X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment UGO
X-Entertainment is still feeling pretty bad about those lobsters.

« X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Nada. [Main Index] X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Dr. Pepper. »

07/29/2008: X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Why So Cerealous?


Thank you, Cinnamon Toast Crunch. After my horrible failure with Reese’s Puffs, I’ve finally procured my very own Joker cereal toy. It’s the version that karate chops, which isn’t as life-changing as the version that karate kicks, but beggars can’t be choosers. And though I stand by my initial comment that Mr. Joker looks a tad too much like that demon boy from the end of Pet Semetary, I concede that any toy that looks that way is a fairly interesting artifact to yank out of a children’s cereal box.

Now, I have questions for YOU.

1) East coast folks: I really want to go back to Wildwood, but it’s been a while and I’m wondering what the current “climate” is like. Not in the weather sense. I know they tore down many of my beloved hotels, but has the boardwalk changed much? My brain’s been pretty mucky this week, and I need to reset it by browsing 99 cent stores and looking at the sad remnants of the Golden Nugget.

2) Everyone: Okay, I’m determined to find out what this is. At some point long ago, Good Humor came out with “Vampire’s Secret” bars, which as I understand it were a type of popsicle with “blood” cherry goo inside. Can anyone confirm or tell me more about these things? Were they ice cream truck fare or sold by the box in supermarkets? (I assume the former, because I can’t imagine anything that macabre next to a Flintstones Push-Pop.) I’m desperate to learn more.

3) Everyone: This morning, on the latest episode of the very aptly titled Good Morning America, they conducted this huge experiment to prove that people cannot eat six saltine crackers in under a minute without the aid of some type of drink. I take great issue with this, and I’m absolutely sure that I can eat six crackers in sixty seconds without the aid of liquids. Is it just me, or does this seem like a totally doable albeit mostly unpleasant thing to accomplish?

4) Everyone With A Wii: Owning a Wii (lol sounded dirty rofl) but being way, way outside gamer culture, I’m very curious to know which are considered the best characters to use in Brawl. I’m a Pikachu loyalist, but I’m starting to see the merits of Ikedom and maybe even Marthdom. I really want to see the merits of Pokemon Trainerdom, but they’ve yet to become clear. According to general consensus and not just errant opinions, which are considered the best and worst characters? I MUST KNOW. This is so important.

5) Would you rather get eaten by a shark, a squid, or a killer whale?


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Bookmark and Share


Discussion Thread: 152 comments

Congrats on your Joker Matt! I’m sorry to say I don’t remember these popsicles but they sound pretty cool! And it seems to me like I could do the 6 crackers thing, I guess I’ll have to give it a shot. And I’d have to say eaten by a shark because hopefully that would be the fastest.

Ghosted by Dan @ 07/29/2008 10:59 PM EDT

First, yayyyy!!! I’d rather get eaten by an OCTOSQUID! Yeah, I’m obsessed.

Ghosted by The Real Andrew @ 07/29/2008 10:59 PM EDT

Aw damn, so I was actually second. Close though.

Ghosted by The Real Andrew @ 07/29/2008 11:00 PM EDT

Six saltines in a minute? Doesn’t sound too hard.

As for Brawl, it varies widely. The best players I’ve seen usually use Diddy Kong and Samus. Others tend to rotate characters, choosing a new one each time. It depends on your playing style. Long story short, King Dedede stinks.

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 07/29/2008 11:03 PM EDT

I’m calling BS on the cracker thing.

Aaand, I’m no help with Brawl, never been a big fan. I have been getting my butt handed to me on Mario Kart lately though.

Ps – I saw Bob Dole this weekend whilst strolling the Mall in D.C. Weird.

Ghosted by Tommy Day @ 07/29/2008 11:03 PM EDT

In regards to Brawl, pretty much anyone with a sword is considered master of cheapness, if you can master the sword. Master sword, lol.

And a squid, i would like to see a huge squid up close.

