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07/20/2008: X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Batman For Breakfast.

You can count me among the stupid idiots who still haven’t seen The Dark Knight. I’m honestly embarrassed about this. I fear all water cooler discussion at work tomorrow, though I suppose I could fudge my way through it with such vaguely defined gems as, “I loved that scene near the end with the Joker,” or “yeeeah man it was even better than the first one!” SO clever. Like, Darkman-level self-appropriated cleverness.


Still, my geek cred has not been totally shot to shit. I just picked up this sweet (literally lol) box of Reese’s Puffs cereal, arriving with a pretty great premium: A Batman Stunt Figure!

In terms of “free inside” cereal promotions, this is one of the best I’ve seen in recent years. Recalling the youthful thrill of digging my grimy hands through cereal that was meant for the entire family, searching desperately for a toy I’d lose interest in ten minutes later…yeah, I think a Batman Stunt Figure fits that template. Things like this make me want to knock up the woman just so I’d be able to see my boy’s face when he found out that his cereal came with BATMAN. Would it be wrong to adopt a son, let him have cereal, and give him back right afterwards?

The back of the box confirms that there are four figures in all to collect — two Batmans and two Jokers. Obviously, the Joker figures are the chasers. I don’t care if you’re the biggest Batfan in the history of DC Comics…you know you want a free Joker figure more than a free Batman figure.

I’ve never been a big Batman fan at all. Hate the fucker, actually. But I looooove all the guys he fights, and Mr. Joker tops that list. Suffice to say, if I put my hand in this box of Reese’s Puffs and pull out a stupid Batman, I will be forced to saw off my foot and eat it. Disappointment manifests itself in mysterious ways.

Looks like it’s time to do the deed. With crossed fingers and intestinal butterflies, I will now rip into my Reese’s Puffs, and if the gods favor me, I will become richer one Joker figure. Wish me luck and count to three…


MOTHERFUCKKAAAAAA


MOTHERSSSSSSSSHITPOOL


THE BATUSI


I wouldn’t doubt that these alleged Joker figures are a complete farce, and that the evil coconspirators known as General Mills and Batman Incorporated are lying about said figures to get us to buy more boxes of Reese’s Puffs. JESUS CHRIST, I WANTED JOKER SO BADLY.

As royally pissed as I am, I’ll try to remain objective and admit that the Batman figure is pretty neat. Each of the four figures has an action feature, thus justifying the “stunt” part of their umbrella title. In this case, Batman has the power of an automatic uppercut: Push his arm down, and he’ll punch it upwards all by himself!

The figures stand at somewhere between two and three inches tall, and they’re about as thick as a Bic lighter. I just thought you’d want to know that.

Overall, a nice little promotion, and it’s not like you’ll need your arm twisted to buy a box of Reese’s Puffs. The cereal is disturbingly good, to the point where I must consider the legality of a cereal tasting this good. Toss in a free Batman (or Joker, sniff), and breakfast solidifies its position as the most important meal of the day.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 153 comments

I got a box of Cheerios awhile back and got the same figure. Pretty cool, kind of reminds me of the old days of the 1989 Batman cereal (we probably won’t be getting a Dark Knite themed cereal, will we?).

Ghosted by Larry @ 07/20/2008 10:40 PM EDT

Whoops! Meant to say “Knight”, not “Knite”. My bad.

Ghosted by Larry @ 07/20/2008 10:41 PM EDT

Matt if I come across the Joker figure I’ll be sure to send it your way!

Ghosted by Dan @ 07/20/2008 10:41 PM EDT

Ahh cheer up Matt. You’ll get clown boy soon enough. =)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/20/2008 10:42 PM EDT

I haven’t seen it either and really have no plans to, keeping with my tradition of not seeing any comic book inspired films.

Ghosted by El Loco Gordo @ 07/20/2008 10:44 PM EDT

Mention of the Batusi cracked me up way more than it should have.
So, like you’re minus a foot now?

