X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

09/18/2008: Halloween Countdown ‘08: “Haunted Evening” DVD!

Even when it isn’t Halloween time, I often consult a specific pile of horror movies from my DVD collection to serve as background noise for a night spent paying more attention to something else. It may seem odd to treat movies like Halloween 4 and Friday the 13th: Part 2 in the same way others treat fish tanks, lava lamps and those shitty indoor rock fountains that never look or work like the box says, but in lieu of leading a spirited protest against corrupt oil corporations, or chewing rocks, I’ve gotta find my rebel points somewhere.

Frequently, I’ll throw one of these movies on to drown out the silence whenever I feel like reading. The problem is that I’ll find myself rereading paragraphs several dozen times, because my mind will continually intertwine the written words with whatever expletives the onscreen characters shout as Jason skullfucks them. I’m fairly certain that the phrase, “HE’S FUCKING KILLING ME HELP HE’S FUCKING KILLING ME” cannot be counted among the quotations from any known dinosaur encyclopedia.

But Halloween is a magical time of year — and one full of suitable replacements.

How awesome is this? A spin on those sixty-minute “recordings of someone’s fireplace” DVDs they sell during Christmastime, this low-cost, low-rent Haunted Evening DVD adds an eerie ambiance to any room with a TV/DVD setup somewhere inside it. Featuring five different sequences, each “chapter” presents a motion video of a fairly stationary Halloween environment, ranging from a graveyard to a dungeon. Stuffed with inobtrusively low-fi Halloween sound effects, this DVD is an absolutely perfect way to set a spooky mood without paying a lot of attention.

I don’t want to infer that the “mood films” on this DVD are a big production, because they’re not. Example: One chapter features a shot of a plastic witch’s cauldron on someone’s coffee table for fifteen minutes. I’m working under the assumption that everything on this disc was the result of some guy pouring over his grandmother’s house one afternoon, with nothing but a bedsheet, a video camera and two red light bulbs to help him secure a spot in the next Cannes Film Festival. I don’t know who this guy is, but I’ve named him Coco. Coco the Nomad.

I don’t know why the photo above came out so dark, but it’s a shot of Haunted Evening playing on my television. I’m not sure if the excitement of this really translates in picture form, but trust me, it was palpable. This particular chapter (titled “Jack-O’-Lanterns”) rotated a few images of carved pumpkins, which sat perfectly still as various lighting and fog effects swarmed in the background.

It’s a simple concept done simply, but it works really well. While the ghost-shaped pinata currently hanging in the corner of our TV room just makes the place look cheap and gaudy, this Haunted Evening DVD actually succeeds in making me feel like I’m sharing living space with the spirits of long dead monsters and murderers. It’s the kind of stuff you can’t put a price on. Even if you could, it’d be far higher than the 9.99 Target charged me.

I suspect that the creators of Haunted Evening would’ve had a hard time trademarking such a vague concept, so there are probably ten trillion versions of this “scary background” DVD lurking in any stores bold enough to part with such treasures.

I just love this stupid DVD. It makes me joyful, and that’s not easy to do when there isn’t free string cheese involved. When I eat string cheese, I like to pretend that I’m an orangutan sucking ants off a stick. I secretly pray for someone to ask me which brand of string cheese I’m eating, so I can respond with a hearty “Polly-Oooh Oooh AH AH” before shitting into my hand and throwing it at them. Was that a run-on sentence? Let’s ask the Halloween Magic 8-Ball.

Fuck you 8-Ball.

Anyway, sorry about the crude orangutan bit. I guess I just have a little “work speak” left inside me from that old gig writing catalog descriptions for JCPenney.

Anyway Matt, looks like you got an extra “/” at the end of all the images in this post … resulting in broken images.

