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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Zzzzzz.


I haven't been sleeping well, lately. Not for any good (or bad) reason -- I've just found it preferable to do all the things I really need to do when nobody else on this side of the planet is awake. It was totally fine to live like that years ago, since anything in-between unemployment and self-employment doesn't really call for 9-5'ing. Now? Not so much.

I try to convince myself that three or four hours of sleep will suffice, and sometimes it does. But I guess there's a cumulative effect to this sort of thing, as I headed into work today needing to read eight scripts to clients with a certain level of zeal and eloquence, and it finally hit me that I was really fucking tired. Well past the point of having bloodshot, glassy eyes, I was literally stumbling on my walk from the bus stop to the office, very unable to navigate the sea of people doing whatever it is people do in Times Square.

When I got into the office, I noticed a peculiar side effect of sleep deprivation: It makes me talk like the filthiest, most exaggeratingly stereotypical truck driver ever. Was a series of audible "fucks" warranted by a faulty stapler? Probably not. I mean, sure, I had to staple a lot of papers together to prepare for this meeting, but I work in a fairly large building that had many other staplers available. In an industry that swells with pressure, it probably isn't a good idea to mark myself as the type of person who can lose their shit over a faulty stapler.

While somewhat slurry in general, I managed to keep it together for the twenty minutes that I needed to keep it together, and quietly ducked out afterwards. I've mentioned the long, long commute I have many times before, but today I was actually looking forward to it. There isn't much else to do on a long bus ride besides sleep. I settled in, cranked up the iPod, and as soon as the real world started blending with the dream world, a gigantic man sat almost literally on top of me, and spent the next 90 minutes guffawing into his phone with such incredible vigor that I'm still wondering if one of my enemies hired him to keep me from sleeping.

Yeah, this is pretty much my way of telling you that I'm too tired to write anything of substance tonight. As penance, I offer the embarrassing confession that I eat lemons much in the same way other people eat apples.

We now transform this into a random chat thread, only I guess it won't be so random since I'm going to give you a theme for discussion: Things that scared the shit out of you as a child, or maybe even now.

Posted by Matt on 07/24/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 189 comments

BoddahBoom, I respectfully reply that I, at this time in my current state of mental wellness have no statement on my whereabouts, and or activities at any time, unless a crime was committed that involved violence, in that case, I was with you, right?

Chestnuts roasted by Cereal Killer @ 07/25/2008 1:29 AM


TF, I also love the Nantucket Nectar, and had a horrifying experience at a Taco del Mar restaurant, ordered a delicious fish burrito and a NN lemonade… then (due to my cough syrup addiction) proceeded to slur my words to the cute african-american clerk, ordering, a nantuck nucker, which sounded like a racial slur (to me at the time) and left in shame, although I couldn’t see if she saw/heard my weirdness.

Wait, is this a confessional booth? Crap. Nobody tell my parole officer.

Chestnuts roasted by BoddahBoom @ 07/25/2008 1:32 AM


my first scary thing from childhood (thankfully I’m over it now) were the mushroom monsters from “mom and dad save the world. I know they were such a small part of the movie, and yet for some reason, I just thought they were under my bed.

The second thing I was scared of was because of watching “Unsolved Mysteries” just before bed time. Whichever creep on the show seemed the most cold hearted and likely to slaughter a family for no good reason was the subject of me sleeping with a baseball bat on those nights.

Chestnuts roasted by random bob @ 07/25/2008 1:55 AM


The first “Poltergeist” movie scared the hell out of me. And the original “Halloween”. I literally had nightmares for weeks after seeing Halloween. But looking back on it, it was worth it.

Chestnuts roasted by Timewaster @ 07/25/2008 2:25 AM


Mirrors. As a kid I would never look into a mirror at night because I thought that there were ghosts trapped within them trying to get out and if you looked, you released them. I’m still a little afraid.

Chestnuts roasted by Dymphna Wolf @ 07/25/2008 2:33 AM


Ugly people have always freaked me out. They still do.

Chestnuts roasted by Clawful @ 07/25/2008 2:39 AM


There wa an episode of Nickolodian’s “Are You Afraid of The Dark” that featured a kid who read a comic book about an evil Jester that comes to life. The Jester was only hinted at and never shown on screen. But then all of a sudden him in all of his evil yellow skinned glory appeared in full view on screen laughing.
I screamed as loud as I could and ran upstairs, with the image of that Jester burned into my mind.

Oh, and Id also like to add Large Marge. She was in my nightmres for days after seeing that movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 07/25/2008 2:48 AM


I had this clown money-bank my aunt bought for me. The thing freaked the hell out of me. It was just a head with a big yellow bowler hat and hands where the ears should be.

There on my nightstand it sat… always watching… I’d have to turn it around to be able to get to sleep.

Chestnuts roasted by RandomInsano @ 07/25/2008 3:00 AM


I was always afraid of the chainsaw dudes breaking into my window.

But I would not be afraid of the face at the top of the page. It looks like he got kicked in the nuts.

Chestnuts roasted by kitsu @ 07/25/2008 3:06 AM


Hey all! Long-time reader and occasional poster{I used to post under the name DuckieDobler}. With all this Unsolved Mysteries talk I thought I’d pass along the info that the show’s coming back October 13th,with Dennis Farina hosting. Apparently the aforementioned theme song is remaining intact,UM’s Wikipedia page has a bunch of links to different sites mentioning its relaunch{such as Sitcoms Online}. As far as stuff that scared me out of my wits back in the day,I’ve got seven words for ya:
“The Tale of the Dead Man’s Float”.
And echoing earlier posters,yes…Zeke the Plumber was pretty freaky at the time. That poor unfortunate hippo…

Chestnuts roasted by Lloyd Bleeker @ 07/25/2008 3:22 AM


That fuckin pot of boiling water from that Bugs Bunny Shriner’s PSA. That ain’t right.

