X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

08/11/2008: THIS IS HULK MAN!

Just before leaving Coney Island, we spotted a vaguely defined souvenir shop, mixing the typical volley of local postcards and Coney-logo sportswear with a bunch of cheap, imported toys. Somewhere in the midst of all the battery-operated swimming frogs and chirping puppies, I found the greatest set of bootleg action figures ten bucks could possibly buy.

Painstakingly forged in China, it’s the Super Hero Super Action Series action figure five-pack! This concentrated mass of trademark infringements features some of the most poorly constructed action figures I’ve ever held, even by bootleg standards.

Mixing the Marvel and DC universes is par for the course with sets of this type (and indeed there are hundreds of similar sets on the black market), but this one goes the extra mile with the randomly included Mr. Incredible figure. That’s even better than the errant red Power Ranger who usually rounds out these collections.

I’ve seen enough of these sets to become desensitized to the poor translations littering the packaging, but it’d be criminal not to mention such gems as, “THIS IS BATMAN! HE WILL CATCH ALL BADDY!” Also, the back of the package proudly proclaims that “EACH SUPER HERO HAS HIS OWN SUPERFINE ACTION WEAPON,” which is neither true nor even lied about using actual words.

I apologize for the glare, but cheap plastic is pretty reflective. The Hulk and Thing figures are the best in the set, looking at least moderately the way they should. If you were going to complain that Hulk’s skimpy trunks are outside of his accepted costume canon, get a load of the rear view.

I can’t make much sense of the Batman figure, which is permanently positioned to ride a horse. Not a motorcycle, mind you, because that’d almost make sense. With legs spread that wide, horse jockeying is the only plausible explanation. Since the set lacks a horse figure (and oh how I would love to see these particular toymakers take a stab at that…), Batman finds himself unable to stand without the support of his sworn enemies from Marvel.

Course, the inability to stand is nothing compared to the poor guy’s face, which looks like the halfway point between zombie flesh and a wedge of aged Roquefort.

Despite Mr. Incredible’s toothpick-thin ankles, he’s somehow able to stand under his own power. This surprising plus is tempered by the package’s claim of some kind of button-operated electronic action feature, which not only doesn’t work, but actually doesn’t even exist. Oh, there’s a button all right, and there’s even what appears to be a loose interpretation of a light bulb on Mr. Incredible’s chest. But there’s no inner mechanics to make it do anything. I knew these bootleggers liked to make their stuff on the cheap, but I never pegged them for outright liars.

Spider-Man is the worst offender of all. At first glance, he seems okay enough. He looks like Spider-Man, and he comes with a big rubber web. A closer inspection reveals that one leg is longer than the other, and that his wrists are flanked by what could only be considered web shooters if you were being really creative in your answers.

Obviously there’s some demand for these shitty bootlegged figures, as they’ve been around forever. I still can’t figure out how certain companies, even nameless companies, manage to pull off such an obvious scam. It’s not like I expect government officials to start raiding potato chip stands in Coney Island, but toys like these are virtually everywhere, and you’d have to imagine that the trucks or boats or planes full of two-cent Batmans would’ve been caught by someone by now. On the other hand, I shouldn’t complain, as there are so few avenues to satisfy anyone’s morbid curiosity over what Hulk’s ass actually looks like.

Kinda like fly eyes, I think.

I like how the package proudly displays Superman, but Supes nowhere to be found.

I saw these at the Wisconsin State Fair on Friday and now I’m kicking myself for not picking them up!

Which superhero or group, pray tell, are representative of the nuclear/fallout shelter emblem on the front of the package? And what are those black weapon thingies all about?

Is Thing running a road race or something? Why is he sporting a number “4″ on his chest?

No just like a lot of people in Green Bay right now, Thing is a fan of the man, not the team.

Yeah, that’s pretty cool. I could occasionally find stuff like that in Wildwood if I looked hard enough. As Matt’s mentioned several times, the dollar stores there were priceless (and doubled as my “regular” dollar stores during the summer months, since the closest Dollar Tree to Wildwood is over the bridge and across the marshland in Rio Grande).

I love how spider-man gets no logo. I saw a very similar package like this that didn’t include the incredibles in a school text book once.

Oh! I just remembered, Matt there actually is a semi-internet famous bootleg white Batman riding a horse figure. I don’t have the link anymore, it was years ago but it was the most beautiful bootleg figure in town.

I love how the back of the package has a picture of Batman and Robin from the “Batman And Robin” movie and next to it is the Batman Beyond logo.
I have seen a set similar to this at the flea market only it was a 5 pack with all the same Spiderman in it.

