X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment UGO
You are all doomed. Why not surrender? We might let you live.

08/03/2008: X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Worst Survey Ever.

Okay, remember the infamous sandwich survey from a while back? Well, here’s another — and it’s fifty times more convoluted. (I hate doing an aside so early, but I may have to ban myself from using the word “convoluted.” It seems to creep its way into every entry.)

From the exact same Betty Crocker cookbook from the 1600s, there’s a “special helps” section near the end of the book detailing what was — at the time — considered the proper types and amounts of food to eat from each of the four food groups. I don’t know how Betty made all these plates of raw spinach and fish sticks look so appetizing over a dulled yellow background, but by God, Crocker knows kitchen karate.


Here’s how this survey will work, and like I said, it’s the c-word.

Your challenge: To the specs below, pick the full run of food you will eat in a day. Assume that things like salt, pepper, oil and vinegar are okay to add — but nothing else.

Over the course of one day, you’ve been allotted the following:

MEATS GROUP: Two servings, so you can pick two different things, or two of the same thing. For those curious, that shit in the lower left is canned tuna.

BREADS GROUP: Four servings. The stuff that looks like eggs is rice. The spoonful of dirt is wheat germ. Like you’re gonna pick that over Cheerios.

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES GROUP: Four servings. The leafy stuff is spinach.

MILK GROUP: Two servings. Stuff in the upper left is plain yogurt.

So, pick two meats, four breads, four fruits/veggies, and two milks. What an amazing survey!

In your responses, break it down by meals. I’ll go first.

BREAKFAST: The two stupid eggs, because I was sold on the paprika, and an apple. (1 MEAT, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

LUNCH: The bowl of Cheerios, the two cubes of cheddar, and that plate of cute carrots. (1 BREAD, 1 MILK, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

DINNER: First, I will toast that giant piece of bread. Then I’ll create some semblance of a meal by placing the burger on top of the bread, along with a slice of Swiss, and some of the spinach. I’ll use the remaining spinach and another plate of carrots to make a salad. And all will be well. (1 BREAD, 1 MEAT, 1 MILK, 2 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

SNACKS: Without much leftover, I’ll take the waffle and another bowl of Cheerios, and an extra apple. (2 BREAD, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

And there you have it.

Your turn, assuming you can make sense out of this. Try to justify your answers and give reasons, because a list of foods from 100 people could get a little daunting otherwise.

Maybe I should’ve reviewed the Amy Monkey Congo figure instead?


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Bookmark and Share


Discussion Thread: 232 comments

WTF, Matt? LOL This is way too much to think about on a Monday morning…yes you should’ve reviewed the next in line for the CONGO action figures! LOL

Ghosted by Melissa Y. @ 08/04/2008 12:50 PM EDT


Its too bad there isn’t a bowl of Cocoa Puffs or Cinnamon Toast Crunch because then you could use the entire veggie/fruit selection at once to make it “part of a balanced breakfast.” Of course you can’t forget the obligatory tall glass of milk AND orange juice. I’m pretty sure a slice of toast is always included too. It always cracked me up how these companies tried to make people believe that eating a bowl of sugar could equate to being part of a healthy eating regimen. I can hardly eat just the bowl of cereal. I dunno if i could handle 10 lbs. of fruit, a glass of milk, a glass of OJ, two slabs of buttery toast, and whatever else they added to the buffet known as “one meal.” Too fuckin’ funny!

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 08/04/2008 12:53 PM EDT


Ohh what fun!

Breakfast:Cherrios with milk, b/c gotta have it wet! Then an Apple (1 grain, 1 dairy, 1 fruit)

Lunch:Tuna sandwich,with yogurt and the half of the banana in it. Plain yogurt is nasty.(1 meat, 1 dairy, 1 fruit, 2 grain)

Dinner: Chicken leg, 2 servings of broccoli and a bowl of rice. (1 meat, 2 veggie, 1 grain)

This actually sounds like some real meals I would have, but a whole banana and much more dairy, I love me some dairy!

