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07/17/2008: X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Burger Tyrant.


Bah, this shit’s ridiculous. I’ve been seeing commercials for this Burger King “Club BK” kids’ meal starring Pikachu and Apple Fries for a while now, and it seemed like just the type of neoclassic Happy Meal worth blogging about. I realize that Burger King doesn’t make Happy Meals, but you know what I mean.


I expected the world, but what I got back was this sad, boring bag, with a Pokemon toy haphazardly shoved in with overcooked fries and crown-shaped chicken tenders. They didn’t have Apple Fries in stock, which is kind of unbelievable. If there’s one thing I’d never expect anyone to sell out of, it’s APPLE FRIES.

That isn’t what’s bothering me, though. What really bugs me is the total lack of customized packaging. There’s no “experience” to this.

BACK IN MY DAY, the Happy Meal was as much about its flashy bravado as its toys and cheeseburgers. Was there a single kid in the country who didn’t at least try to keep the house-shaped Happy Meal box in perfect working order throughout their meal, free of folds and fry oil? Hell, a good many of us, myself included, went so far as to take those boxes home with us, working under the idea that we’d keep them forever and ever. We never did, but the fun was in the notion that we could.

Those Happy Meal boxes, with their colorful artwork and random puzzles, were as much a part of the filthy food experience as anything else. When McDonald’s began phasing out the boxes in favor of less-artful bags, I was sad, but at least the bags still had the same gamut of illustrations and puzzles…albeit less colorful ones.

But this?! An unrelated bag lacking any kind of kiddy theme? APPALLED.


To protest, I refuse to acknowledge the neat holographic Prinplup card or the Pokemon-themed card holder it came with. Take that, BK.

In anti-celebration of this disappointing turn of events, I’d like to institute a new survey. In the comments, talk about your favorite Happy Meal toy ever. Yes, the free toys you got from other fine greasy food establishments are totally fine to talk about, too.

On the plus side: If getting pissed about the quality level of a Burger King “Club BK” kids’ meal is the worst thing that happened to me today, I think I’m still in the black.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 263 comments

Justin

http://cgi.ebay.com/Land-Before-Time-PETRIE-Rubber-Hand-Puppet-Daycare_W0QQitemZ350065343640QQihZ022QQcategoryZ95261QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1638Q2em118Q2el1247

your welcome

AND, um, I remember the transformer ones…the ones that changed from mcdonalds food into robots, those were rad, and the often mentioned super mario bros. 3 toys were the sex.

Ghosted by Shad @ 07/18/2008 12:40 AM EDT

One of my best thrift shop finds ever was a complete mint-in-the-bags-with-tags set of all three of the McDonald’s Holiday Muppet Babies. I almost went totally ballistic when I found those. They’re currently part of the display under my Christmas tree. (We did have them when I was a kid, but they were long gone by the time the 90s rolled around.) I found one of the PokeBall BK toys at the same store a year later (Pikachu) – it’s proudly displayed on the same shelf as my Care Bears and Sailor Moon dolls from 2000.

My brother had the Charizard PokeBall for years, though I don’t think he still has it. He also had the Buzz, Woody, and RC “Toy Story” toys and three “Hunchback of Notre Dame” handpuppets.

Mom used the McDonald’s Spooky Pails as Halloween decorations for many years, though she’s since told me she got rid of them. Also around for years – the Disney characters dressed in world-themed costumes (I had Three Caballeros Donald on my shelf in college), pull-back DuckTales toys from McDonald’s, and the famous Changeables. (I remember having the Chicken Nuggets, the Shake, and I think there were two of the Big Macs.)

Ghosted by starwenn @ 07/18/2008 12:41 AM EDT

I had totally forgotten about those mcboo pails but HOLY SHIT that brings back memories, damn…I really want a set of those now.

Ghosted by Shad @ 07/18/2008 12:41 AM EDT

Definitely the McBoo pails. They were awesome. Mickey D’s usually came up with some pretty good stuff for Halloween.

