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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Batman For Breakfast.

You can count me among the stupid idiots who still haven't seen The Dark Knight. I'm honestly embarrassed about this. I fear all water cooler discussion at work tomorrow, though I suppose I could fudge my way through it with such vaguely defined gems as, "I loved that scene near the end with the Joker," or "yeeeah man it was even better than the first one!" SO clever. Like, Darkman-level self-appropriated cleverness.


Still, my geek cred has not been totally shot to shit. I just picked up this sweet (literally lol) box of Reese's Puffs cereal, arriving with a pretty great premium: A Batman Stunt Figure!

In terms of "free inside" cereal promotions, this is one of the best I've seen in recent years. Recalling the youthful thrill of digging my grimy hands through cereal that was meant for the entire family, searching desperately for a toy I'd lose interest in ten minutes later...yeah, I think a Batman Stunt Figure fits that template. Things like this make me want to knock up the woman just so I'd be able to see my boy's face when he found out that his cereal came with BATMAN. Would it be wrong to adopt a son, let him have cereal, and give him back right afterwards?

The back of the box confirms that there are four figures in all to collect -- two Batmans and two Jokers. Obviously, the Joker figures are the chasers. I don't care if you're the biggest Batfan in the history of DC Comics...you know you want a free Joker figure more than a free Batman figure.

I've never been a big Batman fan at all. Hate the fucker, actually. But I looooove all the guys he fights, and Mr. Joker tops that list. Suffice to say, if I put my hand in this box of Reese's Puffs and pull out a stupid Batman, I will be forced to saw off my foot and eat it. Disappointment manifests itself in mysterious ways.

Looks like it's time to do the deed. With crossed fingers and intestinal butterflies, I will now rip into my Reese's Puffs, and if the gods favor me, I will become richer one Joker figure. Wish me luck and count to three...


MOTHERFUCKKAAAAAA


MOTHERSSSSSSSSHITPOOL


THE BATUSI


I wouldn't doubt that these alleged Joker figures are a complete farce, and that the evil coconspirators known as General Mills and Batman Incorporated are lying about said figures to get us to buy more boxes of Reese's Puffs. JESUS CHRIST, I WANTED JOKER SO BADLY.

As royally pissed as I am, I'll try to remain objective and admit that the Batman figure is pretty neat. Each of the four figures has an action feature, thus justifying the "stunt" part of their umbrella title. In this case, Batman has the power of an automatic uppercut: Push his arm down, and he'll punch it upwards all by himself!

The figures stand at somewhere between two and three inches tall, and they're about as thick as a Bic lighter. I just thought you'd want to know that.

Overall, a nice little promotion, and it's not like you'll need your arm twisted to buy a box of Reese's Puffs. The cereal is disturbingly good, to the point where I must consider the legality of a cereal tasting this good. Toss in a free Batman (or Joker, sniff), and breakfast solidifies its position as the most important meal of the day.

Posted by Matt on 07/20/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 154 comments
1 2 3 … 7

I got a box of Cheerios awhile back and got the same figure. Pretty cool, kind of reminds me of the old days of the 1989 Batman cereal (we probably won’t be getting a Dark Knite themed cereal, will we?).

Chestnuts roasted by Larry @ 07/20/2008 10:40 PM

Whoops! Meant to say “Knight”, not “Knite”. My bad.

Chestnuts roasted by Larry @ 07/20/2008 10:41 PM

Matt if I come across the Joker figure I’ll be sure to send it your way!

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 07/20/2008 10:41 PM

Ahh cheer up Matt. You’ll get clown boy soon enough. =)

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/20/2008 10:42 PM

I haven’t seen it either and really have no plans to, keeping with my tradition of not seeing any comic book inspired films.

Chestnuts roasted by El Loco Gordo @ 07/20/2008 10:44 PM

Mention of the Batusi cracked me up way more than it should have.
So, like you’re minus a foot now?

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 07/20/2008 10:45 PM

Yup, it tasted okay tho.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/20/2008 10:46 PM

w00t! top 10 comment! The Summer Mega Party has been awesome!

Chestnuts roasted by MikeyD @ 07/20/2008 10:50 PM

I hate Batman’s voice in the new movies. He sounds like the Cookie Monster. Wic Wic Wack.

