Sorry about not posting yesterday. I looked at the blank document where an entry was supposed to be written, and then at my bed where I was supposed to be sleeping. Bed won. I’ll post again before midnight…mainly because I’m not sure if I can get away with making you wait a whole day just to read a few paragraphs about marshmallows vaguely shaped like ghosts.

These were a nice surprise. By this point in October, I rarely find any new Halloween stuff in the many department stores I troll through. As far as merchandising goes, Halloween peaks in late September and then kinda just waits out the rest of its contract until November 1st. It’s a bit depressing, and it’s one of the leading reasons why I’m always over Halloween and onto Christmas long before October ends. It’s hard not to be when you walk to the aisle where zombie lawn inflatables are supposed to be and find eight giant Santa Claus balloons instead.

It’s one of the dangers of being in the group of folks who want the holidays to be commercialized out the wazoo. Once the various companies stop casting lines, there’s nothing left to hook us.

So THANK YOU, Kraft. Thank you for blasting forward with these ridiculous “Jet-Puffed GhostMallows” so far into the Halloween season. I needed them.

The GhostMallows aren’t too fantastic, but the bags they come in are. They’re just so joyous and appropriately colored and filled with ghost imagery and soft.

The focal benefit of GhostMallows is that they’re an invitation to merge Halloween into any and every weather scenario. If it’s still a little hot where you live, you can make GhostMallow s’mores. If it’s gotten colder, you can make GhostMallow hot chocolate.

Mmm. GhostMallow hot chocolate. After spending so many years believing that hot chocolate could not be properly enjoyed until the strict winter months, it’s nice to put that horrible notion to rest. All it took was a handful of multicolored marshmallows that look like clown feces.

Orange is Halloween’s color, but I think Kraft should’ve passed on making orange GhostMallows. Orange ghosts seem illegitimate. Future batches of GhostMallow hot chocolate produced in this household will forgo the inclusion of orange GhostMallows. I guess Kraft added them so as not to make their newest marshmallows fall short of those colorful Christmas marshmallows I reviewed several hundred years ago.

Also: The back of the bag includes several recipes for spooky GhostMallow snacks. GhostMallow hot chocolate seemed natural enough, but another recipe suggests piercing the ass of a GhostMallow with a pretzel stick, and then smothering the other end of the stick with a torn Fruit Roll-Up, to suggest a witch flying on her broom. Bah. They wouldn’t look like witches, and I don’t want to find out what marshmallow pretzel Roll-Ups taste like.

Or…do I?

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!