Wow…is Batman’s face really that spotty? Looks like something somebody made with the airbrush tool in Mario Paint…

Never seen a bootleg so cheap they left off half of the figure’s pants, though. Amazing stuff.

dohopoki, I gotta know, what school textbook was THAT?! (I’m guessing something boring, like law, but I’m hoping your college allowed you to major in superheroes.)

Just noticing, but comparing Batman’s “Wide Stance” to the small waists of Hulk & Thing…

If they weren’t bootleg, this would be the greatest collection of toys ever. Only thing that could top it would be a WWE/WCW collection.

*sees the rear view picture of the Hulks naked ass, perplexed and a little disturbed*

the funny thing is that Batman figure actually is meant to be riding a horse. That’s why his legs are all kinds of screwed…You can see the real one in this auction, on the left:

I like how the package refers to him as “Batman Beyond”. Even though his costume looks colonial, and he’s molded to be riding a horse.

The Hulks ass is oddly hypnotic.
Batman is presenting his crotch to me.
This post is confusing me.

I think Spiderman’s hand thingies are to be used for suction cups. That’d be cool.
And, I sure thought Batman looked like he’s squatting to take a sh*t in the woods.

I just wanted to tell you guys a little story. I was aimlessly searching for obscure Saturday morning cartoons on youtube and I found this little gem.

Right after I watched the Dannon Sprinklins ad I remembered I had half of one of those big tubs of yogurt in the fridge so I ran to go get it. It was strawberry banana and I had one of those ah ha moments and looked in my cupboard. I have a container of assorted sprinkles I got about 4 years ago when I got a craving for an ice cream sundae. Because they are so old I taste tested a few, and they seemed alright to me to I poured some in my yogurt. I took a couple of bites and then poured some more in to get a better sprinkle to yogurt ratio. I will probably use the rest of the sprinkles up just by doing this because it was pretty good. The original product probably tasted sickly sweet like gogurt does and not like regular yogurt.

That Spiderman is so fantastically awful that I want it! I love all things Spiderman, including the oddities! I usually keep my eyes open for bootleg figures…just for the humor value!

Did anyone else notice the Thing’s non-rocky skin? Below the neck he’s basically an orange Hulk.

There are so many implied promises on this package that there’s no way it could live up to the hype. Where are Doc Ock, Superman, and Robin? Where can I find Spiderman’s amazing vehicle assortment? Why did Bruce Banner wear something that obviously wasn’t going to handle the transformation to Hulk? Does Thing have an extra pair of pants he can borrow? And yet I feel compelled to look for this when the state fair rolls into Oklahoma City this Fall…

Am I the only one disturbed by the position of Hulk’s and Thing’s neck while thy’re in the package? They look like they broke their necks.

Because I don’t want to break any hearts, let’s say yes, I majored in Super Heroes.

Honestly, when I first saw that “4″, I thought it was one of those “inspected by” stickers. Then came the “Oh…” moment. Man, that’s a lot of quotation marks for two sentences. I think I met my quote-a. Ba-dum-ching.

I have actually seen a set identical to this one. The only thing different was a Buz Lightyear instead of the incredibles character. These are great. Long live shitty bootlegs!

That’s funny, I just visited one of the local flea markets this past Sunday, and ran across (but didn’t purchase, dammit!) one of these very same five-packs … It did indeed feature Mr. Incredible, but the Batman was much uglier (and not suffering from rickets) plus the Thing had indeed been replaced by one of the faux-Power Rangers that you mentioned.

My dollar stores stopped carrying this kind of stuff a while ago, so now theres no reason to go to them :/ . While they DID carry boots, whoa. Power Ranger/Kamen Rider filled packaging with Teletubby figures (with the line apparently called Funny Toys Very); Best Wars, a bootleg Magnaboss Silverbolt with most of the underside parts missing, coming in a multitude of color combos, and his instructions printed on the back of the card with one letter on each step changed to make nonsense; Regalia, a Dragonflyz type toy line with Godzilla launchers and figures of Spider-man, Daredevil, Batman, and Zorro. Bring back the bootlegs dollar stores dammit

It’s always fun to try to pick out which legitimate figure a bootleg is based upon (if any at all). Now I can forgive the shoddy craftsmanship, and I can forgive the Engrish too (in fact, that’s one of the high points!), but come on, the package logos/art? Even in internet-repressive China, there is some access to Google Image Search - find some cooler/more accurate pictures at least. Since these are bootlegs anyway, it’s not like they’d worry about further copyright infringement.