The Burger Kings in Staten Island suck ass. First of all, they never have the the current toys. I took my kids there for Indiana Jones toys, and all they could come up with were leftovers from Fantastic Four. At that rate, I expect the Staten Island Burger Kings will have apple fries sometime in 2010.

Ghosted by Ann Marie @ 07/18/2008 12:42 AM EDT

Another non-toy that i miss, the metal play scapes that included Big mac and mayor mc cheese. I cried when the last mcdonalds around here was replaced with plastic slides.

Ghosted by bookafish @ 07/18/2008 12:43 AM EDT

also…damn, those rescue ranger toys…I would give a nut for a complete mint set of those things.

Ghosted by shad @ 07/18/2008 12:44 AM EDT

Ann Marie: I gotta be honest, I had to zip through this entry due to insane day, but I really wanted to talk about the Burger Kings in Staten Island. They’re unbelievably bad. I really don’t get it. It’s every single one of them, too. I can’t imagine that this is common for BKs everywhere, as they wouldn’t be in business if so. Every BK here is just soooo…ghetto.

I’ve written about some of the Happy Meals discussed above…

McBoo Pails.

Changeables.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/18/2008 12:44 AM EDT

Shad, thank you. I’ve actually seen him on there before but I never think to look when i actually have cash. It’s my stupidity more than anything else.

On the subject of the giant tastebud, in a mall McDonalds in the 80’s there was one of those big scarey animatronic fuckers that was shaped like a hot air balloon full of McDonald’s characters. Ronald did a ten minute bit that replayed itself over and over, and part of it explained how grimace became purple. I don’t remember anything else, but the fact that he ‘became’ purple might be news to you Grimace enthusiasts.

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/18/2008 12:45 AM EDT

squee: I don’t know where “in the red” came from. Thanks!

kb: I think what you’re referring to are actually old containers that were used for Happy Meals a long, long time ago. I’d kill for one of those, too. I can’t remember if the containers were considered “the toy” or if they were just simply containers, but I definitely remember them being out more than once.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/18/2008 12:47 AM EDT

back in the day people, mcdonalds REVOLVED around kids and the all mighty happy meal, now…it’s not that big of a deal. Sad, but true.

Ghosted by Shad @ 07/18/2008 12:47 AM EDT

Matt, they did not count as the toy, they just counted as the box, the one year they toy inside was the McNuggets. Maybe the first year they were the toy, but not after.

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/18/2008 12:49 AM EDT

Justin: Cool — I remember them doubling nicely as sandbox/beach toys. And thinking about them has just reminded me that I indeed had a sandbox, which doesn’t seem at all “me,” much less like something my parents would’ve gone through the trouble of building.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/18/2008 12:53 AM EDT

ignore my last post I was confused about what was being questioned…

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/18/2008 12:54 AM EDT

ugh, perfect timing…

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/18/2008 12:54 AM EDT

Sorry, your comment is forever a part of history.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/18/2008 12:55 AM EDT

I don’t remember much in the way of Happy meal toys from when I was a kid beyond Hot wheel cars.

Some of the most memorable ones I’ve gotten since I was a adult was from Taco Bell (they suck for toys now though) The Toys I’m talking about now were Star Wars related. Argo city that floated using magnets, a really cool Millenium falcon. Mirror box thing with half of Darth Vader’s head in it (but the mirror made it look whole)
I held onto these for quite awhile.

Ghosted by Wenthral @ 07/18/2008 12:55 AM EDT

I’ll redeem myself by stimulating everyone’s memory with a similar promotion not yet mentioned:

the earth day gardening sets from McDonalds, with the bucket, the seeds, the mini purple rake thing, the shovel, and the watering can.

later they did a similar thing or wendy’s ripped them off, i forget which, but it involved a really shitty terarium

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/18/2008 12:58 AM EDT

I don’t know if anyone remembers this, Maybe Matt has already written about it.

But at some point, McDonalds was promoting Capt. Planet.

