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07/24/2008: X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Zzzzzz.


I haven’t been sleeping well, lately. Not for any good (or bad) reason — I’ve just found it preferable to do all the things I really need to do when nobody else on this side of the planet is awake. It was totally fine to live like that years ago, since anything in-between unemployment and self-employment doesn’t really call for 9-5′ing. Now? Not so much.

I try to convince myself that three or four hours of sleep will suffice, and sometimes it does. But I guess there’s a cumulative effect to this sort of thing, as I headed into work today needing to read eight scripts to clients with a certain level of zeal and eloquence, and it finally hit me that I was really fucking tired. Well past the point of having bloodshot, glassy eyes, I was literally stumbling on my walk from the bus stop to the office, very unable to navigate the sea of people doing whatever it is people do in Times Square.

When I got into the office, I noticed a peculiar side effect of sleep deprivation: It makes me talk like the filthiest, most exaggeratingly stereotypical truck driver ever. Was a series of audible “fucks” warranted by a faulty stapler? Probably not. I mean, sure, I had to staple a lot of papers together to prepare for this meeting, but I work in a fairly large building that had many other staplers available. In an industry that swells with pressure, it probably isn’t a good idea to mark myself as the type of person who can lose their shit over a faulty stapler.

While somewhat slurry in general, I managed to keep it together for the twenty minutes that I needed to keep it together, and quietly ducked out afterwards. I’ve mentioned the long, long commute I have many times before, but today I was actually looking forward to it. There isn’t much else to do on a long bus ride besides sleep. I settled in, cranked up the iPod, and as soon as the real world started blending with the dream world, a gigantic man sat almost literally on top of me, and spent the next 90 minutes guffawing into his phone with such incredible vigor that I’m still wondering if one of my enemies hired him to keep me from sleeping.

Yeah, this is pretty much my way of telling you that I’m too tired to write anything of substance tonight. As penance, I offer the embarrassing confession that I eat lemons much in the same way other people eat apples.

We now transform this into a random chat thread, only I guess it won’t be so random since I’m going to give you a theme for discussion: Things that scared the shit out of you as a child, or maybe even now.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 189 comments

Man, you sound like me with sleep. I try to get by on a few hours, but it never works. I think I fell asleep talking to someone about a project we are working on :(

Now, when I was a child, Killer Clowns from Outer Space pretty much was devastating. I know its a real goofy movie, but not to a 4 or 5 year old. I don’t even really like clowns to this day. That particular episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark was also creepy, now that I think about it.

Ghosted by Alchemist4 @ 07/25/2008 10:05 AM EDT


The illustrations in those Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark books. Frankly, they still give me the shivers when I look at them, even at the ripe old age of 25.

Ghosted by Cheetara @ 07/25/2008 10:16 AM EDT


I have a few from when I was little.

I had recurring nightmares of these three monsters that lived in our house. They were very bizzare “monsters” though. One was a box like face that would appear on my headboard and try to eat my hands. The other two were very human looking. One lived under my sister’s bed,, the other came out of the toilet and had a lasso with wich to pull me in with. I would flush the toilet and run out of the bathroom very fast every time.

Another thing that freaked me out was at this arcade I frequented. It was a pinball machine in the back with this very goulish face on it. I would not walk past the halfway point of the longroom for fear of seeing it.

Also, the biggest one for me: BALOONS. They scared the hell out of me, even as a baby. I think I didn’t want them to pop and I knew they always did. I still don’t like baloons to this day.

Ghosted by Brian Langlois @ 07/25/2008 10:24 AM EDT


My wife was deathly afraid of fire. She told me that when she was young if she heard a siren, (any siren) she thought the house was on fire. She also use to wake up at night and see weird shadows and think it was fire.

Took me years, yes years, to get her not so deathly afraid of fire. It took me weeks to get her to hold a Bic lighter, months not to drop it when she spun the wheel. (there were no sparks at this time) I gradually got her to be able to use one, but she still doesn’t like it.
The best, where she works had training to use a fire extinguisher. Small trash can fire, she almost failed it, and used two fire extinguishers…She wouldn’t get close enough.

Ghosted by Wenthral @ 07/25/2008 10:30 AM EDT


I don’t really have any fears that have stuck with me, except cockroaches. I can’t even get close enough to them to kill them.

But this one time… when I was reading Stephen King’s IT, my friend thought it would be hilarious to let a bunch of balloons go in front of my window (I’m on the 2nd floor). I nearly crapped myself that night. It was funny for everyone else though…

Ghosted by cait @ 07/25/2008 10:31 AM EDT


1) The scene where E.T. and Elliott scare each other the first time they meet…I’ve mentioned this one before.