Ghosted by LooeyQ @ 07/29/2008 11:06 PM EDT

Shark. Quick, easy, sure it would be painful, but the sheer alien terror of the squid grabbing me… Eep. I’m personally holding out for piranhas.

Ghosted by hcs @ 07/29/2008 11:06 PM EDT

Hey Matt… can u say hi to me, lolz!

Ghosted by LooeyQ @ 07/29/2008 11:07 PM EDT

1) Wildwood seems to have lost a lot of the luster it once had (I was there maybe 3 weeks ago) Not much except the regular shops on the boardwalk much like seaside.

2) the Blood pops I remember eating but can’t for the life of me remember if I got them from Ice cream trucks or the store.

And congrats on the Joker.

Ghosted by Caine @ 07/29/2008 11:09 PM EDT

I thought the cracker thing would be easy, turns out not so, for me anyways. Damn near choked to death near the end.
No idea with brawl, bought it but haven’t played it more then 5 times, can’t get into it. I would think Link would be top shelf, ’cause he’s Link.
Killer Whale, because I don’t think that’s happened, and I could be like Pinocchio if it didn’t chew me.

Ghosted by Tterb @ 07/29/2008 11:09 PM EDT

Best Brawlers:Donkey Kong, Lucario ,Pokemon Trainer Worst Brawlers:Pit, Gannondorf , King DEDEDE and you’ll never beat me when I play as Link

Ghosted by T.J. @ 07/29/2008 11:10 PM EDT

Yay for the Joker! I have a feeling I’m going to have to try this cracker thing, it sounds easy. And I think I’d rather be eaten by a whale…I think you could live a couple of days inside of one and you might see some interesting things inside of it.

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 07/29/2008 11:13 PM EDT

1) I’m East Coast, but I’ve Never been to Wildwood. I’d like to go, too.

3) My CVS co-workers have tried this before, and it can’t be done.

4) Brawl: My favorite is the long-range fighter. So, Falco can get pretty damn awesome/annoying depending on which end you fight him on. I also love Meta-Knight, but, as they said, his sword kicks ass. And he multi-jumps and glides.

5) If a Dugong ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about.

6) When will the jukebox be up?

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 07/29/2008 11:13 PM EDT

The blood pops always came from the grocery store for me in Atlanta. Usually in a black box with a visage of Dracula.

It’s all about Marth, Pit, Link, Mario, Captain Falcon, or Metaknight in Brawl for me. I rather like R.O.B and Mr. Game N Watch too, but they are pretty much just novelty.

Joker’s karate chop seems more like an angry slamming his fist down action.

Ghosted by Rob @ 07/29/2008 11:14 PM EDT

Oh , and I can put six saltines in my mouth at once. Can you stack em, or is that against the rules?

Ghosted by T.J. @ 07/29/2008 11:14 PM EDT

I never buy saltines, though I remember your feat of breaking one in two. I think I could do it though, and I may have to try.

I choose squid. I figure, I may have a chance to get away. Though I don’t know why.

Ghosted by kb @ 07/29/2008 11:14 PM EDT

matt i dont know if this is any help but i have had something close to the vampire pops a while back. I found them at my local grocery store they had lime cherry grape and blue rasperry all in a pack sorta like flavor ices with a liquid center. It has only been like 3 or 4 years since so they may still be around.

Btw i finally got to see The Dark Knight and although Heath Ledgers Joker was amazing it isnt oscar worthy but Arron Eckhardts Harvey Dent is another story he was great and should win one. The only reason that Heath Ledger would get an oscar for The Joker is cause his untimely death rest his soul good but not oscar worthy.

Take care and i hope I helped with the vampires blood pops.

One last thing if you can is there anyway to do a megaparty blog on burples i cant find anything on the net about them and i remember loving them when i was little if you could that would make my summer megaparty.

Ghosted by joker9866 @ 07/29/2008 11:15 PM EDT

Matt, go to http://www.mrboardwalk.net for all your Wildwood fun-fare. The guy that runs the site works in Dante’s Inferno. His site offers history, current events and message board.

