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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Burger Tyrant.


Bah, this shit's ridiculous. I've been seeing commercials for this Burger King "Club BK" kids' meal starring Pikachu and Apple Fries for a while now, and it seemed like just the type of neoclassic Happy Meal worth blogging about. I realize that Burger King doesn't make Happy Meals, but you know what I mean.


I expected the world, but what I got back was this sad, boring bag, with a Pokemon toy haphazardly shoved in with overcooked fries and crown-shaped chicken tenders. They didn't have Apple Fries in stock, which is kind of unbelievable. If there's one thing I'd never expect anyone to sell out of, it's APPLE FRIES.

That isn't what's bothering me, though. What really bugs me is the total lack of customized packaging. There's no "experience" to this.

BACK IN MY DAY, the Happy Meal was as much about its flashy bravado as its toys and cheeseburgers. Was there a single kid in the country who didn't at least try to keep the house-shaped Happy Meal box in perfect working order throughout their meal, free of folds and fry oil? Hell, a good many of us, myself included, went so far as to take those boxes home with us, working under the idea that we'd keep them forever and ever. We never did, but the fun was in the notion that we could.

Those Happy Meal boxes, with their colorful artwork and random puzzles, were as much a part of the filthy food experience as anything else. When McDonald's began phasing out the boxes in favor of less-artful bags, I was sad, but at least the bags still had the same gamut of illustrations and puzzles...albeit less colorful ones.

But this?! An unrelated bag lacking any kind of kiddy theme? APPALLED.


To protest, I refuse to acknowledge the neat holographic Prinplup card or the Pokemon-themed card holder it came with. Take that, BK.

In anti-celebration of this disappointing turn of events, I'd like to institute a new survey. In the comments, talk about your favorite Happy Meal toy ever. Yes, the free toys you got from other fine greasy food establishments are totally fine to talk about, too.

On the plus side: If getting pissed about the quality level of a Burger King "Club BK" kids' meal is the worst thing that happened to me today, I think I'm still in the black.

Posted by Matt on 07/17/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 264 comments

Welcome Silvertongue. Be sure to post MUCH more often, that way you don’t miss out on any of the fun. Oh, another toy I REALLY like was the McBoo buckets. I know theyv’e already been mention a dozen times over by now at least, and iv’e probably already mention them myself. But they were/are BY FAR the COOLEST kids meal containers EVER!=D

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/18/2008 5:04 PM

Did anyone else eat at Wendy’s in the very early nineties, they gave away slap bracelets and (not really a toy) crazy neon colored baseball caps. The caps had no branding on them so they were almost kinda cool for a nerdy tween like me in ca. 199x.

Chestnuts roasted by BoddahBoom @ 07/18/2008 5:06 PM

ULTRAMAN: Yeah, I distinctly remember having a Hot Wheel pickup truck with two all-in-yellow (made of plastic) motorcycles in the truckbed, that came from a Happy Meal.

Chestnuts roasted by Beckner @ 07/18/2008 5:07 PM

Did anyone else realize that it was simultaneously the best and worst day of your liefe when you realized you could just get the toy by itself and not worry about gambling for doubles, despite having to pay for it?

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/18/2008 5:09 PM

I bought 4 of those MOTU figures from McDonalds, five years back, left them in a McDonalds bag and promptly threw the bag away. Doh.

Chestnuts roasted by Beckner @ 07/18/2008 5:10 PM

I also vote for the McDino transforming food thingies.

Chestnuts roasted by zharicant @ 07/18/2008 5:11 PM

Cameron T, they sell full-size neuralizer toys at the Men In Black ride at Universal Studios Orlando. It pops up via spring and makes a chirping noise followed by a noise fairly close to flash noise from the movie when a button is pressed. I can’t remember exactly how much they cost, but I do remember being surprised at how reasonable it was for a theme park souvenir.

I remember virtually every toy on this list. I was born in 1984, so some of them are just before my time. If only I could remember chemistry as well as kid’s meal toys, sigh.

ULTRAMAN, this actually my second post ever. My first was in the Quirky Survey thread. It’s nice of you to post greetings from newcomers, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Gwimwock @ 07/18/2008 5:24 PM

Greetings for newcomers, rather.

Chestnuts roasted by Gwimwock @ 07/18/2008 5:26 PM

It’s really hard for me to pick a favorite when I have so many McDonald’s toys. My parents were moreso obsessed with them than I was and I have many complete sets and probably a fucked up metabolism.

My favorites
The Power Rangers
Hercules (I really enjoyed this set because there were 20 characters and you could recreate the movie)
The transforming Mcdonald Food Items / Mutants

I liked the lines where all the parts connect to form something. Like the Inspector Gadget toys or Tarzan Rube Goldberg device.

Chestnuts roasted by Brett @ 07/18/2008 5:43 PM

i was a huge fan of the Bambi line too- that owl bings me the warm-fuzzies. To be honest, any figure that was similar to real toys was a winner for me- so I loved those Kids Club BK figures too…

Although, when someone brought up the MCD’s Dino Changeables, my tummy did a flip! I had the tyrannosaurus/happy meal box, and I think there was a Pterodactyl that was a fry box.

Chestnuts roasted by kittymao @ 07/18/2008 5:51 PM

The McBoo pails.They just cry Halloween to me & every year I want them to bring them back…. and the Christmas Muppet Babies plush. I still have them in storage.

