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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Worst Survey Ever.

Okay, remember the infamous sandwich survey from a while back? Well, here's another -- and it's fifty times more convoluted. (I hate doing an aside so early, but I may have to ban myself from using the word "convoluted." It seems to creep its way into every entry.)

From the exact same Betty Crocker cookbook from the 1600s, there's a "special helps" section near the end of the book detailing what was -- at the time -- considered the proper types and amounts of food to eat from each of the four food groups. I don't know how Betty made all these plates of raw spinach and fish sticks look so appetizing over a dulled yellow background, but by God, Crocker knows kitchen karate.


Here's how this survey will work, and like I said, it's the c-word.

Your challenge: To the specs below, pick the full run of food you will eat in a day. Assume that things like salt, pepper, oil and vinegar are okay to add -- but nothing else.

Over the course of one day, you've been allotted the following:

MEATS GROUP: Two servings, so you can pick two different things, or two of the same thing. For those curious, that shit in the lower left is canned tuna.

BREADS GROUP: Four servings. The stuff that looks like eggs is rice. The spoonful of dirt is wheat germ. Like you're gonna pick that over Cheerios.

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES GROUP: Four servings. The leafy stuff is spinach.

MILK GROUP: Two servings. Stuff in the upper left is plain yogurt.

So, pick two meats, four breads, four fruits/veggies, and two milks. What an amazing survey!

In your responses, break it down by meals. I'll go first.

BREAKFAST: The two stupid eggs, because I was sold on the paprika, and an apple. (1 MEAT, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

LUNCH: The bowl of Cheerios, the two cubes of cheddar, and that plate of cute carrots. (1 BREAD, 1 MILK, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

DINNER: First, I will toast that giant piece of bread. Then I'll create some semblance of a meal by placing the burger on top of the bread, along with a slice of Swiss, and some of the spinach. I'll use the remaining spinach and another plate of carrots to make a salad. And all will be well. (1 BREAD, 1 MEAT, 1 MILK, 2 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

SNACKS: Without much leftover, I'll take the waffle and another bowl of Cheerios, and an extra apple. (2 BREAD, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

And there you have it.

Your turn, assuming you can make sense out of this. Try to justify your answers and give reasons, because a list of foods from 100 people could get a little daunting otherwise.

Maybe I should've reviewed the Amy Monkey Congo figure instead?

Posted by Matt on 08/03/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 232 comments

WTF, Matt? LOL This is way too much to think about on a Monday morning…yes you should’ve reviewed the next in line for the CONGO action figures! LOL

Chestnuts roasted by Melissa Y. @ 08/04/2008 12:50 PM


Its too bad there isn’t a bowl of Cocoa Puffs or Cinnamon Toast Crunch because then you could use the entire veggie/fruit selection at once to make it “part of a balanced breakfast.” Of course you can’t forget the obligatory tall glass of milk AND orange juice. I’m pretty sure a slice of toast is always included too. It always cracked me up how these companies tried to make people believe that eating a bowl of sugar could equate to being part of a healthy eating regimen. I can hardly eat just the bowl of cereal. I dunno if i could handle 10 lbs. of fruit, a glass of milk, a glass of OJ, two slabs of buttery toast, and whatever else they added to the buffet known as “one meal.” Too fuckin’ funny!

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 08/04/2008 12:53 PM


Ohh what fun!

Breakfast:Cherrios with milk, b/c gotta have it wet! Then an Apple (1 grain, 1 dairy, 1 fruit)

Lunch:Tuna sandwich,with yogurt and the half of the banana in it. Plain yogurt is nasty.(1 meat, 1 dairy, 1 fruit, 2 grain)

Dinner: Chicken leg, 2 servings of broccoli and a bowl of rice. (1 meat, 2 veggie, 1 grain)

This actually sounds like some real meals I would have, but a whole banana and much more dairy, I love me some dairy!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 08/04/2008 1:10 PM


Loved the sandwich survey, so I’m happy this one is here now. Yay!

Breakfast – Cheerios with milk and a sliced half banana (1 grain, 1 dairy, 1 fruit). I don’t like Cheerios very much and would rather have the waffle, but you can’t eat waffles without syrup.

Lunch – Hamburger between two slices of bread, with a slice of cheese. Broccoli and spinach salad on the side, with some oil and vinegar dressing. (1 meat, 2 grains, 1 dairy, 2 veggies)

Dinner – Fried chicken and rice. With an apple. Maybe this should’ve been my lunch instead. (1 meat, 1 grain, 1 fruit)

Sadly, I don’t have enough left over for a snack.

