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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Halloween Countdown ’08: Music, Monsters and Bugs.

For the past few years, our Halloween Jukebox has given me all the eerie audio I need to get through the season. And yet, every year, I still find myself picking up some lame Halloween "party mix" CD, either to honor a personal tradition or because I'm kind of an idiot with money.

You know what these albums are like. You've all owned at least one of 'em. Filled with classic Halloween songs (or at least borderline Halloween songs) performed by random faceless studio acts and stuffed with horribly out of place sound effects, they've been a staple of my Halloween experience for as long as I can remember.

The track listing is always the same, the CD cover art is always hokey, and there's always at least one song performed with such a vigorous level of cheese that you feel shame while listening to it even when nobody else is home. I love these albums and I always will. They inspire me to wear nylon capes that I'll never actually wear, and plan for Halloween parties that I'll never actually throw.

Whatever. Anticipation is 9/10ths, and if some ridiculous CD featuring a vampire wearing candy corn fangs on the cover can help fill my October with luscious daydreams, I see no problem with spending $10 to hear the Jumping Jam Jeewillies' take on Love Potion #9.

During that recent outing to the Spirit store, I picked up a few packages of Halloween party favors, which Spirit has dutifully wrapped in neat black nets with creepy header cards. They're pretty steep in price (a handful of rubber mice was selling for seven bucks), but the quality level is awesome.

Spirit carries everything from severed fingers to plastic bats in this style of packaging, but I think the two batches I chose stood high above the rest: Monster Finger Puppets, and FLIES!

The "Monster Finger Puppets" are truly tingle-worthy. You get a bag of 20 for five bucks, and if my math is right, this means that each finger puppet cost me a quarter. Not bad. They're the ultimate vending machine prizes, and they cost not a drop more than even the shittiest vending machine prizes. The puppets are really ghoulish, with grey/green skin and all sorts of pleasant zombie features.

Course, the real litmus test of any finger puppet is whether its manufacturer took adult consumers into consideration. I can confirm that the puppet holes are indeed large enough to slip over adult fingers. It might take a little effort, and your fingers might make the monsters bulge like those weird red guys from Dig Dug, but whether you're five or fifty, you can put on a stupid puppet show all the same.

You might not think that a bag of FLIES is as cool as a bag of undead finger puppets, and...yeah, you're right. They're definitely not as cool. But then, there are few things cooler than green zombie heads with exaggerated arms who slip over your pinkies and dance at your discretion. Still, for the same price as twenty of those amazing puppets, you get forty flies. Forty flies! A bargain and a Scattergories victory!

The flies are of the impossibly oversized variety, which is the leading reason why I bought them. They're a bit more misshapen than I could notice when they were piled in a black net, but it's not like I had much use for rubber flies in perfectly natural poses.

I'm not sure where my 20 Monster Finger Puppets and 40 FLIES will be in a year, but I'm glad they're here now.

Posted by Matt on 10/08/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 83 comments

Forty flies, ah? There’s a dirty joke there somewhere, but it’s… just… out… of reach.

Chestnuts roasted by Jyri_Krr @ 10/09/2008 2:10 PM


I just found an album of songs I’ve heard on Music Choice. They’re aimed squarely at the younger set, but you could say the same about most of the things featured on the countdown. There may be some kitsch value. Just click my name. It’s not for free, but there are samples of all ten songs on the album.

Chestnuts roasted by TB Tabby @ 10/09/2008 2:33 PM


Spectre = shit, man – Good luck.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 10/09/2008 2:39 PM


Do you have a Target near you? Right now, in their front section of cheap stuff they have a lot of Halloween stuff priced between $1 and $2.50 …   like that string of skull lights in the banner above – $2.50
 — oddly, I can’t remember what else they had right off. I knew I shouldn;t have went out drinking last night.

Chestnuts roasted by Hippie Joe @ 10/09/2008 3:11 PM


Matt: You sell a CD of the Halloween and Christmas Jukeboxes. You’d make millions off of us alone.  Screw all that trademark/copyright/you might get sued stuff.  Be BOLD! Buck the system.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 10/09/2008 3:41 PM


I’m guilty of buying these kind of CDs myself. A dance mix of “Time Warp” by not-even-close-to-sound-alikes? Mad Genius, or Psychotic Delusion? Even Ripley wouldn’t believe it.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/09/2008 4:08 PM


Where on earth do you store all of this stuff???

Chestnuts roasted by Mandymax @ 10/09/2008 4:23 PM


Click my name for those Monster Cereal Flexi discs, all in one convenient download, courtesy some random dude’s blog!

Chestnuts roasted by Beckner @ 10/09/2008 4:30 PM


The guy on that CD looks like some comedian…not sure of his name.  The finger puppets are awesome, the flies…not so much.  Maybe you throw some of them in as bonus prizes for a future contest. Norbert, I agree.  Pushing Daisies was pretty awesome last night.
Spectre, wow.  Take care of yourself.  You’ll be in my prayers.  Thank you for all you do for this country.