Ghosted by JoshC @ 07/20/2008 10:45 PM EDT

Yup, it tasted okay tho.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/20/2008 10:46 PM EDT

w00t! top 10 comment! The Summer Mega Party has been awesome!

Ghosted by MikeyD @ 07/20/2008 10:50 PM EDT

I hate Batman’s voice in the new movies. He sounds like the Cookie Monster. Wic Wic Wack.

Ghosted by Trimmtrabb @ 07/20/2008 10:52 PM EDT

I miss cereal promotions. My favorite were the Capn’ Crunch ornaments. Soggies rule

Ghosted by drew do @ 07/20/2008 10:52 PM EDT

I’m almost ashamed to say I never got into the Batman franchise either, always having a different lead playing Batman seemed to cheapen it. The continuity from one movie to the next seemed way off too; remember the Prince video with all those Vicki Vails running around?

That’s probably been my favorite part of the Batman franchise (all those Vickis).

Ghosted by MikeyD @ 07/20/2008 10:54 PM EDT

Hey Matt whats yout instant message service? I asked in the last thread but everybodys pretty much moved on from that thread.=)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/20/2008 10:56 PM EDT

Bat Dance. Nice.

Ghosted by Trimmtrabb @ 07/20/2008 10:56 PM EDT

Whoa. That’s way better than the Batman disc shooter I got with my last box of Cheerios.

I really really really want to see TDK. Unfortunately it sounds a bit too violent to take the little kiddies, so I’ll have to wait.

…Unless there are any X-E posters who want to baby sit for me maybe? Matt, maybe you can adopt my kids for a little while and let them open cereal boxes.

Ghosted by Casual Jeff @ 07/20/2008 10:57 PM EDT

Can’t you just borrow one of the nephews and give them cereal? Or are they too old for that shit now? If I ever have a kid, I’m so accepting donations from all the X-E “uncles” and “aunties.” I’m still torn on that subject. I’ve pretty much told the bf that I always figured if I ever have kids it’ll probably be the old fashioned way — total accident. His eyes popped when I said that and he pretty much went, “OH GOD DON’T JINX US!!”

Ghosted by Mystie @ 07/20/2008 10:59 PM EDT

Casual Jeff: I’m on it, I do get to take what I want out of the refrigerator I assume.

Ghosted by JoshC @ 07/20/2008 11:04 PM EDT

dudes its not violent at all… unless you consider stabbing,shooting,and face punching violent

Ghosted by punkass1 @ 07/20/2008 11:10 PM EDT

I’ll have to look for that! I still haven’t seen The Dark Knight either–tomorrow night! I’m pumped! And I think the little figure is so cute! Any other interesting Dark Knight food promos going on?

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 07/20/2008 11:11 PM EDT

After having seen Dark Knight, I’d say a Joker cereal toy is somewhere near the equivalent of an Alex DeLarge cereal toy. Which would be rather amusing now that I think about it.

Ghosted by Monte @ 07/20/2008 11:11 PM EDT

I totally want a Joker stunt figure to mount onto my dashboard. Sure, it may cross universes (my car is a Death Eater VW) but, hell yes, joker.

Ghosted by Cat the Vampire Slayer @ 07/20/2008 11:11 PM EDT

My sis in law won’t let her kids eat that kind of cereal, and my 8 year old cousin is deadly allergic to peanuts, so that kinda eff’s up the whole peanut butter cereal thing.

It’s a switch off though, because he is really into sponge bob and all kinds of cool toys and movies.

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 07/20/2008 11:17 PM EDT

Those figures are way better than the Batman spinner I got from a Cinnamon Toast Crunch box a couple weeks back.

I’ll be seeing DK tomorrow.

I remember watching an HBO kids specials years ago hosted by some guy named Jim who talked about things like cereal premiums. They said to collect all the things offered you had to eat like 8,000 boxes of cereal to collect all four.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 07/20/2008 11:23 PM EDT

Best comic book movie ever!
I bought a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch late last week but haven’t opened it yet. How have I held out so long? I have no idea. But my fingers are crossed for the Joker.