So to save the earth, they made Hard Plastic Happy meal Containers. The looked just like regular Happy Meal Boxes, except they opened like lunch Boxes. The gimmick was that you bring in your container and the McDonalds employee’s would load them up with food. That way you wouldn’t throw away unnecessary carboard.

I remember them being in conjunction with Capt. Planet, But I seem to recall getting a Mini Flower Watering Can in mine.

Ghosted by Jester @ 07/18/2008 1:01 AM EDT

You crossed out Manaphy.

You crossed out Manaphy.

YOU CROSSED OUT MANAPHY.

I can put up with a lot of things. But, I cannot stand idle by this.

MATTHEW CARACAPPA. WE ARE THROUGH. FINISHED.

Ghosted by Neg @ 07/18/2008 1:02 AM EDT

You know I love you, mang ^___^

But, oh man, you lucky bastard. You got the Manaphy case :D

My favorite Poke, if you couldn’t tell. Movie 9, represent!

Ghosted by Neg @ 07/18/2008 1:04 AM EDT

It seems Neg has crossed to the bad place

Ghosted by Bookafish @ 07/18/2008 1:05 AM EDT

My fav poke is Weezing. Neg what’s your Diamond or Pearl code? Maybe we could battle sometime ?

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/18/2008 1:06 AM EDT

My favorites have been covered. Thanks though Matt, we twenty somethings should make a concerted effort to keep McDonald’s golden years alive. I look at the shitty plastic turds they pawn off on kids these days, it’s sad. Sure they still get a kick, but nothing featuring Dora will ever match a Changeable. Gone forever are the days when a McDonald’s toy was a wholly viable addition to a kid’s first string squad.

Ghosted by midship @ 07/18/2008 1:06 AM EDT

The Animation Wheel!

Followed closely by the following, in no particular order: (McD’s) McBoo pails, Changeables, Halloween McNugget Buddies, Tiny Toon flip cars, Fraggle Rock cars, Little Mermaid original toys, (Hardee’s) Nicktoons back to school, and the (Pizza Hut?) Eureeka’s Castle puppets. But really, I enjoyed pretty much all the toys I got when I was a kid, even the Barbies. (With/without hair. I’d play with them in the pool.)

Jester, that is an awesome story!

Ghosted by Rainbowfeet @ 07/18/2008 1:08 AM EDT

Gotta love the Mario 3, the rescue rangers, the muppet themed toys, but anyone else remember from like the early 90s when mcdonalds was promoting saving the rain forest and they replaced the box with a rainforest themed bag, and had things like cheap water colors and stuff like that? I think I am remembering correctly

Ghosted by Peter @ 07/18/2008 1:11 AM EDT

Yeah, My Dad is quite a badass. I think he felt bad because my Brothers both had Birthday’s that fell in July and Sept. could make the trek to Showbiz Pizza or place that was like Chuck E. Cheese called, Bullwinkles. It was like Chuck E. Cheese in every way, but it had Bullwinkle Characters in it. I don’t remember it all that well, except hanging out around the Natasha and Boris area WAY too much.

Ghosted by Jester @ 07/18/2008 1:14 AM EDT

Um, that comment was directed at Rainbowfeet BTW. It wasn’t just a random exclamation of boasting about my Dad.

Ghosted by Jester @ 07/18/2008 1:15 AM EDT

Yeah, even the Barbies were ok, because my sister was sort of my best friend, and there needed to be female characters to offset the males. We always played ken to be an egotistical braindead asshole and abused him something feirce. It was fun.

Action figures of that size were the perfect toys for in the pool, there’s something infinitely fun to sinking/drowning characters when you’ve never actually known a drown victim.

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/18/2008 1:17 AM EDT

0301-7819-8932 Here’s my code in case you change yur mind Neg. Also Matt I do believe you have Diamond. What do you say to a battle?

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/18/2008 1:20 AM EDT

i loved the McDs toys that were modeled after the fries, hamburger, and drink..and they transformed into robots(?). also lines that were cartoon themed, all of them. off the top of my head the Fragile Rock and Muppet Babies toys instant winners.

also, i dont know about bests, cause i think i culled all expectation of owning the best when the anticipation was that the next toy could be even better.