2) The scene in the “Thriller” video where Michael Jackson transforms into a werewolf…loved the song, liked the video, shit my pants at that one scene.

3) Warped records…I know, I’m a weirdo. We had one in particular that was of the song “Mickey” by Toni Basil. As a result, I was afraid of that song, too. Playing that song full blast was like torture to the 4-year-old version of myself. I would scream until someone turned it off or it ended.

4) After I first watched “The Shining” as a child, I was afraid of my dad. Not that he beat me or anything, but this didn’t truly end until he stopped drinking.

5) In an effort to get me to stop sleeping in their bed when I was little, my folks told me that there were people who watched over houses and would take away little kids who slept with their parents. To this day, I can’t shake the slight feeling that I’m being watched as I lay in bed.

Ghosted by Jeremy Whatsisface @ 07/25/2008 10:34 AM EDT


OT: Toy name HELP!

Can anyone help me w/ the name of this toy…

Mid 80’s…goofy looking characters standing approx 4 inches high that had a rubber “ball head” that was interchangable w/ other bodies. Every ball head/character was a different color. I remember a blue cop mostly. I had the whole set and then they disappeared. Sticky fingered neighbor kids probably!

Thanks for your help. If any folk can suggest a name, I know you can!

Ghosted by JillS @ 07/25/2008 10:37 AM EDT


Matt, my dentist told me years back that eating lemons will destroy your tooth enamel; sorry to be a pawtee poopah.

As a very young child, I had a paralyzing fear of rabbits. (For this very reason, the scene early in “E.T.” with the rabbit was mortifying.) Every time I saw one, I was convinced I would have a bad dream that night … and most of the time I did. So obviously I was terrified of nightmares in general, as well. Not sure what kind of psychological problems I was dealing with there…

Also have a fear of ventriloquist dummies.

Ghosted by Commander Awesome @ 07/25/2008 10:43 AM EDT


JillS, I can’t recall the name, but for some reason, I remember Matt reviewing those toys (or something VERY similar) on the site not too long ago. I think it was in an older blog entry.

Commander Awesome, for some reason, I had the opposite reaction to ventriloquist dummies. Ever since the scene in “Zapped!” where Scott Baio uses telekinesis to make his dummy chase his mom around the house, I thought they were freakin’ awesome. I WANTED them to come to life!

Ghosted by Jeremy Whatsisface @ 07/25/2008 10:52 AM EDT


Ooh, you know what else was scary? The Emergency Broadcast System.

Ghosted by Hey I'm Jeff @ 07/25/2008 11:02 AM EDT


Jeremy Whatisface –

I guess my frustration lies with not having a phrase or name to Google or Ebay. I’d like to have some of ‘dem “ball heads” back.

I still haven’t recovered from my mother tossing out my millions of those jelly-like bracelets that were so popular to layer on until your arm disappeared. ha We have a store here in NE Ohio called Marc’s and I remember them being, like, 20 for a dollar.

Ghosted by JillS @ 07/25/2008 11:06 AM EDT


Aliens.

Ghosted by meepy @ 07/25/2008 11:06 AM EDT


And that frickin thing from the Exorcist you have posted with the entry.

Ghosted by meepy @ 07/25/2008 11:07 AM EDT


Jeremy Whatsisface:
I just had chills run up my spine from you describing that scene. I KNEW there was a reason I preferred “Zapped Again!”

Ghosted by Commander Awesome @ 07/25/2008 11:09 AM EDT


Childhood Fears:
Zelda from Pet Sematary. When the alien peeks past the wall in Communion. I was certain the ceramic raggedy andy on my bedroom wall was going to disembowel me if I ever fell asleep. And the scooby-doo 45 record with the story about the abominable snowman. Good-old-fashioned nightmare fuel.

Ghosted by Lucky Lighter @ 07/25/2008 11:13 AM EDT


Also, Freddy Krueger scared the living hell out of me as a kid. I had recurring nightmares about him off and on throughout my entire childhood.

Ghosted by Cheetara @ 07/25/2008 11:19 AM EDT


As a kid, my bedroom had the entrance to the attic, which unsettled me to no end. I used to stay up nights, staring at the door to the attic, just convinced that something hideous from the depths of Hell would come lumbering through the door to devour me. During daylight hours, the attic didn’t disturbe me at all. Heck, I used to play up there. But something changed when the sun went down, and the attic suddenly became a place of unspoken horrors.

Ghosted by tanta07 @ 07/25/2008 11:39 AM EDT


For some reason, my parents told me when I was younger that if I took a bath/shower with the lights off, I would get sucked down the drain. It worked for the longest time.

