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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Why So Cerealous?


Thank you, Cinnamon Toast Crunch. After my horrible failure with Reese's Puffs, I've finally procured my very own Joker cereal toy. It's the version that karate chops, which isn't as life-changing as the version that karate kicks, but beggars can't be choosers. And though I stand by my initial comment that Mr. Joker looks a tad too much like that demon boy from the end of Pet Semetary, I concede that any toy that looks that way is a fairly interesting artifact to yank out of a children's cereal box.

Now, I have questions for YOU.

1) East coast folks: I really want to go back to Wildwood, but it's been a while and I'm wondering what the current "climate" is like. Not in the weather sense. I know they tore down many of my beloved hotels, but has the boardwalk changed much? My brain's been pretty mucky this week, and I need to reset it by browsing 99 cent stores and looking at the sad remnants of the Golden Nugget.

2) Everyone: Okay, I'm determined to find out what this is. At some point long ago, Good Humor came out with "Vampire's Secret" bars, which as I understand it were a type of popsicle with "blood" cherry goo inside. Can anyone confirm or tell me more about these things? Were they ice cream truck fare or sold by the box in supermarkets? (I assume the former, because I can't imagine anything that macabre next to a Flintstones Push-Pop.) I'm desperate to learn more.

3) Everyone: This morning, on the latest episode of the very aptly titled Good Morning America, they conducted this huge experiment to prove that people cannot eat six saltine crackers in under a minute without the aid of some type of drink. I take great issue with this, and I'm absolutely sure that I can eat six crackers in sixty seconds without the aid of liquids. Is it just me, or does this seem like a totally doable albeit mostly unpleasant thing to accomplish?

4) Everyone With A Wii: Owning a Wii (lol sounded dirty rofl) but being way, way outside gamer culture, I'm very curious to know which are considered the best characters to use in Brawl. I'm a Pikachu loyalist, but I'm starting to see the merits of Ikedom and maybe even Marthdom. I really want to see the merits of Pokemon Trainerdom, but they've yet to become clear. According to general consensus and not just errant opinions, which are considered the best and worst characters? I MUST KNOW. This is so important.

5) Would you rather get eaten by a shark, a squid, or a killer whale?

Posted by Matt on 07/29/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 152 comments

Matt,
I am actually renting a condo for a week with 10 of my friends in Wildwood and we leave on Friday. I will give you a full report when I return, but I go every year and I must say that the magic and charm is as strong as ever.
Draculas Castle may be long gone, and the Golden Nugget is long closed (still standing though) but I promise its still awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Boner Jams 03' @ 07/30/2008 7:23 AM

I would prefer to be swallowed by a Giant Whale, then I can just live in it’s belly. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by DC @ 07/30/2008 8:08 AM

I can’t believe you are asking this question. It has long been a dream of mine to be eaten and loved to death by a giant squid. I base a large part of my personal philosophy around it.

So, squid.

I have never been to Wildwood, but all my cousins used to go when we were kids. These were the runny nose cousins, the Randy Quaid branch of the family in a Griswold sense, if you know what I mean. So I’ve always associated Wildwood with the idea of a really shitty, dusty, mosquito bitten, Randy Quaid kind of experience.

Chestnuts roasted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 07/30/2008 8:45 AM

It really does look like Gage….no fair, no fair.

1)It’s pretty sad to know that despite only living 30 minutes from the woods, I haven’t been there in a couple years. However, friends of mine were there recently and basically said that the boardwalk is filled with a bunch of punks looking for a fight. It’s not as glorious as my memory remembers…castle dracula anyone?

2)I purchased a box of these vampire pops from BJ’s about 6 years ago (i think)If memory serves my right, it was a grape popsicle with some type of red goo inside. I have a hard time remembering because we kept the pops in the garage freezer and the breaker liked to randomly trip which resulted in a grotesque mix of vampires and blood in individually wrapped packages

3)I tried this one time with a bunch of friends at a local diner. We drew all the focus of the surrounding patrons and waitresses. If we were able to get all 6 down we would be awarded with a free desert. Sadly we failed, but we did get a free soda to help wash our embarrassment away.

4)Sorry I only have Melee for GC

5)Shark, only if he promises to really eat me I don’t want to get rushed to the hospital with a big bite taken out of me.