Ghosted by IHAQ @ 08/04/2008 1:10 PM EDT


Loved the sandwich survey, so I’m happy this one is here now. Yay!

Breakfast – Cheerios with milk and a sliced half banana (1 grain, 1 dairy, 1 fruit). I don’t like Cheerios very much and would rather have the waffle, but you can’t eat waffles without syrup.

Lunch – Hamburger between two slices of bread, with a slice of cheese. Broccoli and spinach salad on the side, with some oil and vinegar dressing. (1 meat, 2 grains, 1 dairy, 2 veggies)

Dinner – Fried chicken and rice. With an apple. Maybe this should’ve been my lunch instead. (1 meat, 1 grain, 1 fruit)

Sadly, I don’t have enough left over for a snack.

:(

Ghosted by curvy @ 08/04/2008 1:51 PM EDT


Breakfast:Plain Yogurt(gonna pretend its vanilla) with some of that banana and wheat germ

Lunch:I am going to go with the two hotdogs the bread and cheese

dinner: The Tuna, Rice, and carrots.

snack: apple and cottage cheese

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 08/04/2008 2:48 PM EDT


Matt are you all friggin Slim Goodbody now? geez…

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 08/04/2008 2:50 PM EDT


Fishstick-stuffed hot dogs. ‘Nuff said.

Ghosted by AdamBomb1349 @ 08/04/2008 3:20 PM EDT


I think Betty Crocker is trying to starve us.

Ghosted by JoshC @ 08/04/2008 3:41 PM EDT


My picks:

Breakfast: Nothing(I assume I’m allowed to omit this meal)

Lunch: Hamburger, Spinach, Swiss cheese, bread.

Snack: yogurt/waffle combo. Apple and melon.

Dinner: I’d make some sort of Tuna riceball, eggs, banana.

Snack round two: Apple and melon.Cheerios with a side of tasty wheat germ.

Ghosted by JoshC @ 08/04/2008 3:52 PM EDT


Well, given the choices, I think a day’s meal would look like this for me:
Breakfast- Cheerios, milk and banana
Lunch- Take a slice of bread, brush it with olive oil, cube it and toast to make croutons to put on a spinach, carrot and hard boiled egg salad. Oil and vinegar dressing.
Snack- waffle with yogurt
Dinner- chicken, rice and broccoli
And just for today, I would have to have a nice dessert consisting of a giant hunk of birthday cake! I’ve reached the tender age of 27 as of 7:08 this morning! :-D

Ghosted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 08/04/2008 3:54 PM EDT


Happy B-Day DarkSideofBrightness!

Ghosted by Dan @ 08/04/2008 4:19 PM EDT


HBHB~

Ghosted by Neg @ 08/04/2008 4:40 PM EDT


It’s way too difficult for me to figure out that chart of yours, Matt. Can’t I just have it all on one big tray? I have a good excuse.

Also, thanks for everyone who gave me a ‘grats; the baby’s doing great. And happy birthday DarkSide!

Ghosted by Toffeecake @ 08/04/2008 4:46 PM EDT


HBD, DSB!

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 08/04/2008 4:54 PM EDT


Happy birthday darksideofbrightness(gotta ask, is that a Ruby Gloom reference kinda?)

Ghosted by JoshC @ 08/04/2008 5:00 PM EDT


Matt, I know you are into crypto-zoology. What washed up on your beach? Jeff Corwin thinks it’s a raccoon or a dog. The only thing I know for sure is that Megan Kelley is retarded. But I already knew that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnYy93n69JY

Ghosted by Bill @ 08/04/2008 5:22 PM EDT


oh, and Happy Birthday DSOB! I hope 27 is the best year yet!

Ghosted by Bill @ 08/04/2008 5:24 PM EDT


So, like the breakfast seems nice, cereal, fruit, WAFFLES!!!111!!1

The dinner is a cheeseburger with some veggies. Classic, total classic.