I am reading this at work, and I’m giggling away like a damn idiot at the Hulk’s amazing third buttcheek (incredible, indeed!) and the delicate feminine ankles of some of these figures, and then you go and post something like that, and I spray water out of my face onto my desk like a defective braying jackass.

While the dog-faced animals still take the cake as being the worst toy ever, these come in a close second.

I had one of these packages with different figures and the wonderful phrase, “ALL THE SUPERHEROES IS COME!”

Did anyone else notice that Hulk and Thing’s bottoms are mixed up? Hulk should have the shredded pants, and Thing should have the little Speedo thing.

Matt you could have had waiterbot and photog dancing together in the background of that huld ass picture and I don’t think anyone would have noticed.

See that’s what really happens when a radioactive spider bites you. You get tumors in your wrists..

“Hulk Smash! Hulk smash walnuts with ass-cheeks! Hulk backs that ass up only for Betty, though!”

These are awesome. Spiperman looks like his face could come off in your palm. Reminds me of the time I bought a “Transformer” from a flea market in Ft. Lauderdale. The only problem was that it didn’t transform.

This was random: I was walking down in midtown Atlanta yesterday evening and I bumped into Lex Luger. He almost hit me in his Rascal/wheelchair thing. I said hi and believe it or not he stopped and thanked me for being a fan. I thought he would blow me off for sure.

Oh man… thank you for making me cry at my desk. I rarely comment but this was too good not to. I’m in love with this site.

It’s like a superhero convention mixed with the Village People. It’s like the Justice League of San Francisco. Not there’s anything wrong with that.

Matt… you realize what you must do now, right? Get a horse for Batman to sit on, STAT.

I love Faux-Spidey’s pose. It’s like “Ok, the jig is up. I am not the real Spiderman. But I am the only SPIDER-GUY!” (Seriously, there is a dollar store by me that sells a plastic bib that has a shoddy looking SPIDER-GUY emblazoned on it.)

Why is Hulk referred to as HULK MAN? The bootleggers didn’t even bother to try to change Superman to Superguy or Batman to Man Bat, so why Hulk Man??

And lordy, I would be cranky to if my head was contorted into that weird position.

I never took you all for the kind of elitist crowd who would judge a man or superhero for having the kind of hungry butt that tears his pants off his frame, devouring them.

Who here among us has never forcibly dislodged the pants from his or her legs, using only their rage and their muscular buttcheeks for leverage? Surely I am not the only one.

Ok, I’ve noticed some things, because I can’t stop reading/looking at this article and laughing my ass off.

1. Batguy’s suit - the upper left corner of his “chestpiece” seems to be falling down, and in need of some sewing repairs

2. Batguy’s crotch - I think that’s why the wide stance. There’s no tapering there, like HulkMan has with his frontal bikini. It looks rather bulky and … well, maybe Batguy wants to be a sumo wrestler.

3. Thing’s 4 - Is that supposed to be the Fantastic 4 logo? At first, I seriously thought it was one of those stickers factory workers put on things to show that they “checked them over” but I think we all know that no one was checking these guys over before they left for packaging.

first time poster, long time reader:
did you find any new pokemon items in the gift shop? You have not written about pokemon in a while. Just curious…..

At the local flea markets here, we regulary see bootlegs. But one of the awesomest bootlegs was for a spiderman toy. Well… SPADERMAN. We even made a song…

“SpaderMan
Spaderman…
Dooz wataver Spiderman Does
only cheaper, cause he’s a bootleg.”

We laughed a lot about that, because I think he still had a spider on his chest. In a rational world, it would have been a spade.

He was in a candy store under a display which bore the striking header: “FART SPRAY”.

I think the Hulk and Thing figures are exactly the same ‘cept the head sculpt and paint job.

Oh man, I love action figure sets like this. I bought one a year or so ago- the packaging was covered in the Batman Forever Question Mark logo (although the set contained no Batman), and the text along the box read “ALL THE SUPER HEROS IS COME”. I cherish it still.

We talked about Spader-Man a while back. I wondered if he was bitten by a radioactive James Spader.

it’s kind of creepy that the hulk and the things body are the same, but i loled this whole post

Somewhere around here I have a set like that of 5 Spider-Men,all made from the same shitty mold,with varying degrees of blue paint on their uniforms,allthough none of them have uniform coloring that’s quite the same as the real Spider-Man.

Rev. Back It On Up I am flattered that my comment turned you into a *looks up your comment to make sure I got it right* defective braying jackass. Really.

Actually when I was pondering on what I was going to say in my comment I was reflecting on the scene in the wedding singer when Adam’s character Robby is telling Drew’s character Julia that their friend said when he first saw her she was going to get it and he was going to be the one to give it to her. Also she was going to get it and she didn’t even know it yet. For having Adam AND Drew in it that isn’t that bad of a movie. One of my favorite comedies actually.