I’m sorry, I just had to post. I’ve never been seen this few comments before. Way to go Matt, posting at 11 in the morning! It will be very appreciated come lunch time when I have time to read it.

yep…my time O’ year! woo! Sitting around waiting for my phone interview with blue cross blue shield. *’scuse me a sec*…………………

Thank you so so so much for doing this again. It’s really a legitimate part of the season to me.

What happened to the final version of the Grow your own Haunted Castle? Did I miss it?

WOW my shih tzu Dottie Jean was hard core sniffing out this gigantic spider crawling cross the floor! She’s got a weird habit lately of eating insects. I wake up every morning and have to be careful not to step on cricket carcasses when I get out of bed. What is worse…is If I nap on the couch…I put my ds or psp next to me on the floor, and If I’m not careful, she kill the bug right next to my system…and I end up with a screen full of bug guts.

You know I often stayed away from these types of DVD’s but, since I am having a Halloween party this year I may get this for atmosphere to play in another room. The living room is designated for slahsers, ghosts, ghouls, blood, scares and thrills of horror movies.

Matt: I know the feeling of putting on a dvd while you read. Some how you end up mixing the two things together in your head and the dvd gets blended with the book. It’s almost like you create an all new story by integrating both the dvd and the book. Nothing better than when Michael Myers shows up to kill off a member of slitherian.

Answer is masked, you guess it??? I Guess magic 8 ball is out to lunch with his union leader.

This completely wins over the Yule Log video. In keeping up with the spirit of the season, you need to go to the store and buy a purple can of AMPD, tastes just like Pitch Black.

I thought my RSS feed was tricking me! YAY for an early post–although I should have saved it. Dangit!

This is so ridiculously awesome. Now, I’m going to have to go out and buy this damn thing and keep it running all the time!

I’m guilty of the “horror movies as background noise” thing, too. Usually it’s just stuff shown on TV I have no real interest in. A bit of gore and some screams create the perfect background for late nights spent in front of the PC.

Having said that, I really envie you for the awesome ambient DVD you got, Matt. Wish I could find something like that here.

How does one make a “Haunted” Fireplace? It looks just like those Christmas Fireplaces…..with different ambience.

Oh yeah, and Matt, I was so excited when the Halloween jukebox went up. I now live in the Gulf Coast (and soon Texas) so I count on this site’s holiday stuff to make me feel like I’m back home in NY where the leaves are falling and fireplace smoke fills the early evenings.

HOORAY! Halloween time is alive (or should I say dead get it?) on X-E!! Matt, for some reason your comment about the cauldron on a coffee table cracked me up so much, I’m forwarding it to my sister. LOL

Incidentally, I actually live in the region that plays the real Yule Log on Xmas Day on Channel 11. So I got that goin’ for me.

InvaderNorb: They did the yule log thing here on TV last year. If it went well they might do it again this year.

I am telling you this genre of videos is a racket. I wish I knew how to get in on making these. The secret to marketing them though is to sell them where Matt shops. You then have a guaranteed customer base via this site. I never would have bought this before reading about it here, yet now I can’t seem to live without it.

I went to a local Kroger this morning to pick up foodstuffs and had a moment of absolute elation when I saw a huge arch of black and orange balloons marking the Halloween section. They have some awesome Halloween-themed kitchen ware this year.

I almost bought this the other day at Target! You’ve sold me on it and I plan on picking it up after work today. Stupid work.

They have a lot of these types of videos out now. I actually saw one that was just puppies playing.

That’s something else. I had no idea that these DVDs existed. Though I’ll probably just go with the tried and true Hammer and Universal classics in the background this year.

I remember this REALLY cool Halloween DVD/Crystal Ball thing they had at Spencers Gifts a few years ago. Basically you turn your TV upside down and near a window and put the DVD in, you put the Crystal Ball on top of it and it a bunch of floating scary faces start popping up in the ball throwing taunts at you. Or you could get rid of the CB and it looks like the faces are floating. I only saw this once a few years ago. I didn’t buy it because it was kinda expensive, plus I’d be too lazy to even try turning a tv over on its side.

