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Oballs & Granola Bars.

Oooh. Just one more entry, I'll have successfully knocked all Halloween-related content from the blog's main page. Then maybe I'll do the same for the site's main page. Tomorrow THE WORLD.

I rarely get excited over video games, but I just saw a commercial for Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe and started running around in circles as if I was trying to reverse time. Even if I haven't played the games to the extent that many of you have, I'm a huge fan of Mortal Kombat mythology. Like, that shit from Mortal Kombat II, where Mileena was actually some kind of mutant Tarkatan who snuck out at night to go fuck Baraka. Love that. I also love the prospect of making Scorpion toss a spear through Superman's head. Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe gets a strong recommendation from me, even though I don't own any of the game systems capable of running it, much less the game itself.

Am I nuts? I could've sworn I wrote about these things last year, but they're not turning up in searches and I can't find anything in the archives. Oh well, I know I bought one last year, but it wasn't quite the same as the 2008 edition Holiday Oball. Now operating under a Stranz title, this year's Oball packs more, uh, strands.

I probably lost you in that last paragraph, but it isn't easy to put an Oball into words. The toys serve no purpose -- they're just weird, ball-shaped thingamajigs that don't look collapsible, but are. You can crush Oballs down to the size of a sugar packet, but they'll spring back to their starting size the second you let go. We really must admire the person who not only conceived the Oball, but actually managed to persuade his superiors into signing off on it for mass production.

How does one even pitch an idea like this? "It's a ball...AND IT DOES THIS!" What more can you add? I guess you could stretch the time by trying to portray the Oball's 13% approval rating in test markets as a positive stat, but even then, that'll only cover another 45 seconds or so.

Regardless, or irregardless, whichever it should be: The Oball is proof that I will buy anything positioned as a "holiday edition," no matter what it is.

Proof positive: From Quaker, it's the new Snow Day! Chocolate Chip granola bars! Those secularizing krauts from Quaker went and covered a bunch of granola bars with endless amounts of edible red-and-green trim, and they still couldn't bring themselves to call it a "Christmas" edition. I forgive Quaker, if only because it was such a nice surprise to find hot holiday action in a box of granola bars.

They taste like chocolate chip granola bars covered with candy sprinkles. They should, as this is exactly what they are. They're okay, I guess. I won't be writing any odes to them before going to bed tonight, but if I could do that for everything, nothing would feel special. Thank you, Snow Day! Chocolate Chip granola bars. Thank you for being just okay.

Posted by Matt on 11/18/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 68 comments

As a fan of actual fighting games, I can honestly say the MK series has always, and probably will always be, crap. The only thing that sold the games in first place was the blood to most people, and the very detailed story to the hardcore MK fans (like people who know every stupid bit of the stupid canon). MK vs DC seems to throw both of those out of the window. However, I have heard good things about this engine, and that this game isn’t exactly good, but it finally has something to grow on. If Midway even gets a chance. They are near bankruptcy. At least they finally came to their senses and ditched that HORRIBLE engine from before.

With all that said, I have, at one point, played every MK game and owned all of them except 4 and I will most certainly buy this because it has a comic book crossover.

I hate myself.

Chestnuts roasted by PhelpsPhan @ 11/19/2008 4:01 AM


Oh also

People should stop making a big deal about Superman. The game has Captain Marvel who has shown he can kick Superman’s ass pretty damn easily. Also he has no real weakness like Superman. I mean I guess he dies if you beat on him enough, but so does Superman.

And MK made up some bullshit story about how some magic is effecting Superman (magic is another one of his weaknesses) so other people can hurt him.

Honestly I doubt anyone in the MK universe is really comparable to many of the DC heroes. They all seem to die fairly easily. Johnny Cage has died, what, 4 times now?

Chestnuts roasted by PhelpsPhan @ 11/19/2008 4:06 AM


phelpsphan: I’ll take MK over ST, Tekken, Virtua Fighter etc. ANY day! =) I like those other fighting game series, but they don’t seem that much different from each other. Might as well go for the one that has the fatalities.Iv’e played them all, and I love MK the most BY FAR!!! Although i’m not gonna get that new game cause they took out the gore and most of the violence. Which defeats the purpose of a MK game imo.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/19/2008 6:54 AM


I just got in from a fire call and I am too tired to even see straight but I wanted to thank Matt for his post.
So thanks.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 11/19/2008 7:01 AM


I too was diappointed this game wouldn’t be on Wii (the only current system I have) but everything I saw about it online said it was shitty,so I guess it’s just as well. Mortal Kombat was cool when I was 13 because of the gore,but once you get past that aspect,they’re terrbile games.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 11/19/2008 8:35 AM


Speaking of fighting games starring non-fighting game people,click my name to check out Castlevania Judgment for Wii. I haven’t played a Castlevania since the Sega Saturn one,but I’m going to be all over this.
Why settle for playing as Lex Luthor when you can play as DEATH himself! Or Simon Belmont! Plus you can put different hats on them!

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 11/19/2008 8:44 AM


Iv’e always thought series like Street Fighter were overrated myself. Good games without a doubt, but I don’t find them to be the masterpieces that so many gamers say they are. To each their own I guess.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 11/19/2008 8:54 AM


Oball goes to show people will buy ANYTHING to stuff stockings. It reminds me of the year my mother stuffed a See-n-Say Jr. in there and I’m all like “WTF is this?”.

Chestnuts roasted by palmerholic @ 11/19/2008 9:04 AM


The frigid weather here makes me want to put my Christmas lights up outside the house.