Ghosted by CMac @ 07/29/2008 11:17 PM EDT

I think I’d rather be eaten by a killer whale, getting eaten by a squid has that whole slow death factor.
Getting eaten by a shark is sort of redundant these days, no real appeal there,
But a killer whale, who gets eaten by killer whales?
Thats a classy way to go in my eyes.

Ghosted by JoshC @ 07/29/2008 11:18 PM EDT

NJ shore towns such as Wildwood and Seaside Heights are awful now. I too used to be enamored and infatuated with these two places but even the nostalgia factor can’t overcome the seediness now (and not the “good” kind of seediness). I would go to LBI, Manasquan, or Atlantic City.

Ghosted by Clockwork @ 07/29/2008 11:19 PM EDT

Wanna trade with me? I got the kicking Joker, I wanted the chopping one.

Ghosted by Elmo Machete @ 07/29/2008 11:26 PM EDT

As for the saltine challenge, searching google, “six saltines in” minute, it seems it can be done by many people. Maybe it’s supposed to be 10 in 60 seconds as I’ve heard.

Ghosted by Anonymous @ 07/29/2008 11:27 PM EDT

Cmac: I’ve been to that site, it’s great. There’s also a YouTube video somewhere of the Wildwood boardwalk in 1986, which is such a mindfuck because I don’t remember it being so…bare? Not that it was bare, but when I think of that place when I was a kid, I picture some magical happy land which apparently never existed.

Think I’ll still go back to WW despite the downgrades. I haven’t been there for a casual vacation in over 10 years — it’s always been with a group of friends and we were always constantly drunk and rowdy. I kinda just want to go there and have a simpler weekend. Little things like pulling back up to the hotels in the Crest at night and seeing them all quiet and lit up. No matter how shitty WW gets, that’ll still be around.

Not seeing many votes for Ike on Brawl, which surprises me. Maybe it’s just that he’s the key to killing Pikachu.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/29/2008 11:28 PM EDT

This is the first year of my life I haven’t been to Wildwood. I live a 10-minute drive from fucking Disney World and here I am, disappointed about missing a year in Wildwood. I was there as recent as last July, and I can tell you this: It’s still good ol’ Wildwoodl. The smells are the same smells, the beach is still the same beach, the sounds are still the same sounds — well, most of them — and of course, the Fudgie Wudgie man is still the same Fudgie Wudgie man.

Ghosted by M.Fireball @ 07/29/2008 11:29 PM EDT

I’d rather be eaten by a Killer Whale because, to the best of my knowledge, I would be the specie’s first human victim. I need my 15 minutes of fame damn-it!

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 07/29/2008 11:31 PM EDT

Hey Mike! :) Good to hear from you, hope the big lifestyle change is working out. Very envious of your current ability to dine at Ohama on any given Friday night, so I’ll be sure to rub it in your face when I pound a twenty-year-old rubber frog into a big plastic flower and win a one-eyed monkey.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/29/2008 11:31 PM EDT

5) Shark. Although you didn’t specify what kind of shark. I’d be perfectly content to let a tiny baby shark of some harmless variety chomp down on my arm. I feel fairly confident that I could kill it before it could kill me….

Although, if death is a necessity, let’s go with Megaladon. Or however it’s spelled.

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 07/29/2008 11:33 PM EDT

Also: Killer whale, but only if it swallows me whole and I can live inside it like Jonah/Pinocchio/Link.

Ghosted by M.Fireball @ 07/29/2008 11:33 PM EDT

Oh, and I’d go with the killer whale too, for sure. I’d liken that to being slayed by a gigantic dog. Being torn apart by a shark would be terrible, but since a squid would kill you in six or seven ways simultaneously, that’s the one I’d want to avoid.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/29/2008 11:33 PM EDT

I actually saw that cracker experiment. It’s one of those things that sounds really easy, but is actually really difficult. I also saw the first episode of that Food Detectives show they were promoting. It’s a good concept (think Food Mythbusters) but it came off so hammy that it’s actually painful to watch. Plus, I get the feeling alot of these myths have already been done on Mythbusters. If they could just tone down with the acting, it would be more watchable.