Ghosted by dphunkt @ 07/18/2008 1:24 AM EDT

Justin, i totally remember those earth day kits now, previously forgotten, thanks for refreshing my memory on that…ah, good times.

Ghosted by Shad @ 07/18/2008 1:25 AM EDT

Hey, While on the subject of McBoo pails, Didn’t the ghost one glow in the dark?

I seem to recall that.

Ghosted by Jester @ 07/18/2008 1:29 AM EDT

The red Koopa Paratroopa that came with a little squeezy pump so you could make him jump ^__^

Ghosted by Bluejay @ 07/18/2008 1:31 AM EDT

Jester, yes it did, but not all of them. not until like 89 or 90. after ones from years past broke I’d always have glowing faces with non glowing lids mix and matched.

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/18/2008 1:35 AM EDT

I seem to recall that my mom still has a Frankenstein pail. It’s currently filled with broken Crayola’s if memory serves me right.

Ghosted by Jester @ 07/18/2008 1:39 AM EDT

the thing about the mcboo pails was…because you got one every time you ordered a happy meal and because they had them for a few years in a row I had, like, multiples of each one of those…man, I wonder why they seem to be impossible to find on ebay? you would think otherwise.

Ghosted by Anonymous @ 07/18/2008 1:39 AM EDT

Who else here has toys of Mac Tonight? I do.

They still do Happy Meals in the boxes, but I think they came back within the last 5 years.

One of my favorite Happy Meal Toy sets I remember was a huge cross-promotion where you had like 20 toys that were all cars of a large train. The locomotive had Ronald, you had Hot Wheels, 101 Dalmations, Muppet Babies, Barbie, Tiny Toons, assorted other toy lines to boot.

I, too loved the Hot Wheels promotions. Got many a great car from those. My favorites were the tiny Drag Racers. I got hours of fun out of those, I wish I could find them. I also remember some years the “Boy” toy were mini Tonka cars.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 07/18/2008 1:40 AM EDT

I have a huge luggage bag full to bursting and too heavy for one arm full of Hotwheels and matchbox cars, including probably most of the ones I ever got from McDonalds, and yes, the drag racers were great. nascar and funnycar McDonalds shit.

I didn’t care for their Tonka lines, but I was older.

Ghosted by Justin B @ 07/18/2008 1:45 AM EDT

My favorite Happy Meal was the Mario Bros 3 series. The boxes for it were a toy onto themselves. They had cutouts so you could use the box itself as a playset for the toys. You were MEANT to take them home and play with them.

Ghosted by Brian @ 07/18/2008 2:08 AM EDT

Probably a tie between Boo Pails and Changeables, which I think you’ve both written about, possibly more than once. But I also remember something from Hardees (back when they had more than 2 locations) when Ghostbusters 2 came out. I don’t remember the toy at all, but the food came in this weird molded plastic box that was shaped like a proton pack or a PKE meter or Ecto 1 or something… it was like just the packaging was a whole different toy, and I have a very dim, hazy memory of it being awesome. Anyone else remember anything like this?

Also, long time reader (like, 5 years now), first time poster. Hello, everybodeee!

Ghosted by Hanglyman @ 07/18/2008 2:13 AM EDT

didn’t actually come in a happy meal, think it was a buck more, but I loved the disney glasses that were made to commemorate Animal Kingdom…

Ghosted by JennyB7 @ 07/18/2008 2:28 AM EDT

Hey Hanglyman ! =) Be sure to come by and post often.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/18/2008 2:34 AM EDT

There are a lot I’ve liked, but the ones that stick out to me the most are the Garfield ones that were similar to the Muppet Babies figure/vehicle two-packs, and the Super Mario 3 toys.

But I didn’t care for the jumping Mario (I had one like that already, in classic colors and sans Raccoon power) or Luigi; rather, I dug the Goomba and Koopa Paratroopa most. I also got the under-3 Raccoon Mario fingerpuppet, which was a favorite of mine for many years, acting as my main Mario “action figure,” despite lacking the “action” part.

