christmas. I’ve read it since it’s simple, ‘make it up as it goes along’ (in a good way) origins through to its current form.
Bring on Mare!

Ghosted by Jay Firestorm @ 11/20/2008 8:44 AM EST

This site seems to be the ONLY holiday spirit left over in recent years, so it will be sure not to disappoint. Thanks for the past links, I will be re-reading them.

Ghosted by Dann @ 11/20/2008 9:51 AM EST

I can’t believe the Advent Calendar has become one of my holiday traditions, but it really has. I really need to get married or something…

Ghosted by BDS @ 11/20/2008 10:14 AM EST

Let the games begin Matt!

Ghosted by Gregor @ 11/20/2008 10:15 AM EST

This weekend I will be in a hotel room in New Jersey, eating room service shrimp cocktail by the gallon while my man ties trout flies at a convention. I plan to plant my ass in front of my laptop and conclude the historical advent calendar update, because I am woefully left out.

I do want to point out that my sifu does allege that I have an evil alter-ego named “Claire” who appears sometimes when the Rev. Back It On Up personality has been subdued by evil. I hope reading up on all this stuff will finally plunge me over the edge into hardcore Christmas action. Thank you, X-Entertainment.com.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 11/20/2008 10:23 AM EST

That means I’ve been here a year… it was because of that last advent calender you got yourself a new fan. Man, I wish I had been here earlier but better late than never..also I love Advent calender…It’s one of the very few reasons I still have a neopets account.

Ghosted by Rookeealding @ 11/20/2008 11:02 AM EST

I can’t believe only something like half your regular readers bother with the calendar. I look forward to it every morning in December.

Ghosted by jhnnywalkr @ 11/20/2008 11:04 AM EST

IMHO someone needs seriously needs to make an to make an “advent wikki, over on <A HREF=http://www.wikia.com/wiki/Wikia.

Although there always is reading through the previous advent calendars.

Also kudos to Matt for putting this together for six years, I actually look forward to the advent calendar more than most of my favorite TV shows.

Ghosted by Tresjolie9 @ 11/20/2008 11:12 AM EST

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