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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Burger Tyrant.


Bah, this shit's ridiculous. I've been seeing commercials for this Burger King "Club BK" kids' meal starring Pikachu and Apple Fries for a while now, and it seemed like just the type of neoclassic Happy Meal worth blogging about. I realize that Burger King doesn't make Happy Meals, but you know what I mean.


I expected the world, but what I got back was this sad, boring bag, with a Pokemon toy haphazardly shoved in with overcooked fries and crown-shaped chicken tenders. They didn't have Apple Fries in stock, which is kind of unbelievable. If there's one thing I'd never expect anyone to sell out of, it's APPLE FRIES.

That isn't what's bothering me, though. What really bugs me is the total lack of customized packaging. There's no "experience" to this.

BACK IN MY DAY, the Happy Meal was as much about its flashy bravado as its toys and cheeseburgers. Was there a single kid in the country who didn't at least try to keep the house-shaped Happy Meal box in perfect working order throughout their meal, free of folds and fry oil? Hell, a good many of us, myself included, went so far as to take those boxes home with us, working under the idea that we'd keep them forever and ever. We never did, but the fun was in the notion that we could.

Those Happy Meal boxes, with their colorful artwork and random puzzles, were as much a part of the filthy food experience as anything else. When McDonald's began phasing out the boxes in favor of less-artful bags, I was sad, but at least the bags still had the same gamut of illustrations and puzzles...albeit less colorful ones.

But this?! An unrelated bag lacking any kind of kiddy theme? APPALLED.


To protest, I refuse to acknowledge the neat holographic Prinplup card or the Pokemon-themed card holder it came with. Take that, BK.

In anti-celebration of this disappointing turn of events, I'd like to institute a new survey. In the comments, talk about your favorite Happy Meal toy ever. Yes, the free toys you got from other fine greasy food establishments are totally fine to talk about, too.

On the plus side: If getting pissed about the quality level of a Burger King "Club BK" kids' meal is the worst thing that happened to me today, I think I'm still in the black.

Posted by Matt on 07/17/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 264 comments
1 … 4 5 6 7 8 … 11

I loved the stomper happy meal when I was a kid. Of course it wasn’t a full sized battery powered stomper. But it still was a nice “hot wheel sized” stomper. I remember saving the box for awhile. It served as a nice little garage.

Chestnuts roasted by Greg @ 07/18/2008 8:48 AM

I still have a Richard Scarry figure that I think was a McDonald’s happy meal toy. ? It’s a pig (Mr. Frumble) driving a pickle car. Mr. Frumble was calamity-prone but you’d think the pickle car would turn his luck around for the better. Shows how much I know about pickle cars I guess. Maybe it was pickled in bullshot…

Chestnuts roasted by Faith @ 07/18/2008 9:26 AM

Of course the SMB 3 toys, even though I had a defective Koopa-Paratroopa. Pisses me off to this day. Also of course, the Hotwheels cars.

Anyway, I remember getting a figurine of that bear mascot from A&W, thinking it was a cookie, and taking a bite out of it. Luckily I realized it wasn’t edible before I swallowed the thing’s foot.

Other things were Warner Bros. toys in the Adventure Meal at Arby’s (which, yes, I called Happy Meal). McD’s also had Tiny Toons stuff I believe, and probably Batman at some point. OOH, and the Inspector Gadget figures from BK.

One time I got a fire helmet from White Castle. That thing was moderately cool.

I wanted to get The Simpsons figures at BK in 2001, but only got Bart in a skeleton costume.

Last year McDonald’s had the TMNT figures, Donatello and his spinning bo was a good stress reliever. McD’s also had the Sonic toys a couple years ago too.

Chestnuts roasted by Paul O @ 07/18/2008 9:26 AM

Oh yeah, and the Carmen Sandiego stuff from Wendy’s.

Chestnuts roasted by Paul O @ 07/18/2008 9:28 AM

Okay, reading the other comments, the cars came out in 1984, were called “Fast Macs,” and it was Big Mac, chief of police, that I was thinking of, with the white and blue car. http://www.bearstuffs.com/ product.detail.php?id=1584972

I had Garfield and Kermit on skateboards, the Gremlins records, McBoos, McPails, and a bunch of California Raisins from Hardees.

I stopped getting toys in the early nineties, but I did pay my nephew $2 for a Pikachu from BK in 1999. It came in one of those “biggest toy recall in history” PokeBalls.

Chestnuts roasted by ATD @ 07/18/2008 9:37 AM

Don’t remember what place they were from, but it was these flip cars from Tiny Toons. The detail on them was fantastic – and I had the whole set, which was rare. I think these are up in my parent’s attic somewhere, actually.

I also remember going crazy for the Snow White toys from McDonalds and trying to collect them all, but I don’t remember why. They weren’t all that spectacular.

The original Toy Story toys were great too.

