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X-Entertainment is still feeling pretty bad about those lobsters.

08/03/2008: X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Worst Survey Ever.

Okay, remember the infamous sandwich survey from a while back? Well, here’s another — and it’s fifty times more convoluted. (I hate doing an aside so early, but I may have to ban myself from using the word “convoluted.” It seems to creep its way into every entry.)

From the exact same Betty Crocker cookbook from the 1600s, there’s a “special helps” section near the end of the book detailing what was — at the time — considered the proper types and amounts of food to eat from each of the four food groups. I don’t know how Betty made all these plates of raw spinach and fish sticks look so appetizing over a dulled yellow background, but by God, Crocker knows kitchen karate.


Here’s how this survey will work, and like I said, it’s the c-word.

Your challenge: To the specs below, pick the full run of food you will eat in a day. Assume that things like salt, pepper, oil and vinegar are okay to add — but nothing else.

Over the course of one day, you’ve been allotted the following:

MEATS GROUP: Two servings, so you can pick two different things, or two of the same thing. For those curious, that shit in the lower left is canned tuna.

BREADS GROUP: Four servings. The stuff that looks like eggs is rice. The spoonful of dirt is wheat germ. Like you’re gonna pick that over Cheerios.

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES GROUP: Four servings. The leafy stuff is spinach.

MILK GROUP: Two servings. Stuff in the upper left is plain yogurt.

So, pick two meats, four breads, four fruits/veggies, and two milks. What an amazing survey!

In your responses, break it down by meals. I’ll go first.

BREAKFAST: The two stupid eggs, because I was sold on the paprika, and an apple. (1 MEAT, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

LUNCH: The bowl of Cheerios, the two cubes of cheddar, and that plate of cute carrots. (1 BREAD, 1 MILK, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

DINNER: First, I will toast that giant piece of bread. Then I’ll create some semblance of a meal by placing the burger on top of the bread, along with a slice of Swiss, and some of the spinach. I’ll use the remaining spinach and another plate of carrots to make a salad. And all will be well. (1 BREAD, 1 MEAT, 1 MILK, 2 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

SNACKS: Without much leftover, I’ll take the waffle and another bowl of Cheerios, and an extra apple. (2 BREAD, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

And there you have it.

Your turn, assuming you can make sense out of this. Try to justify your answers and give reasons, because a list of foods from 100 people could get a little daunting otherwise.

Maybe I should’ve reviewed the Amy Monkey Congo figure instead?


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 232 comments

Okay, that truly is the worst survey ever.

Ghosted by Saira Bee @ 08/05/2008 9:04 PM EDT


canCon- Yes, my old dentist used to drink that religiously. Yuck.

Ghosted by kb @ 08/05/2008 10:12 PM EDT


It would be interesting if this was the last entry I ever posted.

Ghosted by Matt @ 08/05/2008 10:16 PM EDT


Mwuahahaha

Ghosted by Neg @ 08/05/2008 10:21 PM EDT


Yeah, the more I look at this survey the less I like it.

Ghosted by Bill @ 08/05/2008 10:27 PM EDT


Matt,

That would be cruel, to end your great run with something from a weight watchers points guide.

Not with a bang, but a whimper…

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 08/05/2008 10:39 PM EDT


I am starting to mold my diet around this survey. Thanks! : )

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 08/05/2008 11:17 PM EDT


Terror Claws: Nice to here from ya buddie! =)
Matt:I want you to know, that I TRUELY AM a HUGE FAN of yur sense of humor!XD

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/05/2008 11:28 PM EDT


Did you just miss two posts on us Matt?

C’mon now.
Nah, i understand you’re busy.

Ghosted by Hazard @ 08/06/2008 5:40 AM EDT


I didn’t like this survey to begin with. Too much math, not enough PVC or red dye #12.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 08/06/2008 7:56 AM EDT


Agh my mom has some of these really old cookbooks. They belonged to my great grandmother and she treasures them. Incredibly, most of the food looks terrible but tastes great, since they were not afraid of frying, tons of butter and cream and general “heartiness” back then. So there are some totally awesome tasting stuff in there, you just have to ignore the barf-worthy photos.

However, their servings of stuff looks really disgusting here. You know what this looks like? Trying to pick out your “menu” when you are hospitalized. It’s full of disgusting healthy stuff that is ten times worse, because its prepared in a hospital and is about “school food” quality, or worse.

BREAKFAST: CHERRIOS, BANANA (x2 FOR A WHOLE NANER), CUP OF MILK
LUNCH: CHICKEN LEG, CARROTS, RICE
DINNER: THE FOUR MEATY STICKS WITH THE GREEN STUFF, APPLE, THE BREAD THING (FOR THE MEATY STICKS)
SNACKTIME: ANOTHER MILK CUP, WAFFLE

I think that does it. What are the meaty sticks anyway?

Ghosted by kittygirl @ 08/06/2008 10:25 AM EDT


Heh, I thought those were breakfast sausages when I chose my list, but I think they’re actually fish sticks. I don’t want to wrap waffles around fish sticks and eat it for breakfast :x

Where IS kingklash lately??? Last I recall he was having some internet issues, but it’s been awhile now :(

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 08/06/2008 10:38 AM EDT


I wonder if the food looks so bad b/c they didn’t have “food stylists” back then. So, when it came out of the oven that’s what was photographed.