Ghosted by Thorzul @ 07/20/2008 11:25 PM EDT

Casual Jeff – How old are your kids? I went and seen it on Friday night, and its not too bad at all. Alot of implied violence, but very little onscreen. And nary a drop of blood. I took my 8 year old son to see it on Saturday after I had deemed it acceptable, and he loved it. I can’t believe an 8 year old sat through a 2.5 hour movie, but he wanted to turn around and watch it again. I did leave my 5 year old at home though.

Ghosted by Kris @ 07/20/2008 11:27 PM EDT

Speaking of these action figures, I do hope there’s a Joker figure that comes with a “disappearing pen” accessory.

Ghosted by Monte @ 07/20/2008 11:32 PM EDT

I know someone that got a kicking Joker figure out of a (I think) Lucky Charms box. It was pretty snazzy. Keep up the search, Matt!

Ghosted by Mario! @ 07/20/2008 11:35 PM EDT

Matt, we also got one of these boxes of cereals a few days ago, and I also got the same figure aswell. Pretty cool of a figure for a free toy, they kinda have a designer toy look going on. (I also collect designer toys aswell)

I too wanted a Joker figure. Was also surprised how skinny they are from front to back. They would have been kickass USB flash drives, since they are about the right size.

Ghosted by FOAME @ 07/20/2008 11:38 PM EDT

Who are all these people? I’m gone for two weeks and the old regulars buy the farm. Manimal, Kingklash, anybody?

Geez Mystie, what the hell happened? It’s like I went back to my home town and everyone moved.

Ghosted by Terror Claws @ 07/20/2008 11:40 PM EDT

I have not seen TDK either. I spent a very longt time coordinating the proper un-sold-out showtime that would work with everyone in my group. I then went on a 30-minute pilgrimage aaaalll the way to the movie theater in the back of a pickup with four other dudes so we could see it and then they all decided they had to shotgun beer before we went in. By the time they were done with that, it had sold out. I didn’t get to see it, I didn’t get a beer, and I didn’t even get to ride in front of the truck on the way home. I’m just sayin.

Ghosted by socialpariah @ 07/20/2008 11:42 PM EDT

AH, yes, the borderline legality of a cereal tasting as good as Reese’s Puffs…when I was a lot younger and I first got hooked on this cereal, I would loudly proclaim how much I loved the cereal ’cause: “THE BALLS TASTE SO SMOOTH AND SAVOURY!”…and if I say that now??? Damn, I hate how age has stolen my innocence.

This post of yours was depressing for me, but still, I’m sorry you didn’t get the Joker.

PS: you better get on that Dark Knight s**t, that flick was mighty fine ;-)

Ghosted by Romi @ 07/20/2008 11:43 PM EDT

I recently got a chopping Joker figure in a box of Cherios, that I’ll probably never finish. I also saw the movie today with my family. I thought it was really well done, but like every summer blockbuster I didn’t feel that it lived up to the hype.

Ghosted by Sonny @ 07/20/2008 11:53 PM EDT

I’m here Terror Claws :P

This is not much consolation, I know~

Ghosted by Neg @ 07/20/2008 11:53 PM EDT

Terror Claws you can ALWAYS count on me bein here! =)

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/21/2008 12:01 AM EDT

You sound like a Batman villain, Matt.

Ghosted by mezzanine @ 07/21/2008 12:03 AM EDT

I too miss the antics of kingklash and Manimal, though Manimal pops up from time to time to say hello. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/21/2008 12:04 AM EDT

I still prefer the batman bank promotion from the first michael keaton batman

Ghosted by Peter @ 07/21/2008 12:09 AM EDT

To all of you who are going to see it, It is AWESOME. My only gripe is that I think it was so awesome it is going to kill the franchise. I do not think there is any way that they will be able to make another sequel that even compares to this one. Gives me visions of X3, Spiderman 3, and Superman Returns (shudders)….terrible

Ghosted by drew do @ 07/21/2008 12:20 AM EDT

There’s a really annoying commercial for this promo in heavy rotation during my morning cartoons. Kid does a Joker impression that should never be forced on anyone before 8 am.
I had to get through Batman Begins before I could go see TDK…we must have short attention spans over here because we were kind of grumbling at the pace of the first movie, but I’m definitely on the bandwagon that thinks the new one is brilliant.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 07/21/2008 12:25 AM EDT

This new Batman movie sounds like a good flick. I’m thinking I should go see it.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/21/2008 12:33 AM EDT

That image of Tiny Bats in the Reese’s Puffs begs of lolcat-ification.