The Tales from the Darkside theme is kinda freaky.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 07/25/2008 11:49 AM EDT


Rev. Back It On Up, we have similar fears. The veins, but for me it’s really the ones at the soft places: wrist, throat, behind the knee, ankles.
And also the Cheshire Cat. When I was a kid I used to have this recurring dream where the cat just sits there and looks at me then starts smiling all slow and creepy like.

Ghosted by velouria_78 @ 07/25/2008 11:55 AM EDT


Hey JillS, I think you are talking about NERFULS! There are a few auctions on Ebay, just type in Nerfuls. And there is a blue “Officer Bob” figure. I was looking for these a few months ago, I rememered having a yellow head guy in a red wagon named Frankie. Hope this helps!

Ghosted by seel @ 07/25/2008 12:09 PM EDT


Things that scared the heck of me as a kid…

When I was VERY young (probably about two or three), Ronald McDonald on the McDonald’s advertisement scared me. I’m not one of those people who are necessarily scared of clown faces, but something about ol’ Ronald freaked me up good. I seem to recall he was in a big hedge maze where the hedges kept moving position. I screamed the house down and left the room until well after the 30-odd second commercial had gone.

A couple more that probably only fellow Brits will get:

Also, at about four or five, I was scared of K-9 in ‘Doctor Who’! Not the Daleks, not the Cybermen or any other terrifying adversary, I never stuck around long enough for them, but *K-9*! I don’t know why, but he terrified me.

Also, when I was a little older (around eleven or so), the episode ‘The Rest of My Life’ of the excellent late 1980s / early 1990s Children’s ITV series ‘Press Gang’. Where Spike is caught under the rubble of a building that has blown up in a gas explosion, and spends his time talking to an unseen girl who is buried deeper and hurt badly, and who quietly dies at the end. The episode haunted me for years. Later I got a video copy of it, and more recently on DVD, and it’s still excellent.
In fact, I’d recommend any fan of vintage UK teen shows to give ‘Press Gang’ a look.

Ghosted by Jay Firestorm @ 07/25/2008 12:20 PM EDT


Everything as a kid scared me. Mostly just being in a dark room.

I still hate the dark.

Ghosted by James @ 07/25/2008 12:26 PM EDT


When I was only a few years old, my mother took me to the circus. A bloody clown snuck up behind me, and grabbed me. He Fucking Grabbed Me! Right around the body, lifting me into the air. Like he has the fucking right to fuck with a kid, y’know?
Ever since then, the site of clowns gives me vertigo and panic attacks.
Also, pennies. They bother me. I don’t like them. I’m also afraid of my apartment’s balcony. I hate it up there.

Ghosted by Burley @ 07/25/2008 12:26 PM EDT


Maybe if you ate apples the way you eat lemons the way other people eat apples, you would feel more energized? (Apples have a natural form of caffeine-like stuff that will help you wake up ^_^)
Been enjoying the summer posts very much, hang in there!

Ghosted by Sparrow-chan @ 07/25/2008 12:40 PM EDT


Shit that scared me as a child:

Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video.

Twisted Sister (especially guitarist Jay Jay French).

The original “Dawn of the Dead” VHS with “Zombie Roger” on the cover. Every time I went to the video store, I averted my eyes from this movie. It’s ironic because now I LOVE zombie movies, “Dawn of the Dead” in particular. Posters cover my gameroom walls. I even met “Roger” at a horror convention in Pittsburgh last fall and he autographed the VHS box and apologized for scaring the bejesus out of me.

Zombies: they might not have brains, but they’ve got a lot of heart!

Ghosted by undeadhead @ 07/25/2008 12:40 PM EDT


Poltergeist. That movie scared the shit out of me as a child. Now it’s one of my favorites.

I didn’t sleep well during most of my childhood. Used to have weird nightmares. One of the earliest ones I can remember is going to Walmart with my dad and then he turned into a big, black, hairy monster. In another one, I dreamed I was in bed and then it started to fly and got sucked into this white light. That freaked me out a lot.

And yes, the EBS. I would get so scared when it came on, thinking that the Russians were going to blow us all to hell and stuff like that. Another fear sort of related to this one is technical difficulties on TV that result in dead air or one of those creepy still images. That one still gets me today.

However much the EBS scared me as a kid, I’d take that one over the current EAS. I hate that fucking thing. It comes when you’re not expecting it, it’s not preceded by a voice telling you everything is okay, it just jumps out at you with its weird-ass noises. Sometimes it has a voice after the tone that sounds vaguely robotic and staticy. Brrrrrrr.