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 08/06/2008 10:42 AM EDT


I think that does it. What are the meaty sticks anyway?

School food processing plant worker fingers.

They never did find the thumb.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 08/06/2008 11:45 AM EDT


Ok iv’e had enough of this survey. Now i’m ready for the amy monkey congo action figure review. =) Iv’e been thinking about it nonstop since Matt brought it up! I can wait though.=)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/06/2008 2:16 PM EDT


All I can say after completing this little exercise is thank god I don’t give a crap about what I ingest…I couldn’t go through this kind of bull every time I wanted to scarf something. Meals are so much easier when they come from a Taco Bell drive-thru window.

Breakfast: Cottage cheese with cut-up apple and melon (I figure it might kinda halfway taste like Cottage Doubles, which I love) on top of 2 waffles. (1 milk, 2 fruit/veggie, 2 bread)

Lunch: Fish sticks, more melon (FFS I don’t even like cantelope and I’m eating it twice) and some carrots, plain if raw or with some oil or something if cooked. (1 meat, 2 fruits/veggies)

Dinner: Deviled eggs because I lof them, rice, and cereal with milk. Yeah, I ran out of stuff I like, but honestly, this is more the kind of “meal” I eat as it is…as in, whatever the hell is handy and either doesn’t require cooking at all or doesn’t require me to monitor it as it cooks. (1 meat, 2 bread, 1 milk)

Can you tell I’m not a huge fan of veggies? Uck. However, I now have a serious craving for a huge bowl of cereal and milk…too bad I can never keep milk in the house; it always goes bad before I can use it up since it’s just me and the cat, and he’s lactose intolerant. Hee.

Ghosted by Nicole @ 08/06/2008 2:37 PM EDT


Matt,
I have been a long time supporter of letting you post on your schedule with no complaints from the mob. I’ve also always believed that if the day ever comes that you no longer feel the desire to continue X-E, that is your call. What I can’t support is you ever shutting down the site without telling me three things.
What was Waiterbot doing behind that box of Otter Pops? Are Coconut Crabs more important in the big picture than man realizes? And maybe the most important question of all, WHAT BECAME OF RETARDED PENGUIN??? I need closure with that top hat wearing little guy…

Ghosted by Saint @ 08/06/2008 5:57 PM EDT


Nicole: I know what you mean. I would HATE to have to do that math EVERY TIME I made myself something to eat.lol.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/06/2008 6:58 PM EDT


So…I have a job interview on Tuesday!!!!!! Woo!

I was told they got 60 resumes and narrowed it down to me and three others…wow. Even if I don’t get it, I’m thrilled to have been picked out of the field of 60 to be even considered for a job. It’s dealing with Medicare payments to a doctor’s office, and answering phones and scheduling appointments.

Also, I have an interview with Horizon Blue Cross blue shield, wich is a 6 month assignment wich could go permanent.

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 08/06/2008 8:48 PM EDT


Alright Mandy, congrats! good luck withe both interviews…hopefully one of them will be the right job!

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 08/06/2008 10:04 PM EDT


Man I can’t wait till Fall! I wish I could live like it was Halloween all year round! I know iv’e said that before, but I mean it. =)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/06/2008 10:16 PM EDT


Well, I FINALLY TRIED that six saltine crackers challenge! I managed to do it! It was’nt as easy as I thought it would be, but it wasn’t exactly hard either.=)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/07/2008 12:57 AM EDT


Good luck with the interviews Mandy!

Ghosted by JoshC @ 08/07/2008 3:25 AM EDT


I evolved a Mudkip.

Tell me I’m a bad bad bad bad man~

Ghosted by Neg @ 08/07/2008 4:57 AM EDT


I’d go for an all day meal of Cheerios and the waffle, as being about 20 years old, I doubt the rest of the food would be edible or particularly pleasant. While we know that the all-encompassing goodness of Cheerios is able to resist any kind of bacteria, mold, or other decay – and waffles are always good.

Ghosted by SonOfFeck @ 08/07/2008 9:00 AM EDT


Neg, you are a bad bad bad bad man.
What did that poor Mudkip ever do to you?

Ghosted by JoshC @ 08/07/2008 12:07 PM EDT


I don’t know what a mudkip is, but you get back in the lab and devolve it post haste. I am the big boss.

Also, X-E Matt is a Satan. He posted this impossible survey, this torturous nutritional conflict, this veritable fracas setup of unpalatable foods, each one worse than the last, and then disappeared, leaving us rending our garments and daydreaming of tuna and cheerios. Nobody but the prince of darkness would do that, especially to us, who are known far and wide to be the gentlest blog readers anywhere.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 08/07/2008 12:58 PM EDT


Trust me NEG, there are badder men on the planet than you. Click on this link for proof:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=N_2cIkLAGRk

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 08/07/2008 2:43 PM EDT


Neg:No yur NOT a bad man. At least not for doin that. Mudkip became all around FAR superior when it turned into a Marshstomp!
Rev.BIOU: Mudkip is a pokemon. And just so you know, I love pokemon! =D

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/07/2008 4:35 PM EDT


….Aaaaaand I’m back!
Mudkips make lousy sandwiches. Never ask them for a peanut butter and jelly.

