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Halloween Countdown 08: Grow Your Own Haunted Castle!

UPDATE: Now you can relive X-E's 2008 Halloween Countdown more easily than ever -- and in it's original design! On the top of the right-side column of every page herein, you'll see a master guide linking to all of 2008's Countdown articles! After you're done sifting through those, you can navigate to other X-E Halloween Countdowns. Enjoy!

Welcome to X-Entertainment's sixth annual Halloween Countdown -- your haunted hub for all things ghoulish! From now through Halloween, come back each weekday for a new spooky-themed article, covering everything from this year's best Halloween candy to yesteryear's worst Halloween movies. (I'll be posting on the weekends too, but let's consider those bonuses in case I want a day off.)


Longtime readers might be wondering why I'm doing the Countdown on the blog as opposed to the traditional packaging. Well, for one, I don't want to repeat last year's monumental disaster and burn out on Halloween long before it's actually Halloween. It makes me feel all Grinchy. Plus, a lot of the junk I want to cover are dishes best served in a couple of paragraphs, and it won't do me any favors to try to stretch everything into feature-length articles. In my old age, I've lost my zeal for filler.

I'm excited. I didn't pump myself up with Halloween madness in late August like I usually do, so there's more than enough gas left for me to spew nothing but orange and black bile for the next month and a half. I've already found a ton of Halloween stuff worthy of tribute, and the search has barely begun!

It's the start of the greatest trimester of the year -- a long stretch of death and darkness, followed by a turkey-laced conversion, followed by an enormous Christmas explosion. It's my favorite time to be alive, and it's by far my favorite time to run this site. I hope you'll all stick around and have fun in the comments. The thought that a fair number of you count X-E among your holiday traditions is more than enough motivation for me to blow each and every paycheck on stuff I'll take a few pictures of, write about and then never look at again.

Still doing some light tweaks here and there, but as you can see, the blog has been spookified. Big thanks to Brian Jacks for the amazing blog header. You might remember Brian from past X-E holiday designs. He's become a pretty busy little big shot, and it took a lot of begging to get him to grace us with his talents this year. I've been doing these Countdowns for a long time, and it just wouldn't feel right without one of his Photoshop jobs skulking about somewhere.

Similarly, the man/beast known as Tummi, another increasingly busy buddy of mine, sacrificed forty days and forty nights to deliver us a custom new Halloween Jukebox, now with more spooky songs than ever before! I listen to holiday music more than any other kind, so this juke goes well beyond a mere "novelty" for me. Give it a listen, and you too will lose count of how often you click that jukebox graphic between now and Halloween. (Hint: It's near the top of the right-side column on every page of the blog.)

What can you expect during this year's Countdown? Hmm: Toys, candy, movies, toons, contests, commercials, crafts, recipes and, if the stars align, crude sketches of ghosts who converse via word balloons. And my annual essay on why life sucks, disguised as a review of Charlie Brown's Halloween special.

Let's get this party started with something small. Ironically, someday, this something will be gigantic.


Just when you thought "Grow Your Own" toys peaked and were ready to tumble down the mountain, some mad scientist finds a way to top all past exhibits. A "Grow Your Own" Haunted Castle? I can't say that it's been a lifelong dream of mine, but I think that has more to do with me lacking an imaginative enough brain to conjure visions of something so incredible. In the end, I am mortal.

Sufficiently aided by ghost-laden packaging (a necessity to make the castle feel distinctly haunted, otherwise it'd pass as a simple medieval castle, and there's nothing Halloween Countdownish about that), the soon-to-be-ginormous abode is rough to the touch, and it kinda smells like one of those old scented Body Shop soap balls everyone seems to have owned at one point or another.

Soap balls -- is that what they were called? Maybe bath beads? They looked like big, edible marbles. Those things.

The castle is finely detailed, though I wonder how much of this detailing will be left intact after it spends days soaking and expanding in a tub of water. Course, I'm not giving my castle much of a chance of shine, as the only suitable container I could find to house its metamorphosis was a jar that formerly played host to a handful of sliced peaches.


I'm curious to see the final result, but I readily admit that this can only end badly. I'm also going to have to issue a surprising STRIKE ONE against this seemingly perfect item, as there's no easy way to keep the castle in an upright position as it grows. It seems clear that the castle will ultimately morph into some kind of sightless octopus with red-tipped tentacles, given its sideways position and the fact that its growth is now limited to the exact mass of ten ounces worth of Polar's peach slices.

But is that really something to complain about? A tiny haunted castle that slowly transforms into a giant, handicapped octopus? Christmas has come early.

According to the package, the castle's alien gestation lasts for up to ten days. Mark your calendars. I'll show you the results on 9/26. Which is evidently going to be a Friday. Hooray for Friday nights spent in ways worth bragging about.

See you tomorrow? That's how this works, you know.

Posted by Matt on 09/16/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 131 comments

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Great article/blog entry Matt! Woot for the Halloween countdown!

Chestnuts roasted by Phil G @ 09/16/2008 10:04 PM


Yay! It has finally begun! Thanks Matt, you made my day, my week and my month.
I can’t wait to see a time lapse on the GINORMOUS castle.
Butterflies ARE free…
The Target near me has started the conversion from Back to School to Halloween. I don’t get their new theme this year though. They need to hurry! Lowe’s already beat them to the full on display.

Chestnuts roasted by Pepe @ 09/16/2008 10:06 PM


Do the grow your own toys still come out all slimy and grotesque? If so, I guess all technology can’t advance as time goes on….