The lunch was made with what I had leftover, requirementwise. No need for snacks, man.

inb4nextentry~

Ghosted by Neg @ 08/04/2008 7:14 PM EDT


Ohhhh the horrors of being vegan! -_-;

Ghosted by Ryane @ 08/04/2008 7:18 PM EDT


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DarkSideofBrightness!!!!!!! =D Hope ya have FUN!!! =D Iv’e been thinking about that Amy action figure ALL DAY! Matt , iv’e got Congo fever!

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/04/2008 7:58 PM EDT


This survey is upsetting me.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 08/04/2008 8:13 PM EDT


RevBIOU This survey’s not so bad once you think about it a little. =)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/04/2008 8:28 PM EDT


Just use “tl;dr” Rev.~

Ghosted by Neg @ 08/04/2008 8:44 PM EDT


Let’s see…

BREAKFAST: A waffle (frozen, because I cannot make waffles without charbroiling them) with real maple syrup, sausages, and the slice of cantaloupe, all washed down with my favorite green tea.

LUNCH: Time for a smoothie made with bananas, yogurt, and wheat germ, and a slice of whole-wheat bread with light butter!

DINNER: That chicken leg will do nicely, perhaps with carrots over slightly wilted fresh spinach and rice, with a cup of milk (it does a body good, after all).

Ghosted by starwenn @ 08/04/2008 8:55 PM EDT


I’d just eat two good meals of hot dogs and waffles, then I’d trade all of my extra servings of fruit and dairy for brownie, you can do that right?

Ghosted by Fox @ 08/04/2008 10:16 PM EDT


It wasn’t that it was too long – I read the whole thing.

It was just that everything looks so…sterile. And dry. Like, even if I like spinach, which I do, I wouldn’t want to eat that plate of squeaky clean spinach. Where’s the garlic & oil?

That plate of cute carrots makes me want to put my head in the oven.

That stuff needs to be obliterated. Let us start over with some eggplant parmagiana.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 08/04/2008 10:21 PM EDT


Man, I started doing this, and realized with my finicky appetite and the limited choices, I was pretty much screwed. So here’s what I would eat:

Breakfast: Double helpings of waffles. I love waffles. They are awesome. I have this family recipe from my Grandmother for Yeast waffles, and I am the king of them. Especially with Maple Syrup.

Lunch: Fried Chicken, and Broccoli. I don’t like many vegetables but Broccoli’s ok for some reason. Let’s just say triple helpings of that, actually.

Dinner: Shit, what’s left? Not much…Gotta go for those devilled eggs, but how the hell are they classified as “meat?” I guess I’ll top that off with some bread, the swiss cheese, and the cubes of cheese.

Snacks: What the hell, none of these things are snacks. I guess I might eat the cheerios as snacks.

So yeah, there’s my terrible answers. All in all, I’m still pretty hungry after that. I’m going to have to give Mrs. Crocker a piece of my mind….

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 08/04/2008 10:31 PM EDT


I think an amy monkey action figure review would calm the feelings of unrest over this survey.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/04/2008 10:37 PM EDT


I tried to get other people do it, and they wouldn’t, man ;;

Ghosted by Neg @ 08/04/2008 10:39 PM EDT


Bring on the Amy monkey review!

Ghosted by Rob @ 08/04/2008 10:40 PM EDT


Breakfast: Amy monkey review

Lunch: Amy Monkey review

Dinner: Lobster Thermidor with Champange.

Ghosted by Razzy the Cat @ 08/04/2008 10:53 PM EDT


Pretty sure I’m going to back the Amy monkey review mob that’s started in this thread…..

Me, I think I’m going to look away from the Betty Crocker book and order from Fox’s Pizza instead – a good Ham and Cheese wedge is about a 1000 times more appetizing than almost anything else pictured above.

Ghosted by jjwspider @ 08/04/2008 11:16 PM EDT


–>> .. canned Tuna looks like Fancy Feast ..