Ghosted by kingklash finally getting his internet fix @ 08/07/2008 4:40 PM EDT


I have been way too lazy to actually answer this survey. And I still am. So I don’t know why I’m posting.

Hi, kingklash!

Ghosted by Annette @ 08/07/2008 4:55 PM EDT


I really hope this isn’t the last X-E blog post for forever.

Ghosted by mezzanine @ 08/07/2008 5:21 PM EDT


Evenin’ Kingklash.

Ghosted by JoshC @ 08/07/2008 5:24 PM EDT


Welcome back Kingklash! =)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/07/2008 6:15 PM EDT


Once more, I’m getting used to a new ‘net set-up. AT&T High Speed this time. The boss takes his time on deciding business stuff, but he makes the big money, so he knows what he’s doing. And, once we get used to each other, I think the new service and I will get along pretty well.

My people, back in the old days, had a delicious buffalo for breakfast, one for lunch, and a light buffalo dinner, and maybe a snack of elk. That was just the Kiowa side. Teh Choctaw side most likely ate wild pig, gators, crawfish, fruits, orangutans, breakfast cereals…

Ghosted by kingklash @ 08/07/2008 6:37 PM EDT


for some reason, this survey seems too much like math to me.

Ghosted by Amy @ 08/07/2008 8:58 PM EDT


mandy, dealing with Medicare? Yeeesh. Horizon… I take it your in Jersey then? I think that’s where Horizon is based out of, at least from what I deal with. Hoping to start taking classes for the CPC exam soon. Gotta find out where in Reading they’re having them first then I gotta put in for a loan and cross my fingers that I pass the test so the company will reimburse it.

God I’ve been busy lately… @_@

Hey anyone going to be at Otakon this weekend? I’m going Saturday and crossing my fingers they don’t fill up. But if they do, HELLLLLLOOOOOO Baltimore Aquarium.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 08/07/2008 9:09 PM EDT


I am offically sick of this survey. lol. I liked the one befor this one better. =)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/07/2008 9:10 PM EDT


awww, mystie’s a career girl now…it’s so cute!

Ghosted by Amy @ 08/07/2008 9:27 PM EDT


Yeah me too Mystie…fortunatley where I just graduated from, they have the classes there.

Yep Jersey, I live about 20 minutes from the Horizon head office.

I have to go Monday to the colleges main campus and apply for a pell grant. I am not to sure what I have to take…I think its the CPC prep course, I’m pretty sure. This thing I just did was through the unemployment agency and I got to go for free.

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 08/07/2008 9:50 PM EDT


am i the last one to find out that x-entertainment has its own wikipedia entry?

Ghosted by TOmmy! @ 08/07/2008 10:04 PM EDT


probably due to this survey I bought Cheerios today and ate some. The new OAT Cheerios with oat clusters. Very good, actually. Will eat more before bed.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 08/07/2008 10:07 PM EDT


TOmmy!:I think it’s safe to say yes. Don’t worry about it though.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/07/2008 10:14 PM EDT


She’s not just a Marshstomp. She’s a Swampert :o

That’s what happens when you take the everstone away from a lvl 50 Mudkip.

Kingklash ^___^

Ghosted by Neg @ 08/07/2008 10:18 PM EDT


Neg:I LOVE Swampert! Mine is VERY fierce in battle! I raised him very carefully. After I bred ALOT of Mudkips to get the nature I wanted. lol. I would still like to battle ya sometime Neg. Even though yur not big into battling. Just somethin to think about>

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/07/2008 10:35 PM EDT


thankyou ULTRAMAN! worry i shant! if any old school wrestling fans are around… that want to kill 3 hours or so… i just found out the other day that youku.com has alot of old 80’s and 90’s wrestling pay per view events up… im sad to say I already watched Wrestlemania 2 (1986) AND the Royal Rumble from 1990… not all at once though… :-D

Ghosted by TOmmy! @ 08/07/2008 10:48 PM EDT


awww, mystie’s a career girl now…it’s so cute!

Yeah you should have seen me today all up on the spreadsheets and training the department on new procedures and shit. But yeah I’ve had precious little time even for blogging lately. Essentially, I’ve been reorganizing everything I own so that my boyfriend can move in as soon as he finds a job in the area aaaaand considering I still live with my parents, it’s quite the task to clear up space without having to sacrifice too many precious novelty items.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 08/07/2008 10:52 PM EDT


oh, and kingklash is finally back, it felt weird around here. WELCOME!

Ghosted by kb @ 08/07/2008 11:23 PM EDT


TOmmy! – Thanks for the site!! Watching Royal Rumble 1994 right now….Ahh Bret Hart – u are still me hero!

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 08/07/2008 11:50 PM EDT


please review congo figures

Ghosted by AMY @ 08/08/2008 12:19 AM EDT


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