I am having technical problems with my videos I took friday night. I got quicktime lite to install and it works fine in there but when I go to the movie editor of choice it won’t play the sound saying that I don’t have the right media filter even though I installed the one I am supposed to. I turned quicktime lite into the pro version to try to convert the file into mov and that didn’t work either but I am going to try it again and if worst comes to worst I am going to crank out camtasia and record the video off the screen while recording the sound from the quicktime player and then making the video into whatever the hell I want it to be. Also I have software that I might be able to use to convert it to an mp4 that hopefully cyberlink powerdirector will tolerate it! This is actually driving me crazy. What I want to do is to put a bunch of clips together into one video that is it.

Monmouth Mall has a Dragon Ballz/Pokemon Trainer pack like that. It has Mr Incredible also and Hollywood Hogan. The same stand also has that NES plug and play thing and Hello Kitty back-packs

Who here among us has never forcibly dislodged the pants from his or her legs, using only their rage and their muscular buttcheeks for leverage? Surely I am not the only one.

TEN BUCKS?? Jeez, we get those things at our dollar store in town. Tons of bootlegs, including ‘Booty Pirates’, fake Jack Sparrow figures.

I’m definitely glad about the Incredible Hulk ass-reveal (thanks by the way), but how come none of the action figures have “junk”? Maybe I’m not remembering action figures how they were from my childhood, but do they never have junk at all? Or did these bootleg manufacturers decide to save plastic by skipping out on the junk?

ATD- Ummm…..I want that mcdonalds horse and those kids for my wedding present. no lie.

I got my pal a superfine bootleg transformer for X-mas one year. It proudly labeled itsself a, “Robot Transformable” and challeged us to, “Collect them all 9 types! COLLECT ALL ROBOT!”

Well, there’s one other reason for Batman’s legs to be like that and it also explains why the Thing and Hulk are so glad to see him. And why the Hulk has a bare ass…

Matt, use these figures to make a story like your old Skeletor Adventures. If you have
the time of course. You can have Spider-Man
say to the Hulk, “Whatever you do Hulk,
don’t fart.” I saw figures like this at my
local mall. One of them was a Woody figure
from Toy Story.

I love that they use the Batman Beyond logo with a picture from the Batman & Robin movie. This is good stuff

In a world where LOL has lost all meaning, I have to say that I truly did giggle audibly when I read that. Stupid sexy Flanders.

Yeah, instead of Superman, or someone along those lines, they decided to put Mr. Incredible. He just doesn’t go with the others, especially when standing next to them.

I’m surprised they didn’t have Batman’s ride He-Man’s green tiger or She-Ra’s flying horse.

the favorite thing about this for me was the close-up image of batman’s face.. - damn! - i guess bruce wayne forgot about shaving.. - i know the dark knight is supposed to be all dark and brooding and shit.. but he looks like an alley dwelling rapist in that photo!

Romi wants to see plastic penis. I’m pretty sure there are stores and/or websites out there that can help you own your own plastic penis.

I’ve been reading, just haven’t posted in months, but Sweet Jesus, this entry and the comments are the funniest I’ve read in a while. I have tears in my eyes. Someone came by my desk before and asked me if everything was okay. God, I need my own office….

Some of you may have been solicited by so-called big bosses, who offer no proof of their role as big boss. These “Brand X” bosses are on the market for a reason: to confuse you.

Bargain basement big bosses will make announcements that they give the orders. Well, I’m here to tell you that a quality, bona fide Big Boss doesn’t need to give the orders. A real Big Boss - a PROVEN Big Boss - can influence the environment for positive change. Discount, bootleg big bosses are like the spaderman of the big boss world - with fragile ankles and one limb shorter than the other, they haven’t got a leg to stand on.

I swear if I knew where you lived Rev. I’d stalk you, I wanna kiss you all over, and over and again, till the night closes in *high pitched squeel* TILL THE NIGHT CLOSES IIIIIIIIN

flabslapper, I am a serious hotshot. I’ve been in this damn alien sex cult for 9 years and nobody’s stalked me yet, so I’d say I’m about due! Word of warning, though, my husband is a kung fu teacher. Till the night closes in.

Is it just me or is the blog only half here? Like, depending on how I approach the blog I get either the blog or sorry not found message.

Comment #100 will be devoted to me saying that I have no clue, and that I wonder if the Summer jukebox will ever come up.

doho: that happens to me when I search for some of the older blog posts, if thats what you mean.
If thats not what you mean go to hell.

