Toys "R" Us is in Halloween mode, but as has been the norm for several years, their attempt is a little halfhearted. I guess there's no sense for them to try to compete with the ever-growing number of dedicated Halloween costume shops that arrive in September and explode come November, but I'm always disappointed when I see TRU's array of costumes and novelties limited to two sad mini-aisles.

When I was a kid, TRU was the definitive spot for all things Halloween, from costumes to colored hair spray, treat buckets, stupid reflective stickers and beyond. Our local TRU used to turn its entire entrance zone into a gigantic Halloween section, with the costume selection starting at the floor and making its way up to the ceiling on dangerously rendered fences. Shopping there was pure, glorious pandemonium, with parents and children alike using all body parts that could double as blunt instruments to push, shove and fight their way to the most desirable Don Post masks.

The Toys "R" Us Halloween section of today is just there to help them keep up appearances. Only kids who are excessively young and/or really don't give a shit about what they dress up as for Halloween would find shopping for a costume there acceptable.

I still go hunting for Countdown fodder at TRU every year, never expecting much and never finding much. Traditions are traditions. But! Perhaps sensing my impending annihilation of his store chain with the written (typed?) word, Geoffrey the Giraffe slipped me one item that was totally reviewable -- and something I haven't found at the many other stores I loiter in at this time of year. I take it back, TRU. You're aces, and so is this:

I first thought that this Play-Doh "Halloween Party Kit" would end up being one of those things with a really cool box and really boring contents, but I was so insanely wrong that I feel I deserve some length of jail time. Play-Doh always tosses out one or two simplistic Halloween-themed doodads each year, but this kit is way more inspired than their typical efforts. Only catch is, you need to pretend that you're five-years-old to enjoy it.

Companies use the term "party kit" pretty loosely, but this was clearly a labor of love for someone at Hasbro. Whoever devised this kit really thought about how Play-Doh could become the central theme of a Halloween party, and while I admit that it wouldn't be the party to end all parties, there are certainly enough ideas and goodies here to keep your guests occupied for, oh, seven or eight minutes. Again, assuming they're okay with pretending that they're five-year-olds.

For eight bucks, you get everything shown above. Eight small tubs of Play-Doh, four plastic knives, four Halloween playmats and four INCREDIBLE display domes. I CANNOT WAIT to tell you about the display domes, but they're way too good to blow my wad on just yet. You be patient over there.

The most endearing item in the kit is the "Halloween Party Guide," a pamphlet detailing how to decorate for your party, what kind of food to serve, ideas for activities, and unbiased suggestions that you offer random Play-Doh items as prizes for Halloween games. This pamphlet may prove to be a kid's first exposure to the type of overpassionate verbiage found in the many Family Circle Halloween editions I go through like grapes, and that warms my heart faster than the sun growing a big, fiery leg and stepping on me. If you think eight bucks is too much to spend on a big clump of Play-Doh and some plastic knives, trust me, this pamphlet makes up the difference.

You get four different playmats, each with a different spooky scene. The playmats feature tutorials on how to make monsters and mayhem out of Play-Doh, but it seems a bit wrong to have something as open-canvassy as Play-Doh just to build whatever some stupid playmat tells you to.

Hypocritically, I do enjoy one aspect of the playmats. They leave specific portions of the spooky scenes blank, so you can fill in the rest with Play-Doh pieces. The ghost eyes and mouths shown above aren't part of the art, but rather, they're flattened black Play-Doh balls of my own creation. Since the four mats feature different scenes and step-by-step how-to guides, we're encouraged to swap mats with our playmates every now and again to mix and match the fun.

And now you can forget everything you just read, because the real reason I'm writing about this kit is pictured above. DOMES! Sweet, heavenly, GLORIOUS domes! I have no right to love anything as much as I love...these...DOMES!

Domes!!!

So, the domes. To be used as display cases for your Play-Doh creations, I at first thought that the inclusion of THESE DOMES was wonderful -- but a little weird. Only after reading that party guide pamphlet did I understand their purpose. Since this kit is technically supposed to drive a Halloween party, THE DOMES will let your guests take their works of art home without risking the usual perils that await Play-Doh masterpieces in transit. Genius!

Course, since I'm pretty unlikely to throw a Halloween party focused on Play-Doh, I'm free to claim all of THE DOMES as my own. I like to consider them "specimen tanks," to safely contain the myriad Play-Doh creatures I find on distant planets. Two such creatures are shown above, but only the green slime monster in the foreground understands how much it sucks to spend life in a cheap specimen tank. The yarmulke-donning snowman alien is just happy to be alive.

I love these domes! Finally, a proper way to preserve our Play-Doh opuses forever and ever!

I don't know if Play-Doh's "Halloween Party Kit" would've been worth writing about if it didn't come with domes, but since I did, here I am. And now I'm leaving. To check on my domes! DOMES!

PS: I feel bad for starting this review off with ill notions about Toys "R" Us, for they have provided me with the true meaning of life: Play-Doh domes. As penance, let us revisit this old Halloween Countdown entry. Sorry, Geoffrey. You're my long-necked savior.