Chestnuts roasted by Rugenstat @ 07/30/2008 9:07 AM

I was just in Wildwood, and its pretty much the same with the exception that everything is really expensive now (games are at least $3 a piece it seems). There also seems to be less games, but the arcades remain the same. Rides also seem similar, though I like Morey’s has a new coaster (its either them or Mariners). The hot thing this year seems to be crappy black t-shirts that look splattered with colored paint. I can’t believe people buy and wear them, and I can’t believe even more that it seems to be the only thing shops are selling. Polish Water Ice is still delicious, as are the Curly Fries.

I do own a Wii and have become quite partial to the Pokemon Trainer. To be more specific, Squirtle. Charizard is okay and Ivysaur is useless, but Squirtle can kick some serious ass. Plus, you get three Pokemon in one, you can’t beat that.

Chestnuts roasted by Alchemist5 @ 07/30/2008 9:16 AM

Alchemist5

Those shirts are 80′s retro, and I think are appropriate for this site. And you have to admit, “Girls Gone Wildwood” is pretty clever and hilarious.
Clevarious?

Chestnuts roasted by Boner Jame 03' @ 07/30/2008 9:21 AM

Alexander,
As far as the beach tags go, I’m pretty sure that it’s the towns choice. When I lived in Brigantine, NJ we were always offered to buy tags for cheap because we were residents, but when we moved 2 towns over (Absecon)we had to pay tourist rates (aka the Shoobie Tax) despite living in the same county.

Chestnuts roasted by Rugenstat @ 07/30/2008 9:23 AM

Axel Rod,

I’ve been to Mountain Creek a couple of years ago, and although they do have the track still there for the alpine slide, you can’t go down it anymore. I guess it was too “dangerous”! They still have a lot of the same rides from the Action Park days and some newer ones as well.

Chestnuts roasted by perun99 @ 07/30/2008 9:27 AM

Ganadorf is probably the most powerful character in the game. But if I had to choose 3 of the best characters to choose I would pick the following.

ROB (The Robot)
Link
Snake

Chestnuts roasted by Brent @ 07/30/2008 9:37 AM

Matt,

Wildwood is still awesome and totally worth the trip. Granted, a lot of the motel destruction is a bummer, and the Golden Nugget is sitting as a shell- but there have been just as many GOOD changes. The Morey’s are doing a bang-up job… great rides still- classics like the Zoom Phloom and Dante’s have been updated and are great… and new rides like Atmosfear and the Ocean Oasis (alcohol in the water park!) are awesome too.
The boardwalk is pretty much the same it’s always been- cheasy t-shirts, redemption arcades, annoying barkers, “watch the tram car”, and Mack’s pizza. Den of lost theives is an indoor mini golf course now, but Zombie World has upped the ante. And check out Flipper’s Fascination for one of the most bizzare experiences you could ever imagine. Just got back from there last week, and I think the place looked surprisingly great.

If you want my advice- stay at one of the “retro” motels… the best hands-down is the Caribbean- straight out of the 50′s, and it even has Doo-Wop music pumped into the room. The Starlux and the Shalimar are cool in a neo-doo wop kind of way.

I really don’t think you’ll be dissapointed.

Chestnuts roasted by BelmarBenny @ 07/30/2008 9:41 AM

Matt,

Wildwood is still awesome and totally worth the trip. Granted, a lot of the motel destruction is a bummer, and the Golden Nugget is sitting as a shell- but there have been just as many GOOD changes. The Morey’s are doing a bang-up job… great rides still- classics like the Zoom Phloom and Dante’s have been updated and are great… and new rides like Atmosfear and the Ocean Oasis (alcohol in the water park!) are awesome too.
The boardwalk is pretty much the same it’s always been- cheasy t-shirts, redemption arcades, annoying barkers, “watch the tram car”, and Mack’s pizza. Den of lost theives is an indoor mini golf course now, but Zombie World has upped the ante. And check out Flipper’s Fascination for one of the most bizzare experiences you could ever imagine. Just got back from there last week, and I think the place looked surprisingly great.