I actually went to Youtube to see if anyone had a video of what I described and actually found a short infomercial from the company that made those DVD’s call “Big Scream TV.” I want everything in this infomercial.

I have a DVD of spooky images I bought a couple of years ago. It’s a two disc set. One is a CD with music from different horror movies and TV shows, and the second has a automatic loop of images and the original “House On Haunted Hill.” The next year, I bought a similar set, a three disc that time, that includes suites from “Jaws” and “Psycho” with a “Night Of The Living Dead” DVD. If you’re going to get old horror movies, including William Castle and Roger Corman is a sacred duty. Now, if I can just rig a chair to buzz when I watch “The Tingler” then that would be a Hallowe’en worth it’s weight in candy corn.

Now, if I can just rig a chair to buzz when I watch “The Tingler” then that would be a Hallowe’en worth it’s weight in candy corn.

I love this. I think I would love it more in April. That way it would be playing when house guests come over and it would be an unspoken awkward oddity.

Your mention of playing Friday the 13th 2 for background noise makes me feel the need to let you guys know about my weekend.

I attended a screening of the first film (in its actual 35mm print glory!) in a giant theater. The whole thing was hosted by Tom Savini, Victor Miller, Harry Manferdini, and Ari Lehman, who attended a huge Q&A panel with Betsy Palmer and Adrienne King earlier that day.

Now, to head to Wal-Mart and hopefully find some sort of equivalent to the DVD you mentioned.

Matt, you must have been to Target because I was there last night and saw the same 8-Ball, then saw the same DVD.

nothing more fun than an over-excited Matt at the begining of a countdown… Enjoy it while you can, folks

there is literally nothing less scary than the video of the jack-o-lantern sitting on a hay bail - classic!

This dvd looks great, I better there are a lot of other versions as well. How much is said DVD?

You know I’ve never done the Yule log thing but I’d actually consider doing this!

I am sorry I used the “F” word, and the “BJ” word, and the “H” word, and the “SF” word, especially all in one comment. It won’t happen again, and going forward I will leave comments more properly befitting a lady, and a woman of the cloth, and a Big Boss.

I’ll flog myself diligently when I get home for talkin vulgar in this family restaurant.

Hmmm, looks interesting. I to like to put DVDs on in the background when I’m working (although it’s usually DVD commentaries).

That DVD is GREAT idea! It’s perfect to put on for atmosphere. I do the SAME thing with movies somtimes. I’ll put one on as background noise while i’m readin. And yes, like you, I often mix what’s bein said by the characters in the movie and what i’m readin together. P.S. String Cheese ABSOLUTELY RULES!! =)

Robert is the guy who’s been helping me reconstruct and upgrade the blog. The thing by his name will be available to all in due time.

It was a user icon — like a forum avatar. Currenly disabled as we’re not quite ready for that.

ugh….my teef hurt! friggin sinuses. Gotta go to the 24 hour Fed ex kinkos and fax an application to my temp agency. I hope I get one of these temp jobs….

I have seen the puppies playing DVD too! But it gets a little obnoxious because they start to bark.

I just realized that Slimer glows up there…HE GLOWS! Oh, how I wish for a nice yellow box of Ecto Cooler right about now. They need to bring that shit back for Halloween, dammit.

I was at a thrift store the other day when I was visiting home - they had tons of halloween and christmas things out - all for really cheap. I’m saving up some money to go and buy some stuff. Nothing really major - but for thirty and forty cents they have stuffed pumpkin dolls, little black cat statues, things like that, and they’re maybe a foot or two.

So happy to see these show up daily - they’re shorter than the regular articles - but there is some amazing stuff in the there. I really would like to get my hands on some of those Halloween Nerds…and the Magical Haunted castle…

Hm. Please let me know if I’m completely making this up - but do I remember Matt saying something about little contests this month? I put it completely to the wayside - now I’m excited about it!

