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09/06/2008: Killer Pens.

I chew pens, but I know where to draw the line. Despite the beautiful irony, you don’t chew Leatherface.


Maybe it was the reasonable prices, or maybe it was because Walgreen’s hasn’t dug up all of this year’s really great Halloween stuff yet. Whatever the reason, I couldn’t resist this trio of terrible pens, sold for two bucks a pop, each bearing the torso of one of Hollywood’s leading slashers.

I’m a little unsure of the target audience, since those who might appreciate pens topped with Leatherface figures generally aren’t young enough to get away with using pens topped with Leatherface figures. Wacky pens are pretty preteenish.

Of the trio, Leatherface is clearly the coolest. Based on the retardo cannibalo’s look from the original flick, the figure is perfectly detailed, right down to the meaty pink apron splotches. While Freddy and Jason are far more beloved, their pen figures are also way out of scale. Jason’s head looks about 30% smaller than a size I can rally behind, while Freddy’s claw is so oversized that I’m left wondering if he didn’t trade arms with some kind of giant, mutant mudpuppy. I’m not too pissy about this. It’s nice to see Leatherface win a slasher battle once in a while.


Also picked up this pair of Pocket Screamers, which improve upon past editions with a widened color palette, and in the case of the Pocket Screamer on the left, an exposed stomach. As if pushing their bellies isn’t something you would do just based off of some unspoken primal need, you’re rewarded for your effort: Crunch their stomachs, and the Pocket Screamers belt out bloodcurdling screams while they eyes light up.

While their rugged looks would seem to dictate masculine, bass-boosted bellows, I can confirm that it’s a total scream queen deal. It’s pretty incredible that a grayish zombie with rock star hair and an exposed viscus screams like a thirteen-year old girl, and if you think I’m exaggerating on the “pretty incredible,” you have to admit that it’s at least incredible enough to warrant spending my last few bucks on these rather than a giant bag of pretzels. On the other hand, I’m still thinking about those pretzels. It’s been hours, too. There was just something about them.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 287 comments

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My sweater makes a nice background for pen/Pocket Screamer pictures.

Ghosted by Matt @ 09/06/2008 8:38 PM EDT


I love seeing anything marketed towards children in any way related to something as macabre and sick as Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I’m feeling the Halloween spirit, too; I need to read some Goosebumps books and watch Phantasm real soon..

Ghosted by Review the World @ 09/06/2008 8:42 PM EDT


happy satter day

Ghosted by rusty @ 09/06/2008 8:43 PM EDT


yeah…happy SNT to everyone

Ghosted by shuanfu @ 09/06/2008 8:44 PM EDT


Brian: At Party City, I noticed that they were selling re-releases of a ton of Goosebumps books. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 09/06/2008 8:46 PM EDT


I still haven’t seen the Halloween nerds at my nearest Party City yet. I’m disappointed.

Ghosted by Boingophile @ 09/06/2008 8:48 PM EDT


Happy SNT everyone! I’ve spent the day repairing a fence, playing some Grand Theft Auto III (gotta get through the old ones before I can truly appreciate the new one), walking the dogs, watching some Spaced and buying ice cream. It wasn’t quite in that order though.

I think I might have to make a little pre-season trip to Walgreens. Those pens look right up my alley.

I’m turning 32 on Thursday and have nothing to do! Does anyone have any ideas for Knoxville, TN?

Geoff

Ghosted by mysteryd8 @ 09/06/2008 8:53 PM EDT


Sigh. That was the first time I’ve ever typed “32″ in reference to myself. Where has the time gone?

Ghosted by mysteryd8 @ 09/06/2008 8:54 PM EDT


those Pocket Screamers are pretty damn entertaining.. – i saw ‘em at a card and party supplies store last night.. – they’re the type of toy you get just to annoy others.. – like hiding it in your bookbag and randomly making it howl during study hall.. – that scream sounds like a hybrid of a Critter/Gremlin creature being burned alive.. – speaking of monsters.. has anyone watched Monster Quest on the History Channel? – Birdzilla and Skunky Monkeys represent!

Ghosted by Review the World @ 09/06/2008 8:56 PM EDT


Matt: thanks for the head’s up! somewhere in my parents’ basement i must still have tons of those books.. – also, being a cryptozoology fan yourself, you should check out the aforementioned Monster Quest if you haven’t seen it yet.. – kind of cheesy, but tons of fun..

Ghosted by Review the World @ 09/06/2008 8:58 PM EDT


No hallo-ma-ween stuff up here yet… Though the Sears Wishbook did arrive in the mail a few weeks ago. Is it me, or is Canada not as into the Halloween stuff as it used to be?

Ghosted by DocDragon @ 09/06/2008 8:58 PM EDT


Very cool, always nice to see the Halloween stuff long before it’s due. Still not feeling that Halloween vibe yet though.

