Oooh. Just one more entry, I’ll have successfully knocked all Halloween-related content from the blog’s main page. Then maybe I’ll do the same for the site’s main page. Tomorrow THE WORLD.
I rarely get excited over video games, but I just saw a commercial for Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe and started running around in circles as if I was trying to reverse time. Even if I haven’t played the games to the extent that many of you have, I’m a huge fan of Mortal Kombat mythology. Like, that shit from Mortal Kombat II, where Mileena was actually some kind of mutant Tarkatan who snuck out at night to go fuck Baraka. Love that. I also love the prospect of making Scorpion toss a spear through Superman’s head. Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe gets a strong recommendation from me, even though I don’t own any of the game systems capable of running it, much less the game itself.
Am I nuts? I could’ve sworn I wrote about these things last year, but they’re not turning up in searches and I can’t find anything in the archives. Oh well, I know I bought one last year, but it wasn’t quite the same as the 2008 edition Holiday Oball. Now operating under a Stranz title, this year’s Oball packs more, uh, strands.
I probably lost you in that last paragraph, but it isn’t easy to put an Oball into words. The toys serve no purpose — they’re just weird, ball-shaped thingamajigs that don’t look collapsible, but are. You can crush Oballs down to the size of a sugar packet, but they’ll spring back to their starting size the second you let go. We really must admire the person who not only conceived the Oball, but actually managed to persuade his superiors into signing off on it for mass production.
How does one even pitch an idea like this? “It’s a ball…AND IT DOES THIS!” What more can you add? I guess you could stretch the time by trying to portray the Oball’s 13% approval rating in test markets as a positive stat, but even then, that’ll only cover another 45 seconds or so.
Regardless, or irregardless, whichever it should be: The Oball is proof that I will buy anything positioned as a “holiday edition,” no matter what it is.
Proof positive: From Quaker, it’s the new Snow Day! Chocolate Chip granola bars! Those secularizing krauts from Quaker went and covered a bunch of granola bars with endless amounts of edible red-and-green trim, and they still couldn’t bring themselves to call it a “Christmas” edition. I forgive Quaker, if only because it was such a nice surprise to find hot holiday action in a box of granola bars.
They taste like chocolate chip granola bars covered with candy sprinkles. They should, as this is exactly what they are. They’re okay, I guess. I won’t be writing any odes to them before going to bed tonight, but if I could do that for everything, nothing would feel special. Thank you, Snow Day! Chocolate Chip granola bars. Thank you for being just okay.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
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Jake the Snake: Whoever you want to win. They’re characters. =)