Back when I was still young enough to trick-or-treat without getting dirty looks, I was gifted plenty of amazing things: Handfuls of change, miniature marble notebooks, and on a few rare occasions, full-sized Snickers bars. Still, nothing I ever received could match up with what a bunch of lucky kids got in the 1999 Halloween season: Real Matchbox cars!

A Matchbox car wasn’t going to change anyone’s life, but as a Halloween freebie, they’re pretty amazing. It’s all relative. If all you were really hoping for was a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup or one of those small bags of bat-shaped pretzels, getting a Matchbox car felt like a Lotto-level victory. Alas, as I was bordering on legal drinking age by 1999, this chance of a lifetime sadly eluded me.

Matchbox’s “Halloween Pack” clearly encouraged us to hand the toys out to trick-or-treaters. Says so right on the bag. It hasn’t even been ten years since these were in stores, and still the idea of giving Matchbox cars to strangers seems positively antique.

They weren’t Halloween themed, but these were the exact same Matchbox cars you’d find in toy stores, not at all scaled down or cheapened. Same packaging and everything. Containing ten cars, the “Halloween Pack” also included just as many coupons for various Matchbox products, I guess meaning that you were supposed to give each trick-or-treater a car and a coupon. Wishful thinking on Matchbox’s part. It was a stretch to assume that anyone would give such extravagant trinkets to total strangers, but the notion that such a person would go through the trouble of passing coupons along as well? Preposterous.

Giving toy cars to trick-or-treaters isn’t a concept we’re likely to see rehashed today, but have no fear! Such cars are still being marketed as perfect Halloween gifts. In fact, just this year, Matchbox’s main competitor debuted their own spin on “treat cars.”

From Hot Wheels, it’s the “Scary Cars” five-pack! I guess I can’t really claim that this is a new venture for Hot Wheels, as both they and Matchbox have been chucking out similar sets for the past few Halloween seasons.

The main difference between the “Scary Cars” set and the “Halloween Pack” is that these new ones aren’t at all meant to be handed to neighborhood kids dressed as pirates and princesses. Like I’ve been saying/writing, Halloween toys are now being pushed as off-season stocking stuffers. You’re supposed to give the “Scary Cars” pack to your own kid…not to some lousy beggar who smears chocolate hand crap all over your front door. It’s evidence of society’s changing values, or something like that.

And unlike the vehicles pilfered from 1999’s “Halloween Pack,” these are thoroughly down with the devil. I would assume that they simply repainted existing cars to fit in with the Halloween season, but I’m not really a Hot Wheels expert. I’m a Kool-Aid, cereal prize and Ninja Turtles expert, but I’m not a Hot Wheels expert. Apparently, that’s where I draw the line.

PS: This is the second entry I posted today. Click here for the other one. Treat it well. Comment on it. I don’t want people thinking that nobody gave a shit about my ghost-shaped marshmallows review, when the reality is that this entry was just posted too soon after that one. It’s an ego thing.

If you’re interested in further reading that somehow ties thematically to this one, I suggest this article and this article.

Also: Sorry for the delay, but to anyone who won one of the recent contests: Everything is in the mail as of now, assuming you got back to me when I asked for an address. If you didn’t, I have incinerated your intended prize with much glee.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!