If you want my advice- stay at one of the “retro” motels… the best hands-down is the Caribbean- straight out of the 50′s, and it even has Doo-Wop music pumped into the room. The Starlux and the Shalimar are cool in a neo-doo wop kind of way.

I really don’t think you’ll be dissapointed.

Chestnuts roasted by BelmarBenny @ 07/30/2008 9:54 AM

1) I would imagine Wild Wood would be more or less a cluster F. I was in Sea Isle for a weekend a few weeks ago visiting my aunt and I couldn’t move my rental car for fear of losing the coveted parking spot and have to park in Stone Harbor. Wild Wood always seemed about 30% more crowded so I wouldn’t be surprised if it would be anything less than a stick in the eye.

2)I remember those but i like ‘Monster Pops’ more. I wish they made a lime Creature Of The Black Lagoon.

3)I have no doubt you can do this, Matt. But can you whistle after?

4)I am without Wii. (that never sounds good)

5)I would go with a shark. Being killed by calamari or Shamu is tough to take seriously.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 07/30/2008 10:13 AM

I just use Pikachu, I’ve been using him since the N64 days and I’m too good to chose anyone else. For other characters I like Pit though.

As for death, squid or killer whale seem like something more interesting to get killed by.

Chestnuts roasted by sdp @ 07/30/2008 10:32 AM

I hear Lucario is considered very good in Brawl, and he is my second most-used character. He has good moves and he has a great recovery.

I’d rather the squid, shark, and killer whale have an epic fight and kill each other off.

Chestnuts roasted by Cat @ 07/30/2008 10:35 AM

I’m going to try this cracker thing right now! I haven’t read the other posts I am sure many others have tried and know the result already.

I want to be eaten by a Whale. I can’t help but think I would be carried down into the belly still alive and ready to live my life inside of a whale. Of course when he sneezes I will shoot out of the blow hold and land safely to shore!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 07/30/2008 10:56 AM

went to Wildwood about 3 years ago .Being from Maryland id have to say it was better than Ocean City but not as nice as Rehoboth in DE. There werent many 99 cent stores the last time i was there lots of 5 dollar stores on the board walk , of course we werent on the Board walk too long when we went the wind was whipping so bad it looked like Tatooine durring a hurricane ..not to mention it was well over 100 degrees that whole week even with the wind.

As far as hotels go i didnt pay much attention we stayed about 30 minutes away from the beach , seeing how i was driving my fat idiots freinds set the reservations not carring about the milage i get in my truck , nor how much it coast to fill it even back then

Chestnuts roasted by Starscream77 @ 07/30/2008 11:04 AM

Midship: I’m not sure it’s totally the salt that makes the saltine thing hard to do. Wouldn’t you also have to apply the same principle for chips, pretzels, non-saltine crackers, and other salty foods? Saltines I find are the only food that goes out of it’s way to dry my mouth.

I’m upset because Benningans filed for bankruptcy yesterday and are closing many restaurants. I hope ours is safe. We go there all the time for birthdays and we all order the same thing: the monte cristos. It’s the only place I know that has them and it’s the best sandwich ever invented. If I was trapped on a desert island with only one food, that would be what I take. :(

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/30/2008 11:50 AM

Matt, I obsess about all things Halloween and food related. I have amassed an obnoxious number of those novelty, Halloween party cookbooks that litter the checkout lane once a year. Suggest to me that I can make a cupcake ooze blood and I go into complete mad scientist mode. Now, I must have the Vampire’s Secret. But it looks like I’ve got to go to Deutschland to make it happen. Langnese is the German version of Good Humor and Vampire’s Secret is called Kolorki Vampire. Does this look like what you remember? http://www.langnese.de/site/lang__de/alias__de/1143/index.aspx And here’s a pic of the wrapper, I think. http://picnic.ciao.com/de/4050196.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by velouria_78 @ 07/30/2008 12:00 PM

My record with the crackers is 5. No joke, that shit is damn near impossible.
On to Brawly bits: I used to be a Pikachu loyalist myself, especially back in the old N64 days. However, once I got my hands on Melee, I made it my personal goal to master Ness. I did so, and since then have only been beaten by my friend and his Falco cheaterface douche-baggery. When I got my Wii (what a day that was…le sigh), I discovered the glory of Lucas, the only character from the entire game that I’ll never play the original game of (Mother 3). He became my pet project and, with the aid of my Ness skills, I have dubbed him the greatest character of all time.
Except for Mr. Game-and-Watch…

Chestnuts roasted by Burley @ 07/30/2008 12:01 PM

3) I’m sure it can be done. It just sounds disgusting.

