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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Worst Survey Ever.

Okay, remember the infamous sandwich survey from a while back? Well, here's another -- and it's fifty times more convoluted. (I hate doing an aside so early, but I may have to ban myself from using the word "convoluted." It seems to creep its way into every entry.)

From the exact same Betty Crocker cookbook from the 1600s, there's a "special helps" section near the end of the book detailing what was -- at the time -- considered the proper types and amounts of food to eat from each of the four food groups. I don't know how Betty made all these plates of raw spinach and fish sticks look so appetizing over a dulled yellow background, but by God, Crocker knows kitchen karate.


Here's how this survey will work, and like I said, it's the c-word.

Your challenge: To the specs below, pick the full run of food you will eat in a day. Assume that things like salt, pepper, oil and vinegar are okay to add -- but nothing else.

Over the course of one day, you've been allotted the following:

MEATS GROUP: Two servings, so you can pick two different things, or two of the same thing. For those curious, that shit in the lower left is canned tuna.

BREADS GROUP: Four servings. The stuff that looks like eggs is rice. The spoonful of dirt is wheat germ. Like you're gonna pick that over Cheerios.

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES GROUP: Four servings. The leafy stuff is spinach.

MILK GROUP: Two servings. Stuff in the upper left is plain yogurt.

So, pick two meats, four breads, four fruits/veggies, and two milks. What an amazing survey!

In your responses, break it down by meals. I'll go first.

BREAKFAST: The two stupid eggs, because I was sold on the paprika, and an apple. (1 MEAT, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

LUNCH: The bowl of Cheerios, the two cubes of cheddar, and that plate of cute carrots. (1 BREAD, 1 MILK, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

DINNER: First, I will toast that giant piece of bread. Then I'll create some semblance of a meal by placing the burger on top of the bread, along with a slice of Swiss, and some of the spinach. I'll use the remaining spinach and another plate of carrots to make a salad. And all will be well. (1 BREAD, 1 MEAT, 1 MILK, 2 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

SNACKS: Without much leftover, I'll take the waffle and another bowl of Cheerios, and an extra apple. (2 BREAD, 1 FRUIT/VEGGIE.)

And there you have it.

Your turn, assuming you can make sense out of this. Try to justify your answers and give reasons, because a list of foods from 100 people could get a little daunting otherwise.

Maybe I should've reviewed the Amy Monkey Congo figure instead?

Posted by Matt on 08/03/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 232 comments

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Damn….I’ll miss ya Isaac RIP

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 08/10/2008 6:14 PM


I also was not aware that the PS3 had games :O

Seriously, I wish like hell we hadn’t spent the money on that thing, but my man wanted it really bad, so oh well. At least it’s a better DVD player than the PS2 is. XD

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 08/10/2008 6:29 PM


Not Isaac! The Duke of NY is still A-Number One! :(

Reading Fark made a point dawn on me…both men were in “Soul Men” with Samuel L. Jackson.

SAM, JUST HIDE IN A DAMN BUNKER!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/10/2008 7:21 PM


They killed Chef! You bastards!

Chestnuts roasted by The Real Andrew @ 08/10/2008 9:32 PM


Invader Norbert do you have a Fark account? If so, what’s your handle?

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 08/11/2008 1:07 PM


Wow, I make that comment about Scientologists, then Hayes (who was one) dies…why, oh why couldn’t my power have killed Tom Cruise?

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 08/11/2008 1:09 PM


Dude…
I am so late this year in reading your tiny adventures…
I am full on obsessed with Betty Crocker’s red cookbook with the “pie cover”.
I have multiple copies.

Chestnuts roasted by Lauren Part Deux @ 10/31/2008 4:10 PM


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