I might even go out and buy some Jones Soda for the first time if I can find some. I was going to buy those cool black and blue jack-o-lantern ones last year, but I didn’t get around to it. I ogled them for a while though =D

And yeah, if I were at home I would love to have one of those mood dvd’s going on 24/7…

Another winner, Matt me hearty! I’m thinkin about making ye an honorary member of me crew!

Sorry for the double post, but I finally found the Scooby Doo Project online! It’s from a spoof Cartoon Network did when the Blair Witch Project first came out. It was part of their Halloween programming, if memory serves. Anyway, I’ve been looking for it for awhile, and I thought I’d share! Click my name to take you straight to it.

This seems sort of selfish and blog-hogging, but I am going to give it a shot anyhow. My bf found out a month ago he has melanoma, which is mostly treatable, so we did not freak out too terribly. Today, however, we found out it went to his lungs and possibly his brain and there is no proven effective treatment for his type of case and I am scared. So, I am hoping for a miracle and I am hoping that if anyone here is the praying type you can keep him in yours. That’s all, sorry for venting.

Dang kb that sucks. I know how it feels to go through somthin like that. I’ll send one up for ya. Promise!
On a more Halloweeny note, I found my mask from last year. I lost it again after findin it again, but it’s safely tucked away now, waiting for the big day,er night. Tomorrow i’m gonna go lookin for some Halloween stuff. Preferably somethin of the Skeleton variety.

Sorry I missed the launch. I tried to log on last night but there was an error message.
It doesn’t matter now because I got my F13 Part III jam kicking with 2 little girls dancing to DO THE FREDDY.
Halloween has arrived…

Oh, sure, the first day of my new job you have to go and post early. Sheesh. haha

OMG I can’t believe I missed seeing Robert’s avatar!! Thank you for doing all of the behind the scenes stuff Robert! I am a wanna be I probably couldn’t do it. I am always interested in learning but I have ALOT to learn yet. I’m a grasshopper, yep I am.

I think my good friend that calls every Thursday thinks I am nuts because the first thing I talked about tonight was this damn 9.95 cheesy background noise dvd. I said that it was awful and very stock footageish and he said sometimes that makes it better if it’s bad! Because of me he saw the movie Dead Alive. He loved it, and watched it twice to my knowledge.

The Rev. and I would choose the dungeon one. Because we are diverse and open minded when it comes to our sexuality like that. Right baby?

(I totally googled wordpress smileys just so I could do that smiley, and what the hell kinda comment did you post earlier that got removed?)

ThePlatinumStag Yes he said contests. Last year one of the contests he sent 5 people I think it was one ghoulaid packet each. It was the first 5 to email him I believe.

kb I am so so sorry about your boyfriend. I know when you love someone deeply and they are having health problems it cuts like a knife. I know my best friend had some health problems a few months ago and it hurt so much going through it. I practically started sobbing talking to him about it. He is still recovering, his leg is screwed up. You both will be in my thoughts.

Me and a friend were playing with an 8 ball in the Halloween section of Rite Aid. She asked it if I was gay and it said “Yes” and then I asked it if I’d ever find true love and it said “My reply is no.”

Would it be a ground breaking thing for a married straight woman to go Goobcrazy on the X-E blog, or is this the kind of thing that happens all the time?

I don’t remember the exact comment, but I guess it was mostly about…”O.S.” and “C.G.” and my “G.M.”

Actually, I rather like this idea. I may have to scout out this myself as background noise during October (I’ve been meaning to get a yule log, too). The “Jack O’Lantern” “ambiance” screensaver is kinda cool.

Call me crazy, but the dvd doesn’t do it for me. I was hoping that you’d bought one of those “80 horror movies on 3 dvds” sets that they sell for like 20 bucks or less around this time of year.