I’ve been thinking about that picture.
And the Hulk-Batman-Thing picture looks very much like Halloween at the Castro.
Just let the buff guys cover themselseves in body paint and let them say they’re whoever they want while the lewd Batman guy runs up and dry-humps every broad in a three-block radius and blames it on the tight crowd.

Joshc, no that’s not what I’m talking about at all. It’s so far off that I’m going to have to get Gastric bypass surgery just to recover from how much that was not what I was talking about.

Hey, good to see Josh, Doho and Kingklash all in one thread! I don’t want to be anti-megaparty, but I like it the nice quiet 70-100 count threads where the regulars amble in.

That said, anyone think perhaps stinkbutt might be the “special needs” big boss of this area?

I’d agree with that TC! He does seem to have a limited vocabulary and all so you could be totally spot on with your observation!

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I’ve been noticing that error too, doho. Think we just need to run a MySQL cleanup, whatever that means. Let me know if it keeps happening, though.

Bootleg toys are the greatest. I’m pretty sure I’ve got a TransMatrix figure upstairs that amounts to a complete Optimus Prime rip-off with no transformation feature.

The amazing part of the whole set is that if they changed the names slightly, they could probably get away with it. Essentially, copyright infringment has to have the name and look. Therefore, I could create a character called Badger Man that looked exactly like Wolverine and Marvel wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. Heck, DC Comics even owns a character copyright name of Spiderman, so they could potentially produce outrageous amounts of Spiderman merchandise with little Marvel could do.

Notice that poor horse’s Batman logo is upside down? You’d think that if they were going to all the trouble to make a detailed horse costume they would at least get the front logo straight…

So what do ya know about these Chinese toys?
Meant to rip off gullible, pre-teen boys

You got the Hulk and his big bare ass
At least he’s still as green as the softest grass

Batman’s blue and looks real whack
Like he just got ridden like Heath did in “Brokeback”

Mr. Incredible’s legs are thin, don’t ya see
But he stands on his own, much to Matt’s glee

The Thing looks like he got kicked by a llama
And what’s with his lips? They blacker than Barack Obama

Spiderman got these gadgets on his hands
Looks like some tumors the size of tuna cans

So Matt’s big haul is just a little cheap
But you got five heroes that still run squad deep

So it’s pretty much 10 dollars well spent
This the kinda shit that makes Matt pitch a tent

Am I the only one that has problems reaching the blog updates section by normal means. It seems like lately I am getting a lot of “page not found” and error screens when I do it that way. I assume by the error I got this morning it is a Wordpress issue of some sort.

Matt - Did you hear they are reporting that they have found a bigfoot corpse in Georgia - Pictures look iffy at best, but it is in for DNA testing supposed to have a conference on Friday with results. Reported on CNN.com. They are claiming it is the real deal.

That’s not the real bigfoot. I have the real bigfoot locked away in my garage freezer. He’s fit snugly between Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhart.

Nick, thanks — just looked it up. Who knows? I really wanna believe it, but part of me has to be a little skeptical of the decades-long wait for Bigfoot proof coming by way of a corpse shoved into a big fridge.

On their web page they stated their were others alive in the area and they are going back to catch one. Most likely all a load, but hey that would be bad ass for all the crytos if it was true. Who knows next it could be Chupacabra

could you please post a link to the bigfoot thing if you have it? i can’t seem to find the story on CNN

I know this is waaaaaaay down here and it’s probly never gonna get read, but my favorite part of the packaging (besides the word SUPERFINE, of course) is the fact that they introduce each character as if the prospective customer isn’t going to know who they are. I can’t think of a single person on the face of the planet who doesn’t know what Superman or Spider-man looks like.

On the cryptozooology tip: there’s a video online taken from a police cruiser chasing the infamous chupacabra.

The people that claim to have found the corpses webpage I believe is http://www.searchingforbigfoot.com. Tried to double check that but they are working on our bandwidth at the office today and it would let me in. CNN reported it yesturday.

I personally think its BS. I’ll be happy to admit I’m wrong if it turns out to be legit, but I doubt I will have to. One of the people involved is a known bigfoot hoaxer.

Spider-man’s been busy fightin’ all these cancer rumors
He goes around tellin’ people, “IT’S NOT A TOO-MA!”

ALSO. Forget Bigfoot, y’all, Chupacabra’s the real deal. That, or it’s one fucked up dog!

Hell ya, I have quite a few typos in that one, doing to many things at the same time. And my banwidth is jacked up so it wouldn’t let me double check the link. I’m just on the ball today. To many drinks last night.