** meow

Ghosted by tOkKa @ 08/04/2008 11:50 PM EDT


So much peace could be created, if only the amy monkey figure would be reviewed.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/05/2008 12:21 AM EDT


Okay, I pick 2 plates of fish sticks, three bowls of Cheerios (oh GOD I love Cheerios!), a plate of rice, broccoli, cantaloupe, spinach, a banana half (even though I could really go for a whole one, ya know? I like bananas!), cottage cheese and plain yogurt eaten throughout the day because I can’t be bothered to eat an actual meal. Oh, and no seasoning. My British blood shines through!

Ghosted by Trisha @ 08/05/2008 1:56 AM EDT


Breakfast: Gotta go with the cheerios and the waf, plus the obvious milk

Lunch: I could do the tuna plus the bread for a sandwich combo, deviled eggs, cantaloupe, and banana

Dinner: Turkey leg, steamed carrots, rice, and you can add cheese to anything, so toss that on too.

Well, now I’m hungry.

Ghosted by midship @ 08/05/2008 2:19 AM EDT


I totally read your name as Mudkip!

Sleep well, Matt. We all love you so..

Ghosted by Neg @ 08/05/2008 2:45 AM EDT


(this post has been sitting here since about 10 this morning, I just didn’t complete it and push post lol I thought I would just leave the beginning as it is)

I am going to try to do my best to give my answers to this survey to make our little buddy Matt feel better about himself and his accomplishments.

Bill I was going to tease you about the broccoli but you were one step ahead of me! You are a cleva boy Billy, a cleva boy indeed!

Breakfast: I would have the piece of bread buttered with the deviled eggs sliced up on top. This survey made me crave that and so about 45 minutes I made two slices of buttered bread with sliced up boiled eggs on top! We have a toaster that has a thing on the side that you can make up to 4 boiled eggs in or one pouched egg at a time. I think it’s because my tastes are maturing but it seems like I want wheat everything. Wheat bread, wheat pasta, wheat bagels, whole wheat cereal etc. Even though I used white bread earlier because we don’t have any wheat bread.

You just put the water in on the bottom and the clear cover on top and push the egg button. It cooks until the water is evaporated. Don’t ask me how it knows, but it knows. Also if you are making toast it keeps the bread in the slot warm for you until the egg is ready. It’s pretty cool, and the part that you put an egg in if you want a pouched egg looks like a frying pan that you could give to your barbie so that is so very cute.

Also I am picking for my fruit/veggie a sliced up apple.
(1 MEAT 1 BREAD 1 VEGGIE)

Lunch:
Bratwurst (they look like bratwurst more then hot dogs to me) sliced up carrots w/ some butter on top please 2 slices of bread for the bratwurst

(1 MEAT 2 BREAD 1 VEGGIE)

Dinner:
Ok, I would take the spinach and put it spread out on a plate, and put cottage cheese on top. My best friend and I sometimes eat lettuce w/ pineapple and cottage cheese on top.
(1 VEGGIE 1 DIARY)

Snack:
This is the most normal IMO of the meals because out of all the weird meals in this hypothetical day I need one normal one. Me? Normal? NEVER! But this one time give me some slack :)

Cheerios with milk in a bowl like cereal is usually eaten with a banana sliced up in the cheerios. Yep I like it that way as a treat. I can’t believe it still, Andy Rooney on 60 minutes last Sunday complained about honey nut cheerios saying he doesn’t like Cheerios to have honey in it. Cheerios is awful plain it tastes like cardboard!

Anyway…

(1 BREAD 1 DIARY 1 VEGGIE)

Seriously if I had to make a conscious effort to stay healthy like this everyday I would fucking kill myself. This was awful! :( Planning what I have to buy for groceries for a week’s worth of meals is awful enough but portion control!?!? The madness!!

Ghosted by Goob @ 08/05/2008 3:05 AM EDT


Man, Andy Rooney is a cantankerous old curmudgeon.

