After an unimpressive string of Magic 8-Ball branded spinoffs ranging from Count Olaf to Hannah Montana, Mattel finally got it right. Introducing: The Halloween Magic 8 Ball!
In preparation for this review, I did a little research. For all the time I’ve spent making important life decisions by way of Magic 8-Balls, I really didn’t know too much about them. Here’s a crash course…
The Magic 8-Ball was invented in 1946. The all-knowing die inside actually has twenty sides, which is around triple the amount I would’ve guessed had I been spontaneously ushered onto the set of a game show and forced to answer trivia questions in return for trips to Mexico. The eerie blue liquid inside each Magic 8-Ball is apparently nontoxic, but several fringe researchers have concluded that its effects as an edible aren’t exactly pleasant, citing headaches and nausea. Magic 8-Balls are not food.
My most important finding was that it’s woefully incorrect to shake a Magic 8-Ball before searching for its response. You’re just supposed to turn it gently and allow the die to float to the small window. When you shake it, all of the dyed water foams up and makes the answers hard to read, and what’s worse, there’s virtually no way to rid a Magic 8-Ball of “shake foam” once it gets in there. Magic 8-Balls are not maracas.
Blessed with this further education on Magic 8-Ballosity, I’m in a better position to sum up Mattel’s new Halloween edition: It’s exactly the same as a regular Magic 8-Ball, only the ball is purple, and the answers are a little cheekier. Does that justify its ten dollar price tag? Let’s ask the Magic 8-Ball:
Hmm. “You have a ghost of a chance” doesn’t really confirm if my Halloween Magic 8-Ball was worth ten bucks or not, but any grievances I may have had with this non-answer were eradicated upon noticing that the ball has a green monster mouth painted on it. I have a soft spot for arbitrarily positioned green monster mouths, especially when they’re slapped on items that bear no resemblance to monster faces whatsoever.
The die’s twenty faces provide a mix of classic Magic 8-Ball responses along with a few custom, pun-filled spooky answers. Its potential as the primary tool in some malformed drinking game notwithstanding, it’s a neat decoration that will make your living room feel 3% more Halloweeny.
I approve of this item, but I dunno — the normal, black Magic 8-Balls just feel a tad bit eerier, and I think I’d prefer an eerier looking ball to one that sneaks ghost puns into its little dog and pony show. I guess I half-approve of this item.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
Matt, I’m curious if you have any must-see Halloween hot spots in the NYC area. I’ve been here a couple of years but can’t get into the spirit without hayrides, haunted houses, and trick or treating. At least not here in Queens.