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 09/16/2008 10:07 PM


Pepe: Oh, Target’s theme this year is based around Domo — you can find all the info you need here.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/16/2008 10:07 PM


This is my first time participating in a halloween countdown.

I feel a little intimidated, like the outsider girl who transferred in from a school in a faraway town, who nobody asks to dance at the big Halloween party.

So I’m gonna pee in the punch bowl.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 09/16/2008 10:10 PM


YAY! I never get sick of those grow things, though they feel all slimy when you take them out.

PS I messaged our internet-less friend Bill, he says, “Hello!”

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 09/16/2008 10:13 PM


I always loved the “grow your own” goodies. Well, that and Sea Monkeys.

Chestnuts roasted by DC @ 09/16/2008 10:17 PM


Oh, yes.

This is what gets me through the first few perilous weeks of school. Keep up the good work, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Thorzul @ 09/16/2008 10:19 PM


Oh Yes! Halloween Countdown 2008! So pumped about the new jukebox. I must admit that I’ve been getting excited about halloween for the past 2 weeks, but since the weather has been pretty hot still, I haven’t been able to fully get into it. With tonight’s chill in the air and the first entry in the countdown, I’m fully immersed in halloween madness. Weeee!

Chestnuts roasted by Tenacious Tate @ 09/16/2008 10:20 PM


Well, I’m hoping that my soul wasn’t just eaten as the countdown has finally begun! Love the “Slashed” icons on the front page as well.

Chestnuts roasted by jjwspider @ 09/16/2008 10:20 PM


Weird Al’s Nature Trail To Hell on the jukebox?

Mercy me, my prayers for the last 2 years have finally been answered.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/16/2008 10:22 PM


Yay! The season is upon us!

I’m looking at the little icons at the “Discussion Thread” line and am not recognizing a couple. It looks like they’re made up of

Freddy
Predator? (or possibly somehow a Phantasm ball)
Jason
Candyman?
Michael Myers

Anyone know for sure?

Chestnuts roasted by mysteryd8 @ 09/16/2008 10:37 PM


Matt, can the crew and me use your castle as a stronghold for when them blasted Royal Navy swabs be hot on our tail? I bet when it grows to full size, them walls be impenetrable!

As for the rest of you, could anyone recommend some Halloweeny type books for to help me get into the spirit of things? I’m lookin for a whomping good yarn that can preferably be found on Amazon for a couple of bucks. You know, something Halloween related, with spookables, real vampires to which the traditional rules apply, werewolves, therewolves, therecastles etc., stuff like that. I need suggestions, I’ve run dry!

And not to be insultin’ the good lady-folk here, but me fiance be already pestering me to read that Twilight series, and it ain’t gonna happen. I’ve read a chapter or two, but I’m afraid that I lack the estrogen requirements to truly enjoy it. It’s just a shortcoming in me, please don’t burn down me apartment.

Chestnuts roasted by Captain Will @ 09/16/2008 10:42 PM


Matt, i think now would be a prudent time to point out my un conditional love for everything that you will do in the next three months. that is all.

Chestnuts roasted by vwarb @ 09/16/2008 10:42 PM


Captain Will, may I recommend ‘Salem’s Lot by Stephen King. It’s my favorite of his that I’ve read. I always thought it captured a feeling of impending doom very well.

Chestnuts roasted by Tenacious Tate @ 09/16/2008 10:46 PM


Yes! The best part of the year can now officially begin. I’ve already cued up Elvira on the X-E Jukebox.

Chestnuts roasted by Gdrock33 @ 09/16/2008 10:47 PM


Hey matt did you know about this?

http://www.entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?number=NC30653#top

Chestnuts roasted by gaastra @ 09/16/2008 10:56 PM


Matt are you really waiting til 10/26 for the results of the castle? If so, I wont be able to stand the suspence! ;)

Chestnuts roasted by crazy_mainer @ 09/16/2008 11:00 PM


Yes! I am so ready for the new countdown. I have been trying to get other people in the spirt too. We need some more X-E fans on plurk and twitter. I am a lone voice over there. I am mortalwind in both places. Keep up the good work Matt. This holloween season snuck up on me, so I am good and ready.

Chestnuts roasted by Mortalwind @ 09/16/2008 11:02 PM


Hey, Matt. Can’t wait for this year’s countdown. Just one little nitpick. You say you’ll show the results of the castle on 10/26. I think you mean 9/26.

Chestnuts roasted by BlackJack @ 09/16/2008 11:02 PM


Thanks guys. :) BlackJack: Oops, will correct that now.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/16/2008 11:03 PM


Yay, Halloween countdown time! I hope there’s no burn out this year, I have faith. I’m looking forward to it!

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 09/16/2008 11:19 PM


Remember, dude, warm water! That can make or break those things, I’ve found. Tool cool and nothing happens and too hot and the thing just kind of explodes and gets all fuzzy and weird. Either way, that water is gonna be mighty smelly after that thing is finished stagnating/growing.
SUPER excited for daily Halloween coverage :D

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 09/16/2008 11:21 PM


YES!!! Halloween on X-E is here once again! Thanks in advance, Matt. YOU DA MAN!

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 09/16/2008 11:34 PM


YES! I’m pumped! I love Halloween and it’s taken everything in my not to buy anything Halloweeny yet.

Chestnuts roasted by gingela5 @ 09/16/2008 11:40 PM


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