Chestnuts roasted by Trimmtrabb @ 07/20/2008 10:52 PM

I miss cereal promotions. My favorite were the Capn’ Crunch ornaments. Soggies rule

Chestnuts roasted by drew do @ 07/20/2008 10:52 PM

I’m almost ashamed to say I never got into the Batman franchise either, always having a different lead playing Batman seemed to cheapen it. The continuity from one movie to the next seemed way off too; remember the Prince video with all those Vicki Vails running around?

That’s probably been my favorite part of the Batman franchise (all those Vickis).

Chestnuts roasted by MikeyD @ 07/20/2008 10:54 PM

Hey Matt whats yout instant message service? I asked in the last thread but everybodys pretty much moved on from that thread.=)

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/20/2008 10:56 PM

Bat Dance. Nice.

Chestnuts roasted by Trimmtrabb @ 07/20/2008 10:56 PM

Whoa. That’s way better than the Batman disc shooter I got with my last box of Cheerios.

I really really really want to see TDK. Unfortunately it sounds a bit too violent to take the little kiddies, so I’ll have to wait.

…Unless there are any X-E posters who want to baby sit for me maybe? Matt, maybe you can adopt my kids for a little while and let them open cereal boxes.

Chestnuts roasted by Casual Jeff @ 07/20/2008 10:57 PM

Can’t you just borrow one of the nephews and give them cereal? Or are they too old for that shit now? If I ever have a kid, I’m so accepting donations from all the X-E “uncles” and “aunties.” I’m still torn on that subject. I’ve pretty much told the bf that I always figured if I ever have kids it’ll probably be the old fashioned way — total accident. His eyes popped when I said that and he pretty much went, “OH GOD DON’T JINX US!!”

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/20/2008 10:59 PM

Casual Jeff: I’m on it, I do get to take what I want out of the refrigerator I assume.

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 07/20/2008 11:04 PM

dudes its not violent at all… unless you consider stabbing,shooting,and face punching violent

Chestnuts roasted by punkass1 @ 07/20/2008 11:10 PM

I’ll have to look for that! I still haven’t seen The Dark Knight either–tomorrow night! I’m pumped! And I think the little figure is so cute! Any other interesting Dark Knight food promos going on?

Chestnuts roasted by gingela5 @ 07/20/2008 11:11 PM

After having seen Dark Knight, I’d say a Joker cereal toy is somewhere near the equivalent of an Alex DeLarge cereal toy. Which would be rather amusing now that I think about it.

Chestnuts roasted by Monte @ 07/20/2008 11:11 PM

I totally want a Joker stunt figure to mount onto my dashboard. Sure, it may cross universes (my car is a Death Eater VW) but, hell yes, joker.

Chestnuts roasted by Cat the Vampire Slayer @ 07/20/2008 11:11 PM

My sis in law won’t let her kids eat that kind of cereal, and my 8 year old cousin is deadly allergic to peanuts, so that kinda eff’s up the whole peanut butter cereal thing.

It’s a switch off though, because he is really into sponge bob and all kinds of cool toys and movies.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 07/20/2008 11:17 PM

Those figures are way better than the Batman spinner I got from a Cinnamon Toast Crunch box a couple weeks back.

I’ll be seeing DK tomorrow.

I remember watching an HBO kids specials years ago hosted by some guy named Jim who talked about things like cereal premiums. They said to collect all the things offered you had to eat like 8,000 boxes of cereal to collect all four.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/20/2008 11:23 PM

Best comic book movie ever!
I bought a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch late last week but haven’t opened it yet. How have I held out so long? I have no idea. But my fingers are crossed for the Joker.

Chestnuts roasted by Thorzul @ 07/20/2008 11:25 PM

Casual Jeff – How old are your kids? I went and seen it on Friday night, and its not too bad at all. Alot of implied violence, but very little onscreen. And nary a drop of blood. I took my 8 year old son to see it on Saturday after I had deemed it acceptable, and he loved it. I can’t believe an 8 year old sat through a 2.5 hour movie, but he wanted to turn around and watch it again. I did leave my 5 year old at home though.

Chestnuts roasted by Kris @ 07/20/2008 11:27 PM

Speaking of these action figures, I do hope there’s a Joker figure that comes with a “disappearing pen” accessory.

Chestnuts roasted by Monte @ 07/20/2008 11:32 PM

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