Just a few random things, as I’m too tired to take pictures but not too tired to write. It’s all lies in what position my arms need to be in, see.
1) I tried the “six Saltines with no water in under a minute” trick tonight…AND FAILED. Honestly, I probably could’ve done it, but by cracker #3, the risk/reward ratio started leaning the wrong way and I decided that eating six crackers in less than a minute wasn’t really something I’d be able to hang my hat on, anyway.
2) I finally got around to watching Lake Placid 2. John Schneider is 2 for 2. As was the case with Shark Swarm, I found the movie entertainingly bad enough to sit through, but not to the level necessary for me to recommend it. The first Lake Placid was an anomaly: No movie about a giant crocodile invading Maine had any right to be that good. Lightning did not strike twice, but they kind of made up for it with the inclusion of seventeen million extra giant crocodiles, all CG rendered in terrible fashion. During some of the attack scenes, victims were missing limbs that the gators absolutely did not bite off.
Still, there’s a definite sense that the people who made the movie actually set out to make a bad movie. Some of the stuff was just too over the top for that not to be the case, and these suspicions were confirmed by a special feature on the DVD which replays the entire movie, but automatically fast forwards past any scene that doesn’t feature naked women or someone getting attacked by a crocodile. Clever.
Also of note is Cloris Leachman in Betty White’s role from the first film. (Well, she plays Betty’s character’s sister here.) If you don’t recall, Cloris was the actress thrown in the unenviable position of Mrs. Garrett’s replacement on The Facts of Life. That didn’t turn out so well, as the only suitable replacement for Mrs. Garrett is a biologically engineered clone of Mrs. Garrett. Still, it was nice to see ol’ Cloris again, especially in a movie where she feeds people to crocodiles.
3) You guys have really been rocking it on the recent surveys. Better cut that out before I start thinking that it’s okay to pose random questions and call it an entry.
4) I really need to knock it off with the “three hours of sleep per night” thing. It’s out of control, and I spend most of my awake time feeling like I’m sharing a brain and body with someone who is much stupider than I hope I am. The latest trend: Someone asks me a simple question, my brain comes up with two similar answers with different wording, and my mouth translates those answers as one mutated, slurry monster. At work today, someone fairly high up asked me how I was doing. She learned that I was doing “algood,” which apparently is somewhere between “all right” and “good.”
5) I’m considering giving the cracker trick another go.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
I read the thread title and went OMG! WTF!?!?
And then I read the entry.
You are cruel Matt…Cruel….
(But we love you anyway)