Chestnuts roasted by WolfMan @ 07/25/2008 3:34 AM


Zelda from Pet Semetary was the scariest thing ever to me as a kid, and I was one of those kids who watched horror movies all the time without being scared or grossed out. Dear god was Zelda creepy; in appearance, and that freaking voice. Raaaacheeeel! Raaaacheeeel! I haven’t watched the movie in ages, and I’m pretty sure Zelda is what’s stopped me from doing so, even if I’d like to think I’m over my fear.

I also had several traumatic run-ins with cats as a kid that led to a fear of them for awhile. I’m over that now, however I still don’t trust them.

Chestnuts roasted by RobV1 @ 07/25/2008 3:44 AM


gingela5: That was going to be my still-current #1. Windows at night that are on a ground or deck level. A part of me always believe there’s someone there, and it alternates from random hoodlums to Robert Stack-level spooks.

You never told me we shared this fear~

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 07/25/2008 3:47 AM


my rule on spiders is that if i were to step on it and still be able to see its legs, i am afraid of it.

Chestnuts roasted by vwarb @ 07/25/2008 3:47 AM


All this talk about scary TV themes and not a mention of the US “Are You Afraid Of The Dark” theme? That is one song you don’t really want to hear ANYWHERE. Plus the credits had a slightly-less-scary synthrock remix.

Chestnuts roasted by Kitsu @ 07/25/2008 4:15 AM


The dinosaur Sharptooth from The Land Before Time scared me very, very much as a child. I spent nights lying awake in my bed, fearing Sharptooth might come and eat me.

Nowadays I’m afraid of Pennywise from It and Sadako from The Ring crawling out of my PC monitor and killing me.

Chestnuts roasted by Kapprika @ 07/25/2008 4:40 AM


Kapprika, don’t worroy, if they try it at the same time they’ll get wedged halfway through and you can just switch the monitor off!

Now, clown-faced, pointy yellow-teeth, wet-haired Sadako crawling from your screen…chuckling with a gravelly voice “They all float down here. When you’re down here with us, you’ll float too! Seven days!”

See, nothing to be scared of!

Chestnuts roasted by Guise @ 07/25/2008 5:07 AM


All the talk of Are You Afraid of the Dark? made me watch The Tale of Laughing in the Dark. Man, I want to go to a carnival ;_;;

Carnivals…..Halloween…….SQUEEEEEE

Is it October yet?

Chestnuts roasted by Neg will read Matts carnival adventure before bed @ 07/25/2008 5:15 AM


Large Marge from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure almost single handedly destroyed my young innocent soul when i was a youth. When I watch the movie now, i laugh at how rediculous the character is….but back then….she was something to be feared

Chestnuts roasted by BOAT @ 07/25/2008 5:23 AM


Go team lemon!

Chestnuts roasted by Spoodles @ 07/25/2008 6:38 AM


The Exorcist doesn’t scare me, but creepy subliminal images featuring Pazuzu do. Thanks a lot, a-hole. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Ash @ 07/25/2008 7:19 AM


TELL ‘EM LARGE MARGE SENCHYA!

I always closed my eyes right before she turned into a monster lol

Also, I don’t remeber this happening, but apparently when I saw Roger Rabbit in the theaters with my parents, when Doom gets flattened by the steam-roller I freaked out and told them WE GOTS TO GET OUT OF HERE!!! I was like 4 or 5

Chestnuts roasted by flabslapper @ 07/25/2008 7:20 AM


Hey, my name is catching on… I used to be afraid of any noise that woke me up from sleeping when i was between 4 and now. I try to keep every drop of light out of my bedroom when it’s slumber time and when i would be woken (awaken?) out of a deep sleep, i would barely open my eyes, so as to not be noticed as being awake by whater ghoul/boogerman that was currently taking up residence in my room. I would then stare at whatever shadows or dark forms my eyes could make out waiting for some sort of tell tale movement that would signal the oncoming zombie apocalypse. All the while I would barely be breathing so as not to give away my exact position. I also don’t like sleeping with my feet/legs hanging over the side of the bed for fear of a Chuckie type creature cutting my feet off.

Chestnuts roasted by randomcow @ 07/25/2008 7:28 AM


The scene in Superman III where the woman becomes part of the computer freaked me out as a child. Haven’t seen it since, though I suspect it wouldn’t be as terrifying now.

Chestnuts roasted by surlychick @ 07/25/2008 7:30 AM


I’m crasy tired too. It’s 4:30am here on the West Coast of Canada, and I’ve had a lot of web design projects to keep on top of lately and it means too many times seeing the dawn approach. At least when I have these days in the winter, it’s still dark when I do get to bed. I thought clients usually get inactive in the summer as they head off somewhere with kids, but not this year. What I fall into thos is that I’ll decide around 1:30am that I need to have a “quick ten minute nap” so I can get my brain in gear to finish of the last few things before bed, and stop dozing off at the computer and wonder why I had teh File Open box open. Well, ten minute nap never happnes, it always ends up being an hour out on the couch from which I wake up, realize the time, and then go back to work on the computer. The good thing is that when that happens, I’m now in extra motivated mode. And now I am done and could be going to bed, but I suddenly thought, “Hey, I haven’t checked x-entertainment today”. Okay, now it’s bed time…

Chestnuts roasted by CMJ @ 07/25/2008 7:39 AM


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