AND…the Garfield cups from McDonalds. One of these days I’m going to buy a set off eBay. My family had them growing up but all but one has broken. They were my favorite cups to drink milk out of.

Chestnuts roasted by Mary @ 07/18/2008 9:41 AM

Fraggles in go-karts you pull back and they zoom off in grandiose style. The source, however, I do not recall.

Fraggles rule.

Chestnuts roasted by tylor @ 07/18/2008 9:42 AM

Ok apparently everyone else loves them too and they’re from McD. I had the carrot!

Chestnuts roasted by tylor @ 07/18/2008 9:43 AM

I’ve had many a favorite Happy Meal toys. My top two sets:

The Tiny Toons cars that flipped to reveal a second car! Captain Planet and Chip n Dale did it too I believe.
I loved the commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2nK8cie2ds

Best use of meal box was the Sonic the Hedgehog set, with little ramps to fold out and launch characters over, up and through. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Barry @ 07/18/2008 9:45 AM

Sorry to double post, but THESE are my true faves:
http://hustlerofculture.typepad.com/me_we/images/mcdsega.jpg
The Sonic handhelds!!! Racing and soccer were the best.

Chestnuts roasted by Barry @ 07/18/2008 9:51 AM

From McDonald’s I loved the tranformers that went from a McDonald’s food item to a creature, especially the burger that turned into a dinosaur I believe. The Barbie minis were real cool too.

But the BEST toy I ever got was from Wendy’s circa 1990ish at Halloween (back when kids still trick or treated at night!) and it was a play-doh extruder about the size of a pez dispenser with Frankenstein or other Halloween creatures for the head and it came with a mini tub of glow in the dark play-doh. I got it on Halloween night and was so jazzed it made waiting for it to get dark bearable.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica @ 07/18/2008 10:07 AM

My favorite happy meal toy was teeny little tins of Play-doh. This was right before we moved, so I remember it being in 1984 or 1985. Second place of course goes to dress-up-able Chicken McNugget, 3rd prize to Transformer Happy Meal foods.

I always loved the boxes as a kid, but to be honest, I kind of prefer the bags now, only because I frequently still get happy meals for lunch (the perfect lunch sized portion of McDonalds food that doesn’t make you feel ill) and the only McDonalds near my office is in the mall, so it doesn’t have a drive-through and I if I have to walk all the way back through the mall and then back to my office carrying a happy meal box I feel kind of like a loser. At least with a bag I can shove it in my purse.

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 07/18/2008 10:33 AM

I’ve also remembered the McDonald’s McNuggets trick or treat dress up toys! I know these well, as when I was a kid I received three in a Happy Meal by mistake. Triple score! Unfortunately it was because the window guy was mentally challenged, and not just luck.

Chestnuts roasted by Barry @ 07/18/2008 10:41 AM

I used to have all the McDonald’s transformable characters. I mostly had the fry guys and the Chicken McNuggets because those were the most common. I had a couble of the Big Mac box ones too. They may still be somewhere in my mom’s house, but I’m not about to embark on the mission to find them.

I also remember rubber McNuggets that you could ‘dress up’ with little articles of rubber clothing. I mostly remember the tennis playing McNugget that came with a headband…he rocked that headband. I miss the old toys.

Chestnuts roasted by DC @ 07/18/2008 10:42 AM

I had forgotten, but as a kid, I was totally obsessed with the California Raisins figures from Hardees. I had dozens of the damn things. I must have been eating Hardees three meals a day for months. That explains the adult onset diabetes…

Chestnuts roasted by tanta07 @ 07/18/2008 10:49 AM

The first set of Animaiacs toys from McDonald’s was my first complete collection of Happy Meal toys, so when I was little, they were kind of special to me. The Slappy and Skippy motorcycle toy was my favourite. Slappy was rad.
As a hug animal nut, I was also super into the Animal Kingdom toys they had to commemmorate the opening of the park. Other favourite sets were the 101/102 Dalmatians, and the 100 years of Disney or whatever. I liked the fact that you didn’t know what toy you’d get. With so many toys in those sets, I dunno if the chances of getting doubles were that high. I never got any doubles.

Chestnuts roasted by Nina @ 07/18/2008 10:58 AM

Oh, I also loved the Babar toys that Arby’s in the US used to have! Until I was about 6, fast food joints in Canada and the US didn’t carry the same toys, or Canadians got “abridged” sets, by which I mean we got the same set minus a few toys. I don’t think that Arby’s in Canada ever had Babar toys.
Those Disney/Epcot toys at McDonald’s were great, as well. I was always bitter about the fact that the Canadian mountie Dale was only in Canada, whereas the US got Moroccan Dale. We had both versions here, though.
Yeah, I was sort of raised on fast food. Never eat the stuff now, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Nina @ 07/18/2008 11:06 AM

I remember getting an Alf record that was kind of made out of paper that you had to wiegh down with pennies.