I would pick shark because I watched the recent Shark Week episode of Mythbusters and you could MAYBE survive if you punch them in the eye.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 07/29/2008 11:33 PM EDT

That is true; I did love pulling up to the warm, yellow glow of some mom and pop motel at 2 o’clock in the morning.

Ghosted by Clockwork @ 07/29/2008 11:33 PM EDT

question 1: boardwalk is basically the same, although with an extra added dose of gangster kids…or at least while I was there. The ferris wheel and cool collectible toy store is still there, and really, thats what counts

question 2:Couldnt tell you on a bet

Question 3: I used to work at burger king, and they gave those saltine crackers out with the poor excuse for chili(which i loved regardless of what may or may not have been expired beef as main ingrediant) And seriously, you’ll end up coming close to choking if you try to eat 6 of them bad boys.

Question 4: Ive owned hard with kirby

lastly, for 5: I’de go with squid, because i imagine it would hug me with its tentacles before killing me, and that speaks for character.

Ghosted by precursor @ 07/29/2008 11:34 PM EDT

I managed 4 in a minute.

Ghosted by Neg @ 07/29/2008 11:35 PM EDT

1).I live in Florida so Im not sure how the weather is there.

2).Don’t recall.

3).I can probably do it.

4).Best:Mario,Luigi,Metah Knight,Pikachu, R.O.B.,Sonic,I lost track.

5).Killer whale. The irony is that Im going to Sea World this week.

Ghosted by Andre @ 07/29/2008 11:35 PM EDT

2) The cracker trick is one that I use on my students when we have a day off. Normally, it’s practically impossible to do, and it leaves a mess of disgusting saltine spittles. Six would be doable albeit painful – but my students can do eight.

Ghosted by Katrina @ 07/29/2008 11:39 PM EDT

Vampire’s Secret! Oh man.

The ice cream truck that visited my (Upstate New York) street growing up sold those things. I don’t remember ever seeing them in a store.

As I recall they were black or deep purple on the outside, blood red on the in (like you said).

I think they were a dollar each. Nowhere near as good as the Choco Taco, but way cheaper. Which is important if your budget is pocket change.

Ghosted by Steve @ 07/29/2008 11:54 PM EDT

squid. squid for sure.

Ghosted by Nizz @ 07/29/2008 11:56 PM EDT

I can’t answer any of your other questions but I can say with certainty: Killer Whale. not specifically because I think it would be less painful, but because the idea of it is far more rediculous and beautiful. Sharks and squids are too cold. Whale’s have personalities, and a killer whale is the strongest, fastest and liveliest of the three. It’s just far more abrupt and epic and violent. A shark would take pieces in quick jabs. A squid would pull me in and wouldn’t finish eating until like 2 hours after i had drowned. I don’t want a death that is just glorified drowning. A killer whale death is the aquatic equivalent of being eaten by a Tyrannosaur. Fast violent, epic, and done in under 5 bites.

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/29/2008 11:57 PM EDT

Spent a week in Wildwood last summer. Same old good stuff for the most part, plenty of junk shops, crane machines, the aquarium. Last year there was a stupid little Haunted Mansion style ride, wonder if its still there…

Ghosted by Brian @ 07/30/2008 12:01 AM EDT

I find Mr. Game and Watch to be pretty effective. Lucas is also awesome (i’m not much for nes, but lucas carrie many a battle in the single adventures)

Ghosted by Bookaish @ 07/30/2008 12:01 AM EDT

I’ve heard killer whales have been known to toss dolphins around before eating them, like cats with mice. Fricking sadists.