Also, Bill, that doll is creeeeeepy.

Ghosted by Annette @ 07/25/2008 12:40 PM EDT


Oh yeah, I forgot one of my biggest fears as a child: moths. I hated those things (still do). I remember having a nightmare in which they were trying to eat my hair. Anytime a moth got in the house, I would completely flip out. Other flying insects scare me too, especially the ones that don’t fly all the time. You never know when they’re going to take flight and land on your face or some shit.

Ghosted by Annette @ 07/25/2008 12:50 PM EDT


Any kind of bug. Yes, ANY kind of bug/insect – I don’t care what it is.

Also, Micheal Keaton’s Batman always scared the fuck outta me.

Ghosted by Ryane @ 07/25/2008 1:15 PM EDT


Annette: Yeah, when I stay at the Grandparents I sleep on a cot in the guest bedroom. Years ago my Dad moved the doll into that room while I was asleep and put it right next to my head. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and when I came back I found it standing right at the head of the cot where my head was. I flipped out. That was one of those times when nightmares come to life and you wonder how you would react. I probably sounded like a deaf guy being electrocuted. It wasn’t a typical shriek of a 10 year old.

Ghosted by Bill @ 07/25/2008 1:16 PM EDT


I eat apples like most people eat lemons.

nikki, I was scared of The Hulk too. Now, not so much.

random bob, I think anything from Mom and Dad Save the World would scare the hell out of me. That was the worst. movie. ever.

Vincent Prince’s monologue from Thriller freaked me out quite a bit.

Ghosted by Teddy Ray @ 07/25/2008 1:39 PM EDT


Hey everyone! Long time fan of the site, first time posting…

As a kid I was afraid of tarantulas after watching this Disney movie called “Something Wicked This Way Comes.” It’s about an evil carnival and there’s a scene where a ceiling cracks open and tarantulas start swarming into this kids room.

Ghosted by Sprocket @ 07/25/2008 1:46 PM EDT


Top 10 Fears Rational/Irrational…

1) Needles or anything that might puncture me.

2) The clown from Poltergeist.

3) Someone breaking into my house.

4) Old school china dolls, especially the ones of baby faces. My sister had one that had 3 different faces on it so you could turn the head to see smiling, crying or sleeping. Creepy.

5) The Shining (movie). I still can’t watch that one alone unless it is daylight out.

6) Sharks in the swimming pool.

7) Being sucked down the bathtub drain as a child.

8) Spiders. I can handle snakes or anything else you throw at me but a spider over the size of a pinhead means all bets are off!

9) Stuffed animals that had open access to me at night. I used to have to lock them up in the toy box and put things on it at night. I think this also came from watching Poltergeist. I could have been her (Heather O’Rourke) twin as a child, seriously, I have pictures and that creeped me out enough to think they might come after me too.

10) Drawing on myself with a pen. I was convinced that I would get indian ink poisoning. Not sure why it was “indian ink” but that is what I called it. You can thank my parents and teachers for convincing me of this one. Even as an adult I can’t stand to write on myself and I am not that fond of hand stamps either.

Side note…my husband has a funny fear of Sock Monkey’s. I used to buy them and hide them for him to find. Aren’t I the best wife ever! :c)

Matt – our cocker spaniel Cinder used to eat lemons from the tree all the time. She would jump up to pick one, carry it around in her mouth all day like a ball and end her evening by peeling it and eating the lemon. She left her peels in a neat little pile for us to clean up. She was thoughtful like that. When we would prune the tree she would freak out and grab every lemon and toy she could find and barricade herself in my parents closet for days afterwards. It was funny and sad at the same time. When she died we buried her ashes in an urn under the lemon tree.

My husband, daughter and I are also big lemon eaters. No need to add anything to them. They really are natures perfect treat!

Ghosted by Cricket @ 07/25/2008 1:46 PM EDT


cricket,

You and I share two major fears – needles and sharks in the swimming pool. That makes us soul mates. How do you feel about the Mad Hatter. This is critical.

Ghosted by Big Boss Rev. Back It On Up @ 07/25/2008 1:51 PM EDT


I thought of yet ANOTHER one–in the movie Roger Rabbit at the end when the bad guy gets, I think, steam rolled and his eyes pop out–it freaked me OUT!

