In 1989, my mother chaperoned a trip for my friends and I go to see No Holds Barred. No Holds Barred starred Hulk Hogan, who essentially played himself, fighting for freedom against the twin terrors of corporate soullessness and a giant, dark-skinned monster named "Zeus." It was all very Shakespearean.
I'm very conscious of the fact that No Holds Barred is one of the worst movies ever made, featuring everything from shady Cadillac drivers shitting themselves to Rob Lowe's sidekick from Wayne's World somehow managing to electrocute himself in protest of a wrestling match's outcome. Still, No Holds Barred was spirited if nothing else, and as a ten-year-old with a bucket of popcorn and a bunch of fellow wrestling nuts, I had a great time.
Only thing is, I made my mother sit like ten rows behind us, by herself. My crew wanted to maintain the illusion that we went to the theater on our own. I guess the cool kids were doing it.
That must rank among the top ten cruelest things I've ever done. It's bad enough that I roped my mother into seeing No Holds Barred, but to force her to pretend that she went to see it by herself? Beyond cruel. I probably extended my purgatory sentence by a good seven years on that afternoon alone.
This is your random survey of the night: Discuss some of your weirdest movie theater experiences. I have plenty of them, and will post a few in the comments once I zzz zzz zzz myself back to full health.
Posted by Matt on 07/21/2008. E-mail me!
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When I was 7, my family went to Disney World where my brother and I were traumatized by the “Alien Encounter” experience, where they simulated an alien running around the auditorium and terrorizing the patrons.
After that my brother, who was 6 at the time, refused to go into any dark place.
Later that summer we went to see “Mulan.” My brother refused to go.
And in May we went to see Indy 4. At one point Jones hides in a refridgerator to escape an atomic explosion. Afterwards he’s talking to someone who says, “Indy, thank God! Don’t you know not to crawl into refridgerators? Those things can be DEATH TRAPS.”
Apparantly some member of the audience thought that was hilarious and let out a large “guffaw.” Literally.
I’m seeing The Dark Night in IMAX tomorrow. Sooo pumped.
Pluse the only reason I even like that fact that Lifetime exists is that they have an hour of “The Golden Girls” on every weekday at 4.