4) As people have said, personal preference. Case in point: on our game, the Favorite Character, Smash Champ, and KO Kingpin are all…Peach. I also like Toon Link, ROB, Captain Falcon, and Mr. Game and Watch.

5) Killer whale, I suppose, would be the quickest. Plus my death would serve as a cautionary tale for any kids out there who might still think of Free Willy as cute and cuddly.

Chestnuts roasted by Kaga @ 07/30/2008 12:08 PM

jjwspider:

I’m an Xbox 360 guy too. What games you playing? Currently, I’m flip-flopping between COD4, GTA IV, and Uno.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 07/30/2008 12:19 PM

Matt, you have rustled up long-sleeping memories of blood-filled popsicles. I used to love them so, and now my heart aches anew. As I remember them, they were blacker than your average grape in color and the cherry “blood” was remarkably tepid as opposed to being ice cold. They were sold in supermarkets, but any ice-cream truck driver who knew how his trade kept the vampops stocked.

I would rather be eaten by a squid, because I have a fear fascination with the mighty squid and so such a death would give my biographers a lot to work with.

Also, “Vampire’s Secret” is a pretty mind-bending name for a publicly sold good. Raises more questions than it answers.

Chestnuts roasted by tim @ 07/30/2008 12:19 PM

I am going to try the Saltine thing tonight. I have always been curious about the “You can’t drink a gallon of milk in under an hour” rumor as well. I have known people who have tried it and failed, but after seeing them spit up all over themselves I have never had an inkling to try it myself. I really doubt I could do it, but somehow I think somebody like Kobayashi could do it with ease.

Chestnuts roasted by Jack @ 07/30/2008 12:23 PM

MATT, MATT, MATT, MATT, MATT, MATT, MATT, MATT!!!!

1.) It’s so funny that you ask about Wildwood, as my friends and I have a house on third and the bay in the northern end. I’ve been up on the boards a handful of times this summer and it’s definitely different than you imagine. The last time I was there before this summer was in 2000, summer after senior year, taking acid and watching the sun go down behind our beloved Dracula’s Castle (boy am I happy I got to experience something as awesome as the walk-through section two geltabs into a trip.) If you go up there now-a-days, the arcades are offically “casinos” were most video games have been replaced with ticket dispensers. EVERY crane game is filled with small iPods. iPods and Nintendo Wii are the big theme this year for prizes that you can win in almost any game. Sure there are still cheap, plushy, knock off, stuffed animals here and there, but the times they are a changin’. Also, it seems that there are alot of kids with kids, if you know what I mean. You will still have your .99 cent stores to peruse and plenty of “pick a shirt and decal” stores, but a lot more fake handbags and other knock-off accesories as well, specifically in the Boardwalk Mall. The fall of that castle has definitely brought about a sad state of affairs from what I remembered from my childhood and adolescent years. As far as the town goes, there’s still a number of doo-wop hotels, but they are dwindling. A lot of rebuilding has gone on and sections of the town look completely different. Take the trip though, I promise it will be worth you while, maybe even win yourself something good.
2.) No help.

3.) It just can’t happen, Jesus would even struggle with it and he’s made of crackers.

4.) Pikachu is the man because he can summon lightning wherever he stands. I like flying guys like Meta-Kinght and Kirby. Snake is good, try Captain Falcon and Link as ground fighters. Meta-Knight is my homeboy though.

5.) Killer whale, squids would take the smallest bites and therefore take the longest to kill you, and sharks are so varied in size and shape, you weren’t specific enough to judge. Killer whales are like sea pandas, oh so cute until they take your arm off and feed it to their babies.

Chestnuts roasted by Venk Man @ 07/30/2008 12:25 PM

i gotta find some cereal with a joker in it!

and definitely whale- itd be so huge and such an “experience”- not to be missed!

Chestnuts roasted by cb @ 07/30/2008 12:25 PM

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