OMG, I literally screamed out loud when they played a clip on TV of that chupacabra video. Is that real or what?!?

Are we seeing the same chupa videos? I just looked it up and it seemed pretty clearly to be a dog. Maybe I missed something? I want real chupas. :/

It’s all about perception, Matt. See, I don’t believe in the chupacabra therefore, all the videos I see, it just looks like a dog.

Hmm, I saw the evening news teaser clip version. They much have picked the chupacabraiest few seconds because I reacted like that scene in Signs where Joaquin Phoenix is watching the video of the Mexican birthday party.
I wanted real chupas too

I’ve always been a bit iffier than usual with Mr. Chupa because the appearances are rarely consistent; I remember one story where the monster is portrayed as some kind of albino, bat-like flying creature, as opposed to the doglike one here. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be wishing for.

This Bigfoot stuff is hilarious, though. I remain horribly skeptical because it seems like such a huge gag.

Maybe the chupa is like a Oprah or Kristy Alley that can completely change their appearance on a seemingly daily basis.

Frankly, I’d rather find out that Chubb-Chubbs are real than a chupacabra or Bigfoot (unless it’s the one from Harry and the Hendersons). I want the Yeti’s from Mummy 3 to be real too.

I’m surprised nobody ever edited a Jacks Links Jerky commercial to make it look like real bigfoot footage.

By the way, I know the server peeps were looking into what’s been causing the blog issues, so hopefully they’re over now. Let me know if you continue to get errors.

As far as Chupacabra’s concerned, I’m sure he was on his way to tell Bigfoot that he got caught by another poor camera angle. Hey, to be honest, the creature in the footage doesn’t look like any kind of canine that I’ve ever seen…dude, the snout alone gives me the creeps.

And on the bootleg action figures…ya gotta love ‘em. As lame as they are, it’s always a treat to see how far these back alley toy companies are willing to go by ripping off licensed characters in order to make a buck.

Recently a bootleg Rev. Back It On Up appeared in a subgenius forum. When that happened, I felt that I had truly “arrived”. Moments later, I wanted to truly “depart”, when I found out my imitator was a grouchy man.

I look forward to the beautiful day when the officially licensed imitation BIOU action figure goes into production.

Speaking of action figures, I recently got me a BlackArachnia from the TransFormers Animated line. Not a bad piece of work. I’m also looking askance at the new Classics being offered in the Universe line. I may have to get Prowl and Tankor (Octane), but the new Marvel ones are calling first. Spidey and Venom, you’re coming home with me! Even the Star Wars TransFormers are now under the “Crossovers” moniker.

I believe in Rev. Back It On Up. I also believe I want a life-size, anatomically correct, BIOU action figure.

I also believe stinkbutt, X-E Freestyle, and that guy that used to rave about Streets of Rage 2 are just a little bit “special.”

King Klash,don’t count out the Sunstreaker figure,it’s badass. When you perform the final step,his head automatically pops up and the ears pop into place,just like it would in an anime.
Also,G1 Sunstreaker is one of the molds Hasbro broke/lost over the years,so there won’t be a reissue. So if you want an inexspensive,non-played with,non-stickerless Sunstreaker,this is it.

Matt,are the Thing and Hulk figures articulated at the chest? It looks like they aren’t,but the toys they’re bootlegs of are. I mean,you can see the screen.
If I’m right about this,then that’s ghetto as hell.

Just to be clear,are we talking about the chupacabra video with the big fat cop and the hispanic cop with a cowboy hat? Because if we are,then IT’S A GODDAMN DOG.
At least the Bigfoot videos TRY to make you believe in them,this one is just a dog walking around outside.

The amazing thing about the bootleg figures that I’ve never truly considered was the fact that someone is producing molds and adding “articulation” to these figures. I mean it’s one thing if you can say I work for Hasbro and create bad-ass Star Wars figures, but what do you tell your family after you’ve created the bootleg Hulk figure? Seriously, I wonder how many simply tell their families that they’re secretly selling children on the black market….

Having always been enamored with the para-normal/supernatural stuff I have to know - does anyone else listen to Coast to Coast AM. Sometimes they do interesting stuff and other times the hosts are a little to off the wall for me.

“You can see the screen”? Was I drunk? I meant to say,you can see a seam,like the original figure had a “twistable” midsection,but these knockoffs don’t.

All kidding aside, these horses look abused, and look like they know it, unlike the kids dressed as McDonald’s fast food.

Hey, idk if this was mentioned, but i know what those things on Spidey’s wrists are, i remember having a Spiderman action figure with wrist things like that, except he came with a string and a suction cup or something like that, so he could “slide” on his “web”…ahh, where did my imagination go?