The fry guys and california rasin figures were always good. In more recent times the star wars promos were cool back when episode one still seemed like a great idea.

Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/18/2008 11:08 AM

Matt

Funny you should mention the hell that Staten Island BK’s are, because at the same time you were posting this, my Son and his wife were waiting a literal hour for their order at a SIBK with no other customers on line (it caused them to miss the midnight Batman showing, not a happy moment). You’re right though our BK’s suck and are expensive too! Even Manhatten BK’s charge less for food then ours.

As for Mc-Favorites I have three, all from the early 80′s, but they’re not Happy Meal toys.

1) “The Great Muppet Caper” Collectible Glasses. They were kept at my Grandmother’s house, it was a very fond memory that lasted well into adulthood.

2) Atari Scratch’n'Win contest. Cross promotion with fast food was still new back then, so this seemed so cool.

3) Flying Saucer Happy Meals – (The container itself was a flying saucer frisbee. They were totally awesome!) I remember sitting in the car with my dad at the Grant City train station, with the smell of Mc-Dinner filling the car, waiting for mom to get home and playing with this space-ship.

As for the cardboard containers they still make them, but seem to only keep them in supply for the first week and only for major promotions. My daughter got one for “Kung Fu Panda” and it was so cool looking I pondered saving it for a time, but the parent in me won out and I tossed in the recycle bin after a week.

As for finding them locally, I would recommend the Rock ‘n’ Roll McDonald’s in Midland Beach. I believe it’s the Island’s oldest McDonald’s and they always seem to have the boxed Happy Meal’s and other promo’s in good supply at least for the first week or so.

Chestnuts roasted by Shawn @ 07/18/2008 11:09 AM

FIREBALL ISLAND!!! Not to derail everyone, but Totally Rad Show did a review/playthrough of Fireball Island, and I thought you’d be interested. Click my name to go to the video. It starts around 20 minutes in…

Chestnuts roasted by Dr Sketch @ 07/18/2008 11:19 AM

By far my favorite McDonald’s Happy meal was the line of Dukes of Hazard Happy Meal boxes. There was a jeep, Boss Hogg’s car and of course, the General Lee. These were plastic molded “boxes” that came with stickers to apply on them. I don’t know why exactly, but these rocked my world!!

Chestnuts roasted by Brownloaf @ 07/18/2008 11:19 AM

I was also HUGE fan of the Looney Tunes/Superheroes toys. Daffy was Batman, Bugs was Superman, Tazmanian Devil was Flash, Petunia Pig was Wonder Woman.

I also loved the Batman animated character cars/vehicles. There was Batman, Robin, Two-Face, Catwoman, Joker, and maybe Batgirl.

I also had the changeables and pails.

I also was into the California Raisons (I even dressed as one for Halloween and I still think they did the best version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer ever) so I had some of the Hardees figures.

None of the restaurants seem to target kids anymore, probably due to the whole obesity epidemic. I couldn’t tell you what toys the restaurants currently have. Plus they seem to have gotten generic. I was never into the Hot Wheels/Barbie promotions McDonalds frequently does.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/18/2008 11:20 AM

ATD has a point. Maybe you got the non-descript bag because you got a Big Kids Meal, and big kids don’t want the world to know they’re eating kids meals.

My favorite food toy ever wasn’t from a kids meal. I’m too young to remember exactly how it worked, but Domino’s had a toy car promotion. I seem to remember them sticking a form to the box or something. Anyway, it was a perfect little 80′s-style Matchbox hatchback with a Domino’s sign on top and logos on the doors. Inside, there was even a little pizza oven on the front seat. I still cherish it. That bad boy’s metal too, so it’ll last a while.

I had a Birdie mirror I kept forever, and I remember that the Bambi toys were the only ones we actually worked on collecting the whole set (not sure why…) I also had a pail from the 1984 Olympics promotion that I kept until most of the design had worn off. I don’t know why getting your meal in a pail is so exciting, but it is.

I have to give a shout out to the DQ kids meals that always came with a free cone token attached to the box. When you were done eating, you punched out the token, took it to the register, and got a kids cone. Of course, if you didn’t dine in, you could always keep the token for a later visit. I still talk about that to this day.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 07/18/2008 11:33 AM

My favorite McDonald’s Happy Meals as a child were the beach pails they would release during the summer. It was so exciting because they would always correspond with our upcoming beach trip to SC.
In my early 20s, I collected all the teeny Beanie Babies.

Chestnuts roasted by Sarah @ 07/18/2008 11:37 AM

I went pretty psycho over the Happy Meals that were boats. Even though I remember consistently getting the Ferryboat. Never did get the racing boat.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/39/81007407_9ae4b944e7.jpg?v=0
I also remember Army’s giving out Mr.Men characters. I think i still have Mr. Bump somewhere.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 07/18/2008 11:38 AM

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