:(

Chestnuts roasted by curvy @ 08/04/2008 1:51 PM


Breakfast:Plain Yogurt(gonna pretend its vanilla) with some of that banana and wheat germ

Lunch:I am going to go with the two hotdogs the bread and cheese

dinner: The Tuna, Rice, and carrots.

snack: apple and cottage cheese

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 08/04/2008 2:48 PM


Matt are you all friggin Slim Goodbody now? geez…

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 08/04/2008 2:50 PM


Fishstick-stuffed hot dogs. ‘Nuff said.

Chestnuts roasted by AdamBomb1349 @ 08/04/2008 3:20 PM


I think Betty Crocker is trying to starve us.

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 08/04/2008 3:41 PM


My picks:

Breakfast: Nothing(I assume I’m allowed to omit this meal)

Lunch: Hamburger, Spinach, Swiss cheese, bread.

Snack: yogurt/waffle combo. Apple and melon.

Dinner: I’d make some sort of Tuna riceball, eggs, banana.

Snack round two: Apple and melon.Cheerios with a side of tasty wheat germ.

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 08/04/2008 3:52 PM


Well, given the choices, I think a day’s meal would look like this for me:
Breakfast- Cheerios, milk and banana
Lunch- Take a slice of bread, brush it with olive oil, cube it and toast to make croutons to put on a spinach, carrot and hard boiled egg salad. Oil and vinegar dressing.
Snack- waffle with yogurt
Dinner- chicken, rice and broccoli
And just for today, I would have to have a nice dessert consisting of a giant hunk of birthday cake! I’ve reached the tender age of 27 as of 7:08 this morning! :-D

Chestnuts roasted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 08/04/2008 3:54 PM


Happy B-Day DarkSideofBrightness!

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 08/04/2008 4:19 PM


HBHB~

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 08/04/2008 4:40 PM


It’s way too difficult for me to figure out that chart of yours, Matt. Can’t I just have it all on one big tray? I have a good excuse.

Also, thanks for everyone who gave me a ‘grats; the baby’s doing great. And happy birthday DarkSide!

Chestnuts roasted by Toffeecake @ 08/04/2008 4:46 PM


HBD, DSB!

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 08/04/2008 4:54 PM


Happy birthday darksideofbrightness(gotta ask, is that a Ruby Gloom reference kinda?)

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 08/04/2008 5:00 PM


Matt, I know you are into crypto-zoology. What washed up on your beach? Jeff Corwin thinks it’s a raccoon or a dog. The only thing I know for sure is that Megan Kelley is retarded. But I already knew that.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 08/04/2008 5:22 PM


oh, and Happy Birthday DSOB! I hope 27 is the best year yet!

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 08/04/2008 5:24 PM


So, like the breakfast seems nice, cereal, fruit, WAFFLES!!!111!!1

The dinner is a cheeseburger with some veggies. Classic, total classic.

The lunch was made with what I had leftover, requirementwise. No need for snacks, man.

inb4nextentry~

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 08/04/2008 7:14 PM


Ohhhh the horrors of being vegan! -_-;

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 08/04/2008 7:18 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DarkSideofBrightness!!!!!!! =D Hope ya have FUN!!! =D Iv’e been thinking about that Amy action figure ALL DAY! Matt , iv’e got Congo fever!

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/04/2008 7:58 PM


This survey is upsetting me.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 08/04/2008 8:13 PM


RevBIOU This survey’s not so bad once you think about it a little. =)

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/04/2008 8:28 PM


Just use “tl;dr” Rev.~

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 08/04/2008 8:44 PM


Let’s see…

BREAKFAST: A waffle (frozen, because I cannot make waffles without charbroiling them) with real maple syrup, sausages, and the slice of cantaloupe, all washed down with my favorite green tea.

LUNCH: Time for a smoothie made with bananas, yogurt, and wheat germ, and a slice of whole-wheat bread with light butter!

DINNER: That chicken leg will do nicely, perhaps with carrots over slightly wilted fresh spinach and rice, with a cup of milk (it does a body good, after all).

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/04/2008 8:55 PM


I’d just eat two good meals of hot dogs and waffles, then I’d trade all of my extra servings of fruit and dairy for brownie, you can do that right?

Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 08/04/2008 10:16 PM


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