These are almost as scary as the Bart Simpson doll I won at the local fair some years back that had an URKEL voice chip inside of it. Imagine the tender delight of an eight year old boy winning the coveted prize of a Bart Simpson only to have it utter forth the most vile rendition of “Did I Do THAT?!” in the sad, long history of humanity.

Come to think of it, once I finish re-tooling my site, that may be the first article I’ll write. Hmm..

oh lord, Aberrant Phoenix! Thats like that Stacy doll that had SpiderMan’s voice in that one episode…maybe it wasn’t bootleg but a clever nod to the episode? But seriously you gotta put that on youtube, thats just awesome

Well, it is 6:00 a.m. here on the west coast, and in just a few hours we’ll know for sure whether or not those “Bigfoot remains” are just another hoax–or the real thing. This reporter remains skeptical yet intrigued. Will a new chapter in the book of human evolution be created…or closed?

This has been a pretty big couple of weeks for mythical creatures…first-Montauk Monster, second-Chupacabra, and third-BIG FOOT…I’m interested to see the photos and DNA evidence they release today

In other news, ‘Super Hero’ fan still missing after Comic Con, last seen wearing backless speedos with full green body paint and wandering into the streets in a drunken stupor…

I finally watched the chupacabra clip in full seven or eighteen times. He certainly looks a little prosaic to be draining livestock of blood, but that thing is so NOT a dog! Some kind of dog/coyote hybrid, maybe. But that profile view is not like any dog I’ve ever seen.
Happy Friday, folks

Wait, what? They found the Chupacabra and killed Bigfoot? Man, there goes the mystery.
If the Lockness Monster winds up dead from a boat propeler I’m going to be pissed.

I might just have to get Sunstreaker too. I’m debating on the retooling of Cybertron Soundwave into Universe Blaster. Mainly ’cause I’m still looking for Soundwave. But I will get Animated Soundwave, if only because this version has a SilverHawks-type gimmick in the guise of LaserBeak.

A local grocery store already has a small display of Hallowe’en candy out. If you want to seem like a big shot with the treats this year, start laying in your supplies now.

Totally True Confession: When I was a kid, I had a crush on the Loch Ness Monster.

It’s ok Rev. When I was little I had a crush on Angela from Who’s The Boss. That’s not too far off from Nessey.

As a transfan who hasn’t chimed in yet, I will definitely recommend Classics 2.0 Sunstreaker. Great figure, exellent robot mode, and theres only a few hints that the alt mode looks more like an actual car than a transformer.

And as soon as I find him, I’m snatching up Animated Soundwave. I also recommend getting Animated Jazz, he’s a pretty neat figure.

I had a crush on Minnie Mouse when I was a child from age 3-7. Don’t feel so bad Rev and Bill. I have you beat.

Clearly, my parents should have taken me to a psychologist much earlier than they did.

When I was a kid, I was totally crushed by the Loch Ness Monster, because I didn’t give him $3.50.

Looks like we will have to wait until next week to find out what exactly is the freezer creature. Their news conference didn’t say anything but next week they will do an autopsy, an they want a certain fox news reporter to film it. I guess Cousin Duane needed more time to get his costume ready for HD T.V. Why can’t they just role out the freezer dump the body. Say hear it is, yep that’s a fuckin bigfoot.

Hey all. As fishy as this Bigfoot thing is, man I want it to be true. That would rule. When do they say they can show it off?

Also, since we’re in the dregs of the thread here, I updated my blog on skill pr0n. You’ll just have to read it to understand. I think it’s my equivalent of Carracappa’s Disease (buying crap I can’t possibly use).

Avast, mateys! I were at the local Walgreen’s… and they be puttin Halloween stuff out! Popcorn Balls and Reese’s Pumpkins what are king sized this year! The season be almost upon us!

Steve E, I too used to have a crush on Minnie Mouse as a wee one, but I’ve grown up much since then. Now I’m in love with various anime characters.

Hey all! I love the bottom of a thread, no one’s reading, just waiting for a new article.

Now I am trying to think of a crush I had when I was younger that was weird. I must of had one because I have always been a unique individual.

When I was 17 I had a crush on Bea Arthur from the Maude era. I watched TV Land when it was a new network in the summer going into my Senior year of high school I watched all in the family, Sanford and son, and Maude Monday through Friday nights. What? I have always been attracted to women that are independent and aren’t afraid to compete in a men dominated world. And you gotta love the 70’s era scarves she was always wearing.