Chestnuts roasted by Clockwork @ 11/19/2008 9:15 AM


Never try eating an Oball.

Chestnuts roasted by Barry @ 11/19/2008 10:26 AM


Holy Crap Matt! Its the Sugar Frosted Cereal Jackpot!

http://www.flickr.com/groups/sugarfrostedcerealmuseum/pool/

Its a frigging museum. Thought you would like it!

Chestnuts roasted by Cosmo @ 11/19/2008 11:28 AM


Hobostyle: I’m not sure what Joker is doing in that pic. Shooting lazers from his eyes or something?

So an Oball is simply something that returns to it’s original form no matter what you do to it? Sorta like a Stretch Armstrong in ball form?

This isn’t the first DC fighting game. Anyone remember the “Justice League” game they had for the Super Nintendo and maybe other systems? The best character was ALWAYS the Flash, because all you needed to do was back your opponant to the side of the screen and simply superspeed punch them to death. Whoever you played against would call you a cheater, but when it comes to video games I say take no prisoners. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 11/19/2008 11:38 AM


The Oball looks like it would be great fun to fiddle with. Wonder how it would hold up against a puppy though.

I love the Quaker’s Chewy bars, or rather I love being able to eat what’s basically a candy bar and pretending it’s healthy somehow. Those red and green sprinkles don’t look so good though.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/19/2008 11:44 AM


I was gonna go into a rant about how I’m sick of people not saying Christmas anymore, but I’m not really awake yet, so I’ll just say:

“Snow Day! Chocolate Chip” my ass.

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 11/19/2008 12:07 PM


Who would win in a fight between the Hulk and Superman?

Chestnuts roasted by Jake the snake @ 11/19/2008 12:20 PM


I got the DC Mortal Kombat game the other day, and beat everyone down as the Joker. His special moves are lame, but I like his mincy, prancy walk. Then my husband joined in and picked the girl with the biggest rack and whooped my ass all over the room.

My man always find the most Eddie Gordo character around. If anyone has ever played Soul Caliber, there is a character who fights with a big long stick. You can’t beat him, because you can’t get anywhere near him without getting your block knocked off by the stick. Blast!

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 11/19/2008 12:24 PM


In the DC vs. Marvel series from years back, Superman kicked Hulk’s butt.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 11/19/2008 1:12 PM


I Want Soul Calibur 4! And DCvsMK too!

Chestnuts roasted by Hazard @ 11/19/2008 1:12 PM


Get soul calibur and try to make sense of the little speech clips they play between each fight. I dare you.

Voldo is my MF. That creep can roll.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 11/19/2008 1:15 PM


Also, sorry to double it up on you here but do any of you happen to be experts with Italian American cuisine? I’ve got a cooking emergency coming up and my dago authenticity will be called into question if I don’t rise to the occasion.

Google has been of no help to me. So naturally I turn to the web’s primary source for Italian cookery questions – nostalgic toy and candy enthusiasts. One of you might be Lidia Bastianich for all I know. She looks like she knows her way around a Ninja Turtle Pie. Halp!

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up 13 @ 11/19/2008 2:07 PM


Wow, has anyone ever been to capncrunch.com? Look under products… I didn’t even know these kinds existed (Halloween crunch!?!?). I just want to know where to get it next year!!! Has anyone seen Christmas Crunch yet?

Chestnuts roasted by drew do @ 11/19/2008 3:08 PM


My local store just got in all the Holiday sodas so i picked them up. The 7up is really good i didnt have high expectations for it but it is good.

Drew DO,

My local store got in those and the Rice Crispies today and they were still stocking so im sure there are a bunch more different brands hitting the shelves now

Chestnuts roasted by Starscream77 @ 11/19/2008 4:24 PM


Drew do, I’ve been selling Christmas Crunch for at least two weeks at the grocery store where I work in the South Jersey suburbs. They were late putting it out. I’m usually selling it a week before Halloween.

I have NOT seen either of these holiday items, but both may come in handy. I’d also like to know how strong that Oball is…say, possibly holding up to a pair of very rambunctious 9-year-old and 12-year-old cousins? I had no idea what to get them.

And I just ate a Fiber One Granola Bar (fiber AND sugar! Whee!) and absolutely love granola bars in general. However, I prefer the 90 Calorie Dark Chocolate Cherry or the S’mores for the regular slender Quaker Granola Bars, so whether they say “Snow” or “Christmas,” I’d probably pass them by.

Oh, and Matt, it’s great to see the Christmas decorations on the blog again. I was wondering when you’d get to that. We haven’t gotten snow, but it’s only about 35 degrees out there, freezing for this time of year in New Jersey. I just came from raking the front yard and side path that leads to my apartment, which really felt exhilarating in the cold and wind. It feels great to be able to do something outside and really put your back into it.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 11/19/2008 5:15 PM


YEA!! Christmas has come to X-E.

I got my History Club kids to decorate my classroom after school today so I too am feeling the Christmas spirit. Now, to read the article.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 11/19/2008 5:20 PM


The cereal talk reminded me to check for new pages on the “Breakfast of the Gods” website. When I started reading it, Tony’s voice changed, from Thurl Ravenscroft to Michael Dorn. Dig’em is sounding like Ton-Loc now. I’ve got weird wiring in my head.

I have an issue of JLA where Captain Marvel sucker punches Superman. He’s about the only one who can knock him out. I’m not even going to bring up Kingdom Come. I also have the VS books. I would like to have seen Supes pick up Thor’s hammer, but was pleased with Wonder Woman’s temporary power boost.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/19/2008 6:04 PM


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