Chestnuts roasted by Becky @ 07/18/2008 6:11 PM

Some of the best promotions over the years

- The Burger King Cups that were based off Super Powers figures, the figures would clip on to the cups and act as the handles. I actually lucked out and got Superman, I still have the cup to this day.

-Muppet Babies from McDonald’s. I loved these guys when I was a kid and I still have them.

-Food Changeables. Awesome, but not the dino ones. They sucked.

- Alvin and the Chipmunks from Kentucky Fried Chicken, I’m not sure, but it may have been a Canadian promo. The figures were more accurate then some store bought figures.

Bump in the Night from Subway- I went nuts for these when I was younger (Probably too old to be collecting them) I loved the show and these were such great figures. I only finised my collection LAST year. They are VERY hard to track down.

Honourable mentions go out to- Batman Returns, Batman Forever Glass Mugs and Pogs, Lion King from Burger King, The Casper puppets from Pizza Hut, Toy Story from Burger King, Animaniacs from McDonald’s, And Subway had a bunch of weird promotions based on early 90′s movies – Monkey Trouble, The Santa Claus etc.

I’d also like to vouch that I do miss the collector cups. As a kid you could succesfully get TWO fun things from a fast food joint if your parent ate there too. I remember once my dad brought home 8 jurassic park cups because he ate there with the guys from work and he was the only one with a Kid. I was happy that day.

Also, about 12-15 years ago, they used to give out collector cups with about EVERY drink that you got at Disney/Universal/Busch Gardens. I think I came home with at least 20 cups from that trip. Now they don’t give out any unless you want to pay a premium for them.

Cheers!

Chestnuts roasted by Ian McDonald @ 07/18/2008 6:37 PM

Greetings, Hanglyman. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one that took over five years to post for the first time.

Chestnuts roasted by Lottie of Millhaven @ 07/18/2008 6:50 PM

Ah, know what else was pretty slick? Those giant-huge-retarded Taco Bell Episode One cup toppers! I still have a Darth Maul top, on the top of my PC tower waving rather menacingly.

Chestnuts roasted by Beckner @ 07/18/2008 6:50 PM

lego’s, hotwheels, any toy car…

But I hate, HATE false wheels hiding actual rolling wheels underneath. Bach!

oh and any glass from Mcd0nald’s (disney, doug, shrek etc)

Chestnuts roasted by the name is irrelevant @ 07/18/2008 7:37 PM

oh yeah and does mickey dees still have hm’s in boxes when you order inside?
Whenever I order a happy meal its in a boring bag

Chestnuts roasted by its till irrelevant @ 07/18/2008 7:41 PM

I read a wikipedia article indicating that McDonald’s is phasing out the McDonaldland characters. Nowadays the most we see are commercials of Ronald McDonald playing DDR or engaging in extreme sports. Boy, when you look at what’s happened to McDonald’s overall look, from happy meal toys to commercials to placemats, it makes me harken back to a time when fast food was FUN…

Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 07/18/2008 7:47 PM

Hey – there’s a Pokemon Tournament in New York City this weekend (Saturday) or maybe it’s today (Friday) I don’t know.

“Pokemon Videogame Showdown” it’s called.

Chestnuts roasted by Glico @ 07/18/2008 8:14 PM

I think McDs is gettin rid of their former mascot characters because theyr’e tryin to appeal to a more adult crowd. I could be wrong though.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/18/2008 8:14 PM

ULTRA: It’s not that really — it’s that kid-targeted ads are under a lot of scrutiny, and if they’re coming from a place that nearly exclusively sells food that is bad for kids (I exaggerate, but not by much), that makes it worse. Many kids’ networks/programming blocks won’t carry McDonald’s or similar commercials because the backlash is so large. Fortunately for Ronald, people want his meat with or without the thirty-second spots.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/18/2008 8:48 PM

I would bet McDonald’s is phasing out most of their mascot characters because they are tired of getting criticized that the characters appeal to children and therefore are encouraging children to eat unhealthy food.

In this day and age it is much more difficult for companies to advertise their unhealthy products (whether it is fast food, candy, or breakfast cereal) directly towards children without being attacked for it.

I find it all very silly. It seems that as long as a parent is using common sense and has the ability to say ‘no’ to their child, we shouldn’t need to worry about Ronald McDonald and friends trying to sell us some McNuggets or hotcakes.

But nah… it is easier just to blame the companies. Bah!

Chestnuts roasted by Magic Toy @ 07/18/2008 8:49 PM

Matt: Yeah I forgot about the big backlash agaisnt fast food places, because of the obesity epidemic with kids. But then again it’s not like they have to worry about goin out of buisness. If there’s one thing that will ALWAYS be around no matter what, it’s fast food. lol.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/18/2008 8:56 PM

Magic Toy: I agree! It’s really stupid in my eyes to blame others four your inability to use common sense and lack of a backbone to say no to yur youngins.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/18/2008 9:08 PM

This topic reminds me of the great days of cereal toys………… I miss those too!

Chestnuts roasted by Forko @ 07/18/2008 9:17 PM

I remember that damn Mario toy, the one with the spring and the suction cup. You would push it down, set it on the table and wait for the magic to happen. Awww, those were the days.

Chestnuts roasted by Forko @ 07/18/2008 9:21 PM

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