I just watched the movie Gacy I have always thought the people that went to his parties and then later found out what happened must feel traumatized. He was known to throw big parties and some people commented how he must of had a dead dog underneath his house because of the awful stench.

I had a crush on Mary Tyler Moore. I used to watch that all the time on Nick at Nite…..

Oh yeah, what does the Superman caption on that box say in full? I can see, “This is Superman! He will save the…” What’s the last word? I need to know!

Goob, that was probably around the same time as I was crushing on 70’s-era Randolph Mantooth from Emergency. (Er…Emergency! I was reluctant to add the exclamation point at the end of my sentence because I didn’t want it to seem like I was saying it with unnecessary fervor.)

The weirdest childhood crush I can think of was Bobby Sherman, which is only weird because I wasn’t born in 1960. My mom had a huge crush on him growing up, and when he came back on TV briefly in the mid 80’s, she would point out all the “dreamy” things about him. So, I went to kindergarten totally in love with a 40 year old man.

Yeah, I think we’re talking in terms of “in their prime” here. I hope at least.

One thing that happened during my forced hiatus was my Stimulus Check. After paying some bills and other sundry needs, I had enough to buy a Nintendo DS. Thanks to the Wal-Mart bargin bin, I have snagged Turn It Around (good starter game but not really good for anything else), Polarium (in a bundle with a neoprine case and extra styluseseses), Space Invaders Extreme (I live to use the laser), and last night I got Elite Beat Agents (same bundle as before, but seven bucks now!) and I am having a hard time putting it down! I’ll be hearing “Walkie-Talkie Man” in my sleep.

Capt. America: “Hulk…”
Hulk: “What?”
Capt. America: “Why are you wearing a speedo?”
Hulk: “Hulk think Chinese bootleggers sneak into room and steal pants. This is all Hulk has left.”
Spider-Man (without wrist tumors): “Well, you’ll be able to use your indecency as a weapon at least.”
Hulk: “Hulk have confession: Hulk think speedo snug in sensitive places. *turns around* Is there a draft in here?”
Thor: “GOD MY EYES!”
Spider-Man: “…And now Thor’s blind. Nice job, Hulk.”

I had a crush on Elvira…and I still think that 56 year old Mistress of the Dark is smoking…like the fist of an angry god, people…like a screen door in a hurricane…

I hope this does become the SNT, because then it can degenerate into total choas! And we all know how fun those can be. =D

I know what you mean, I just started digging through a box I haven’t unpacked yet looking for my old Madness cd’s.

Woah, KingKlash, thanks for the Silver Hawks reference. I’ve been trying to remember what the hell that show was for over 15 years. I was almost convinced that I had imagined the whole thing, but I googled the name and that’s them.

Now I can stop asking people if they recall ever watching a show with metallic armored angel things fighting in space. Finally.

Don’t feel bad JoshC. I moved almost 10 years ago and there is still boxes in my closet I never unpacked. I plan on doing it when I retire in 30 years.

I plan on moving again, Jack, It may be 4 years down the road, but I’ll still keep my things in boxes.
I’m always thinking ahead you see.

So…is there gonna be an official SNT or what? I need to know, only cause I have a link to a pretty funny blog that will illicit a few guffaws from the peanut gallery…I won’t post it til a new thread, only because I don’t want it buried

Yo Manimal!
Bill, thanks for the heads up about Fear Friday. I recorded The Dark Half and it made for a nice afternoon of half watching half napping.
Happy Saturday night everybody!

HAPPY SNY YA’LL!!! Just got back from takin a relaxin swim and starin at the stars. Now I gotta go check on my brother. I have to make sure he doesn’t puke on the floor.

Teddy Ray Oh you have picked an excellent choice. If you are interested in Elvira I suggest you watch this video. And part 2 as well. I made those videos that is my account. For anyone curious but not enough to click on the videos it’s Cassandra Peterson (the woman behind the Elvira character) on Loveline last October. It’s actually quite interesting, she has led a colorful and full life.

well I’m trying to research the vast internet for a ‘choose your own adventure’ book i read in grade school. The only one i ever read, and I remember certain pages, but that ain’t helping.

I just saw that stupid JC Penny commercial that copies off of The Breakfast Club. I hate that commercial so much. Don’t you?

Is anyone else ready for the Halloween threads to start? I know I’m jonesing for some horror movies and candy corn - I even picked up pumpkin shaped Peeps today!

SNT topic: Strangest place you were ever seen pantsless. My answer: In front of about 500 people at French Quarter Fest in New Orleans this April. Many thanks to the guy who busted open the portapotty door in front of the entire festival while I was in mid-stream. I felt like a real celebrity.