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 10/09/2008 6:38 PM


Spectre-Ditto on all the good wishes and thanks. Get home safe.

Chestnuts roasted by Pepe @ 10/09/2008 7:13 PM


Thank you, Spectre.
Sending Happy Halloween vibes your way, sir.

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 10/09/2008 7:32 PM


GOOB- Now that there are zombie finger puppets, you could have a zombie outbreak, or reenact “Night of the Livivng Dead”!

Chestnuts roasted by PlantMonster @ 10/09/2008 8:32 PM


that’s one pudgy vampire on that CD cover.

Chestnuts roasted by dedalusdedalus @ 10/09/2008 9:04 PM


that’s one pudgy vampire on that CD cover.  No joke. “Yo, Dracula, know when to say when with all the                neck-biting and the blood feasting.” On an unrelated topic, we went to the Fair today (the same carnival that Matt went to 1,00 years ago http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0902/) Anyway, among all the knock-off merchandise were giant ALF dolls with Hawaiian shirts on. Beyond bizarre.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 10/09/2008 10:05 PM


Forgive me the OT-ness, but is anybody planning to watch the premiere of Life on Mars tonight? Think it’s just starting for you East Coasties. I’m a little leery, but there’s still a Sopranos-shaped hole in my life and I could use a bit of Michael Imperioli back on my TV so I’m going to give it a shot.

Did I miss everybody crowing over getting their Ghoul-Aid in the mail? I’ve got a lot of roomies and a lot of mail and have started getting more convinced I missed it somehow. Something else arrived yesterday that at least helped soothe the disappointment, my official ballot! I’ma get my vote on :D

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/09/2008 10:09 PM


Awesome Simpsons  Treehouse of Horror Retrospective:

http://www.simpsonschannel.com/2008/10/treehouse-of-horror-retrospective/

Chestnuts roasted by Barry @ 10/09/2008 10:11 PM


So I’m watching the new South Park about how Steven Spielberg and Lucas are raping Indiana Jones. This is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
“Oh herro thank you!”

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 10/09/2008 10:23 PM


Rev: I am terrified of rubber snakes so every time we go to one of the Halloween stores or even a toy store, my fiance has to do the whole “Hey, Kasi!” and I turn around and he throws a huge rubber snake at me.  Last time I screamed bloody murder so loud the store manager asked if I needed to leave the store.

Speaking of armies of the undead, it looks like I’m getting a promotion at my new job (read: been there two weeks and I’m getting promoted to head of a department!).  So now I need the Corporate Zombies line of toys from The Cubes.  Or maybe a few of these would work just the same.  But these don’t glow in the dark…. how would I entertain myself if the electricity went out?  Oh, well, maybe quantity is better than quality and glow-in-the-dark-ness.

Chestnuts roasted by Special K @ 10/09/2008 10:24 PM


I’ve seen (and sold) all three Monster cereals at the grocery store where I work for almost two weeks now and have seen them at other stores in the Southern New Jersey area. Yes, all is truly right with the world.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 10/09/2008 10:46 PM


Buh… wha?.. no… post?

I DON’T WANNA LIVE!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Captain Will @ 10/10/2008 12:10 AM


–>> .. ? ? ah boogerbooger boogie ..

Chestnuts roasted by tOkKa @ 10/10/2008 1:25 AM


–>> .. ah boogerbooger boogie .. ~~

Chestnuts roasted by tOkKa @ 10/10/2008 1:26 AM


Spectre — thank you and well wishes!

I’m starting a mini-vacation! It’s well-needed, and a great time to catch up on costume-making, horror movie watching and other generally seasonal stuff! Hoo-ray!

Chestnuts roasted by Reni @ 10/10/2008 2:16 AM


I have to say that I love the halloween jukebox every year, but I love how it pops out as another window in my browser extra bold.  I gotta say, the selection of songs is extraordinary!

Chestnuts roasted by Tenacious Tate @ 10/10/2008 3:36 AM


Aww we got siked out :(   Oh well, more goodness for tomorrow then!! Right? :)

I was listening to the Halloween Jukebox on shuffle earlier because it’s the only way to go and Cry little sister came on.  I love that song, probably always will.  I was getting into the lyrics and I have to admit they sound a bit creepy.  I will probably sound like a dork but it sounds like he is telling his sister that no one will ever treat her like he does and so she needs to not get a boyfriend or a husband or anybody like that and just stay with him.  “come, come to your brother” Uh ok?  Ickiness.  Ickiness all around.  I can’t believe who I am saying this to, I love you but I am not in love with you?

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 10/10/2008 7:26 AM


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