Okay, remember the infamous sandwich survey from a while back? Well, here’s another — and it’s fifty times more convoluted. (I hate doing an aside so early, but I may have to ban myself from using the word “convoluted.” It seems to creep its way into every entry.)
From the exact same Betty Crocker cookbook from the 1600s, there’s a “special helps” section near the end of the book detailing what was — at the time — considered the proper types and amounts of food to eat from each of the four food groups. I don’t know how Betty made all these plates of raw spinach and fish sticks look so appetizing over a dulled yellow background, but by God, Crocker knows kitchen karate.
Here’s how this survey will work, and like I said, it’s the c-word.
Your challenge: To the specs below, pick the full run of food you will eat in a day. Assume that things like salt, pepper, oil and vinegar are okay to add — but nothing else.
Over the course of one day, you’ve been allotted the following:
MEATS GROUP: Two servings, so you can pick two different things, or two of the same thing. For those curious, that shit in the lower left is canned tuna.
BREADS GROUP: Four servings. The stuff that looks like eggs is rice. The spoonful of dirt is wheat germ. Like you’re gonna pick that over Cheerios.
FRUITS AND VEGETABLES GROUP: Four servings. The leafy stuff is spinach.
MILK GROUP: Two servings. Stuff in the upper left is plain yogurt.
So, pick two meats, four breads, four fruits/veggies, and two milks. What an amazing survey!
In your responses, break it down by meals. I’ll go first.
BREAKFAST: The two stupid eggs, because I was sold on the paprika, and an apple. (1 MEAT, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)
LUNCH: The bowl of Cheerios, the two cubes of cheddar, and that plate of cute carrots. (1 BREAD, 1 MILK, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)
DINNER: First, I will toast that giant piece of bread. Then I’ll create some semblance of a meal by placing the burger on top of the bread, along with a slice of Swiss, and some of the spinach. I’ll use the remaining spinach and another plate of carrots to make a salad. And all will be well. (1 BREAD, 1 MEAT, 1 MILK, 2 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)
SNACKS: Without much leftover, I’ll take the waffle and another bowl of Cheerios, and an extra apple. (2 BREAD, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)
And there you have it.
Your turn, assuming you can make sense out of this. Try to justify your answers and give reasons, because a list of foods from 100 people could get a little daunting otherwise.
Maybe I should’ve reviewed the Amy Monkey Congo figure instead?
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
that wasn’t me. but i agree. i want to see the amy monkey or whatever it was.