I think the only two Joker figures in existence are the ones in the ads. It’s like the Boardwalk piece in the McDs Monopoly game.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 07/21/2008 12:35 AM EDT

I don’t know what is more depressing; that it is Monday morning now or the fact that it will still be Monday morning while I’m in a meeting.
That’s why I am saving this post. It’ll keep me awake.

Ghosted by Bill @ 07/21/2008 12:42 AM EDT

I just finished watching Beowulf. Was surprisingly excellent.

Ghosted by Clockwork @ 07/21/2008 12:48 AM EDT

I got a free Joker Toy, Jealous? Yeah, take that.
I havent seen the movie yet either, and I am equally ashamed. But hey, how about that fight scene? The one near the middle? That was pretty kewl.

Ghosted by Lucky @ 07/21/2008 1:29 AM EDT

Lucky: The score was incredible too, as was the cinematography. I thought all the actors were terrific.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/21/2008 1:31 AM EDT

That’s a pretty cute little Batman there. My life would be slightly more complete if there were DC “Heroes” figures. Having an SD Batman and Joker to go with my SD Indy, Lando, and Optimus Prime would just be too cool.

Ghosted by Annette @ 07/21/2008 1:35 AM EDT

Tell them that you thought Heath was spectacular, but you still like Begins more.

You can be fringe and edgy, like me, mang.

Ghosted by Neg @ 07/21/2008 1:36 AM EDT

I got a box of this and it came with a Joker. I wanted another figure, but my TWO local supermarkets are only carrying standard Reeses Puffs now. Where the fuck are the Batman ones? They have other cereals with the Batman figures, but I don’t want those cereals. This is really aggravating.

Cheers,
Diego

Ghosted by Diego @ 07/21/2008 1:39 AM EDT

I work at BuyCostumes.com and we convinced my department boss to take our department to the movie as Product Research (since we carry so much Batman stuff). Although he seemed eager to take the department on a group trip anyway and the theatre is right across the street from our work. :)

So I get to see the movie free… at least the first time because my gf pretty much demands that I still take her to it. Not too shabby.

Does anyone remember the Batman Burger from McDonald’s? I think everyone remember the glass set from Batman Forever but I always thought the Batman Burger was neat. It had a longer bun and three patties stretched across it, sort of overlapping. Not too bad and not unlike the Gilbert Burger that they had up here for oversized DT Gilbert Brown of the GB Packers at BK.

Rp

Ghosted by MessiahRp @ 07/21/2008 1:41 AM EDT

Matt-
I had to post and point out how creepy it is that you call your girlfriend “the woman” in every post she’s mentioned in. What is the deal with that? Does she know you do that? All the time? Is she cool with that?

Dude, It’s not ironic or cute or anything like that. This last entry, I had to stop reading for a second because I realized that “the woman” is actually referring to the girl whom you love and live with. Then I have to spend another 5 seconds thinking things like how she should fuck your shit up and what I’d do if I was in her position.
So yeah, don’t do that anymore. Call her by the name that represents what she means to you. Unless she’s just some woman to you.

In short, calling your significant other the woman in every single post is jarring and…well, creepy.

Much love tho

Ghosted by Joelle @ 07/21/2008 1:59 AM EDT

Joelle: It’s a privacy thing, and a joke.  And not in the “old ball and chain” sense.  More in a Vera the mysterious wife of Norm sense.  Come on. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/21/2008 2:03 AM EDT

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