I’d much prefer to use that or a real horror movie during a party. And as to horror movies as background, Nightmare on Elm Street 3 and Hellraiser were on last weekend; those were my background noise. (I also “watched” all 3 ginger snaps the other night)

That’s not good however you put it, kb. I shall Beam some Bunnies towards you.

Rev. I could always use the egoboost! But I think it would be annoying as hell to others. Your going to have to email me on myspace by memory what your comment was.

On the subject of what great horror movies are great to play in the background I sometimes do watch a movie in the background that I have seen a million times while surfing the net or doing various household chores. Just any movie I have watched a million times that I don’t really need to pay attention to to know what is going on. They don’t need to be a movie that is a horror movie. Wayne’s world, Wedding singer, any Disney movie that was released on tape or in the theaters in the late 80’s and 90’s, Dead Alive, Labyrinth, Lost Boys, Nightmare Before Christmas (which I am planning on watching tonight!) Kids (don’t ask), Simpsons movie, any Simpsons episode, Terminator 1 and 2, Total Recall, list goes on.

Also I turned on the Halloween Jukebox last night, cranked it up loud enough that I could hear it in the kitchen and also my bedroom but I think the neighbor couldn’t really hear it and I went and reorganized things and caught up on dishes etc. it was really nice and it was on for at least 3 hours before the first run was over. That is a great way to just turn something on and not have to worry about what kind of music to choose or anything just push play.

There is someone on youtube that I know she is really into Halloween but more of the Martha Stewart style of Halloween and not our kind. You know the type, the crafty type. Anyway I don’t know if she would like our jukebox and I am overprotective of the things I love. You know like how I am with Rev. But anyway I don’t want to tell her about it! I told her about the countdown but she didn’t seem too interested in spending even more time online just reading about some guy’s thoughts about purchases from Target.

She lives in Hawaii so if she saw something she really liked and it wasn’t at Target, Walmart, or Kmart she would have to buy it online and it’s a POS from there. It’s hard to explain the attraction to the jukebox and to X-E in general. You either don’t get it or you are obsessed and try to change your schedule to fit it. At least that is what I think.

You know what would be awesome? This year doing a Christmas Tacky Gift exchange. I did it last year with another website. The person running it made a list of volunteers and you sent a gift to the person below you on the list. The last one on the list sent a gift to the first one.

I realize I’m a couple days late, but I just wanted to say, “Yaaaaaaay! X-E Halloween Countdown!”

Now if only I could find my Disney’s Halloween Treat DVD. I won it on eBay and promptly misplaced it. Sorrow.

You can find several versions of that special on youtube there is a guy that has a link in the description that you can download the whole thing I don’t know the link but if you scrounge around you can find it or just watch it on youtube the version I downloaded the magic mirror was hosting.

In the description there is the link. It took about an hour to download. I hope that is what you wanted!

ARRR! It be time to talk like a Pirate and generally do things in a Piratical nature!

It has come to my attention that many of your statements about myself in your web log posting is untrue and defamatory. You made them maliciously in order to fit your own ends. As such, they are defamatory per se. Under O.C.G.A. 51-5-11, this letter constitutes a demand for immediate retraction in writing of these false and libelous statements. In accordance with O.C.G.A 51-5-11(b) (1)(C), myself and co. deamand that your retraction and correction be accompanied by an editorial in which you specifically repudiated your libelous statements.

I will repeat this later with the new blog article but I just wanted to mention that Showtime is repeating tonight at 10:00pm the episode of Penn and Teller Bullshit when they talk about nostalgia and how people talk about the past like it was an ideal time to live in and in reality it isn’t as good as they remember it being.

I thought it was an interesting episode when I first saw it about 3 or so weeks ago. I kept on forgetting to mention it so here you go. They will repeat it of course if you miss it just look for it. I thought it would be a good topic of conversation.

I just updated the main page for the first time since the Bud Bowl. Not that there’s any reason to start there since all the action is here, but I’m curious to find out how many people actually though I hadn’t written anything since the Superbowl.