That’s where Wendy’s came in only a few years ago; they gave away full-fledged Mario action figures in their kids meals. Blister-card, five points of articulation, a pretty good sculpt… it remains a favorite to this day, even this late in the game.

–LBD “Nytetrayn”

Ghosted by LBD "Nytetrayn" @ 07/18/2008 2:52 AM EDT

Oh are we doing favorite happy meal toys?

I must have missed it because someone *cough* crossed out Manaphy~

I have to go with the Hotcakes Pterodactyl. However, the orange cell phone that turned into a periscope has always been nipping at its heels…er, talons.

Ghosted by Neg @ 07/18/2008 3:11 AM EDT

My favorite was the Luigi w/ starman pullback toy from McD’s. I still have it, and play with it. Daily.

Ghosted by Guido @ 07/18/2008 3:12 AM EDT

FRAGGLE ROCK VEGETABLE GO CARTS!!!!!!!

The Happy Meal boxes had punch-out holes you could race the cars through. The box was an accessory! Tied with that was Astro-Sniks, little figures that were trying to compete with those PVC Smurf figures of the 80’s.

After that, any “sample size” toy from a larger toy line, like Playmobil, Capsela, or those crinkly colored tube building toys that were like big bendy straws.

Ghosted by Shawn P @ 07/18/2008 3:20 AM EDT

Hmm, quite a few come to mind. The Flintstones Movie product placement offered a sweet line of Bedrock houses and establishments with neato cars. The Hot Wheels toys were always good because that was as close to a toy that you’d get on a trip to K-Mart. Burger King’s Toy Story toys were also of high quality. But among the coolest were the McDonald’s food robots that were like Transformers but shaped like various Mickey D’s treats.

Ghosted by Cigar @ 07/18/2008 3:23 AM EDT

I didn’t read over all the posts, so I don’t know if anyone mentioned this or not.

BUT! Does anyone remember the Power Rangers/McDonald’s promotion of (I think) 1995. I’m fairly sure it was for the Power Rangers Movie. The toys were simply awesome.

http://www.lorenjavier.com/toychest/asian/images/adamwithninjazord.gif

There is a pic of the black ranger of the set.

Basically, you got articulated (arms, legs AND heads), scaled-down versions of all the rangers. As a bonus, you got their zord, complete with wheels so it could roll along in the most awesome of fashions.

Insert Power Ranger into said zord, and you instantly had hours of fun.

The full-sized Power Rangers toys made by Ban-Dai were always hard to find (especially Tommy the Green Ranger. Even though I did have two, one is still mint-in-box somewhere). And the zords were VERY expensive, therefore collecting a full set of rangers and their zords was pretty hard.

The McDonald’s toys offered a great alternative. And hell, the detailing on them was great for McDonald’s toys.

As an added bonus, they were roughly the same size as GI Joes, which meant I had an entire army of baddies for my pint-sized rangers to face!

Ghosted by nateFNalbright @ 07/18/2008 3:40 AM EDT

I remember the plastic Grimace comb (because I’m 80) and the Shirt Tails from Wendy’s. Wendy’s also had the Mr. & Little Miss books which were really boss. Oh, I also liked the McDonald’s barbies and McBoo pails. Can’t remember much more than that.

Ghosted by Faith @ 07/18/2008 3:41 AM EDT

I wouldn’t admit this anywhere but here, but my favorite happy meal toy was the Muppet Baby figures they gave out in McDonalds in the mid 80s. I really loved that show as a kid. They were still displayed in my room when I was a teenager listening to NIN at full blast while my parents wondered what they were going to do with me. Now that I’m 30 I still have them sitting on a shelf in my spare bedroom. The only other childrens meal toys I have besides those that I have kept since my childhood are one of the bean bag reindeers Wendys gave away in the 80s and the Alf puppets given away by Burger King. I think I have the Simpsons figures stored somewhere here as well.

Ghosted by Jack @ 07/18/2008 3:56 AM EDT

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