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 07/25/2008 1:53 PM EDT


Cricket: I was the opposite about drawing/writing on myself. It used to drive my mother up the wall when I would come home from school with doodles all over my hands. I also used to write myself notes on my hands. The way I figured it, I could lose a piece of paper with a note written on it, thus defeating the purpose of writing it in the first place- but I couldn’t lose my hand:)

Ghosted by Cheetara @ 07/25/2008 1:53 PM EDT


gingela: Chris Lloyd in Roger Rabbit didn’t scare me, but he definitely devastated me by killing the cartoon shoe. I can’t believe I’ve never written about that, so thanks for the reminder. Tribute to dead cartoon shoe pending.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/25/2008 1:55 PM EDT


Yesss! Nerfuls!!! Thank you. You guys rock BIG time!!

Ghosted by JillS @ 07/25/2008 1:58 PM EDT


Greetings Sprocket, I’m pretty new here myself. That being said, Something Wicked This Way Comes is a great movie, almost as good as the book.

Ghosted by Lottie of Millhaven @ 07/25/2008 2:00 PM EDT


Matt, yes! That poor damn shoe … I really hated the Roger Rabbit flick just for that one scene. Still don’t think I could watch it. The shoe just wanted to be loved!

Ghosted by Commander Awesome @ 07/25/2008 2:03 PM EDT


undeadhead – I first saw the original (ie. far superior) ‘Dawn of the Dead’ late on night when I was about 17. It was on around midnight, the first time it had ever been on TV in the UK, and I just happened to flick onto it. By that age, films very seldom affected me, but I was TERRIFIED. To the point that I slept with the light on that night! But it was such a great film that I just had to keep on watching.

But I grew to love it. At that point I wasn’t really a horror fan, but it’s the film that introduced me to the genre and now they’re one of my favourite types of films. DOTD actually rivals ‘Back To The Future’ as my all-time favourite movie now. The remake pales rather pales in comparison. Some of the knock-off zombie movies of recent years should look back to the original DOTD to see how it should be done! (Night (original / remake) and the original Day are good too.)

Ghosted by Jay Firestorm @ 07/25/2008 2:10 PM EDT


That poor shoe, and not forgetting it’s devasted family, from the partner it left behind and the young flip-flop twins who were only just getting broken in.

Ghosted by Guise @ 07/25/2008 2:13 PM EDT


OH THE SHOE! How could I forget that! More than likely tears were shed over that…I’m actually tearing up now

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 07/25/2008 2:15 PM EDT


Lottie: Even though I was afraid of the tarantula scene, that movie remains one of my all time favorites and as a result I will watch any movie starring Jonathan Pryce (aka Mr. Dark).

Ghosted by Sprocket @ 07/25/2008 2:16 PM EDT


I always felt sorry for that poor shoe too. That part always kinda makes me feel like crying. It’s those little whimpery noises he makes.

Ghosted by Annette @ 07/25/2008 2:23 PM EDT


Power tools- or anything that has a motor and is capable of running on its own. Hand drills, sewing machines, even cars when I was at my worst. I can thank watching Maximum Overdrive at 5 years old for this fear.

German Shepherds- They’re police dogs. And the police have never been kind to me- so why would their dogs be? I’m so scared of one just going flywheel mental and eating my face.

Halloween Costumes that cover head-to-toe- If you can’t see skin, then how can you be sure they’re HUMAN…? Pretty sure this comes from my Dad and Older Brother(9 years older) who went to great lengths to scare the crap out of my siblings and I.

Ghosted by kittymao @ 07/25/2008 2:46 PM EDT


I asked my mom why my dad had so much hair on his arms and legs when I was very young and she (jokingly) told me it was because he was a werewolf and to watch out when theres a full moon.
Next full moon my mom found me trying to sleep with my PillowPals in my closet with my Ghostbusters ghost zapper/ light thing scared to death my dad was going to eat me if he came in my room.

Ghosted by Jessica @ 07/25/2008 2:53 PM EDT


Good god, another one just popped up. Poltergeist was scary, but the preacher in Poltergeist 2 was beyond freaky. I still have a fear of the clergy to this day from that movie.

Ghosted by Toxikfoxx @ 07/25/2008 3:06 PM EDT


I once asked my mom why my men had facial hair and she said when God had just finished making Adam he was still wet and sticky. So, a monkey accidentally sat on his face and that’s why men have facial hair and monkey’s have bare bottoms.

I think I believed that for a few years.

Ghosted by DC @ 07/25/2008 3:06 PM EDT


A monkey accidentally sat on his face.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 07/25/2008 3:08 PM EDT


I used to eat the skin and all on lemons, too…if that’s what you meant by “eating much like an apple”.
If you were going for the “by breathing and wiping them off on my shirt, then peeling and dancing around the room with the curly peeling hanging off my ears as giant earrings”, then…I’m afraid I have no clue what you’re talking about.

Ghosted by brbolin @ 07/25/2008 3:15 PM EDT


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