Ghosted by Adam @ 09/06/2008 9:01 PM EDT


I almost forgot! Check out this Green Bay Packers/Penske contest. One of the animators for Robot Chicken did the animation and I provided the voices. Vote early and often to help me realize my dream of breaking into the voice-over business!

Ghosted by mysteryd8 @ 09/06/2008 9:02 PM EDT


More Halloween…I’m so happy ;_;;

Ghosted by Neg @ 09/06/2008 9:25 PM EDT


“Sigh”, I would LOVE to still be able to type “32″ in reference to myself. Age or waist size would be fine, lol. And I have a ton of those goosebumps books in bins in storage somewhere, that I swear the kids never even read. Happy SNT!

Ghosted by Casey @ 09/06/2008 9:28 PM EDT


In response to Ultraman – No, I don’t have NBC on DVD. :( Turns out my house is watching the game, so I have to watch as well. Glad to see more Halloween stuff! And, even though most of you haven’t read my blog, I was complaining about the unfair lack of fallish weather this time of year, and how its hard for me to get into Halloween without it. I guess someone heard me, cause the past 3-4 days its been real cool and fall like here in Oklahoma. Woohoo!

Anyhow, back to SNT. Do we have a topic?

Ghosted by Terror Claws @ 09/06/2008 9:32 PM EDT


Nice finds Matt!

I’ve definitely been in a Halloween mood lately. I’ve seen a ton of stuff including Freddy & Jason dolls at Walgreens and Halloween themed signs at Target featuring Domo-kun.

Ghosted by Anthony @ 09/06/2008 9:38 PM EDT


HAPPY SNT YA’LL!!! =D Hope ya’ll are havin a goodun. I want those pens, just like I want virtually all the other stuff Matt reviews. =)

Ghosted by Pantsless ULTRAMAN @ 09/06/2008 9:39 PM EDT


I haven’t seen in a super Halloweeny mood just yet. Still waiting for it not to be all t-shirty out. The good news is that I’m usually Hallofied by late August, so this might be the year that I can stick with it til the 31st.

Ghosted by Matt @ 09/06/2008 9:39 PM EDT


It kind of almost looks like the 3 slasher’s are in a conga line of back stabbing, which just begs for more characters on both ends.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 09/06/2008 9:40 PM EDT


Fun fact is that “seen” and “been” are interchangeable words.

Ghosted by Matt @ 09/06/2008 9:42 PM EDT


and plural slasher’s gets an apostrophe.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 09/06/2008 9:43 PM EDT


Somehow, the first day of September brought much colder weather here. The tips of the leaves are changing and I don’t feel guilty at all for spending nearly a hundred dollars a Michael’s today on fall related crap.
I haven’t quite gotten to the Halloween themed decor, but I do have scented candles and potpourri that make me feel that the fun is coming.

Ghosted by kb @ 09/06/2008 9:47 PM EDT


Anyone try the Pumpkin spice hershey kisses? There are also caramel apple and candycorn flavors…getting them all tommorow. I neeeeeddd some percocet! My sinuses are putting pressure on my teeth…

I already had 6 extra strength tylenols in the last 10 hours. It is not helping…anyway..not to be a debbie downer.

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 09/06/2008 9:47 PM EDT


I was also at Walgreens today and saw the animatronic Freddy/Jason dolls Anthony mentioned. They’re cool, and actually at a nice price of 20 bucks each.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 09/06/2008 9:51 PM EDT


I am forfeiting pants tonight as well, Ultraman. I am full of WINE and anti-pants. The more wine I drink, the further I want to be from my pants. WHAT IS WITH THAT???

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 09/06/2008 9:55 PM EDT


I’ll de-pant, posthaste!

Ghosted by Neg @ 09/06/2008 9:56 PM EDT


How’s this for a topic, since we did lamest worst monsters/slashers villains last week, how about monsters/slasher villains who you think are underrated and don’t get enough credit?

For me, I always thought the Puppetmaster Dolls were kinda neat.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 09/06/2008 9:56 PM EDT


@mandy_Reeves:

I was very hesitant about getting the pumpkin spice Hershey Kisses. There was no need to worry though, as they’re fantastic. Nary a chocolate flavor in sight.

The candy corn ones are great too, tasting more like white-chocolate butterscotch than actual candy corn.

I haven’t seen the caramel-apple Kisses yet though. Could they be three for three this year?

My girlfriend did find Brach’s caramel candy corn last week. It’s some of the best candy corn I’ve had, and I’m one of the few people that actually like the stuff from time to time.

Ghosted by mysteryd8 @ 09/06/2008 9:57 PM EDT


Pumpkin Head and Jack Frost are in my opinion the most underrated slashers.

Ghosted by Kid Nicky @ 09/06/2008 10:02 PM EDT


Went to a couple of stores today, including two Target’s, and only two of them had Halloween represented with a decent amount of merchandise. It looks like both Target’s are in the process of taking down the Back to School displays and getting ready to set up the Halloween stuff. Apparently, the running theme for some of this years merchandise is You’ve Been Booed with a ghost near the text. I’m really craving some bloody doughnuts right now, debating on running out and picking some up. Any requests?