I used to check the main page on a regular basis for updates, and thought the site was long abandoned. I did this for months before I clicked Blog and found this underground society. What a happy day that was.

I haven’t checked the front page in a couple years; I’ve always had the blog bookmarked. Nice to see it updated anyway. It brings back fond memories of first-time visits.

the front page Looks great! Unlike everyone else I always start at the front page. Awesome!!!

drew do You are not alone. I, too, start at the main page.
On a totally unrelated but funny note, I just processed paperwork for a woman who’s first name is Titty. It’s not a nickname or short for anything. Her name is actually Titty. What were her parents thinking?

I love putting horror movies on as background sound. Right now I’ve got Idle Hands on. FTW!

Like many others I follow the website but never post. So, hooray, my first post! I always start at the home page so what a pleasant surprise today! Thanks Matt and hi by the way

I’m a big fan…and apparently a kiss up.

Aw (arrr), the front page looks nice. I always come directly to the blog too (or, more accurately, never really leave it) but I check out the front page every once in awhile for old time’s sake

I can’t believe the 8-Ball wants you to just guess yourself. That’s not very magic.

I just come to the blog via the main page. Imagine my surprise when I come here today and find the main page all Halloweenified. I know it sounds weird, but the Halloween countdown wouldn’t feel right without a Halloween skin on the main page. I don’t know how much time and effort it takes, Matt, but I appreciate it.

I come in from the main page too and was shocked to see that it was… changed!! Im lovin the Halloween stuff! Makes me itchy to get back to Walmart and buy some more decorations!!

Wow, the front page changed. I’m impressed! That shows that Matt is truly committed to the Halloween season. YAYAYAYA!

waiting around for a phone call regarding my hopefully new temp position. I love fall…lovely weather.

Thanks for all the advice on the previous posting regarding haunted house sights in the NY area. Unfortunately the wife and I don’t own a car so most of those places are out of reach for us. It looks like we just have Nightmare here, but I don’t know anyone who has ever checked it out. It is also rather expensive ($30) for something that will probably take 20 minutes, not counting the line.

…any day is a good day for rum! Damn that Havana Club bottle for being empty though, damn and indeed blast!

Ahoy mateys! Nice to see the main page has been Halloweenafied Matt ye scurvy dog. Like some of my fellow sea sailers, I check the main page. ARRRR!!!

Rum is best when it’s Passion Fruit Parrot Bay mixed with Pacific Cooler Capri Sun. If you’re really clever, you can mix it in one of the pouches, but I haven’t figured out how to do that whilst trashed.

I’m sooooo gonna rock this over the course of the next month or two. Good to see the page all spooky and updated and stuff! Kudos, yo.

Holy Snap Matt, you updated the front page!
If anything, that DVD is better then the Christmas ones because of the SKULL ACTION.
I don’t want no stupid fireplace, I want a skull sitting on my TV for half an hour.

How about a skull in a fireplace, sat upon crackling logs and enveloped in flickering flames? A fun game could be played of who can stick marshmallows-onna-stick through empty eye sockets.

If you guys make videos similar to the one that Matt mentions in his post, please let m e know, i think some of my fellow x-e-ers may have the knack to do it…. please upload it, and make avi’s or MPG’s or a DVD w/ menu or a VCD, and make an ISO, and make it DL’able, so i can play it on my x-bawks, and wacky pc.

kb, My positive thoughts, and hopes go to your Dude’s treatment and recovery, as well as to you and those closest for enduring this, I wish that I could say what to do to fix it. my prayers are with you guys.

Oopsie, almost forgot. Yaarrrhhh. Yo ho, hoist the colors, etc. gotta go, don’t wanna burn lunch.

However, I DO believe in Zombie Elvis. So today, I’m talking like Zombie Elvis.

Where might one procure this Haunted Evening DVD? I can’t find it anywhere online for sale.

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