And I’ve heard that squid actually shoot out their tentacles like rockets, seize their prey, and start biting pretty quick. So I don’t know if a giant squid death would necessarily be slow and painful.

How about being eaten by a giant anglerfish?

Ghosted by The Real Andrew @ 07/30/2008 12:04 AM EDT

To answer question four, the answer is Captain Falcon.

Has Matt ever posted his friend code, ever?

Ghosted by TRUKK NOT MUNKY @ 07/30/2008 12:11 AM EDT

You definitely can’t eat (that means swallowing) 6 saltine crackers in a minute without water. The salt is the trick, it “absorbs” water…and saliva for that matter. It eventually feels like trying to swallow sand.

Even harder to do, and funnier to watch someone else try is downing a spoonful of cinnamon. Same effect but they’ll usually cough it out in a big reddish puff.

Ghosted by midship @ 07/30/2008 12:15 AM EDT

man, i’m still haunted by vampire secret pops. i got one from a good humor truck when i was a kid (i remember marking out for the vampire on the wrapper). it was dark purple on the outside and looked like a basic rocket pop i think with red inside. i bit directly into it and got that intense shiver in my body you get when you sink your teeth into an ice pop. that was probably 14 years ago, but i STILL get the same exact shiver when i think about it. has anyone else ever experienced that phenomenon?

Ghosted by murman @ 07/30/2008 12:28 AM EDT

1) Never been, but I’m going to Waldameer in a few weeks….

2) Don’t believe I ever saw these, but I bet my wife would love them. Speaking of vampires, have you seen the ads for HBO’s new vampire show? The few I’ve seen talk about granting vampire rights or removing them from society. Here is the one site: http://www.americanvampireleague.com/index.html
Remember – Vampires were people too.

4) No Wii, but I’ve got the Xbox 360 that seriously needs some love on this site…. Just sayin.

5)Killer whale – cheap travel and plenty of room to lounge.

Ghosted by jjwspider @ 07/30/2008 12:29 AM EDT

What if you salivate to the point of drooling? Perhaps with enough saliva you’d be able to eat 6 crackers in a minute? It would be like making your own drink! I don’t think that is cheating?

Ghosted by milkmanjon @ 07/30/2008 12:31 AM EDT

I went to Wildwood for the first time in 2005 when I tried to find the former location of Castle Dracula after reading the article about it on here. Wildwood impressed the hell out of me, since I’d never seen anything like it in my poor little landlocked southern home state.

Being there was like stepping into a TV show from the 70s or 80s. It seemed surreal – almost too good to be true. I went again in 2006, but haven’t been back since. The boardwalk “climate” did seem more downtrodden than AC’s, but that was part of what I loved about it. I can’t wait to go back sometime.

I also looked for the world’s worst arcade while I was in AC on that same trip, but stupid me somehow got it into my head that it was a Days Inn when it was actually a Quality Inn.

I know you east coasters take those towns for granted, but trust me, you’re lucky. Around my neck of the woods all we’ve got is Branson and its 872 live country music stage shows.

Ghosted by Simon @ 07/30/2008 12:36 AM EDT

Matt,why would you consider using anyone BUT Pikachu? You’re insanely good as him. Sure,the constant lighting bolt is sort of a cheap win,but a victory is a victory in my book.

Ghosted by Kid Nicky @ 07/30/2008 12:36 AM EDT

@milkman

It doesn’t matter how much you store up. You’ll still run out of moisture before getting to number 4 or so. The crackers themselves help with the absorption, and the time limit keeps you from waiting for more saliva to build.

Ghosted by midship @ 07/30/2008 12:38 AM EDT

Two things, one: Pikachu always kicking ass is amusing, so keep doing it.

two: Squids may start biting fast, but their beaks are very small compared to sharks and killer whales, so it’s more like it’s gnawing on you than taking large swift chunks, or in the killer whale’s case, 1/3 to 1/2 of you at a time.

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/30/2008 12:43 AM EDT

Add A New Comment!


This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 29th, 2008 at 10:54 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.