Happy SNT!

Ghosted by jjwspider @ 09/06/2008 10:08 PM EDT


The urge to take yur pants off when youv’e had too much alchohol is only natural Rev. =)

Ghosted by Pantsless ULTRAMAN @ 09/06/2008 10:11 PM EDT


Happy SNT everybody. The tropical storm has left my neck of the woods soggy, but it WILL NOT dampen my spirits! Why? Because I just got all giggly and realized that with the fall rapidly approaching, so is my favorite thing evah: Sam Adams Octoberfest beer. How I love thee Octoberfest, let me count the ways…

Oh and I figure this crowd would appreciate Paul and Storm’s new Werewolf song: “Cruel, Cruel Moon” Listen and Enjoy, for it rocks: http://www.paulandstorm.com/lyrics/cruel-cruel-moon

Ghosted by Ann @ 09/06/2008 10:14 PM EDT


do boxers count as pantsless

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 09/06/2008 10:18 PM EDT


mandy Reeves yes they do =).

Ghosted by Pantsless ULTRAMAN @ 09/06/2008 10:33 PM EDT


Those are some great pens. I am not into slasher movies that much but I like looking at the merchandise for it.

mysteryd8 I’ll vote for you if you can tell me what SNT means.

Ghosted by Goob @ 09/06/2008 10:39 PM EDT


Hello X-E. Happy SNT! I hope everyone is doing well. I think this is the year my holiday spirit is back. I was excited last year, but this year it feels like it’s back in full force. I felt all tingly when I saw Halloween costumes in Walgreens last week. This is beginning to be the best time of year. Can’t wait!

I think Leatherface has the best topper, but Freddy has the best pen.

Ghosted by nork @ 09/06/2008 10:44 PM EDT


I’m just stuck here catching the incoming brunt of T.S. Hanna Montana.

And I like summer way more than Halloween, mainly because Halloween reminds me that Summer is over :(

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 09/06/2008 10:54 PM EDT


I love Fall BECAUSE it reminds that summer is over.=D Also Jason has the best pen and topper.

Ghosted by Pantsless ULTRAMAN @ 09/06/2008 10:58 PM EDT


Preach it, Ultraman!

Ghosted by Pantsless Neg @ 09/06/2008 10:59 PM EDT


I have a question that somebody here might be able to answer. I remember a toy from the 80s that they sold at the registers in the Toy R Us near my house. They were little rubber monster figures that had different smells like garbage, fish, manure, etc. They were kind of like a dog chew toy in appearance. I cannot find any information using Google on them and I have no idea what they were called. I am curious if anybody here remembers a toy like that and knows what they were called.

Ghosted by Jack @ 09/06/2008 11:15 PM EDT


It really has been nice here in Oklahoma this week, but it looks like it’s gonna get kind of hot again, boo. :( I was enjoying not having to run my stupid crappy AC all the time.

Ghosted by Annette @ 09/06/2008 11:18 PM EDT


The blood on the weapons is a nice touch. I would have killed for a Michael Myers pen though. “Killed”! Get it? Ha ha…I kill myself.

I’ll stop now. Sorry.

Ghosted by BUCKLY! @ 09/06/2008 11:24 PM EDT


Being Latin American, we have two holidays, Halloween and the Day of The Dead. One of
the things people do for the Dia de Los
Muertos is go into a cemetery and leave
food for the deceased. If anybody wants to
hear a weird Texas ghost story, Google the
Goat Man.

Ghosted by LoneStar76 @ 09/06/2008 11:30 PM EDT


@Goob:

Sorry, I was just finishing up season one of Pushing Daisies again. Hooray for a new season!

SNT means Saturday Night Thing or Saturday Night Thread.

Ghosted by mysteryd8 @ 09/06/2008 11:38 PM EDT


Weird, the information I read says that the Goat Man legend is a Maryland one too. I have lived here my whole life and never heard of it. Learn something new every day.

Ghosted by Anonymous @ 09/06/2008 11:48 PM EDT


Happy SNT everyone…I’m a wuss and heading to bed early! Love the pens–although the flesh color of leatherheads is an interesting choice.

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 09/06/2008 11:53 PM EDT


Lets all go to vegas right now. Lets eat bacon and drink gin with an elvis impersonator. I wanna party with the king. Who is coming with me.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 09/06/2008 11:54 PM EDT


I call Adam Carolla on the way to the airport, Rev.

Be there as soon as I can!

Ghosted by Neg @ 09/06/2008 11:58 PM EDT


I still have my cryptozoology coloring book entitled “MODERN MONSTERS”.
Everything from Skunk Ape to the Dover Demon is covered.

Stopped by our TARGET today. Only a trickle of Halloween stuff but the deluge is coming.

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 09/07/2008 12:09 AM EDT


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