BRING IT, ANDY!

Ghosted by Neg can so take Andy Rooney @ 08/05/2008 3:31 AM EDT


Sometimes I see Andy Rooney in the city. Next time I see him, the gauntlet will be thrown down.

Also, someone I know once farted and it got blamed on Andy Rooney who was sitting nearby. I can’t tell this story without damaging someone’s reputation, but it is a very funny story.

Praise Andy Rooney!

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 08/05/2008 10:58 AM EDT


Rev BIOU you pretty much gotta tell it now! You can’t leave us hanging like this!;)

Ghosted by Dan @ 08/05/2008 11:50 AM EDT


Happy birthday, DarkSideofBrightness!

Ghosted by Teddy Ray @ 08/05/2008 12:42 PM EDT


Thanks for all the birthday wishes! I think I got more of them here on the internet than I did “in real life.” Interesting…
JoshC I acutally had my handle before I knew Ruby Gloom existed (and possibly before it was created). The story behind it is full of dumb teenage angst and it kind of stupid, so I may adopt the Ruby Gloom-inspired view. I do have quite a few pieces of Ruby Gloom clothing, so it will be believeable. ;-)

Ghosted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 08/05/2008 1:02 PM EDT


I usually don’t participate in comments or surveys, but no one has ever shown any interest in what I digest. So, without further adieu:

Breakfast: Cheerios and milk because blandness is all I can tolerate in the a.m.

Lunch: the bread topped with tuna and swiss because those are my some of my favourite foods and to have them TOGETHER! Oh my…nirvana. I’d also eat the apple and banana, BUT, it would be the whole banana. What’s with the dissected banana? Who eats half a banana? Let alone go through the trouble of cutting in half? The fun part is in peeling the fruit. What happens to the other half? Honestly, Ms. Crocker is a bit wasteful.

Dinner: The chicken (the rest, other than the tuna, look awful. The weiners seem, um, kind of rude). All the vegetables because of the beta carotene, Vitamin A, C and K content. Melon and cottage cheese for dessert because I love my cheese.

Snack: cubes of cheddar because of the aforementioned cheese-love. Also, the devil eggs
for no other reason than eggs and mayonnaise. A winning combination.

Re: Buttermilk. Does anyone really drink that?

Ghosted by CanCon @ 08/05/2008 5:24 PM EDT


You know, lookin at those pictures, I gotta say, there’s NO WAY I would be able to fill myself up on the portions presented! TWO CUBES of cheese? are you kiddin me?

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/05/2008 5:55 PM EDT


I’ll bet you could fill up on two cheese cubes. Just take a five-pound block of cheddar and cut it in half! LOL :)

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 08/05/2008 6:10 PM EDT


Hoverbored:Well yeah, I guess I could get full if both cubes were the size of bricks!lol.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 08/05/2008 6:25 PM EDT


Hey all, Terror Claws checkin’ in. Just seeing if everyone knows I’m alive. Should be home soon from the Giant Air Organization. basically I just stick my head in to read Bill, Mystie and Ultraman’s posts.

And to see if Kingklash is alive. If ya are brother, I’m in Oklahoma soon! woot!

Ghosted by Terror Claws @ 08/05/2008 8:02 PM EDT


BREAKFAST: bowl of Cheerios with milk and a banana.

LUNCH: the burger with Swiss cheese and rice

DINNER: chicken with broccoli and a slice of bread

SNACKS: canteloupe, waffle, apple

I could seriously live off of that, too. I suppose we’re washing this down with water? I’d switch up the vegetables for dinner, too.

Ghosted by Jeremy Whatsisface @ 08/05/2008 8:41 PM EDT


Breakfast: Milk with Cheerios and a waffle

Lunch: Apple and cantalope

Dinner: Burger with bread, swiss cheese, and lettuce with a side of carrots

Snack: Deviled eggs

Ghosted by Jack @ 08/05/2008 8:51 PM EDT


Add A New Comment!